Archive for the ‘Crutches’ tag
One little feeling sorry for myself rant…
My divorce was final Nov 1. On Nov 6, I had ankle reconstruction surgery due to an ankle sprain last May.
When I scheduled the surgery, my AXH kept begging to help afterward. Said he'd take off work, cook meals, you name it. I had [mostly] decided that I wasn't going to accept his help. However it didn't matter, he was long gone. Somehow though, I think I really underestimated how tough it would be to recover from that surgery without my husband.
So six weeks on crutches. I was off work a week, worked from home some. Following Thanksgiving I was commuting to work FT on my crutches. Well clearly I was so good at the crutches, that I aggrivated a herniated disk in my neck. Boy do I have some talent.
I was in the worst pain of my life for about 10 days. I cried at times it was so painful. I would get out of bed, take my pain meds, and literally sit for 30 mins to let meds kick in before I could even move around.
Pain has improved a bit, thank God. Saw a spine surgeon last week who tells me that I need spinal surgery to fuse 2 vertibrae in my neck before I risk permanent nerve damage and numbness. Thought it over, and want to go ahead and get this over with to put this whole darn, painful chapter of my life behind me.
I still can't drive following ankle surgery and am facing physical therapy -- so why not just get the neck surgery over with and FINALLY be able to drive, and just do ONE round of physical therapy for neck and ankle.
I have to admit though, it really has me feeling sorry for myself. I also have to handle the neck surgery without help from my mom. She's done enough for me following ankle surgery, and just isn't up to another round.
And, yes, it is Christmas. I'm wrapping gifts for the kids thinking how wrong it is that AXH isn't here.
He has just moved in with another woman also. He's only known her for like 7 weeks and has MOVED IN WITH HER. How devastating. He wasn't willing to be faithful to me, but he thinks he is with her? WTF! I realize he'll eventually treat her the same way he has treated me, but it still hurts an awful lot at times.
So I figure I get one day to mope around and feel sorry for myself, and today has been that day.
While I know that I am far better off without him, it still breaks my heart that he was able to walk away, act as if the kids and I never existed, and totally immerse himself in her life. After 21 years of marriage.
So tomorrow, I hope the:Xmasbear pity party is over. But today, it is in full swing.
:Xmasbear
When I scheduled the surgery, my AXH kept begging to help afterward. Said he'd take off work, cook meals, you name it. I had [mostly] decided that I wasn't going to accept his help. However it didn't matter, he was long gone. Somehow though, I think I really underestimated how tough it would be to recover from that surgery without my husband.
So six weeks on crutches. I was off work a week, worked from home some. Following Thanksgiving I was commuting to work FT on my crutches. Well clearly I was so good at the crutches, that I aggrivated a herniated disk in my neck. Boy do I have some talent.
I was in the worst pain of my life for about 10 days. I cried at times it was so painful. I would get out of bed, take my pain meds, and literally sit for 30 mins to let meds kick in before I could even move around.
Pain has improved a bit, thank God. Saw a spine surgeon last week who tells me that I need spinal surgery to fuse 2 vertibrae in my neck before I risk permanent nerve damage and numbness. Thought it over, and want to go ahead and get this over with to put this whole darn, painful chapter of my life behind me.
I still can't drive following ankle surgery and am facing physical therapy -- so why not just get the neck surgery over with and FINALLY be able to drive, and just do ONE round of physical therapy for neck and ankle.
I have to admit though, it really has me feeling sorry for myself. I also have to handle the neck surgery without help from my mom. She's done enough for me following ankle surgery, and just isn't up to another round.
And, yes, it is Christmas. I'm wrapping gifts for the kids thinking how wrong it is that AXH isn't here.
He has just moved in with another woman also. He's only known her for like 7 weeks and has MOVED IN WITH HER. How devastating. He wasn't willing to be faithful to me, but he thinks he is with her? WTF! I realize he'll eventually treat her the same way he has treated me, but it still hurts an awful lot at times.
So I figure I get one day to mope around and feel sorry for myself, and today has been that day.
While I know that I am far better off without him, it still breaks my heart that he was able to walk away, act as if the kids and I never existed, and totally immerse himself in her life. After 21 years of marriage.
So tomorrow, I hope the:Xmasbear pity party is over. But today, it is in full swing.
:Xmasbear
A sign if the times
Hello,
It was a rough day around here today. My girls were in lockdown at their High School and then bussed over to another school until they check the school for the bomb. One of my daughters broke her ankle and is on crutches. It was so tough on her to get around, especially trying to get on and off the bus. I have been driving her and picking her up since she broke her ankle and we find it tough enough getting her in and out of the car never mind trying to make those stairs on the bus.
I felt helpless at work since we could not go get the kids until we received a notice from the school which was 2 hours after they were in lockdown. My youngest daughter texted me saying "I'm scared". It was awful. Thank God everyone was OK and there wasn't a Bomb.
I just don't get it. Now a days these Bomb scares semm to happen way too often. My girls have been through 3 in the last couple of years. The worsed thing that happened when I was in High School was a fire alarm being pulled. Which back then, basically meant you went out to have a butt and chat with your friends. It seems our kids have so much more to deal with. What is happening with some of the kids these days? They seem to think nothing of threatening to bomb a school.
Thanks for letting me vent.
JRGirl
It was a rough day around here today. My girls were in lockdown at their High School and then bussed over to another school until they check the school for the bomb. One of my daughters broke her ankle and is on crutches. It was so tough on her to get around, especially trying to get on and off the bus. I have been driving her and picking her up since she broke her ankle and we find it tough enough getting her in and out of the car never mind trying to make those stairs on the bus.
I felt helpless at work since we could not go get the kids until we received a notice from the school which was 2 hours after they were in lockdown. My youngest daughter texted me saying "I'm scared". It was awful. Thank God everyone was OK and there wasn't a Bomb.
I just don't get it. Now a days these Bomb scares semm to happen way too often. My girls have been through 3 in the last couple of years. The worsed thing that happened when I was in High School was a fire alarm being pulled. Which back then, basically meant you went out to have a butt and chat with your friends. It seems our kids have so much more to deal with. What is happening with some of the kids these days? They seem to think nothing of threatening to bomb a school.
Thanks for letting me vent.
JRGirl
Oxycodone addiction for pain
I just want to let everone out there who is taking oxycodone for pain and have been taking it for a year, or more, to please find it in your every being to detox off the stuff. I had 3 ankle surgeries in 18 months and was given more and more of the devil drug. It always seemd to me that I needed more and more and the doctors didn't hesitate to give me more. I was up to 18 oxycodone and 2 morphene a day after my last surgery on Aug 26th of this year. Well last week my doctor decided to cut me off and so I went to detox. I was so scared because I didn't think I could deal with the pain in my ankles. I had my first surgery in june of 2007 so I have been on crutches for 17 months.
I went to detox on monday the 17th of November. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I had help from the people at the detox and several of the councelors had been there before. I struggled through the first night and the second night it got a little better. I was finally able to go home wednesday which was earlier than expected but I talked to all the councelors to make sure I was making the right choice. It was so nice to be home and believe it or not I am not in pain. This whole time that freakin oxycodone was causing the pain. I am now able to take advil or tylnol for my pain and it goes away. Now that is something I thought would never be possible. I am actually walking without crutches and feel like my life has a whole new beginning. Thank GOD for DETOX........ Please think about it cause I am living proof that oxycodone was causing the pain.
Thanks for listening Danielle
I went to detox on monday the 17th of November. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I had help from the people at the detox and several of the councelors had been there before. I struggled through the first night and the second night it got a little better. I was finally able to go home wednesday which was earlier than expected but I talked to all the councelors to make sure I was making the right choice. It was so nice to be home and believe it or not I am not in pain. This whole time that freakin oxycodone was causing the pain. I am now able to take advil or tylnol for my pain and it goes away. Now that is something I thought would never be possible. I am actually walking without crutches and feel like my life has a whole new beginning. Thank GOD for DETOX........ Please think about it cause I am living proof that oxycodone was causing the pain.
Thanks for listening Danielle
Time for Life
Have you ever considered how short our time on this earth really is? Yes, I know that there are situations and events that seem to stretch forever, particular those that are unpleasant and painful and those that are full of joy and promise. Nothing can change the span of time each person is allotted and the sooner one understands the value of time the more prosperous that person is.
Now that I have given up my old life; a life foolishly wasted in the pursuit of another drink, another woman and another moment of escape, I have come full circle to see the beauty of a life well lived without the crutches of the past and look forward to the challenges of life's new discoveries.
Life is that exceptional gift of learning and exploration. For years, I placed myself on the outside of the mainstream of life, believing in my self-manufactured pain that life had rejected me, when in fact I had rejected life. While I sought to relieve the pain of my circumstances, I willing chose again and again to move away from the life giving embrace of hope and closer and closer to the depths of despair.
And time moves on. Yesterday, I was but a boy, gazing out of my bedroom window gazing at a road that weaved its way to a future most unknown. Today, I am older and no less astonished at the possibilities that life offers freely as I travel new roads in this happy journey. Was it all a waste, all the missteps, all the pain, all of the experiences? No, it was my life and regrets serve nothing as I look for the beginning of another new day.
What did I learn; move away from despair and grasp the hope of tomorrow. There is time to live, if one truly wants its gifts.
Now that I have given up my old life; a life foolishly wasted in the pursuit of another drink, another woman and another moment of escape, I have come full circle to see the beauty of a life well lived without the crutches of the past and look forward to the challenges of life's new discoveries.
Life is that exceptional gift of learning and exploration. For years, I placed myself on the outside of the mainstream of life, believing in my self-manufactured pain that life had rejected me, when in fact I had rejected life. While I sought to relieve the pain of my circumstances, I willing chose again and again to move away from the life giving embrace of hope and closer and closer to the depths of despair.
And time moves on. Yesterday, I was but a boy, gazing out of my bedroom window gazing at a road that weaved its way to a future most unknown. Today, I am older and no less astonished at the possibilities that life offers freely as I travel new roads in this happy journey. Was it all a waste, all the missteps, all the pain, all of the experiences? No, it was my life and regrets serve nothing as I look for the beginning of another new day.
What did I learn; move away from despair and grasp the hope of tomorrow. There is time to live, if one truly wants its gifts.
Abstinent vs Recoering
Abstinent and recovering. These two words appear to have the same meaning but they differ substantially when looked at over a long period of time. Abstinence may measure the same as recovery in a urine sample or blood test but the intention, expectations and the long-term durability of the two paths to “legally defined sobriety” are qualitatively quit different.
The abstinent addict is looking for a quick-fix for their problem where the person living in recovery seeks, desires and expects to find a new way of living without the need for any substances (crutches) in their lives. Abstinence may cure back problems (getting your license back, job back, family back) but it does not address the underlying causes of needing a mind-altering substance in the first place. A person seeking true recovery recognizes the truth about themselves, that is, that there was some kind of problem that existed prior to seeking out drugs or alcohol initially.
For the person who was uncomfortable in their own skin to start with, not drinking or drugging does not treat their bigger malady (anxiety, frustration, guilt or despair). The individual who is merely abstinent must go on to face these obstacles long after obtaining their short term goals or getting their stuff back.
There are a series of “simple to grasp” slogans used within recovery groups designed to get the newcomer through the next day/week/month or whatever short-term goal that particular program has. In all fairness to any counselor/teacher/sponsor these psychological tricks and tips are essential in the first few months of any kind of recovery and there is no practical way around them. The danger for the person in recovery comes when they continue to rely on these “band-aids” permanently and fail to heal the wound.
The limitations and weaknesses of abstinence typically do not show up until sometime later-on in the recovery process, when the now sober mind starts to realize that only a few things get better while most “life challenges” go on. They begin to recognize that most of the slogans they heard were simply not true or were gross exaggerations. One such slogan is; “just don’t drink, go to meetings and life will get better”. Your parole officer might think your life is better but he is looking at the situation from the perspective of a baby-sitter who is responsible for cleaning up your mess. The reality is that if you can’t sleep at night because of worries and fears, your life may in fact get worse and the 4 horseman of the Apocalypse may even move in with you. Peace of mind is a precious commodity to the soul living a sober life. Drugs and alcohol may have been a “rock” comfort-wise, but life without them may prove to be the “hard place” for the person who was caught in the middle and must now choose one side or the other. Now where does he or she find refuge?
A person taught to say the serenity prayer in his or her treatment program is in a better position than someone not familiar with the importance of peace of mind. Serenity is the deluxe edition of sobriety, which includes peace of mind, acceptance and a starting point for meditation. Without serenity, sobriety may not be worth having. True sobriety rides on the coat-tails of serenity. The next time you canÂ’t sleep at night try asking yourself if sobriety is of any help in this particular situation.
Where humility has teaching power, serenity has healing power. That is the power to instill peace of mind. Just because someone was powerless over their drinking or drugging does not mean they have to be powerless over their recovery.
The abstinent addict is looking for a quick-fix for their problem where the person living in recovery seeks, desires and expects to find a new way of living without the need for any substances (crutches) in their lives. Abstinence may cure back problems (getting your license back, job back, family back) but it does not address the underlying causes of needing a mind-altering substance in the first place. A person seeking true recovery recognizes the truth about themselves, that is, that there was some kind of problem that existed prior to seeking out drugs or alcohol initially.
For the person who was uncomfortable in their own skin to start with, not drinking or drugging does not treat their bigger malady (anxiety, frustration, guilt or despair). The individual who is merely abstinent must go on to face these obstacles long after obtaining their short term goals or getting their stuff back.
There are a series of “simple to grasp” slogans used within recovery groups designed to get the newcomer through the next day/week/month or whatever short-term goal that particular program has. In all fairness to any counselor/teacher/sponsor these psychological tricks and tips are essential in the first few months of any kind of recovery and there is no practical way around them. The danger for the person in recovery comes when they continue to rely on these “band-aids” permanently and fail to heal the wound.
The limitations and weaknesses of abstinence typically do not show up until sometime later-on in the recovery process, when the now sober mind starts to realize that only a few things get better while most “life challenges” go on. They begin to recognize that most of the slogans they heard were simply not true or were gross exaggerations. One such slogan is; “just don’t drink, go to meetings and life will get better”. Your parole officer might think your life is better but he is looking at the situation from the perspective of a baby-sitter who is responsible for cleaning up your mess. The reality is that if you can’t sleep at night because of worries and fears, your life may in fact get worse and the 4 horseman of the Apocalypse may even move in with you. Peace of mind is a precious commodity to the soul living a sober life. Drugs and alcohol may have been a “rock” comfort-wise, but life without them may prove to be the “hard place” for the person who was caught in the middle and must now choose one side or the other. Now where does he or she find refuge?
A person taught to say the serenity prayer in his or her treatment program is in a better position than someone not familiar with the importance of peace of mind. Serenity is the deluxe edition of sobriety, which includes peace of mind, acceptance and a starting point for meditation. Without serenity, sobriety may not be worth having. True sobriety rides on the coat-tails of serenity. The next time you canÂ’t sleep at night try asking yourself if sobriety is of any help in this particular situation.
Where humility has teaching power, serenity has healing power. That is the power to instill peace of mind. Just because someone was powerless over their drinking or drugging does not mean they have to be powerless over their recovery.
~Sara~
I met Sara in my 3rd year of college. It was in January of 1985. I can remember that day we met, I was on crutches because I had turned my ankle and sprained it. She offered to carry my books to my car. How sweet!! From that day on, we became the best of friends.
We used to cruise around in my orange VW bug to all the college parties. We would do meth together on the weekends, and return to school on Monday a bit hung over, and start all over again the following weekend.
Sara was one of the sweetest people I knew. She still lived at home and her parents were both professionals and really nice. Her mom was the head of the sociology dept and Dad was the head libarian of San Diego City Libaries.
They always had the yummiest food at their house and a pool!!
We pretty much became addicts together. We started using every day and our lives both were taking a tumble. But there were still fun times that we had. I can remember we always could find one another in town. We ran into each other all the time w/ our boyfriends and would laugh saying we had our attennas up once again! We could hone in on each other!!
I became pregnant in 1988. Sara was there and supportive when I decided to have the baby. I got clean and saw less and less of her for a while.
Then I had the baby and became a Christian, but slipped back into use. I went to her house one day and a mutual friend of ours was teaching her how to shoot up. I watched, but didn't follow suit.
I got clean and entered rehab. Sara didn't.....her life kept spinning out of control until she became a prostitute. I was always there for her when she called.
In 1992 she became pregnant and wanted to abort. I prayed for her and told her to keep it. I got my whole church to pray for her and even against her parents wishes she kept the baby. I had a baby shower for her. Her baby girl was so beautiful! I was there at the birth! I wasn't going anywhere!
Sara got clean for a while. I can remember giving her her 30 day key tag. I cried. Then she relapsed. Her mom and dad got custody of her daughter who was then 3 at the time. I was relieved.
Over the next several years Sara attempted to take her life. She tried jumping from over passes, cut her wrists, was arrested for prostitution, went to jail more times than I can count. I kept loving her when she called, praying w/ and for her, and picking her up when she needed me.
I cannot remember the last time I saw Sara. I remember going home to San Diego in 2005 and she wanted to meet my 3 year old. I just didn't feel comfortable going over to her house because I didn't want my son around the drugs.
I got the call from her mom, the dreaded call on July 27, 2005, Sara had died of an overdose. She was gone forever. I had spoken to her earlier in the week by phone. I can remember she called and I was busy and told her I would call her back. I am so grateful I did call her back, even though I hated to talk with her when she was high. That was the last time I ever spoke with her.
I miss you Sara. Wish I could see you just one more time. Give you a hug and take you to an NA meeting.
I love you forever!
Your friend Sheila
Sara Ann S. Sept. 17, 1967~ July 27, 2005
Her daughter is a healthy teenager who is still living w/ Sara's folks. She is a friend of mine on my myspace. Her grandparents love her so much. She looks so much like Sara.
We used to cruise around in my orange VW bug to all the college parties. We would do meth together on the weekends, and return to school on Monday a bit hung over, and start all over again the following weekend.
Sara was one of the sweetest people I knew. She still lived at home and her parents were both professionals and really nice. Her mom was the head of the sociology dept and Dad was the head libarian of San Diego City Libaries.
They always had the yummiest food at their house and a pool!!
We pretty much became addicts together. We started using every day and our lives both were taking a tumble. But there were still fun times that we had. I can remember we always could find one another in town. We ran into each other all the time w/ our boyfriends and would laugh saying we had our attennas up once again! We could hone in on each other!!
I became pregnant in 1988. Sara was there and supportive when I decided to have the baby. I got clean and saw less and less of her for a while.
Then I had the baby and became a Christian, but slipped back into use. I went to her house one day and a mutual friend of ours was teaching her how to shoot up. I watched, but didn't follow suit.
I got clean and entered rehab. Sara didn't.....her life kept spinning out of control until she became a prostitute. I was always there for her when she called.
In 1992 she became pregnant and wanted to abort. I prayed for her and told her to keep it. I got my whole church to pray for her and even against her parents wishes she kept the baby. I had a baby shower for her. Her baby girl was so beautiful! I was there at the birth! I wasn't going anywhere!
Sara got clean for a while. I can remember giving her her 30 day key tag. I cried. Then she relapsed. Her mom and dad got custody of her daughter who was then 3 at the time. I was relieved.
Over the next several years Sara attempted to take her life. She tried jumping from over passes, cut her wrists, was arrested for prostitution, went to jail more times than I can count. I kept loving her when she called, praying w/ and for her, and picking her up when she needed me.
I cannot remember the last time I saw Sara. I remember going home to San Diego in 2005 and she wanted to meet my 3 year old. I just didn't feel comfortable going over to her house because I didn't want my son around the drugs.
I got the call from her mom, the dreaded call on July 27, 2005, Sara had died of an overdose. She was gone forever. I had spoken to her earlier in the week by phone. I can remember she called and I was busy and told her I would call her back. I am so grateful I did call her back, even though I hated to talk with her when she was high. That was the last time I ever spoke with her.
I miss you Sara. Wish I could see you just one more time. Give you a hug and take you to an NA meeting.
I love you forever!
Your friend Sheila
Sara Ann S. Sept. 17, 1967~ July 27, 2005
Her daughter is a healthy teenager who is still living w/ Sara's folks. She is a friend of mine on my myspace. Her grandparents love her so much. She looks so much like Sara.
