Drug Rehab Options Blog

hi there, can anyone tell me wha this expression means. someone said it in an al anon meeting today. i am just curious.

thank you.

When I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror I recognized this woman with bright blue eyes who I used to know. You see the one that I've seen in the mirror for several months now had no expression with dull eyes staring back at me.

When I saw the bright eyed lady today I smiled at her unlike the other one who always looked sad, I never smiled at her, in fact I didn't even like her.

I am praying when I wake up tomorrow the lady with the bright blue eyes will be there when I look in the mirror - she just seems to make life a whole lot easier.

friends,
my son called last night and he got a job. there is a condition. this is a job in sales and he needs a car. it is my understanding that this is a commission job. therefore you will have an outlay of cash in the form of gas, insurance, new car tag etc. he has a car here that is titled to his wife (soon to be ex-wife). I am presuming he has her okay.

Of course he wants us to assist him in the gas, ins., tag etc. until he can begin making sales. I told him I felt that was a lot of outlay for a job that might not pan out (example..no sales) for now I told him my dh and I would get the counselors(at his rehab) opinion and see what kind of company this is and if he thinks it is a good idea.

So once again I am in the doghouse for not being "gung-ho" on a job he found. However, if he expects us to help him make this possible don't we have a right to express our doubts? I personally feel like he should get a paying job that includes a regular week to week paycheck. But is that controlling on my part? Or just the expression of an opinion?

I think he should save his money while working at another job and if the sales job is available AFTER he saves his $$$ then go for it. Of course you all know how well that idea is going to go over. Seems to me I can never win. Now my son thinks I am the stumbling block in a great job for him.

I feel pretty low right now but we have only last week set him up in rehab and now this. Am I wrong thinking this sales job is a bad idea? Also my dh and I would have to miss a days work to get the car to him plus make the arrangements for a tag and insurance since he is in a different state. Really it isn't a cut and dried issue but I'd appreciate any thoughts. dixied

I've been listening to Chris R (as suggested by someone) and he talks a lot about discussion meetings 'sucking ass' for want of a better expression.

In America are they quite common?

I've been sober 10 years and only ever been to 1 discussion meeting and that wasn't in my city/town but rather in Auckland which is at the other end of the country. I can't say I really liked it but can't say I really hated it either. I just found it a bit weird and could see how members could dominate a meeting etc...

If they are quite common what are they like over there?

All meetings here (in my city as far as I know) are formal ESH, with the chairperson asking others by name to share and then maybe opened for anyone who has not been asked or are literature based but still follow this kind of format.

Wouldn't discussion meetings have the tendency to become 'group therapy' like?

I suppose this could also be described as a 'rock bottom' but who else here has noticed that they keep moving the goal line on their A?

For example:
my life would be good if he got sober,
then when he/she stops drinking the goal changes to
if he/she attends AA my life would be good
then when he/she starts attending AA the goal changes to
when he/she starts working the steps (especially 9) my life will be good
then when he/she gets a sponsor and starts on the steps it changes to
now if he/she would stay home more often instead of going to AA my life would be good....etc, ect...

Anyone see the pattern here?

Realising I had this type of thinking is what sent me to Al Anon. I realised it did not matter what my A did, it would never be good enough for me, because I was unhappy with myself.

I often read on here things like 'the A can't love you because they don't love themselves etc....' and it has been my expereince that this works both ways. As family members we are unable to love our A's because we don't love ourselves either.

I think that sometimes the only difference in my behaviour compared to an A is that they drink - I can say with 100% conviction that I can to be highly irrational, abusive, hysterical and controlling without the need for a drink! Except I blame my behavior on whatever A happens to be in my life at the time.

When I think of my past, I tend to have two types of thoughts.
1st lot being OMG I can't believe you stayed
2nd lot being OMG I can't believe I behaved like that
And I am grateful I no longer have the 'OMG he was a b*****d - I'm such a victim' thinking anymore.

I think I am having one of those days where I can clearly see why I've got involved with A's. Our behaviors complimented each other, for want of a better expression.

:chatter

White House staffers were perplexed one morning to see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties on his arm.

Somewhat used to the president's tendencies, they let it go and went about their daily tasks. The day wore on, several VIPs were ushered in and out of the Oval Office for meetings with Clinton about important affairs of the state.

Each one left with a puzzled expression on their face, but no one dared ask the President's personal business.

Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary, walked into the office between appointments and gently closed the door behind her.
"Mr. President," she said. "We've come to expect many unusual things from you, but we're all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a pair of woman's panties on your arm. Please tell me this doesn't mean more trouble."

"On no," the President grinned. "It's a Patch. I'm trying to quit."