Archive for the ‘Extra Money’ tag
Second Rehab…
My boyfriend Rick and I have been together 13 months yesterday and so far this year, he has been to two treatment centers to become clean from a list of drugs. I remember in April when he was in rehab and how lonely I felt because he was the main person I talked to throughout the day. Now I am determined to not feel lonely and sad while he is in rehab for his second time and hopefully last time. It's just hard when you only get a phone call a couple times a week!! He just left Sunday night and I have already cried at least once a day. I am hoping to really connect with you all and hear more of your stories of recovering loved ones to keep me strong.
Exciting news though! He called me today while in detox for a little over 10 minutes. He sounded great and really enthused to be there which was awesome to hear. I am scared though of when he gets out...What can I do this time to help? Here are some of the factors that I think played a part in his relapse besides himself just choosing to do so...
1. Little to no family support
2. All of his friends use drugs and these friends have been his friends since elementary school
3. He said to himself, "I'm only 20 years old! I just want to have fun like other 20 year olds! Why do I have to do this now??" Which is a reason I sometimes struggle with defending even though I never drink or have ever used drugs but I know how the typical 20 year old college student is!
4. He is somewhat of a hippie and looks up to drug addicted musicians...loves the Beatles, bob dylan, bob marley, jimy hendrix...
5. Had nothing to occupy his free time..he worked 12:30pm to 9pm at a grocery store and had nothing really to do in his free time
6. It was easier to give up than to battle everyday
7. Lives with parents so he had so much extra money and nothing really to spend it on!
8. Didn't really form any good friendships in outpatient and eventually got discharged and stopped going entirely.
Can anyone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me with solutions to some of these problems he faced after rehab in April which eventually led to his relapse 40 days later? I appreciate this more than you know!! THANK YOU!!!!
Exciting news though! He called me today while in detox for a little over 10 minutes. He sounded great and really enthused to be there which was awesome to hear. I am scared though of when he gets out...What can I do this time to help? Here are some of the factors that I think played a part in his relapse besides himself just choosing to do so...
1. Little to no family support
2. All of his friends use drugs and these friends have been his friends since elementary school
3. He said to himself, "I'm only 20 years old! I just want to have fun like other 20 year olds! Why do I have to do this now??" Which is a reason I sometimes struggle with defending even though I never drink or have ever used drugs but I know how the typical 20 year old college student is!
4. He is somewhat of a hippie and looks up to drug addicted musicians...loves the Beatles, bob dylan, bob marley, jimy hendrix...
5. Had nothing to occupy his free time..he worked 12:30pm to 9pm at a grocery store and had nothing really to do in his free time
6. It was easier to give up than to battle everyday
7. Lives with parents so he had so much extra money and nothing really to spend it on!
8. Didn't really form any good friendships in outpatient and eventually got discharged and stopped going entirely.
Can anyone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me with solutions to some of these problems he faced after rehab in April which eventually led to his relapse 40 days later? I appreciate this more than you know!! THANK YOU!!!!
Need help out of codependency and with a plan to more forward
Hi all!!
I think I have posted something similar to this once before.
I wanted to give you all an impression of how my life is right now and see who can relate:
My ah hides his use pretty well. His DOC is cocaine. he was using once or twice a week, but this week it seems to be more because he cant fall asleep at night.
I take the kids to school everyday then i go sub if i have an assignment that day. My ah goes to work almost every day. I take care of the house, the kids, etc. He will pitch in maybe 10%-20% but mainly after work he is on the couch watching tv or on his laptop.
Weekends we dont do much. I clean, food shop, take kids where they need to go, the kids see friends....we may go out to each once in a while. My older daughter is at the age where she deosnt really want to do family things, but i like to get out and do stuff onthe weekend..ijust dont have the extra money to go places and otherwise, what else is there to do besides shop???
I get depressed on weekends, because like i said i like to get out. My family is not close by and i never see his except on holidays. the few friends ihave are usually busy with their families on weekends.
So here is how i feel: I feel like I have lost myself by putting up with drug use. I have compromised my morals, values and who i am and it makes me feel less than. I do not want to be in a marriage with someone who lies, does drugs, doesnt help out all the time and take responsiblity for things.
But, i feel trapped because of the economy, i cannot get a high paying job, my co-depnedency, etc....but i want to move forward..my codependency is sooo strong....i am going to meetings, reading, making phonecalls to members of my group, going to therapy. I try not to start in with my ah because it wont get me anywhere, and i want to have peace in the house but i have such feelings of resentment because of it.
I just want to be able to tell him that because i have lost myself and because i cannot accept his behavior anymore, that we need to seperate and perhaps get divorced. I know this is what i need to do in order to take care of myself. I know this is a toxic and unhealthy relationship, but becuase of my co-dependency, i cant do it.
Can anyone help me with a plan?? i want to go back to school to become a teacher..special ed...but where is the $$ going to come from for that...we have so much debt, i dont want to take out another loan. where am i going o get the strength to take care of myself?? what can be included in my plan so that i keep moving forward...i know that so many of you have gone through so much, and sometimes i almost wish something bad would happen so that i have no choice in the matter but to get out....
thanks for your help.....
I think I have posted something similar to this once before.
I wanted to give you all an impression of how my life is right now and see who can relate:
My ah hides his use pretty well. His DOC is cocaine. he was using once or twice a week, but this week it seems to be more because he cant fall asleep at night.
I take the kids to school everyday then i go sub if i have an assignment that day. My ah goes to work almost every day. I take care of the house, the kids, etc. He will pitch in maybe 10%-20% but mainly after work he is on the couch watching tv or on his laptop.
Weekends we dont do much. I clean, food shop, take kids where they need to go, the kids see friends....we may go out to each once in a while. My older daughter is at the age where she deosnt really want to do family things, but i like to get out and do stuff onthe weekend..ijust dont have the extra money to go places and otherwise, what else is there to do besides shop???
I get depressed on weekends, because like i said i like to get out. My family is not close by and i never see his except on holidays. the few friends ihave are usually busy with their families on weekends.
So here is how i feel: I feel like I have lost myself by putting up with drug use. I have compromised my morals, values and who i am and it makes me feel less than. I do not want to be in a marriage with someone who lies, does drugs, doesnt help out all the time and take responsiblity for things.
But, i feel trapped because of the economy, i cannot get a high paying job, my co-depnedency, etc....but i want to move forward..my codependency is sooo strong....i am going to meetings, reading, making phonecalls to members of my group, going to therapy. I try not to start in with my ah because it wont get me anywhere, and i want to have peace in the house but i have such feelings of resentment because of it.
I just want to be able to tell him that because i have lost myself and because i cannot accept his behavior anymore, that we need to seperate and perhaps get divorced. I know this is what i need to do in order to take care of myself. I know this is a toxic and unhealthy relationship, but becuase of my co-dependency, i cant do it.
Can anyone help me with a plan?? i want to go back to school to become a teacher..special ed...but where is the $$ going to come from for that...we have so much debt, i dont want to take out another loan. where am i going o get the strength to take care of myself?? what can be included in my plan so that i keep moving forward...i know that so many of you have gone through so much, and sometimes i almost wish something bad would happen so that i have no choice in the matter but to get out....
thanks for your help.....
Help me understand?
Hi, I'm new to this forum. I stumbled upon it and thought maybe it could help me...
2 years ago I made an online friend with whom I immediately became very close. 6 months into our friendship, he revealed to me that he was an alcoholic. I didn't know much about alcoholism, and he seemed pretty normal to me so I didn't think much of it. We only kept in touch during his working hours and so I never saw the impact that alcohol really had on him "after-hours"...
Over the course of the next year, through constant email contact, I began understanding the depth of the grip that alcoholism can have on somebody. Terrible stories were relayed to me, all of which had alcohol involved.
A year and a half into our friendship, we decided to meet in person. I flew out to spend a week with him this past summer (he lives thousands of miles away from me, in another country). This was my first real exposure to the reality of alcoholism. My friend couldn't even look at me or relax around me unless he had alcohol in his system. It was devastating for me.
Since then, I have really struggled between pity and anger towards him. He doesn't want to be an alcoholic; yet all of his extra money goes into alcohol and it's eating up his life. But he doesn't want to live a life without alcohol because he views it as the only way he can relax and/or have fun. He's become incredibly depressed in part due to the alcoholism. But does nothing to fix it except dull his pain with a drink.
From a distance, all I can do is watch him flail around in despair. And it hurts me tremendously to see him in anguish over it because I care so much. But I also know to keep a safe distance because getting too involved with alcoholism could easily suck the life out of me, too.
Sometimes I consider going to alcohol anonymous meetings myself. Just to understand. But then I get angry about it, because even he won't go to a meeting. Why should I.
*sigh*
I'm rambling. I just need some sort of support and understanding. I fear my dearest friend is going to drink himself to death. And I don't know what to do.
2 years ago I made an online friend with whom I immediately became very close. 6 months into our friendship, he revealed to me that he was an alcoholic. I didn't know much about alcoholism, and he seemed pretty normal to me so I didn't think much of it. We only kept in touch during his working hours and so I never saw the impact that alcohol really had on him "after-hours"...
Over the course of the next year, through constant email contact, I began understanding the depth of the grip that alcoholism can have on somebody. Terrible stories were relayed to me, all of which had alcohol involved.
A year and a half into our friendship, we decided to meet in person. I flew out to spend a week with him this past summer (he lives thousands of miles away from me, in another country). This was my first real exposure to the reality of alcoholism. My friend couldn't even look at me or relax around me unless he had alcohol in his system. It was devastating for me.
Since then, I have really struggled between pity and anger towards him. He doesn't want to be an alcoholic; yet all of his extra money goes into alcohol and it's eating up his life. But he doesn't want to live a life without alcohol because he views it as the only way he can relax and/or have fun. He's become incredibly depressed in part due to the alcoholism. But does nothing to fix it except dull his pain with a drink.
From a distance, all I can do is watch him flail around in despair. And it hurts me tremendously to see him in anguish over it because I care so much. But I also know to keep a safe distance because getting too involved with alcoholism could easily suck the life out of me, too.
Sometimes I consider going to alcohol anonymous meetings myself. Just to understand. But then I get angry about it, because even he won't go to a meeting. Why should I.
*sigh*
I'm rambling. I just need some sort of support and understanding. I fear my dearest friend is going to drink himself to death. And I don't know what to do.
Sad…….
I feel like my husband only tries to be nice to me when he goes out to drink. He knows what his plans are going to be days in advance and he says all these sweet things to me like he used to when we were first together.
My husband was the most romantic person in the world and used to experience the world with me, but now it is not the same. I am 8 months pregnant now, and I am always home. He never asks if I want to do anything with him, and he always has money problems. I am always putting in for what he lacks in bills, mortgage, car payments....everything. I feel like I couldn't possibly go out because that would mean that I would spend money, and I can't afford to do that if I don't know whether I will have to put in extra money for him.
He tells me that he is depressed and then he goes out to drink with his friends. He spends more money and he bets...all of the things that we can't really afford with a child on the way and a mortgage.
I have asked for a little more attention and some appreciation, but I get nothing. There is no appreciation for all that I do...and I can't even get my husband to give me a massage. I have not had a single massage my entire pregnancy. I know that I sound like a whiney ***** right now. But I feel like I am worthy of a little of that time....and when I do get attention now I don't feel like it is sincere anymore....there is always some ulterior motive.
That is so sad......
My husband was the most romantic person in the world and used to experience the world with me, but now it is not the same. I am 8 months pregnant now, and I am always home. He never asks if I want to do anything with him, and he always has money problems. I am always putting in for what he lacks in bills, mortgage, car payments....everything. I feel like I couldn't possibly go out because that would mean that I would spend money, and I can't afford to do that if I don't know whether I will have to put in extra money for him.
He tells me that he is depressed and then he goes out to drink with his friends. He spends more money and he bets...all of the things that we can't really afford with a child on the way and a mortgage.
I have asked for a little more attention and some appreciation, but I get nothing. There is no appreciation for all that I do...and I can't even get my husband to give me a massage. I have not had a single massage my entire pregnancy. I know that I sound like a whiney ***** right now. But I feel like I am worthy of a little of that time....and when I do get attention now I don't feel like it is sincere anymore....there is always some ulterior motive.
That is so sad......
7 th tradition money problem
hello eveyone, would appreciate feedback on the following,the treaturer in one of our homegroups took the money of the 7 th tradition and went to use herione with it, he is now in a relapse, and started manipulations, and excuses that he is out of town, we spoke to him that we need the money to pay rent for the room but in vain. i met him yesterday while i was on the pool in my club, he had justed came out of the mens room, loaded, wasted, and he was in no state of mind.for me to open the issue with him he is an agressive character, and i see no reaosn to get into a fist fight, or try to force the money out of him... should we talk to his sponsor, while on the other hand,one of the fellows talked to him and said this is god's money, and not his to do as he pleases.and still no money back.
thanks for the feedback. i guess this is dealing with lifes terms.do we put the blame on the room secretary......
n.b the room will be closed due to not paying the rent, we announced that we neede fellows to attend that specific meeting, and put extra money to cover the loss, but still the response was low....
thankyou and god bless
thanks for the feedback. i guess this is dealing with lifes terms.do we put the blame on the room secretary......
n.b the room will be closed due to not paying the rent, we announced that we neede fellows to attend that specific meeting, and put extra money to cover the loss, but still the response was low....
thankyou and god bless
wish I knew where to start.
I guess the first place would be to say hello. I am an addict. I am 21 years old. I came here hopeing to find support to help me fight my addiction.
It all started two years ago. I have always had legitimate back pain. I went to several doctors who all told me that I was too young to take pain killers. I wish I had listened. I found that I could buy a lortab 10 for $5 and I could be pain free all for only 5 bucks. Well..... Needless to say 1 lortab 10 turned into 2 . 2 turned into 3. 3 turned to 8.
Now I am starting to get into deep do do. I'm was taking 8 lortabs a day. The Max my liver can safely handle. I found these wonderful blue little pills . Roxicontin I could break one in half and take 2 15mg doses and be fine. No worries about my liver. Well , I bet you can guess what happened. 1 turned to 2 . 2 turned to 3 and now I teeter between 3 and 4 a day. 120mg of oxycodone at 60$ a day just to feel normal. (and a little warm and fuzzy for about 20min).
I just recently had a child. She is now 7 mths old. I am spending all of our extra money on these damn pills. I always make sure bills and food is paid for but there is no money left for any thing else but my addiction. I have got to quit for my family. They deserve a Husband/Father who is not doped up.
Well this is me and my addiction in a nutshell..I hope there is someone on this board who can help me..
It all started two years ago. I have always had legitimate back pain. I went to several doctors who all told me that I was too young to take pain killers. I wish I had listened. I found that I could buy a lortab 10 for $5 and I could be pain free all for only 5 bucks. Well..... Needless to say 1 lortab 10 turned into 2 . 2 turned into 3. 3 turned to 8.
Now I am starting to get into deep do do. I'm was taking 8 lortabs a day. The Max my liver can safely handle. I found these wonderful blue little pills . Roxicontin I could break one in half and take 2 15mg doses and be fine. No worries about my liver. Well , I bet you can guess what happened. 1 turned to 2 . 2 turned to 3 and now I teeter between 3 and 4 a day. 120mg of oxycodone at 60$ a day just to feel normal. (and a little warm and fuzzy for about 20min).
I just recently had a child. She is now 7 mths old. I am spending all of our extra money on these damn pills. I always make sure bills and food is paid for but there is no money left for any thing else but my addiction. I have got to quit for my family. They deserve a Husband/Father who is not doped up.
Well this is me and my addiction in a nutshell..I hope there is someone on this board who can help me..
Saw My Ex/ab For A Minute
I saw my ex b/f for a minute.
He had to come and get some of his stuff.
He was still drunk going on over a month and a half he looked awful has not shaved clothes all wrinkled. I have never saw him like this. He was always so neat clothes pressed clean shaven he was nice did not say much neither did I . When he left I was not upset just a feeling of sadness I guess I have never ever saw him in this condition. To tell the truth I do not know what I felt I did not miss him I know that I miss the other Tom. It is very quite here and he leaves me alone which is good. But I am starting to feel very lonley I was used to having someone around. Right now I have no desire to meet any new men I just don,t maybe someday. I really do not want to see anyone.
I am always sleepy and am sleeping a lot. I feel like I need time for what I do not know. Another thing with Tom gone I have no extra money what so ever. I am on disability and he always helped me out. I am very depressed money wise my car is acting up of course this all happens when I kick him out. I am not lonley for him I am just feeling werid the quiet the depression.
I already take tons of meds for depression for bipolar and depression so I guess it is something I have to workout my self. Is this normal to go through? I am glad Tomis not here that would be worse. I just feel blah!!!
Kelli......
He had to come and get some of his stuff.
He was still drunk going on over a month and a half he looked awful has not shaved clothes all wrinkled. I have never saw him like this. He was always so neat clothes pressed clean shaven he was nice did not say much neither did I . When he left I was not upset just a feeling of sadness I guess I have never ever saw him in this condition. To tell the truth I do not know what I felt I did not miss him I know that I miss the other Tom. It is very quite here and he leaves me alone which is good. But I am starting to feel very lonley I was used to having someone around. Right now I have no desire to meet any new men I just don,t maybe someday. I really do not want to see anyone.
I am always sleepy and am sleeping a lot. I feel like I need time for what I do not know. Another thing with Tom gone I have no extra money what so ever. I am on disability and he always helped me out. I am very depressed money wise my car is acting up of course this all happens when I kick him out. I am not lonley for him I am just feeling werid the quiet the depression.
I already take tons of meds for depression for bipolar and depression so I guess it is something I have to workout my self. Is this normal to go through? I am glad Tomis not here that would be worse. I just feel blah!!!
Kelli......
I need a serious pep talk!
Okay, so a week ago I decided to start making jewelry to make some extra money. Someone showed me the basics of how to design things and how to put them together. So for the past week I've been trying to make up stuff as fast as I can to put it in someone's consignment shop next weekend. Then a few days ago I was told about a day in the park where people will be setting up booths. I'm planning to do that too 3 weeks from now. But all this anxiety is setting in! I've spent a lot of money on supplies, even borrowed from family. I've been working really hard and have turned out some very nice merchandise. But my fear is screaming "what if it doesn't sell, what if people don't like it, what if I can't pay my family member back or pay my bills?" And I'm a little burned out from working at it soooooo hard this past week (beading can be tedious work and it strains my eyes). I've never tried to do anything like this before and I'm already worrying that people will bring jewelry back and say it broke or something (even though the clasps are very secure). I'm so afraid I'll fail! HELP!!!
