Archive for the ‘Environment’ tag
The hard drinker
Quote:
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Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason----ill health, falling in love, change in environment, or the warning of a doctor, becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention. From the chapter "There Is A Solution" in the Big Book |
My story and why its sticking this time.
Hi! I just wanted to share today for some reason. Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend from SR and she asked me to tell her when it started with me and how long it took to progress to the point that I "had" to stop. It was something I hadn't really thought about until then. It helped me see through the fog of this disease and also the fact is I CAN'T have another go with the alcohol and so here's my story for those that want to get a cup of java and have a read. Don't blame you if you don't have time, but I wrote it as much for myself as anybody else.
When alcohol entered my life and continued to dominate me -
I started drinking in high school and believe it or not, at age 16 I held out the longest at parties. We lived in a rural area and there wasn't a lot for us to do and I quite often found the wrong things to do. My drinking right off started with binging and then being so hung over I couldn't go to school on Monday. I wasn't the type of person that put it down because of the sickness I endured. I was drawn to it because it made me less shy and more outgoing.
This started my drinking career and while I went to college I developed an even stronger urge for the drink. I was drinking more then on weekends and I wasn't getting as sick. It was the perfect place for consuming alcohol because everyone I knew was "partying." I was the only one that continued the cycle after college and continued drinking more and more even after I left college and "started" my life.
I lived in Chicago for years and the law firm I worked at were all into heavy partying. I missed many days of work because of it, but it was never questioned because they would joke about those out due to a hangover. It was again an accepted environment for this lifestyle that I had grown accustomed to.
I did eventually attend AA in Chicago and was able to keep sober for a few months, but I never felt I was part of the program and why, because my disease kept whispering in my ear, "You aren't one of them. They are far worse then you and therefore, you can't be an alcoholic." Alas - I quit the program and continued to drink again well into my 30s.
I have been married to my husband for 19 years this coming April and we almost did not realize the joy of parenting and why - because I told myself I could not give up drinking and smoking long enough to be pregnant or to parent. I was - get this - going to forfeit becoming a mother because of alcohol. I still didn't see that as an alcoholic mind which is mind blowing to me now. How could I not see it at that point! I did eventually get pregnant and I never drank nor smoked during the pregnancy, but I did eventually pick up the alcohol again when my son was around 1 years old. It may have been before that, but I am not sure. Point is I returned to drinking and it was worse.
I have found that alcohol almost took my son away from me, it took a lot of memories away from me, it caused many black outs for me, and it made me sicker then a dog most of my life so far. Can I ever return to alcohol? Only if I don't care about myself, my son or my husband and you see that's not going to happen.
I told her (my friend) that Grandma was talking with my son one day and said, "Let's have a party. What should we buy for the party?" My then 4 year old son said, "We have to get a box of wine Grandma." A 4 year old should be saying "Balloons, cake, candles and what not - NOT wine! That was a turning point and I guess these things were beginning to add up.
When a newcomer comes on this site and wonders what made you finally successful in quitting. I want to say that the blanket of alcoholism was lifted for me and I finally couldn't hide beneath it anymore. There are too many reasons why I can't drink and why its the enemy and no longer the friend I kept telling myself it was. The blanket developed holes and I was soon able to see through it. It became tattered and I could no longer hide beneath it. I decided to throw it away and that is how I came to be sober. It has to stick this time because there isn't any other option.
I have this post to refer to now when that voice comes back saying, "You can drink normal. You didn't have a "real" problem to begin with." I can now turn my back to it and walk away. I got sober for these reasons and I continue to say sober thanks to SR and the people here. Thank you for the phone conversation yesterday because it helped me see more clearly. I had been flirting with relapse and I know that now. It was in the back of my mind, but not today. I know the holidays will be tough, but I will return to this post and reread it. That should do the trick.
:ghug
When alcohol entered my life and continued to dominate me -
I started drinking in high school and believe it or not, at age 16 I held out the longest at parties. We lived in a rural area and there wasn't a lot for us to do and I quite often found the wrong things to do. My drinking right off started with binging and then being so hung over I couldn't go to school on Monday. I wasn't the type of person that put it down because of the sickness I endured. I was drawn to it because it made me less shy and more outgoing.
This started my drinking career and while I went to college I developed an even stronger urge for the drink. I was drinking more then on weekends and I wasn't getting as sick. It was the perfect place for consuming alcohol because everyone I knew was "partying." I was the only one that continued the cycle after college and continued drinking more and more even after I left college and "started" my life.
I lived in Chicago for years and the law firm I worked at were all into heavy partying. I missed many days of work because of it, but it was never questioned because they would joke about those out due to a hangover. It was again an accepted environment for this lifestyle that I had grown accustomed to.
I did eventually attend AA in Chicago and was able to keep sober for a few months, but I never felt I was part of the program and why, because my disease kept whispering in my ear, "You aren't one of them. They are far worse then you and therefore, you can't be an alcoholic." Alas - I quit the program and continued to drink again well into my 30s.
I have been married to my husband for 19 years this coming April and we almost did not realize the joy of parenting and why - because I told myself I could not give up drinking and smoking long enough to be pregnant or to parent. I was - get this - going to forfeit becoming a mother because of alcohol. I still didn't see that as an alcoholic mind which is mind blowing to me now. How could I not see it at that point! I did eventually get pregnant and I never drank nor smoked during the pregnancy, but I did eventually pick up the alcohol again when my son was around 1 years old. It may have been before that, but I am not sure. Point is I returned to drinking and it was worse.
I have found that alcohol almost took my son away from me, it took a lot of memories away from me, it caused many black outs for me, and it made me sicker then a dog most of my life so far. Can I ever return to alcohol? Only if I don't care about myself, my son or my husband and you see that's not going to happen.
I told her (my friend) that Grandma was talking with my son one day and said, "Let's have a party. What should we buy for the party?" My then 4 year old son said, "We have to get a box of wine Grandma." A 4 year old should be saying "Balloons, cake, candles and what not - NOT wine! That was a turning point and I guess these things were beginning to add up.
When a newcomer comes on this site and wonders what made you finally successful in quitting. I want to say that the blanket of alcoholism was lifted for me and I finally couldn't hide beneath it anymore. There are too many reasons why I can't drink and why its the enemy and no longer the friend I kept telling myself it was. The blanket developed holes and I was soon able to see through it. It became tattered and I could no longer hide beneath it. I decided to throw it away and that is how I came to be sober. It has to stick this time because there isn't any other option.
I have this post to refer to now when that voice comes back saying, "You can drink normal. You didn't have a "real" problem to begin with." I can now turn my back to it and walk away. I got sober for these reasons and I continue to say sober thanks to SR and the people here. Thank you for the phone conversation yesterday because it helped me see more clearly. I had been flirting with relapse and I know that now. It was in the back of my mind, but not today. I know the holidays will be tough, but I will return to this post and reread it. That should do the trick.
:ghug
please send me some encouragement…….taking son to halfway house
friends,
we leave tomorrow to drive to pick up my son on Wednesday Oct. 21. He will be leaving rehab after 10 months and proceeding to a halfway house (we take him) in Atlanta, Georgia. The environment seems to be very structured from all that I have read. He will need to go on five job interviews per day.
I am anxious but at the same time hopeful. I am proud that he has achieved being ten months clean. I want him to have a better life and hope that he will be able to find a job that will enable him to stay in the halfway house. We are willinging to pay for a period of time as long as he abides by the rules and tries to seek employment.
It has been a long journey for our family.........at time heart breaking. Please say a prayer for our family and my son that the transition will be something that he can handle. It will be a big step for him.
Thank you for any feedback. I am just thankful for all of you who have supported me.
Sincerely, dixied
we leave tomorrow to drive to pick up my son on Wednesday Oct. 21. He will be leaving rehab after 10 months and proceeding to a halfway house (we take him) in Atlanta, Georgia. The environment seems to be very structured from all that I have read. He will need to go on five job interviews per day.
I am anxious but at the same time hopeful. I am proud that he has achieved being ten months clean. I want him to have a better life and hope that he will be able to find a job that will enable him to stay in the halfway house. We are willinging to pay for a period of time as long as he abides by the rules and tries to seek employment.
It has been a long journey for our family.........at time heart breaking. Please say a prayer for our family and my son that the transition will be something that he can handle. It will be a big step for him.
Thank you for any feedback. I am just thankful for all of you who have supported me.
Sincerely, dixied
The start of something good.
Hi all,
I met a few of you guys yesterday this place seems to be something I've been needing for a long time. I guess i should give a breif history of me just so its out there.
Im basically and addict to anything. Im 27 now at 13 i started inhaleing areosols which progressed to solvents. (yeah i know thats bad). At 15 I found Weed which continued for 11 years and i also found alcohol. At 17 I found meth which i still think about at least once a day. 19 i moved to smack (Hammer, H, Herion what ever you call it) at 19 1/2 2 of my friends died of OD from it so i got off it and went back to Meth and a bit of coke. At 21 i moved out of that environment and quit meth and coke. but continued weed. and drinking. Geting off meth was the best move of my life. I managed to get a good job and saved up enough to by my goat farm. At 25-26 i gave up heavilly smoking weed. But in response i had more money again and started to drink REALLY heavily all day every day. Getting my self in trouble a lot.
Over the last year ive been arrested twice for doing stupid things while drunk. I have now hit a point where if i dont stop everything I will lose everything> its affecting my life my study its evan started to affect my friends and family.
I guess i've been an alcoholic for a long time but everything else was covering it.
I am really glad i found this place i've already met some amazing people. People who are inspiring and come with histories similar to mine. Its good to meet people that understand.
Well now thats over hugs all around.
:ghug3 :ghug :ghug2
Thanks for just being here guys.
BillyGoat
I met a few of you guys yesterday this place seems to be something I've been needing for a long time. I guess i should give a breif history of me just so its out there.
Im basically and addict to anything. Im 27 now at 13 i started inhaleing areosols which progressed to solvents. (yeah i know thats bad). At 15 I found Weed which continued for 11 years and i also found alcohol. At 17 I found meth which i still think about at least once a day. 19 i moved to smack (Hammer, H, Herion what ever you call it) at 19 1/2 2 of my friends died of OD from it so i got off it and went back to Meth and a bit of coke. At 21 i moved out of that environment and quit meth and coke. but continued weed. and drinking. Geting off meth was the best move of my life. I managed to get a good job and saved up enough to by my goat farm. At 25-26 i gave up heavilly smoking weed. But in response i had more money again and started to drink REALLY heavily all day every day. Getting my self in trouble a lot.
Over the last year ive been arrested twice for doing stupid things while drunk. I have now hit a point where if i dont stop everything I will lose everything> its affecting my life my study its evan started to affect my friends and family.
I guess i've been an alcoholic for a long time but everything else was covering it.
I am really glad i found this place i've already met some amazing people. People who are inspiring and come with histories similar to mine. Its good to meet people that understand.
Well now thats over hugs all around.
:ghug3 :ghug :ghug2
Thanks for just being here guys.
BillyGoat
I’m new here!
Hi, I've decided that my drinking is becoming [has become?] a problem for me . I'm not sure I can call myself an alcoholic. My mum was an alcoholic and I grew up in that environment - I don't see myself like her in the late stages of her disease but I have become worried about my drinking.
I've finally acknowledged that I am very capable of binge drinking regularly and that on most nights I share a bottle of wine with my partner. Sharing a bottle of wine doesn't seem much compared to some of the stories I've been reading on here, but the next day I am so hungover and even though I feel guilty I can't seem to say 'no' to it! - but so far this time I haven't had a drink 5 days - even though I have really craved one. I have also decided that I can't cope with the heart palpitations I feel all night after drinking. Its like alcohol has become toxic to my body. I have been feeling these palpitations most nights after drinking for about 2-3 years and can't believe I've just tried to ignore them for the sake of drinking!
I also don't want to end up like my mum, and for my own kids to become alcoholics too.
I've finally acknowledged that I am very capable of binge drinking regularly and that on most nights I share a bottle of wine with my partner. Sharing a bottle of wine doesn't seem much compared to some of the stories I've been reading on here, but the next day I am so hungover and even though I feel guilty I can't seem to say 'no' to it! - but so far this time I haven't had a drink 5 days - even though I have really craved one. I have also decided that I can't cope with the heart palpitations I feel all night after drinking. Its like alcohol has become toxic to my body. I have been feeling these palpitations most nights after drinking for about 2-3 years and can't believe I've just tried to ignore them for the sake of drinking!
I also don't want to end up like my mum, and for my own kids to become alcoholics too.
Why don’t I get the pink cloud?
Hello Ladies,
I have been sober for a little more than four months and have been a part of this community for about three months. I have read your posts and on occassion solicited your help and I want to say Thank You for being a part of my recovery.
Sobriety has been a great thing for me and I can honestly say that looking from the outside a lot of things have improved in my life. My husband is always commenting on what great strides I have made and how I am so much happier and doing so much better. (I also quit my job shortly into sobriety. It was a really bad environment, but I have not found another one yet.)
The thing is... I want the pink cloud. I am so depressed and contantly dropping into these emotional bottoms that are almost so bad that I can't hardly drag myself up. I don't want to drink again, but I am not happy.
Why don't I get the pink cloud?
:Flower:
I have been sober for a little more than four months and have been a part of this community for about three months. I have read your posts and on occassion solicited your help and I want to say Thank You for being a part of my recovery.
Sobriety has been a great thing for me and I can honestly say that looking from the outside a lot of things have improved in my life. My husband is always commenting on what great strides I have made and how I am so much happier and doing so much better. (I also quit my job shortly into sobriety. It was a really bad environment, but I have not found another one yet.)
The thing is... I want the pink cloud. I am so depressed and contantly dropping into these emotional bottoms that are almost so bad that I can't hardly drag myself up. I don't want to drink again, but I am not happy.
Why don't I get the pink cloud?
:Flower:
