Drug Rehab Options Blog

Today like all others I sit thinking of my boy. Crying and hoping and praying and wishing things were different. Why did this whole thing happen. I have to get a grip I can't spend my life crying about this it is not going to change things. I keep telling my self this grief will get better well today it was worse don't know why just was. I forgot to take my medication that was it and it must be helping since I have been on it the crying is not so bad except for today. Here I am forgetting to take a pill and all my son could think about was taking some. How different were we I know I had this child so he had to have some of me in him. I never drank didn't take anything the doctor didn't order for me. I am not a thief I do tell a white lie now and again not to hurt someones feelings. I never went to jail where did my boy get this from.
He was happy never wanted for anything. Had friends, many girlfriends,(to many if you ask me) they all loved him he always made them laugh and had fun with them. He and I would watch tv together we would laugh until we cried. Jason did have a very soft heart he would cry when we went to see his dad when he was so sick in the hospital. When his dad got home would help me with him. Up to the time of his (Jason) death he would call his dad just to see how he was.
Last night I was up late husband and grandson in bed. I was watching TV. I have a chime clock. at 10 to 12 Midnight that clock went crazy just chiming and chiming about 20 times then the clocked stopped I had it open it up and get it started again. I am sure it was Jason way of telling me stop crying for me mum I love you.
Maggiemac:praying

About a month ago, my stepmom was locked up for trying to get a fraudulent prescription filled, and was getting lortabs from a friend, in addition to the ones she got by prescription.

My dad was forced out of his denial of her addiction, and she was begging me to help her with this problem.

Now, a month later, I am ready to wring both their necks.

Dad took her to the dr. yesterday. When I got up, and was getting ready for work, I asked him what she got. He just said "the same stuff she always gets..pain pills". He had no clue as to how many, and snapped at me "how would I know? What difference would it make, when she's in pain all the time?"

She got out of bed, (this is at 3pm) and he asked her how many pills she got. She got 90 lortab 10 mg, to take one, 3 times a day. I said "so, in a week, you should be down 21 pills". She snaps "it doesn't MATTER how many I've taken in a week".

Dad tells me she's been doing better and that jail scared her and since she has a prescription, she knows if she runs out she can't get any more until it's been a month. I ask if she's had any pills since she was arrested, and can't get a straight answer. She's ALWAYS had a prescription, ran out, which is why she got them elsewhere.

Honestly, stepmom doesn't have a lot of options to get pills elsewhere, as dad has control of the finances, and she can't just leave the house without someone knowing.

My question is, am I overreacting? I see red flags everywhere, but they act like I'm the meanie, and trying to stir up trouble. I did tell dad, that if she got to where she was passing out again, or did anything stupid, he'd better not DARE to say "why didn't you tell me" again.

I'm trying my best to let this go. When I was leaving the house, I told her I wasn't trying to be mean, I was just concerned. She said "I know, I just don't want my nerves to get bad", which is another excuse for her to get numb. MY nerves were pretty frazzled, and I wanted to just escape, but I went to work.

I tried prayer, said "let go and let God" a zillion times, turned the radio up loud so I couldn't hear my own thoughts. Finally got distracted at work, when we had a lot of customers with adorable kids. It just irritates the crap out of me, that I let this stuff get to me.

I feel better now, but then I knew I would, as soon as I could get to my SR:)

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

posted also in the Narcotics 12 step forumLast night I was at a meeting and my hubby called. It was my dad....he slipped away into eternity while watching the Viking game with my mom.... tomorrow I will fly back to San Diego to help my mom.

Please pray I make wise choices and and super vigilant about my recovery!!!!! I really thought I was going to skate into my year of clean time 1/20/09 easily. This will not be easy. I want to come home and give you guys all a good report. I do not even have my laptop, as it is in the shop.....

My Dad Howard was not ill, I had an awesome 2 weeks w/ he and my Mom....I still cannot believe he is gone....he was just 75 and may have had a stroke or thrown a clot into his lung. He was not in pain, only winded my mom said.....then he closed his eyes and was gone.

I loved him so much. He helped form my silly personality, always a jokester he was.....he was kind and a God fearing man. He did an awesome job as a Dad and a husband. He worked at Rohr Industries for 45 years as a tool and die worker. He and my mom were married for 52 yrs. He loved Jesus and the verse I have in my avator is the verse he read as a boy and received Christ as he Savior.

Thanks guys. Sheila

I love you and miss you Daddy and will see you in a little while....love Sam

(he always called me Sam cuz he wanted to name me Samatha and my mom named me Sheila) lol

Howard E. G. 8/29/33-1/4/09

Last night I was at a meeting and my hubby called. It was my dad....he slipped away into eternity while watching the Viking game with my mom.... tomorrow I will fly back to San Diego to help my mom.

Please pray I make wise choices and and super vigilant about my recovery!!!!! I really thought I was going to skate into my year of clean time 1/20/09 easily. This will not be easy. I want to come home and give you guys all a good report. I do not even have my laptop, as it is in the shop.....

My Dad Howard was not ill, I had an awesome 2 weeks w/ he and my Mom....I still cannot believe he is gone....he was just 75 and may have had a stroke or thrown a clot into his lung. He was not in pain, only winded my mom said.....then he closed his eyes and was gone.

I loved him so much. He helped form my silly personality, always a jokester he was.....he was kind and a God fearing man. He did an awesome job as a Dad and a husband. He worked at Rohr Industries for 45 years as a tool and die worker. He and my mom were married for 52 yrs.

Thanks guys. Sheila

I love you and miss you Daddy and will see you in a little while....love Sam

(he always called me Sam cuz he wanted to name me Samatha and my mom named me Sheila) lol

Howard E. G. 8/29/33-1/4/09

As many of you know this has been a tough 10 months for me. I have had alot of troubling family problems.
Well this year is starting off on a much better note. Rebecca4 introduced me to facebook and it was there that I found my half brother who I've been looking for several years.
I cannot tell you how happy this makes me. He is 6 years older than me and we were close as kids and young adults. Our dad passed away in 1991 and I havn't seen Hal since. There were alot of hard feelings after the reading of the will.
Take my advise - money isn't that important in the long run - however family is.

Thank You Rebecca,
Love,
Suzette

Day 22 was when I slipped up after my first attempt. It's Day 22 again and I really want to drink. Not have a drink... I want to drink. I know you know what I mean.

My mind has been all over the place today. I knew today would be tricky because it's the end of the holiday season, my daughter's at her dad's house, I have the house to myself, etc. I just want to get out of my head. I honestly don't even know what I'm wanting to run away from, but I am on full tilt here.

This evening is going to be minute by minute. Knock some sense back into me. I am making all these excuses for why it would be ok to drink just tonight. At least I don't have any in the house, so as long as I can stay parked on the couch I'll be ok. But there's a store just a half mile away... HELP!

Well, I joined this group yesterday in hopes of getting some understanding of what is happening in our family. My freshman in college came home from college for Christmas break and after a week we found coke and xanax in her bag (we also found a handle of vodka after she left). We confronted her, and at first she shrugged it off, but 5 minutes into the conversation she broke down and told us she needed help. She knew she had a problem as she even gave me a name of a treatment center she would like to go to. When our conversation ended I called the center, they had an opening and instructed us to act quickly. I stayed up all night researching treatment centers to see if this one would be the right fit for her. We decided to send her where she wanted to go. She spent 6 nights in detox before she was moved to the treatment center. She has been in treatment since December 23rd. I know we did the right thing...but here is where the family is torn. How do we know if she is actually and addict/ alcoholic or if she is a kid who just spiraled out of control during her first semester away at college? My other daughter wants her to come live with her at her college (she is a grad student) but she is under the impression that she will be able to drink again...she just neds to know her limits. I know she feels this way because her dad and I have not felt she is an addict/alcoholic, just a kid that is self medicating because we have felt she has some underlying psych problems. I know that anyone that goes into trmt is lead to believe they are an addict, but I know people that were in trmt for drugs that are able to socially drink. I am just so concerned wht we will do once she finishes treament. We plan on sending her to a sober house...but her future scares me to death. Unfortunately 18 yr olds seem to focus on drugs and drinking for their social life. Thanks for listening. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I have been sponsoring a guy for the first time, he is only a couple years younger than me, but is already very progressed alcoholic. He has struggled hard with crystal meth, narcotics, and chronic drinking. I mean, drinking Listerine when he runs out of booze, getting into blackouts every time... He recently relapsed and was on a a 3 day bender, culminating in him getting arrested last night for stealing booze at a booze store (which he doesn't remember), and being released today. To top it all off, he has very enabling parents who refuse to kick him out of the house, and a girlfriend who I see as a classic enabler (her dad was an alcoholic, her sister married an alcoholic...) and is supporting him by not leaving him despite his relapses (not to mention that she is trying to stay sober herself using the "marijuana maintenance" program).

He says he wants to do what he is told. IE, go to as many meetings as possible, read his books, do the steps, etc. ...but I think he is just going to relapse again. He has been in long term treatment, short term treatment, taken the religious route etc. but I suspect that as long as his parents and this girl are taking care of him, he will continue until he is in jail permanently.

I am considering just telling him that I can't sponsor him, and he needs to talk to an old timer who has the teeth to let him have it. I have my own problems and don't think I have the years of experience needed to sponsor someone like this. I am thinking that if he relapses again after this I will just tell him to get a new sponsor because I can't be close to someone who is not doing what they are supposed to. For my own sanity and spiritual safety, I can't be close to anyone who isn't doing things 100% because I am still in the shaky years of my sobriety.

Any advice?

My father passed this morning. I'm at peace with the fact that he is much better off now than he was his last weeks here on earth. Still, he was a wonderful role model and I'll miss him terribly. I've wondered often about how I became so co-dependent. Neither of my parents were alcoholics.....wouldn't even allow alcohol in our home. My dad probably had some addictive tendancies toward food, but I never gave it much thought growing up.

My mom, whose father was an alcoholic, has shown her co-dependency in full force. She has been controlling everything right down to when we are allowed to cry! I showed up at the Hospice this morning, after sobbing all the way, and she promptly instructed me to stop crying, because there just wasn't anything to be sad about. I've come a pretty long way in my recovery over the past few months and feeling ANYTHING is a huge step for me. I was numb for so long. It's hard to watch her, now that I really know what's going on. But I'll continue to cry when I need to, laugh when I feel like it, and know that every day I'm getting a little healthier.

Next step.....dealing with AH. I'm sure that in the next few weeks, when all the dust settles, I'll be needing more advice and support in moving forward with that situation. For now I've got more than enough on my plate. Thank you to each of you who have given me love and encouragement to get through this trying time.

Hi everybody! I've thought about you all often and it's good to know that this awesome forum is still going and offering help/advice/support to those that need it.

When I first came on here in 2004, it was my xabf and a year of turmoil there. But, through Al Anon and all of you, that relationship ended a long time ago.

It's my son who will be 30yrs old this year...that has the drinking addiction. He got two DUI's back-to-back in 2007 and needed a lawyer. The laws have gotten alot stricter here in CO, as they should be.

I retained a lawyer for him and my as (alcoholic son) just did in house arrest for the month of Dec. for the one DUI and now he's in jail today for a bit for the 2nd one.

The whole time he was on house arrest, he was still drinking. I'd go visit him and see him on the holidays and he was still using. So, house arrest didn't do much for him because he was still "running' while on it.

In jail, he'll have to be sober and also his PO will be taking random breathilizers and putting a device on his vehicle to blow into before driving.

He has HUNDREDS of community service, fines and classes. He has no job, he's gotten fired from each one. He's homeless because everywhere he lived, he didn't pay rent.

On house arrest, he stayed with his Dad and during that time stold his Dad's credit cards and booked flights for his gf's and other things...ran up thousands of $ on his dad's cards. It just seems like his addiction is getting worse and worse, he lies constantly. He's very sensitive to talk to...if one thing is said that he doesn't like...he jumps on you verbally.

He's just filled with pain...his uncle/best friend, died of a cocaine accidental overdose on Christmas 2005 and my son knew his uncle did some drugs, but not to the extent that he was. My AS was the last person with his uncle the night before he died and so my AS has been feeling guilty ever since. He constantly runs and needs people's acceptance.

My fear is for when he gets out of jail....where will he go? What will he do? Will he finally see after years and years of drinking that it's JUST NOT WORTH IT?

I'm scared for him because of the fact that he continues to keep the cycle going.

I ask for your prayers for him...this is gonna take alot to get him to FINALLY hit that bottom and want back up.

Thank you and I hope all of your holidays were blessed!:praying