Drug Rehab Options Blog

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Then unexpectedly, a sinister thought entered his mind. Why should the other man alone experience all the pleasures of seeing everything while he himself never got to see anything? It didn't seem fair. At first thought the man felt ashamed. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and he found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window -- that thought, and only that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running in. In less than five minutes the coughing and choking stopped, along with that the sound of breathing.

Now there was only silence-deathly silence. The following morning the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take it away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate since he had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."



Author Unknown

Since I joined AA, I have been blessed with significant spiritual growth. I have accepted that there is a bigger picture, an unseen & indefinable power, “the tissue out of which our lives were constructed”.

I do believe that we must find “the Great Reality deep down within us” (it really is there!) and that it is “impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power”.

I read and listen to the wisdom of Christian, Native Canadian, and Buddhist teachings (I'm open to all sources of wisdom). Recently, I came across a Christian reading that stated “Everything in your life that is good comes from God”. This really helped me understand what spiritual experience, fitness, and growth is all about.

If everything good in my life comes from God, it follows that everything good in my life is spiritual. Some of the many blessings in my life: my family, my health, my sobriety. Some of my experiences: that moment of clarity when I knew deep down inside that I am an alcoholic & I need help, meeting my sponsor for the first time, AA meetings, helping others, being helped. Kindness, love, compassion, respect. This is all spiritual in nature and is the foundation of living a good, sober life.

"Everything in your life that is good comes from God" also helped clarify what is not spiritual. For example, my greed, envy, anger, and fear. And putting alcohol in my body is certainly not spiritual - losing touch with everything good in my life, eventually losing everything for good.

I am in a 12 step commitment group right now (we are on step 2). This is the second time I have gone through the steps and it is certainly a different experience! There must have been some fight left in me the first time around!

I can’t define my Higher Power and that’s okay. It’s more about Faith. There is much more to life than self-will. I know where the good things in my life come from and it is my responsibily to give thanks and honor these gifts that were given to me. Confusion & doubt has been replaced by simple Faith. I really do feel like a huge burden has been lifted!


Big Book quotes from the 1st Edition of the Big Book

Hi. I am no good at dealing with emotions in a healthy way, never have been, maybe never will be but I'm sure that there are some people that are. I understand the saying that desire is the root of unhappiness, I get it, I just cannot hold onto it. In fact, it seems I am unable to integrate most wisdom I hear into my own life, I just dont get it on a deep level or something. Just wondering if anyone has troubles dealing with feelings of envy and jealousy, and if so, have you found some way to "get over" these feelings. Are there any good books that anyone can recommend? Thanks :)


:wtf2

I would like to write here what a fantastic week i have had. And more importently how i my life has moved on since attending my first AA meeting in January.

My kids have been on their hols with their mom, so i was wondering how these last two weekends were going to pan out. I normally have the kids over the weekend, so in not having them i really could see the temptation to go out for a nights drinking.

Last weekend i finally achieved a life's goal of qualifying my scuba diving course. I dived a wonderful site up North, upon qualification i had a grin from ear to ear. It was a fantastic feeling, you see this something i had wanted to do since childhood. In all my years drinking i would always think of this ambition with an envy, as something i would never do.

Then in the week i came across a fantastic deal for a car. I have driven an old car for many years, sometimes i hate the fact that my kids get embarassed when i drop them off at school. I know kids get embarassed by most things their parents do, but this one does touch a nerve. Now however i have bought a decent car for literally a fraction of it's true value.

Then came yesterday. You see one of my ambitions in life is to get a university degree. I dropped out of uni through partying to hard. Now i am a window cleaner, an honest hard working job, but i always felt i could do better. As each year went by i would look at different distance learning options, but my drinking always affected my ability to knuckle down on it. So after a couple months sober i applied to do a degree.

I have always been interested in law and politics, but though that maybe i should go for an easier option. My decision in the end was that if i achieved this sort of degree i would always wonder what if? So i applied for an llb (law) degree with the University of London on an external distance course. This is the oldest llb in the world. To my surprise i was accepted. I went to my induction day yesterday. I am under no illusion as to how thorough and intense it is going to be. From what i have studied so far i know i am going to enjoy it.

Then came a big bombshell to me. Historically London and Cambridge have links on their law degrees. So i have an option to study for an intense week at Cambridge in the spring. You cannot believe how good this makes me feel, i really feel that i can become a useful member of society.

At the age of 38 i really see my life coming together. Tomorrow actually looks good and i am looking forward to it.

I look back to about 6 years ago. After a night of drink and drugs, i was looking at a way to get into a disused building so that i could jump off the roof. It was only the thought of my kids that stopped me from doing this, i knew they would be devastated.

When that wall of normality hits us after getting sober, that was the time for me to start rebuilding my life. I would encourage anyone to chase their dreams, you never know they may come true.

Paul

"The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear."