Drug Rehab Options Blog

Hi all, I'm new here. I just found out last week that my boyfriend of 18 years and father of my children, has been taking cocaine for over a year. I asked him to leave over a month ago as his behaviour was becoming intolerable, not knowing that he had this addiction. Things have been strained between us for some time as I had to return to work 3 years ago when he couldn't (or wouldn't) find work. I have been becoming increasingly fed up at doing a days work and then coming home to pick the kids up from school, cook dinner, wash clothes, clean etc... He couldn't seem to understand why I was so fed up and why I didn't want to be intimate with him as much as he wanted. He has done some private work which I needed to pay the mortgage as the tenant in our other flat was not paying the rent. He kept telling me that he hadn't been paid for these jobs and made a big show of making phone calls (which I now know were all an act) to ask for the money. Over the last few months he has also been draining money out of our bank account, including using money set aside for my boys' birthday presents. We are now in the position that I am so far behind on the mortgage that we may lose both of our apartments. I'm trying to sell the one we don't live in but it's very difficult at the moment.

I'm finding it very hard to deal with all the lies that he has told me and that he could be so irresponsible to let it get to a point that our children could be made homeless. He is now trying to make me feel that this is all my fault. He has told me today that it's my fault that he started taking cocaine (he has always smoked marijuana-something that I also did in my youth but stopped 14 years ago). I feel so cheated and betrayed right now and feel like I am slipping into a deep pit of depression, I feel that the last 18 years have been nothing but lies and don't know how to separate lies from truth. I want to try to be supportive but, I can't bear to even look at him at the moment. He's not the person that I thought he was and I feel cheated of a partner and friend as well as a father for my children. I don't know how to deal with all of this. I have some good friends around me but I have no family here and I don't think they would be very understanding anyway. Everything I've worked for seems to be crumbling away through no fault of my own and yet, he's trying to burden me with the guilt. Is this usual for an addict to blame someone else for their own weakness or do I need to shoulder some of the blame? My friends tell me that I have nothing to feel bad about but, are they just saying that because they are my friends?

Thanks for listening.

Hello my name is Cassandra. New here. Looking for answers. My ex BF and father of my children is (I believe) addicted to percocet and in my heart feel that he is now doing other things. He was prescribed the perks almost 2 years ago for a back problem which is now fixed because of surgery. He is 5 months out and I really had started pushing him to go to rehab.

There were times where he was taking 20 pills a day at 15mg a pill. This seriously worried me. I then began to suspect he was snorting the pills. I have just found and seen things that dont add up. Did I catch him ever? No, but like I said things just didnt add up.

So over the last 9 months or so he began to change and I mean drastically. I first thought it was depression because he couldnt work and this injury was workmans comp and they were fighting him and blah blah. But it just got worse. He lost his sex drive. His desire to spend time with me and the kids and just basically sat in front of the TV.

Well like I said I had been pushing him to go to rehab ALOT. Last week I found a test message that he had bought 2 bags of something for 40 bucks a piece. This money came out of our rent money. I found out and kicked him out. He has been gone a week and I really think he is still using, on a vacation and its really starting to make me think my family is broken and beyond repair. THIS IS NOT THE SAME MAN!!! I cant express that enough.

So he is staying with his sister and apparently she is pressuring him to go to rehab because in the last few days he has talked about going to inpatient rehab. But he has been saying alot of crazy stuff lately. He is forgetful, sweaty all the time, sometimes confused, sometimes falls asleep in mid conversation and other times just down right mean.

This man loved his kids so much and now he doesnt even call to say goodnight to them. That is why I know something is up because he just would never have done that before.

So my question is has the drugs changed him mentally so much so that he will be this way forever? Do drugs change you so much that you are never able to get back to who you used to be? He used to have a problem with cocaine/crack a few years ago that is why I suspect he is using something else also but he swears up and down that he isnt and then even makes me feel bad for even suggesting he would do that.

Any help in understanding the nature of this beast would be very helpful. Have I lost this man for good? It seems like he just doesnt give a crap about us anymore.
Thanks

i'm a mother of two beautiful babies, i have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter and a 1week n 5 day old son. the father of my children happens to be a man i have given my everything to over the last 11 yrs. 2 days after my son was born he took his secound journey into rehab with the hope that he can get better so his kids will beable to enjoy him as well as him enjoy himself. over the last week 1/2 me and him talk almost once a day. and i started looking into some form of al-non, to learn to understand myself and why i'm so addicted to him being apart of my life, and to learn to understand the whys of what has happened between us,. he has lied, cheated, hidden, manipulated, and used me for every little thing. now he wants to come home to me and the kids, and i so badly want him here. but i'm a lil worried that i'll be used as a safe haven, and that he will end up back into stuff and our babies will get hurt, yet again. i want this to work.. i want to share our lives together. but not control or be jealous of our own lives.. i'm not sure on how to go about things and having a hard time finding ways to talk to people and let alone more information on programs that can help me with me so i can learn to accept him for him, instead of sit there and judge him... so pls if you have ne advice. write me back.. i'm a little lost in wonder of the what ifs and whys again.

The Long Road Getting Sober

Life at 11 months the count down to one year..
What has really change the way I think for one ..But who I am hasn't really
..I'm can still be a total ass with my anger.But I can control it ..So much
better now . And when ask the question.. Do I want to drink the answer will
always be yes.. But it all come down to who I want to be..The bad ass roger
or the good one ..You can say I have realize what it does to me ..Like two
personality doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde..And the thing is I know what I want
now and I love who I am becoming .. It really doesn't matter what people
think of me anymore ..I'm not here to make their lives better ..But to make
my life better and there after come the true me ..And if you were to ask for
my secret ..I have none ..To tell you the truth it is all me willpower
knowing what I really want out of life and who I want to be .. The problem
of everyday life is and will always be there you can't stop it from coming..
But you can make the best of what you have and who you are..
When it all comes down to it we are all the same just maybe some have more
money or more kids ,job sucks your husband an ******* or your wife etc etc..
When that problem happen .. Its all but two question to be ask should I or
shouldn't I .. It goes the same with having fun spending time with friends
and family .. Do or don't and these day's I don't want to drink and I don't
need
and i also wanted to add this part that my exwife wrote ..

Hi Roger, I'd be glad to. "Having Roger not drinking anymore has made a very positive change in many people's lives; especially his sons. They wanted a father who would be understanding, patient and non-judgemental. It seems to me that alcohol can turn the nicest people into mean, rash people. Before, I could not get along with him, and I had no patience for his attitude. Now, it's like I re-discovered one of my best friends and I am proud to call him the father of my children. I know it will always be a somewhat difficult road for him to stay on at times; but I know he will perservere and stay sober. If he doesn't, he stands to lose everything again. And I never want to see that happen. " How's that? :) Hope you havea great weekend. Talk to ya later. Margie
and say to you all .. that it does get better everyday ..
peace love and god bless you all happy sunday