Archive for the ‘Crazy Things’ tag
A New Chapter
I've started a new chapter in my life, a chapter that I hope is just the beginning to a really great book. My life hasn't always been easy. For so long, I have let the past and the present control me. I've lived in fear; I've lived with anxiety and panic; I've felt lonely and depressed; I've done things that I never thought were possible; and lastly....I've lost myself in others.
About a week and a half ago, I left my boyfriend. I fell so completely in love with him in no time and convinced myself that we would be together forever. I wanted to believe that so much. All of the little lies and all of the crazy things he did were okay because he loved me and those few "perfect moments" kept me going.
Well, our relationship lasted for just eight months and in that eight months, I had lost everything that was important in my life, including myself. And up until the end of last week, I didn't feel very good about moving on and looking forward. I was scared.
BUT.....a friend gave me the shove I needed. He challenged me to take a really good look at myself, a really good look at my life. Boy, I didn't like what I saw. I kept convincing myself that I was okay when really, I was so lost inside.
In just a short time, I must say that I have come a long way. You see, you can sit there and dream about what you want your life to be like or you can actually take the initiative, set goals and meet them so you can actually "live" the life you dream of. That's what I've decided to do.
I go to the gym daily....something that I kept promising my friend I would do but then always found excuses not to. Now I can see why he wanted me to go. I feel INCREDIBLE. I have so much energy and I just feel so confident. It's really nice. It also has reduced my cravings for coke.
I started eating right and have almost quit smoking. I've made plans with another close friend....she is going to take me hiking in about four months. I should be in pretty good shape by then and I've always dreamed about going hiking....so instead of dreaming about it, I'm making it my reality.
My whole point to this long blah, blah, blah is to tell you that you can do anything you "dream" of doing. This is YOUR life. Nobody can tell you how to live it.
If you're trying to quit drugs, think about why. Make a list of what the drugs do for you and then make a list of how they hurt you. I'm sure the "hurt" side far outweighs the good. Write down things you want out of your life. Stop thinking about what you've done wrong in the past and look at what you are going to do right in the future.
I've always been a present and past dweller. I had to see my ex the other day and I started crying and then something just hit me. If I kept crying, it was going to ruin "my" day. Nobody can make you feel something you don't allow. I wasn't going to allow him to keep hurting me. This was not my addiction anymore. This was not my problem and as much as I love him, I decided to completely let him go. And after, I felt such a weight lifted.
Everytime you choose good over bad, it gets easier. Everytime you say no to a substance, it gets easier the next time.
Sometimes we forget our true potential....we are so used to thinking negative and after a while, negative is the only thinking we have. We program our brains. We are what we think.
I'm so happy now that I have learned to let go. I never thought it was something I was capable of and because of that thinking, I kept using and I kept staying in an unhealthy relationship. Then one day, a friend told me that I "could" do it. I thought about it and realized he was right. I could do it if I really wanted to. And I did. I wanted my life back. I know you want your life back. Don't ever give up because one of those tries are gonna be the one that sets you free from your addiction....sets you free and gives you your life back.
Hugs
About a week and a half ago, I left my boyfriend. I fell so completely in love with him in no time and convinced myself that we would be together forever. I wanted to believe that so much. All of the little lies and all of the crazy things he did were okay because he loved me and those few "perfect moments" kept me going.
Well, our relationship lasted for just eight months and in that eight months, I had lost everything that was important in my life, including myself. And up until the end of last week, I didn't feel very good about moving on and looking forward. I was scared.
BUT.....a friend gave me the shove I needed. He challenged me to take a really good look at myself, a really good look at my life. Boy, I didn't like what I saw. I kept convincing myself that I was okay when really, I was so lost inside.
In just a short time, I must say that I have come a long way. You see, you can sit there and dream about what you want your life to be like or you can actually take the initiative, set goals and meet them so you can actually "live" the life you dream of. That's what I've decided to do.
I go to the gym daily....something that I kept promising my friend I would do but then always found excuses not to. Now I can see why he wanted me to go. I feel INCREDIBLE. I have so much energy and I just feel so confident. It's really nice. It also has reduced my cravings for coke.
I started eating right and have almost quit smoking. I've made plans with another close friend....she is going to take me hiking in about four months. I should be in pretty good shape by then and I've always dreamed about going hiking....so instead of dreaming about it, I'm making it my reality.
My whole point to this long blah, blah, blah is to tell you that you can do anything you "dream" of doing. This is YOUR life. Nobody can tell you how to live it.
If you're trying to quit drugs, think about why. Make a list of what the drugs do for you and then make a list of how they hurt you. I'm sure the "hurt" side far outweighs the good. Write down things you want out of your life. Stop thinking about what you've done wrong in the past and look at what you are going to do right in the future.
I've always been a present and past dweller. I had to see my ex the other day and I started crying and then something just hit me. If I kept crying, it was going to ruin "my" day. Nobody can make you feel something you don't allow. I wasn't going to allow him to keep hurting me. This was not my addiction anymore. This was not my problem and as much as I love him, I decided to completely let him go. And after, I felt such a weight lifted.
Everytime you choose good over bad, it gets easier. Everytime you say no to a substance, it gets easier the next time.
Sometimes we forget our true potential....we are so used to thinking negative and after a while, negative is the only thinking we have. We program our brains. We are what we think.
I'm so happy now that I have learned to let go. I never thought it was something I was capable of and because of that thinking, I kept using and I kept staying in an unhealthy relationship. Then one day, a friend told me that I "could" do it. I thought about it and realized he was right. I could do it if I really wanted to. And I did. I wanted my life back. I know you want your life back. Don't ever give up because one of those tries are gonna be the one that sets you free from your addiction....sets you free and gives you your life back.
Hugs
Language of Letting Go - Nov. 5 - Let’s Make a Deal
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Let's Make a Deal
The relationship just wasn't working out, and I wanted it to so badly. I kept thinking if I just made myself look prettier, if I just tried to be a more loving, kind person, then he would love me. I turned myself inside out to be something better, when all along, who I was was okay. I just couldn't see what I was doing, though, until I moved forward and accepted reality.
--Anonymous
One of the most frustrating stages of acceptance is the bargaining stage. In denial, there is bliss. In anger, there is some sense of power. In barraging, we vacillate between believing there is something we can do to change things and realizing there isn't.
We may get our hopes up again and again, only to have them dashed.
Many of us have turned ourselves inside out to try to negotiate with reality. Some of us have done things that appear absurd, in retrospect, once we've achieved acceptance.
"If I try to be a better person, then this won't happen...If I look prettier, keep a cleaner house, lose weight, smile more, let go, hang on more tightly, close my eyes and count to ten, holler, then I won't have to face this loss, this change."
There are stories from members of Al Anon about attempts to bargain with the alcoholic's drinking: "If I keep the house cleaner, he won't drink.... If I make her happy by buying her a new dress, she won't drink... If I buy my son a new car, he'll stop using drugs."
Adult children have bargained with their losses too: "Maybe if I'm the perfect child, then Mom or Dad will love and approve of me, stop drinking, and be there for me the way I want them to be." We do big, small, and in between things, sometimes-crazy things, to ward off, stop, or stall the pain involved with accepting reality.
There is no substitute for accepting reality. That's our goal. But along the way, we may try to strike a deal. Recognizing our attempts at bargaining for what they are - part of the grief process - helps our lives become manageable.
Today, I will give others and myself the freedom to fully grieve losses. I will hold myself accountable, but I will give myself permission to be human.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Let's Make a Deal
The relationship just wasn't working out, and I wanted it to so badly. I kept thinking if I just made myself look prettier, if I just tried to be a more loving, kind person, then he would love me. I turned myself inside out to be something better, when all along, who I was was okay. I just couldn't see what I was doing, though, until I moved forward and accepted reality.
--Anonymous
One of the most frustrating stages of acceptance is the bargaining stage. In denial, there is bliss. In anger, there is some sense of power. In barraging, we vacillate between believing there is something we can do to change things and realizing there isn't.
We may get our hopes up again and again, only to have them dashed.
Many of us have turned ourselves inside out to try to negotiate with reality. Some of us have done things that appear absurd, in retrospect, once we've achieved acceptance.
"If I try to be a better person, then this won't happen...If I look prettier, keep a cleaner house, lose weight, smile more, let go, hang on more tightly, close my eyes and count to ten, holler, then I won't have to face this loss, this change."
There are stories from members of Al Anon about attempts to bargain with the alcoholic's drinking: "If I keep the house cleaner, he won't drink.... If I make her happy by buying her a new dress, she won't drink... If I buy my son a new car, he'll stop using drugs."
Adult children have bargained with their losses too: "Maybe if I'm the perfect child, then Mom or Dad will love and approve of me, stop drinking, and be there for me the way I want them to be." We do big, small, and in between things, sometimes-crazy things, to ward off, stop, or stall the pain involved with accepting reality.
There is no substitute for accepting reality. That's our goal. But along the way, we may try to strike a deal. Recognizing our attempts at bargaining for what they are - part of the grief process - helps our lives become manageable.
Today, I will give others and myself the freedom to fully grieve losses. I will hold myself accountable, but I will give myself permission to be human.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
TOPIC: NEWCOMERS. Your Story. 12 Steps & Promises To Come True.
Hi Im Sharon an Im an Alcoholic.
By the Grace of my HP an people
like you here in SR, I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely grateful.
How awesome it is that many of
the younger generation are noticing
they have problems with alcohol
or drugs and are reaching out for
help these days.
Shoots, when i was 18, haven just
moved out on my own, i partied, worked
and lived it up doing all the crazy things
young people do, however, never really
understanding the consequences that
followed my actions.
I figured I drank just like my grandfather
and could hold my liquor quite well.
Hmmmmm....years passed and after a horrible
accident in Feb 90 in which i ran off the road
at 2am hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top
the ground, it landing me in the hospital for
10 days with many broken ribs, contusions,
and a punctured spleen which was removed
so i would bleed to death.
A few months passed with no alcohol and
I healed almost perfectly........Come Aug. 10th
I stepped out once again to local club, right
back to the place i was before, to begin drinking
moderately then only a few hours later i was
home late trying to take my life.....
The progression of my disease was so rapid
that it still blows me away just thinking about it.
Family intervention took place and the police
came to take me away like a harden criminal
to rehab...... Aug. 11th was my very first day in
without alcohol and i continue to call it my
Sobriety birthday.
It was a 28 day stay there where i recieved
the tools and knowledge of my disease. The 12 steps
of recovery are my guidelines to live by one
day at a time without alcohol.
Today I can honestly say I have experienced
the joy of recieving the gifts of recovery mentioned
in our Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Some have come quickly and some very slowly.....
nevertheless i have recieved most of them.....
It wasnt until I became COMPLETELY HONEST...
the last of the 3.....openmindedness, willingness
and honesty that i experienced the NEW FREEDOM
that is mentioned in the book or what we so often
in meetings.
Today is no different for me like it was when i
first entered AA. Today is another sober day of many
one days at a time collected to get me where i am
today.
Happy Joyous and Free.
It's not as complicated as it seems to be...I
just take it one step at a time day by day sharing
ur own experiences, strengths and hopes with
another person in recovery like myself.
And that's the way it works if you work it.
Thanks for letting me share
By the Grace of my HP an people
like you here in SR, I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely grateful.
How awesome it is that many of
the younger generation are noticing
they have problems with alcohol
or drugs and are reaching out for
help these days.
Shoots, when i was 18, haven just
moved out on my own, i partied, worked
and lived it up doing all the crazy things
young people do, however, never really
understanding the consequences that
followed my actions.
I figured I drank just like my grandfather
and could hold my liquor quite well.
Hmmmmm....years passed and after a horrible
accident in Feb 90 in which i ran off the road
at 2am hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top
the ground, it landing me in the hospital for
10 days with many broken ribs, contusions,
and a punctured spleen which was removed
so i would bleed to death.
A few months passed with no alcohol and
I healed almost perfectly........Come Aug. 10th
I stepped out once again to local club, right
back to the place i was before, to begin drinking
moderately then only a few hours later i was
home late trying to take my life.....
The progression of my disease was so rapid
that it still blows me away just thinking about it.
Family intervention took place and the police
came to take me away like a harden criminal
to rehab...... Aug. 11th was my very first day in
without alcohol and i continue to call it my
Sobriety birthday.
It was a 28 day stay there where i recieved
the tools and knowledge of my disease. The 12 steps
of recovery are my guidelines to live by one
day at a time without alcohol.
Today I can honestly say I have experienced
the joy of recieving the gifts of recovery mentioned
in our Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Some have come quickly and some very slowly.....
nevertheless i have recieved most of them.....
It wasnt until I became COMPLETELY HONEST...
the last of the 3.....openmindedness, willingness
and honesty that i experienced the NEW FREEDOM
that is mentioned in the book or what we so often
in meetings.
Today is no different for me like it was when i
first entered AA. Today is another sober day of many
one days at a time collected to get me where i am
today.
Happy Joyous and Free.
It's not as complicated as it seems to be...I
just take it one step at a time day by day sharing
ur own experiences, strengths and hopes with
another person in recovery like myself.
And that's the way it works if you work it.
Thanks for letting me share
Finalized my Divorce Today
Hi Folks,
Well, I did it, I got out of the relationship with my AW. My divorce was finalized this morning!!!
I first found SR 3 days after my AW and I separated and I felt totally lost. THANKS to everyone here for listening, giving advice, etc. I know I've had some crazy thoughts and probably said some crazy things on here.
I feel someone more "found" now and am excited to move on with my life and continue getting straight. I read a few posts from those just starting to face the battle and it sounds so familiar.
Thanks again everyone and bet of luck!
Sincerely,
TD
aka "Bachelor #1"
Well, I did it, I got out of the relationship with my AW. My divorce was finalized this morning!!!
I first found SR 3 days after my AW and I separated and I felt totally lost. THANKS to everyone here for listening, giving advice, etc. I know I've had some crazy thoughts and probably said some crazy things on here.
I feel someone more "found" now and am excited to move on with my life and continue getting straight. I read a few posts from those just starting to face the battle and it sounds so familiar.
Thanks again everyone and bet of luck!
Sincerely,
TD
aka "Bachelor #1"
Time for the change
I have dug back 3 pages and all I have seen are topic about cars, trucks, sex and drugs... all important topics in their own right.
What about "The Change" in your life.
How are you dealing with it ?
What crazy things have you been experiencing ?
What personality traits changes have you noticed ?
You know they actually have a name for this..? Yea, its call andreapause
I started 3 yrs ago, at least when it was confirmed by the doctor.
You know, the hot flashes, crankiness, being short, feeling restless.
I found its not uncommon to have a career change.
Myself, I went on a full two week Carribean cruise (east and west) 2 yrs ago. This summer I rode to Sturgis SD in the seat of my Harley.
I'm finding that my eye sight is getting worse, my health is good but I'm finding that when I do get sick I get clobbered. When I over do it... I'm wiped out for days, sigh.
Anyone else going thru this ?
What about "The Change" in your life.
How are you dealing with it ?
What crazy things have you been experiencing ?
What personality traits changes have you noticed ?
You know they actually have a name for this..? Yea, its call andreapause
I started 3 yrs ago, at least when it was confirmed by the doctor.
You know, the hot flashes, crankiness, being short, feeling restless.
I found its not uncommon to have a career change.
Myself, I went on a full two week Carribean cruise (east and west) 2 yrs ago. This summer I rode to Sturgis SD in the seat of my Harley.
I'm finding that my eye sight is getting worse, my health is good but I'm finding that when I do get sick I get clobbered. When I over do it... I'm wiped out for days, sigh.
Anyone else going thru this ?
