Drug Rehab Options Blog

Alcoholism is present on both sides of my family. I've had a tendency to drink too much at once since I was 18, but those times were few and far between.

Now, like many here, I am seeking help and a way to get out of this hell.

I won't go into thembarassing things I've done,.....but I would like to tell you how I got here, noting that I'm not excusing myself, but explaining how alcohol became a crutch.

About 8 years ago, my job became increasinglt stressful, my boss increasingly a power hungry arse. I started to drink in the evenings, began to get depressed (but didn't know what it was) and drank more to ease that feeling.

Then my mother got diagnosed with Cancer, which invited more alcohol, more depression. 2 months after my Mom died, my wife filed for divorce, and sudddenly not only was my Mom gone, but now my wife and kids. My wife was aslo drinking heavily, and we weren't happy. I'd plead with her to slow down, because I was trying desperately to. All our friends were heavy drinkers.

I almost lost my licence shortly after my wife left, but the Police Officer, God Bless him took me home instead.

My depression is getting better, but I'm still having troble with alcohol.

I convince myself that I've got ahold of it, and am controlling it now, but that's not true, and eventually the amount creeps back up.

I don't believe moderation can work for me.............right now I'm sipping on Vodka and water, sparingly to try and control the withdrawal symptoms and wean off.

I look forward to being a member here, and hope you can inspire me, and that later I can inspire others.


I took last Friday off to get some yardwork and housework don, and spent it instead drinking, then picking my kids up. I was never totally blitzed, and have improved, but I DID drink about 15 drinks each day. I'm tired of this.

Alcoholism is present on both sides of my family. I've had a tendency to drink too much at once since I was 18, but those times were few and far between.

Now, like many here, I am seeking help and a way to get out of this hell.

I won't go into thembarassing things I've done,.....but I would like to tell you how I got here, noting that I'm not excusing myself, but explaining how alcohol became a crutch.

About 8 years ago, my job became increasinglt stressful, my boss increasingly a power hungry arse. I started to drink in the evenings, began to get depressed (but didn't know what it was) and drank more to ease that feeling.

Then my mother got diagnosed with Cancer, which invited more alcohol, more depression. 2 months after my Mom died, my wife filed for divorce, and sudddenly not only was my Mom gone, but now my wife and kids. My wife was aslo drinking heavily, and we weren't happy. I'd plead with her to slow down, because I was trying desperately to. All our friends were heavy drinkers.

I almost lost my licence shortly after my wife left, but the Police Officer, God Bless him took me home instead.

My depression is getting better, but I'm still having troble with alcohol.

I convince myself that I've got ahold of it, and am controlling it now, but that's not true, and eventually the amount creeps back up.

I don't believe moderation can work for me.............right now I'm sipping on Vodka and water, sparingly to try and control the withdrawal symptoms and wean off.

I look forward to being a member here, and hope you can inspire me, and that later I can inspire others.

Hey everyone... I've posted on here before, mostly about my struggles with my alcoholic dad, and also about my (currently losing) battle to quit smoking... but I'm finally at a point where I'm willing to admit I'm starting to use alcohol a little too much as a crutch to deal with some painful situations going on. I'm definitely the type of person that's guilty of the "oh, I'm not as bad as "that guy" so I must be ok" but I'm starting to realize it's becoming more and more of a problem in my life. I don't drink every day, and there are times where I have one or 2 and no more, and even a lot of situations recently that have come up where I could drink, or am around drinking, and don't have a drop. I even just had ginger ale at a bachelorette party last weekend. BUT, I know how easily and quickly things can slide downhill, and I want to keep that from happening. Beucase there ARE nights when I will very happily settle in at home (I live alone) and finish off a 6-pack or even more by myself... a few times when I've had to call into work because I'm hungover, either from drinking at home or going out with friends and having one too many... I went through an immensely painful breakup in March, and I realize, that pales in comparison to what so many have gone through, but the pain is still real and raw for me and it's like I experience it over and over every day. There's more details to that I'll go into later, but I'll just say the EX is not a drinker and the break-up was not alcohol related in any way. I just see myself walking down a very dangerous hill, and i'm scared I'm going to lose my footing and start skidding and then rolling out of control, and I don't want that to happen. I do go to Alanon meetings because of my dad, not sure if AA is for me at this point, but I do read posts here faithfully, and I know there's a huge wealth of ESH here, and I'm hoping to reap a little bit of that for myself... I know I need to take it one day at a time...
thanks all for listening, and I do appreciate the huge amounts of time and effort and wisdom you all put into making this board what it is...
-Alice

I'm so glad I found this site and I'm hopeful that here I can finally find the support I need to regain control of my life. I've been using alcohol as a crutch for far too long now, I'm not in denial about that. But up until the last few months (and especially the last week and a half) it hasn't crippled my life. Depression, overwhelming stress, guilt & worry have led me to lean on my crutch more and more. I'm not ready cry on anyone's shoulder and tell my FULL story just yet but after reading some of your stories, I'm hoping that soon I'll feel comfortable enough to do so. But because writing is an outlet for my stress, I'm going to share part of my story...

A couple of years ago, my sister came to my house and found me drunk and crying, depressed over an argument with my husband about our individual and collective stresses as a family just moments before... she insisted on taking me to an AA meeting and I was at the point where I knew I needed SOME kind of help so I agreed. I've never felt so uncomfortable and out of place in my life! I honestly felt GUILTY for being there, hearing stories from people who had lost their spouses, children, friends, homes and jobs over their alcoholism. Tales of waking up in a gutter after a week-long binge, not knowing how they got there, brought me to tears. Tales of being strapped to a gurney in DT's, brought me to tears. I didn't judge them but how could I possibly tell my tale to these people who needed MY support WAY more than I needed theirs? It's in my nature to want to help people in need so much so that I tend to neglect myself and my needs... especially when they pale in comparison and I KNOW I should just count my blessings and pull myself up by the bootstraps and get my act together! *sigh*

The last couple of weeks, I have been MAJORLY stressed and I know exactly why but I'm so overwhelmed, I don't have a clue where to begin unravelling this mess... so I've leaned on alcohol more than ever to just numb the pain and try to escape. Of course, that doesn't work but it's an all too comfortably temporary fix... *peh* Neglect of MYSELF has become glaringly apparent to my family (and myself, too)... to the point that my sister came here last night, took my children home with her (with my agreement -- I needed a break and so did they). Today she made phone calls, suggested a "plan" would send me away from my home, husband, children and job for 16 weeks. An hour later, my daughter called me crying to come home... so she's coming home tomorrow, right after school! My son is having too much fun with my brother-in-law, so I'm going to let him stay there for the time being...

I'm aware that I have problems that need my sober attention, and that I have been abusing alcohol instead of taking care of myself, focusing on a plan of action and leaning on someone else's shoulder when I'm stressed... but I honestly don't think 16 weeks away from my family is going to cure my problems... if anything, I think they will make them worse.

Maybe I'm in denial about the extent of my alcohol abuse and if that's the case, I'll check myself into rehab. But for right now, I think that if I can find support from some non-judgemental people who can help me get off this crutch and find strength to walk on my own two feet again, I can get back on track before it's too late. And if I'm lucky enough to find that, I will make it my goal to return the favor.

Thank you for giving me a place to vent.
:ghug

Got off the phone with my XAGF and she is to come over and get the rest of her things. Then she tells me she has a therapy appointment at 1pm. Then goes on to tell me her therapist says I am the worst thing for her.

I wonder how many of these therapist, counselors, wind up being the next enabler, or crutch?

Hello, before I came into recovery I was a complete mess - I had lost my job and couldnt even leave my house because of the pains of withdrawing from heroin. I went into treatment and now attend NA and couldnt feel better - having a great time doing all the things I wasnt doing when using. I attend NA frequently and it really helps me to stay away from those situations.

However, I am still drinking. When I say this I dont mean its taken over as another crutch I mean I am having wine over dinner and whatnot - now I hear what counsellors are saying to me - that I will want more and more - but its been four months now and I've got a hold of it (for now at least)

I want peoples honest opinions and not just the broad "YOUR AN ADDICT" or you are cross-addicting stuff, the problem is in NA you only get one persons side of the story - how about the amount of people who have left NA and carried on in their lives - it is definately a biased viewpoint if nothing else -

so tell me - is it possible to carry on drinking socially after being a heroin addict.

My RAD paid for her car tags today, paid her cell phone bill, thanked me for the $2 warm delights I bought for her.

Last year when her car tags were due, I paid for them plus a new battery, paid her cell phone bill quite a few times all out of fear of not hearing from her.

Last week when the moth end was approaching and I was getting anxious about it, I went and got my toenails done and a massage.

I have to take credit or blame for her being so irresposible. I could never stand to see her let things get too bad.

Last summer after helping her and BF get clean I started the year long process of me letting go. And I now realize I almost loved her to death.

She is 27 and today I saw pride in her face as she took care of her own stuff.

Shame on me for taking that away from her. I am grateful another chance to be her mother not her co-dependent crutch.

The people on this board that share there lives have been the inspiration and strength for me.