Drug Rehab Options Blog

My son died on Sep 4, 2008 from a heroin overdose. For the past couple of years he had been taking percocets and drinking a lot of alcohol. He was a heroin user 9 years ago, then managed to get clean and stayed clean all that time. I was so proud of him because I knew it was a daily struggle for him.

Since his death I have been anguishing and agonizing over why he chose to use heroin again after 9 years. Was it because the percocets weren't working anymore? That is, had he built up such a tolerance to them that he needed something stronger? I don't know how many percs he was taking on a daily basis. These questions keep haunting me. If anyone can give me some kind of answer, I would be forever grateful.

Katy

Hello everyone. My name is Cory and I'm an addict. This is my post time posting and it seems like an interesting site. Hope to get involved. Anyhow, I'm excited to get my first ever 90 day key tag tomorrow at the local NA meeting. This will be the first time I've had 90 days clean since I was 14 and I'm 34 now. I live in Delaware and I've been in and out of the rooms since I was 19, but now I feel like I'm actually ready in my gut. I've been doing more than 90 in 90, I joined a homegroup and have a commitment. I have a sponsor and use him on a daily basis. Mainly, I follow the suggestions. It is an absolutely miracle that I have 89 days right now. If you're new, you can get 30,60,90, and more days clean by simply going to meetings and following suggestions.

Thanks,

Cory:bday6

I'm new here and I have been trying to work the twelve steps Al-Anon and I don't relate to it very well. NA I seem to understand better although I deal with both on a daily basis. I have everything I need for AA , I need books and workbooks for naranon if there are any that can help me get control of my life.:Xmaskstar

I am so lucky to be alive.

First time I used I was nine years old, sniffing glue. By the time I was 13 I was smoking hash and using Amphetamnies on a daily basis. At sixteen years old I was gone, I was using opiates and anything I laid my hands on. I died many times and came to in Hospitals between the ages of 16 and 25, spent 4 years in prison, was commited a few times and still carried on using. I stopped in 76, I was 25 years old and stayed drug free for 20 years and then relasped using Alcohol, and did it all again for another 11 years!

Today I am free from all of that and I live my life as best I can on a daily basis. I have many trials and tribulations but they are nothing compared to the hell I lived in for so long.

Thank you all for being here. Stay safe over this holiday period.

I love you and so does your Higher Power.

Kevin

Hey folks,

It has been a interesting few years . . .

This forum helped me to be sober for about a year. Some minor medical problems made it easy to relapse. This year I had surgery and dental work. I've been taking low doses of hydro on a daily basis even without the need --just to avoid the WDs and maybe even life in general . . .

My dosage isn't huge (about 10 mg/day) but it is an addiction nonetheless. I'm not tempted to boost the dosage, but the meds aren't doing much.

I've been incredibly busy with a new venture, and also embarrassed to post because of my relapse and continued use. I pop in every now and then to check on folks. This really is an incredible, caring bunch.

In my opinion, it's impossible to grow emotionally and spiritually while on opioids. I'm in my early 50's and I don't have an unlimited amount of time on this earth to straighten out.

So yesterday I took 2.5 mgs. and today nothing.

Today is the winter solstice. It marks the darkest day and the longest night of the year. Every day from now will be filled with more light, as I hope that I shall be.

I went by the drug store to pick up some Immodium and Emergen-C for the inevitable G.I. distress that is sure to follow. Right now I'm pretty calm and serene . . . let's see how days 2-10 pan out.

I'd like to thank everyone for letting me be a part of the journey.

Buzz

We buried one of our own yesterday. She could not get and stay sober. Monday night, she drank into oblivion, and left the planet. She was 41 years old. She left behind a huge family, children and grandchildren. And a large family in AA. Her sponsor gave part of the eulogy. She had worked with her for 4 years, and just couldn't get it. Her mother, who is 30 years sober in the program, gave the rest of the eulogy. What a powerful service. This is a killer illness. Some of us are able to completely surrender and abandon ourselves to the program. There are some who are not. For whatever reason, there is a reservation of some kind. A rebellion perhaps. Or perhaps a complete surrender and abandon to the illness itself. One that allows us to be consumed by the malady. In any event, it seems to be the ultimate example and consequence of self will. I will never get used to burying other alcoholics. And know that without doing the things I do on a daily basis, they will bury me. I have few real hard set goals in life, but one is to die sober. This has been a sad week. But the truth of the matter is this..... she won't be the last. Within the next year or so, we'll bury another. Maybe sooner, maybe later, but it is inevitable. It is the nature of this illness.

I have a problem with pain meds and was curious on the best way to cut down or quit.The problem is that i deal with a lot of pain on a daily basis and they help,but i don't like the fact that i have to take so many because my body is so used to them that they don't do much of anything for the pain anymore.

I started drinking at the ripe young age of 9 or 10 years old,i cannot really remember when exactly but i remember loving it and even being aware that there were people in my family most of us actually who already had a problem with alcohol so i remember making a concious decision to grow up and become an alcoholic,i thought it would make me cool. like most other folks in alcoholics anonymous,i was never comfortable in my own skin and always wanted nothing more than to be accepted. i even went so far as to get a little bit older and become a gang member,thats how much i needed acceptance from my fellows. alcohol among many other things allowed me to wear someone elses skin other than my own,i had developed a strong social coping mechanism, and i was not prepared to throw it away anytime soon. little did i know that alcohol and other things would rob me of everything i held near and dear to my heart, and as time went on my family wanted no part of me, i had lost countless jobs, good friends who cared about me and even a place to rest my head at night oh and it got even worse, i lost my freedom on several occasions. then i found alcoholics anonymous after a few trips behind bars and a whole lot of suffering. i went to countless rehabilitation centers and i finally realized that i did not want to go on to the bitter ends, more jails and institutions and even death. since i have been sober (06/29/2007), i have gone to quite a few funerals already and god willing i wasnt the one taking a dirt nap. my life today is better than it has ever been and i thank god on a daily basis for that. today i have good friends and my family back in my life. i even have a wonderful woman in my life and a couple part time jobs. i am also going to school to become an alcohol and drug counselor. what more could a seemingly hopeless alcoholic ask for? God, thank you for alcoholics anonymous!!!:praying

I sit here on Thanksgiving Day, thinking of all the things in my life that I am truly thankful for. First and foremost of course I am thankful that I have my son, he is my heart. Another thing that I am very thankful for right now is that I saw the light, and was finally almost two months ago able to get out of my abusive relationship with my crackhead addict ex b/f. When I first started posting on this forum I was looking for secret cures, for yall to tell me a shortcut way to "make him better." But in reality this site helped me realize things that I was trying to deny..like the fact that he was abusing me, forcing me to have sex when I didn't want to, tried to choke me twice, verbal abuse on a daily basis and much much more. I truly realize now that what they say is so true, that love is blind. When you love someone, you fail to see their faults...and when they are very big ones that put your well being in danger then that is unacceptable. But no matter who tries to tell you what, you will not see it until you are ready. And some people are not ready to say goodbye and move on and admit these things for a long long time. I am just glad that I woke up and saw the light when I did..that I did not allow him to continue to hurt me, and have an impact on my sons future. I'm saying a prayer right now for all of you out there that are battling the same things right now with people that you love. I pray that you will put your kids, and yourself first. YOU MATTER...and just because they will hurt if you leave them doesn't mean you should stay and waste your life away. YOU deserve to be happy. It is up to them to fix their lives, and no matter what you do you cannot fix them. You cannot take their money so they don't spend it, you cannot force them into therapy b/c it will not last, you cannot choose their path...they must make their own decisions...all you can do is help yourself, you get yourself and your kids out of the bad situation...and pray that one day they will find their way. And don't shed a tear as you walk out the door, get your number changed, get a new vehicle, and instruct people at work to call the cops when they come by...well I didn't anyways, and I never will again shed another tear for his sorry a$$...and neither should you. Look at the light...let it guide you.

I guess I’m feeling a little guilty…I broke my sobriety of one week and drank yesterday. I needed to give myself a good scare again. Cross your fingers for me people. I’m crossing my fingers for you, too.

I'm a little stunned right now...

Just finished watching some clips about "Lawrence" from the Intervention series by A&E (even though I don't like the show because I think it exploits the people shown...but that’s for another post…[maybe]…). Thanks to whoever posted the link (crap, now I don’t know where it is…lost it!).

Anywho, it was hard to watch. I decided to do a little math and compare my worst with what they thought he was drinking on a daily basis. I was surprised with the numbers I got. Now, my math may be wrong (it certainly wasn’t my best subject), but I figured that drinking 1.5 liters of booze at 40% is only slightly higher in total alcohol content than 5 liters of wine at 11%. At my worst, I was fluctuating anywhere from 2.5-5 liters of wine a day. Ouch.

I still remember the mess my old apartment was…there were always several empty boxes thrown anywhere and everywhere. I used to laugh about it. And I used to think I was getting a good deal at the grocery store with boxed wine. Hmm…5 liters for 12 bucks American…sort of like going for the “all you can drink” special. I think that if I hadn't moved when I did I’d be dead now. I still have a long way to go towards recovery, but at least I’m not as bad-off as I was.

I know some of you are wondering when I'm finally going to quit. I'm hanging on and not giving up. Just keeping myself honest with this post...and giving sobriety another try TODAY.


Disclaimer: The amount of alcohol consumed by the individual is not always a reliable measuring stick for determining if one has a drinking problem. This post is merely a reflection of my experiences. Please don't think you're safe if you drink less.