Drug Rehab Options Blog

Hi guys, I know I am only new here (today), but I am starting to stuggle, and have no support, well I do, I have my wonderfull husband and my oldest daughter who is 19, but I can beat them with all sorts of excuses and good intentions, I never lie, but they fall for any reason I give then about being in controll or that it is better for me to have another drink.

I am cutting down on my intake because I don't want to detox in a center again because it is so far from my husband and children and if I go back they will keep me there for 3-4 months and we can't afford for my family to travel & visit me, my children are my life, and I quit rehab last time because I couldn't see them, and I ended up severely depressed.

Also they put me on drugs to stop seizures, which are some of the same I had a 12 year addiction to (I have been clean from them for 12 years now) and I like thm too much, they scare the bejebers out of me, so I need to do it this way.

I used to drink 3ltres of wine per day 14% and had to detox in a center because of seizures, now I am down to 10 cans per day of beers at 4%, I need to knock off 2 cans per day now, to get to a point where I can safely detox at home, but now I am struggling.

I am scared, and the more scared I get, the more I want a drink, it sux big time and I feel like I am close to losing it and going backward.

I guess I am asking for some tips/tricks/hints on keeping on reducing my intake so I can stop in a few days time.

Any help would be so appreciated, thankyou guys.

Hi everybody!

Well, I'm 23 and have probs with a bit of everything. If its not drinking its drugs if its not drugs its cutting and if its prescription meds. I know I use alcohol and drugs to forget, but I want to enjoy things without them... seems impossible...
My fiance is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict as well, he lost his job by showing up drunk to work, and usually goes a month sober before crashing and burning again. It hurts so much when this happens... but I try to support him... He has to go to court tomorrow for his 2 DUI's... It scares me so much that he drinks and drives, not only for him, but for all the innocent people on the road.
I see myself going in a circle, moving my addictions from 1 thing to another... and I see my life spiraling out of control. I go to meetings, but I'm so scared of big groups (causes panic attacks) that I have trouble focusing.
I'm stuck here and I am so disappointed in myself because not only do I have a problem, but I can't seem to help myself. I just feel like I'm not in control of my life anymore.... Hopefully I will get over my fear in time and will stop rolodexing my addictions... only 4 days sober so far and cravings are really bothering me argh!!

but if this is ok - may I ask, is it common for there to be issues?
Like obsessively interested and then not at all interested?
The need for Viagra, as the equipment never works for more than a moment....
Or am I just in a relationship with somone with other problems?
And this is drunk or sober.
I am hurt and confused. One year later and he still blames fake illnesses and mysterious aches and pains that did not exist prior to my bringing up the subject.
Is this normal? What is normal? I no longer know, but it is darned hurtful at the very least. Men, some input? Women, am I alone on this? What is the reason, and why?
Suggestions short of giving up on someone I love? (Yes he is drinking...I think he is cutting down to try to break off it again. Been to rehab unsuccessfully but won't agree to give up on quitting....makes my life hell.) So is he selfish, or covering up the affects of his disease?
Viagra is due to the side effects?
Anyone, I appreciate your help.

HB:wtf2:c004:

the past two weekends have been right up there as the most difficult in my 10-year marriage/12-year relationship with my AH. i am on the brink of leaving, and i wanted to share what happened and what i am thinking about/doing to see if ya'll have any words of wisdom.

very briefy, AH's behavior while drinking has become more unpredictable and erratic, ranging from calling a real estate agent unbeknownst to me (the house is in his name only) to trying to shoot a limb off a tree he had cut that was hung up in another tree (a sheriff's deputy happened by and suggested that firing a shotgun in the town limits might not be such a great idea). last weekend he fell out of his truck (the passenger side, thank goodness), badly cutting his head and perhaps cracking some ribs. he also has been making vulgar and debasing sexual remarks (one of my boundaries is no sex if he's drinking). on sunday he was in a state of "f... the world/i don't care about anything/i'm not going to change/you deserve better than me/find someone who will treat you the way you deserve" (he responded pretty well to my asking if he wanted to get healthy and put down the budweiser but went ballistic when i suggested he get help -- i very rarely mention his drinking and don't think i have ever suggested he get help). this is just the very condensed version of what's been going on.

i feel like he is pushing me to leave so that i am then the one held to blame (he has huge self-esteem problems and very strong feelings of "i am not worthy of you," as well as a great suspicion of women/relationships in general, so i can clearly see him pushing to the point of leaving and then saying, "see, i told you it wouldn't work. all women are bad" or something to that effect) but not that he really wants me to.

i also fear he has reached or is reaching a crisis state, and while i am not afraid for my physical safety, i believe my emotional well-being is reaching a crisis state as well.

at any rate, i have or plan to do this:

i made an appointment with a counselor (for me; there's no way he would ever go) to discuss at what point love, compassion, tolerance and forgiveness are superseded by self-preservation

i am going to try an al-anon meeting tomorrow for the first time if i can work up the nerve

i have asked an attorney about my rights regarding the house (AH was mortified to discover that the real estate agent had actually shown up, saying "that was a little over the top"). i also am going to find out what happens if i leave (i know that in some cases abandoning the home is not looked upon favorably, but i want to find out if that is the case under these circumstances)

i have talked to my dad, who knows my AH well, has seen some of what goes on, and whom i think will be able to give me some financial support if i need to leave

i have been looking online at some rentals to see what's out there

this is the closest i have ever been to leaving (have moved beyond thinking about it to actually doing some of these things)

thoughts? can i stay under these conditions or do i need to get the heck out now? is there an option "c" under which things get better, or is that just wishful thinking?

thanks to all of you for all you do for people like me ..

Welcome to my new life and it is great! I still have a million things to do but all in good time. I have to go to the house this weekend as my landlord called and said that he told her I only took what I wanted and left the rest for him to deal with>>>coughing sounds like bullsh88t<<< So I think I am just going to donate the big stuff like the washer and dryer to someone who needs them since I don't have a place here. Hell you can always replace material stuff, you can't replace piece of mind.

It took three days to get everything together but thank God for the holiday weekend. It was not easy although I was so lucky to have such great people helping me. One of the people barely knows me and I was worried that he would get in trouble with his wife as she is out of state but his wife told him to tell me she would have been more upset if he hadn't helped and he will be back again this weekend to help some more.

It has not been the greatest thing I have ever done, I waited as long as I could to transfer the utilities over to the new place, everything was in my name and the long weekend gave him some grace time but I felt bad that electric and cable was cut off yesterday=I don't know if he is still there or not. I am cutting off the water tonight after I do this. He was a complete ass and stone drunk Saturday. He said horrible things about me in front of my friends but they did great in not rising to the bait.

Tuesday and Wednesday had thier moments. I stopped a place to run an errand that when we were together was our "date night" I ran into a friend of his who told me that the reason he let xah go was because of the drinking. xah always made it sound the other way around. My car was about to poop out so I told him I had to go. Yesterday my daughter and I talked about how she tried to tell him on Sat. that she would miss him. His response was "shut up you fat bitch".

Still, I pity him. He is dying but he doesn't know it. His liver is shot and he reaks of it. I have a nursing background, enough to know the smell of death. He carries it with him like a badge of honor. He will drink himself into an early grave, of that I am sure.

I did everything I could and loved him with all that I had. It was time to let go. Of that I am even more sure.

This is an actual conversation between my 7yo daughter and me, her 56 yo dad this past week. For those of you who don't
'know" us, her mom is an active A and we've been divorced 18 mths and I have been blessed with sole custody. Oh and she is an only child.

Out of the blue while driving around doing errands:

DD (very seriously): Dad, I want a sister.

Me (thoughtfully): Well you never know what God has in store for us, maybe He'll send us a nice lady with a daughter around your age, like what happened with your mom when she was a little kid.

DD (seriously again): No dad, I want a BABY sister.

Me : Gee, sorry, but I'm afraid I'm too old now to be having any more babies.

DD (Gleefully): Maybe He'll send us one that's already pregnant!

Me (dryly) : Yes that would be splendid! :c029:

You can't make this kind of stuff up. :a194:

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

-from The Terma Collective

Shalom!