Drug Rehab Options Blog

The promises come to mind...

"we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it"


Just returned from a meeting at a women's recovery center. I am so very grateful that others held me up and encouraged me to keep on trudging on this path.


I remember the fear, misery, and self loathing and all those other yukky feelings of early recovery as I look at and listen to the women there.

I recognize the rebel I was.

I recognize the old friends of justification, rationalization, and denial.


Those things I see in the women there are familiar
..and while I see them I get to another level of willingness, acceptance and gratitude;
but also a strong sence of hope that all those still suffering will see in each of us there is a way out...
there is a solution and there is a life worth living in recovery.


We share our ESH willingly and freely.
The willingness is something we can not give the newbies.
The willingness must come from the deep recesses of our being. I hope and I pray they each find that willingness within themselves




I was sleepily browsing & reading as i often will when i have trouble easing into to sleep & my mind is unable to be quietened,
in a thread that i cannot now place at this moment ,
i found the above post by Indigo
As i read through what she quietly & lovingly put down in spiritual light, i could not help but to admire an be amazingly inspired by the humbleness of this fellow member.
I know, from recieving awesome support & encouragement here @ SRthat it does wonderfull things to my inner being when that encouragement & recognition comes forth...
As addict/Alcoholics whichever your vice may have been, we tend to steer clear of the spotlight or be dramatically in the spotlight & i have noticed that you, Indigo seem to be a soul who journeys away from that, humbly, lovingly, peacefully posting the precious words that you do & from deep within you.
I do not know excactly how clean & sober you are, nor how long you have been a member of what im seeing clearly now to be "The SR Family", I do know this though...
when i first came across posts by you, i instantly was intrigued to read them because of the precious picture associated to your name.
represented to me a shy, quiet, gracious woman with offerings that may be meaningfull an deep.
The woman pictured, stripped of all, though the real inner light remained.
I just wish to say to you...Thankyou
You do so much for me inside, i feel like i glow when i read the pieces you post, you are a constant in my learning & you are a fine example of women supporting women.
w supporting w has always been a hard one on my recovery journey over 14years,
i seem to be judging of women, i know this is due to my mothering issue & my sibling issues with my sister, yet when i read & take in the things you feel & express, i do not feel that judgment rise up inside me, blocking me, stunting me.
very few females have this affect upon me i can assure you, there are 2 or 3 here on SR,1 or 2 in NA& my beautifull sponsor that im finding im moving beyond that fear with, in reading, hearing & listening to what they are saying.
Im not sure why im posting this, except for i feel that it is invaluable to express what im truly feeling to the people that aid me in feeling such a freeing feeling & the support the women give to each other is simply awesome & i wish to recognise it.

Ok so I felt the need to write tonight...I know SHOCKER coming from me! :lmao

December has been a horrible month for me for many years now since I lost my husband-(He was not an A) he was my life, my rock. I actually sat here today and thought about Alcoholics and Codies! Yup I did! Silly me!

IMHO and from learning more and more each day as I go through recovery ....it has simply amazed me that A's and Codies do not realize how much they have in common! Sounds silly right? I know the A's are thinking is this one nutz? She has no clue what it is like....

Actually.....codies and A's come from the same place the same homes, the same up bringing. It is just that we each seek out other sources to cover our pain! I know rocket science huh?!

I just wanted to point that out even though some may know this it is just a gentle reminder...so that we all know that we at SR are all here for one another! Please make your way to each forum and spread your ESH as I know I have seen others do in this forum so often!

SR is a great recovery source for all of us! If you take a minute and think about it.......we all are here for two reasons....pain and relief!

And I love it this place and love you guys for the support you show to others! Keep moving forward!!

:a194:

My ego has compelled me to tell you this. Thanks for listening and sharing your ESH, you people have helped me stay sober!

I need to learn to deal better with my pride/ego, here is the issue, not major, but it does bug me, every time one of my sponsee's share I can not stop myself from thinking to myself that what my sponsee shares is a direct reflection of me and foolishly sit there wondering if folks who know I am sponsoring that guy are judging me by what my sponsee's share!

I know that it is my self centerdness and the only time I have ever had anyone say a thing to me negative about a sponsee was one time when one of my sponsee's share sounded as though he was giving a lecture instead of sharing his own ESH. I pulled him aside after the meeting and asked him what he would have thought if he had been a newcomer and heard his own share? He looked at me and said "Damn!!! I was giving a lecture instead of sharing my ES&H!" We both had a good laugh and the guy who said something to me about his share said "Did you talk to XXXXXX after that share?" I laughed and said "Yep, he knew he lectured the second I mentioned it to him.

Does anyone else feel discomfort when one of their sponsee's share? How do you all deal with it? I have been praying about it, I plan on talking to my sponsor about it even though I am pretty sure I know what he is going to say........ "Martin trust me it is not all about you and no one is keeping score or judging you by your sponsee's."

Hi Im Sharon and Im an alcoholic.

By the Grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely grateful.


Do you remember your last drunk?
or drug usage?

I do....and today just as vivid in
my mind as ever. That is one
thing I never wish to shut the
door on.

However remember when u drank
or use and how good it was at the
beginning? The taste, the feel etc.

Then what happened over the years?

It all turned on us. I couldnt drink
sucessful anymore without getting
sick. Throwing up. Hang overs that
had my head spinning like a top.

The moodiness towards people.

As time went on I couldnt get that
joy I use to have from it. Alcohol
seem to get me into more trouble
and I just couldnt understand why.

Dont drink and drive they say and
yet I avoided the warning and sure
enough I had my first ride in and EMS
and for me cant remember a thing.
Darn-it... :)

10 days and they removed my spleen
so i wouldnt bleed to death. Man
was I a mess.

So,did I remember how much fun
that was coming home at 2am and
running off the road hitting a concrete
culvert sitting on top the ground?

Heck no.....

I swore one more time that that
was the end of my drinking.....right.

That was Feb 90. Aug 90 I healed
perfectly and was right back at the
same club again..... You dummy.

This was the last time there as the
next turn of events led me into rehab
via a family intervention.

18 years later and here I am reflecting
on the insanity of my drinking career.

Sure it was fun at first then in time
it became more of a nightmare.

Thanks to an AWESOME 12 step
program we have to follow each day
and sharing my ESH with u guys, and
giving away what was so freely passed on
to me just so i can stay sober one more
day.

Never do i wish to return to that
craziness....today I live and reap
the rewards of being happy joyous
and free.

Thanks for letting me share.

Here's a little ESH I have on this topic. I came into NA and joined a "bloodline" that worked steps and traditions together. My sponsor did it, his sponsor did it, and his sponsor did it. So, naturally, I followed suit. Although I'm grateful for the experience, I'm come to understand that staying clean and working the steps are what make my recovery possible.

I have to agree that the traditions pertain to the groups. Why? Because freedom for the individual comes from the 12 steps and freedom for the groups "springs" from out traditions. Groups do not recover, addicts do. I beg to differ that traditions will keep anyone from killing others, but a thorough application of the steps will (see Steps 1,2,3, 11 & 12).

I'm sure each of us can devise ways to incorporate the 12 Traditions in our personal lives and many of us do. Yet, I offer you this:

Trad.1 - Although I cannot recover alone and unity is a must in our fellowship, the only welfare that “comes first” outside the rooms is my own. I have no wife, kids, pets or no other "dependents" and I live alone. Self-sufficiency is a lie, but self-support is a must. As long as I focus on enhancing my own recovery (meaning, practicing the principles in all my affairs), I will be well – then, and only then, can I be of value to others. If I am “sick”, then I am of no use to anyone, not even myself.


Trad.2 - Group conscience applies in a group and in order to participate in a group conscience, I have to first develop a conscience through working the steps. Without the steps and the ability to be selfless, it is very unlikely that I could participate or lead without a self-serving agenda. Outside the group, I make decisions based on experience and the conscious contact I have with my HP. Because I live alone, I'm the leader in my house and my word is final. I am the ultimate authority. On my job there is no group conscience, although employers often seek input from workers. Yet, the final decisions are rarely based on what’s best for the “group” - they’re based on what’s best for the owners. Equality is a privilege in NA that is scarce outside of NA. Outside NA, government is a reality.

Trad.3 - Desire alone may get me membership in NA, but hardly anywhere else. Outside the fellowship I'm required to QUALIFY and I can expect to be judged according to whatever I bring to the table. I will need to fill out applications, provide proof of identity, and I might even need a credit card! I may be a member of NA when I say I am, but I canÂ’t try that stuff at the YMCA

Trad.4 - Autonomy does not swing outside NA. We have Federal, State and Local laws. I cannot do as I please. And although my personal behavior affects society as a whole in many ways, as an individual, I have to stay within the boundaries of much more than 12 Traditions. Step work helps me to become "responsible, productive and socially acceptable." Autonomy gives the groups freedom to be creative in carrying the message. The steps give the individual the “profound personality change” needed to get freedom from active addiction.


Trad.5 – An NA group has ONE primary purpose. As an individual, I have many purposes - many of them have little to do with NA. The primary purpose of the individual member is to stay clean and recover. Through the steps, the best way I carry the message, as an individual, is by the way that I live. The groups exist to carry the message. Thanks to the steps, I live (period).

Trad.6 - I can lend my name to whomever I please and prostitute myself for commercial gain. If the price is right, I'll sell bras, panties or atomic bombs. I can finance or endorse whatever I please, but an NA group cannot. As in individual, I have to be careful not to become obsessive in the areas of money, property or prestige. If it isnÂ’t spiritual, it probably isnÂ’t practical.

Trad.7 - An honest days pay for an honest days work (see Trad.1) Groups cannot accept “outside contributions” but I can. I can accept funding, loans, gifts, favors and endowments

Trad.8 - I can be a professional in any field I choose. There is no professionalism in NA, but outside the fellowship our status is often not equal. In the fellowship we share with one another freely, but outside the fellowship I have to pay for services I receive.

Trad.9 - I am Lord, King and Master in my home. There will always be a hierarchy. NA has no governing body, we serve - not rule.

Trad.10 - I have opinions on EVERYTHING and I can take sides with whomever I choose. In our groups, I keep my remarks focused on the NA message of recovery.

Trad.11 – As an individual, I am free to promote myself as I see fit. I can have my picture posted on billboards, TV, the internet and magazines. Through the steps, I practice the principle of humility and refrain from any attempts to come off as a NA representative.

Trad.12 - Anonymity doesn't swing outside NA. I got to have I.D. (Driver's license, Social Security card, registration, account numbers...etc...) Yes, my actions may affect others, but Step work keeps me considerate and mindful of my behavior. Spiritual principles never conflict and I donÂ’t have to like you to help you.

I'm open to ES&H

I got a friend who is 10 years clean and sober (same length as me) and she maybe having some kind of mental breakdown.

It's to do with a guy she's been seeing and she thinks he is following her or getting his friends too, listening to her calls, checking her emails etc...

I spoke to her last night on the phone and she told me she's felt this way for awhile and doesn't even know herself if it is because she is mentally ill or because it is really happening etc...

I haven't clue if she is ill or not too. She sounds pretty sane about everything else in her life. Her family are pretty concerned about her though.

She has had a rough year with a long term relationship ending, having a miscarriage, ending up in the worst job in the world etc...

Anyone got any ESH?

There was a post here in the last few weeks regarding folks who were drunk at meetings. I'd just like to thank you all for that thread, because I think it helped me immensely tonight.

I woman came in to the meeting tonight and she smelled like booze. Sat next to me. Now, when this has happened before, I've stayed away from someone who was drunk at a meeting because I was reacting with my defects of judgment and fear.

Tonight I welcomed her. Then after the meeting I spoke with her and offered her my number, and offered to give her a ride in the future. I really hope that she takes me up on it.

Anyway, if I hadn't read that post here and read all the responses and reading the ESH of others who have been in that situation, I never would've reached out to that woman. And I feel good.

So, thanks.

xo

Karen

Hey everyone... I've posted on here before, mostly about my struggles with my alcoholic dad, and also about my (currently losing) battle to quit smoking... but I'm finally at a point where I'm willing to admit I'm starting to use alcohol a little too much as a crutch to deal with some painful situations going on. I'm definitely the type of person that's guilty of the "oh, I'm not as bad as "that guy" so I must be ok" but I'm starting to realize it's becoming more and more of a problem in my life. I don't drink every day, and there are times where I have one or 2 and no more, and even a lot of situations recently that have come up where I could drink, or am around drinking, and don't have a drop. I even just had ginger ale at a bachelorette party last weekend. BUT, I know how easily and quickly things can slide downhill, and I want to keep that from happening. Beucase there ARE nights when I will very happily settle in at home (I live alone) and finish off a 6-pack or even more by myself... a few times when I've had to call into work because I'm hungover, either from drinking at home or going out with friends and having one too many... I went through an immensely painful breakup in March, and I realize, that pales in comparison to what so many have gone through, but the pain is still real and raw for me and it's like I experience it over and over every day. There's more details to that I'll go into later, but I'll just say the EX is not a drinker and the break-up was not alcohol related in any way. I just see myself walking down a very dangerous hill, and i'm scared I'm going to lose my footing and start skidding and then rolling out of control, and I don't want that to happen. I do go to Alanon meetings because of my dad, not sure if AA is for me at this point, but I do read posts here faithfully, and I know there's a huge wealth of ESH here, and I'm hoping to reap a little bit of that for myself... I know I need to take it one day at a time...
thanks all for listening, and I do appreciate the huge amounts of time and effort and wisdom you all put into making this board what it is...
-Alice

I've been listening to Chris R (as suggested by someone) and he talks a lot about discussion meetings 'sucking ass' for want of a better expression.

In America are they quite common?

I've been sober 10 years and only ever been to 1 discussion meeting and that wasn't in my city/town but rather in Auckland which is at the other end of the country. I can't say I really liked it but can't say I really hated it either. I just found it a bit weird and could see how members could dominate a meeting etc...

If they are quite common what are they like over there?

All meetings here (in my city as far as I know) are formal ESH, with the chairperson asking others by name to share and then maybe opened for anyone who has not been asked or are literature based but still follow this kind of format.

Wouldn't discussion meetings have the tendency to become 'group therapy' like?