Drug Rehab Options Blog

I got picked up tonight for my second dwi. I am at my parents place right now who have graciously given my a place to live....and I have drawn them to the point where they are out of options. My best friend who I have not even spent hardly anytime with in the last year came to pick me up at the jail at 2:20am, and drove me home. He had class at 8am.

I woke up my parents to let me in....and told my dad I will talk to him in the morning about what happened. I am sure I will probably not have a place to live after tomorrow......they have warned me many times to get my **** together and sooner or later it will come down to tough love.

I will be turning in my two weeks notice at my job tomorrow, as with two dwi's and inevitable jail time I have no other choice. My car and health insurance will be canceled. I have no where to go. My OWN choices have (will) cause me to lose the woman who I care about and love more than anything in this entire world, and it turns out her parents were right. I am a loser with nothing to offer such a wonderful intelligent woman. I have really backed myself into a corner with this one.

When I go to court tomorrow to clear up my first DWI, yeah I know, I will head over to the local treatment center and see if and when I can check myself into inpatient treatment. This will not be as easy as it sounds, because the bank of my parents has been shut down. They promised me they will not help me out this time, if it ever happens, and it did. When I turn in my two weeks notice, I will lose my health insurance. Pretty much making paying for treatment impossible. But I have to do it, time to go to treatment for the 4th time. Which is hard, because I went to inpatient at hazelden and left with a toolbox full of recovery tools.

For being 24 years old, alcoholism has literally destroyed my life and everyone who has ever meant anything to me. When I enter treatment I will begin to write a book, a story of my addiction and the hell it has brought me through at such a young age. Any real problems in my life have always been brought on by the "bottle"

My best chance right now is to enter inpatient treatment as soon as possible.... Losing Sara makes me cry, even though I didn't show it the best, she was my everything. Hurting and letting down my Mom and Dad hurts even worse. How will I pay for treatment!? Not to mention the impending jail time....:02:

I know I have not been here in some time, and I have had several bouts of sobriety here and there, but nothing amounting to over one week straight, but never really going a bender for more than a week either.

Happy to be back, I think I need to let everything go, and start again.

My boyfriend of almost 3 years is in recovery. He is/was a marijuana addict as well as a tobacco addict which is still hasn't given up. He has been sober for 1 month at this point. This has been a very difficult time for me as his partner. He has told me that he feels like he's been "a shell of a man" for his entire adult life. Numbing any and all of his feelings with marijuana. Now, it is as if he feels like he has to make up for lost time. Where he used to keep his feelings at bay by smoking pot, he now voices every one that comes into his head. Most of them being negative. And a lot of them, issues he has with me. Suddenly, he no longer loves me like he used to. He told me in the past that he wants to get married to me. He has now communicated that this is no longer the truth. This is all a huge shock for me. I was unaware that him and I had such major relationship problems. I was also unaware of how much and how often he was smoking. I knew he smoked somewhat regularly, but it never really bothered me. Now, it's as if my entire world has been turned upside down. I am happy that he quit but sad in the same respect. He is no longer the sweet, selfless person that I fell in love with. I want to help him and I want to be there for him. He just makes it really hard. He has so much anger now. We are seeing a therapist together. She tells me that I am supposed to try and not take the things he says to me personally. I really don't know how to do that. I am miserable. Can anyone offer me some words of advice. I am new to this forum.

Thanks,
Lindsay

I'm lost

I couldn’t give a sh*t about the time I have….I'm close to 60 days....the cheers……the day by day crap.

What happens when you just feel overwhelmed?Seriously?What do you do when everything around you falls apart and no matter what you do ‘right’?(you know-do the next right thing etc) doesn’t work and you’re here-staring at your life-sober and wondering WTF you’re going to do because every other option says –just drink it away?You can’t handle real life?

I want to be better than this.I thought I was.I am so close to 60 days sober for the first time in a long time and I feel nothing but lost…WTF?

These past 3 weeks?I could’ve given in every day.I had ‘reasons/excuses’-LOL.The ones I pull other people here up on.I had huge financial worries, my son was driving me mad, my husband was sick and needy and my parents are ailing-in and out of hospital and I’m the person everyone turns to and I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE.I just can’t.

I am desperately hanging on to my sobriety because if I don’t? My entire world will fall apart but I’m wondering now if I’m doing it for all the wrong reasons? Am I just trying to keep the previous staus quo but I just happen to be sober now and feel it more deeply?

I have great support-I’m not isolating and I have people who really do support me in being sober.But I feel like I’ve missed some important piece of the puzzle and I don’t know what it is….

I started going to yoga classes recently and it really helped me feel better in my mind and body.But I’m just overwhelmed by my life lately-too much stress and worry and I’m not handling it well.

Maybe….prickly me?I just need a hug and for someone to tell me it’s normal and I’m going to be okay?

I’m off to cry now-please don’t be mean to me….LOL

Julesxox