Archive for the ‘Fever’ tag
Sickness and Health
AH and I had planned to take DS trick-or-treating last night. You know, go out to dinner, watch scary movies, all that fun stuff.
But AH called at 5:30pm to say that he was too sick to go. Horrible abdominal pain, nausea, fever.
Anyway - he's sick as a dog.
Alcohol-induced acute pancreatitis, it turns out. Most likely not life-threatening, but definitely no fun.
I'm having a difficult time being compassionate. I know that he didn't mean to get sick - it wasn't his intention - but it was a direct result of his self-destructive behaviors. I'm vacillating between anger (my son was disappointed that Dad wasn't there for the Halloween fun) and pity (it really does seem painful!). It's also tough, because I end up having to do all of the parenting this weekend, and I have a TON of studying to do.
Urgh.
Part of me wants to rush to his side, rub his back, and bring him his medicine.
The other part of me wants to smother him with a pillow.
But I'm not going to do either of those things. I'm going to eat pizza and watch the football game with my son.
Prayers are appreciated.
Thanks.
-TC
But AH called at 5:30pm to say that he was too sick to go. Horrible abdominal pain, nausea, fever.
Anyway - he's sick as a dog.
Alcohol-induced acute pancreatitis, it turns out. Most likely not life-threatening, but definitely no fun.
I'm having a difficult time being compassionate. I know that he didn't mean to get sick - it wasn't his intention - but it was a direct result of his self-destructive behaviors. I'm vacillating between anger (my son was disappointed that Dad wasn't there for the Halloween fun) and pity (it really does seem painful!). It's also tough, because I end up having to do all of the parenting this weekend, and I have a TON of studying to do.
Urgh.
Part of me wants to rush to his side, rub his back, and bring him his medicine.
The other part of me wants to smother him with a pillow.
But I'm not going to do either of those things. I'm going to eat pizza and watch the football game with my son.
Prayers are appreciated.
Thanks.
-TC
I just kicked him out
The other days ABF and I had a conversation about the effect of his addiction on me and he broke down in tears and apologized. Two days later I realized that he really cannot go a day without alcohol.
This morning he went to work. He works until 5pm, but he didn't come home after work (not surprising). He didn't call either. I have been feeling under the weather all day and have a terrible terrible headache. I took a nap earlier today and had horrible nightmares and I am aching all over (I think I have a fever, too). I went to bed, but I couldn't sleep because I knew he would come home wasted and wake me up.
He came home alright (around 2:30am), but he brought two guys whom I had never seen before. I heard them come in, ABF was really loud although he knew I was in the bedroom. He did not come in to tell me he is there (like he usually does). So I got dressed and came out. I heard him say: "Oh, she is mad. She is awake. Maybe we should go to my place." His place is not ready yet, has zero furniture and his boss lives on the premises. What a great place to go to smoke pot. He sat on the floor rolling a joint and one of these total strangers sat my computer. He had just turned it on!! What in the world is wrong with people?! Write down my social security number and read through my journal, why don't you?? So far the people he has brought home were people I knew. It's just not right to bring over total strangers, is it?? Gosh...
I asked them to leave and I cannot say I did so politely. I told the guy to get off my computer. I told ABF that I am not a hotel and if the only reason he comes home is because the bars close at 2am, he can stay the hell away. He apologized and I said he apologizes way too much. He said he will get his stuff tomorrow (which is moving day anyway). I told him that I have never felt so disrespected in my life. Of course I WANTED to say that he can stay if those guys leave, but I am glad I resisted the urge.
I cannot believe this. There was a time when he would have never ever done anything like this. He would drink, but booze was not the number one priority in his life. He now spends a fortune on alcohol and pot. Over the course of two months when I was abroad he turned into this and I still cannot wrap my head around it.
He just came back and is getting some things. He wished me good night and tried to give me a kiss and I turned away. I think he was crying and of course I feel awful.
I want my guy back, but i guess he is not coming back anytime soon. It's a big step for me to have thrown them out, but right now I just want to crawl into a cave. I wanted to ask him if we could go to an open AA meeting together, but now suppose I should take a break from him, and even if it's just the weekend.
Thanks for letting me vent. I will take a sleeping pill and go to bed. Things are always better in the mornings. :sadwavey:
This morning he went to work. He works until 5pm, but he didn't come home after work (not surprising). He didn't call either. I have been feeling under the weather all day and have a terrible terrible headache. I took a nap earlier today and had horrible nightmares and I am aching all over (I think I have a fever, too). I went to bed, but I couldn't sleep because I knew he would come home wasted and wake me up.
He came home alright (around 2:30am), but he brought two guys whom I had never seen before. I heard them come in, ABF was really loud although he knew I was in the bedroom. He did not come in to tell me he is there (like he usually does). So I got dressed and came out. I heard him say: "Oh, she is mad. She is awake. Maybe we should go to my place." His place is not ready yet, has zero furniture and his boss lives on the premises. What a great place to go to smoke pot. He sat on the floor rolling a joint and one of these total strangers sat my computer. He had just turned it on!! What in the world is wrong with people?! Write down my social security number and read through my journal, why don't you?? So far the people he has brought home were people I knew. It's just not right to bring over total strangers, is it?? Gosh...
I asked them to leave and I cannot say I did so politely. I told the guy to get off my computer. I told ABF that I am not a hotel and if the only reason he comes home is because the bars close at 2am, he can stay the hell away. He apologized and I said he apologizes way too much. He said he will get his stuff tomorrow (which is moving day anyway). I told him that I have never felt so disrespected in my life. Of course I WANTED to say that he can stay if those guys leave, but I am glad I resisted the urge.
I cannot believe this. There was a time when he would have never ever done anything like this. He would drink, but booze was not the number one priority in his life. He now spends a fortune on alcohol and pot. Over the course of two months when I was abroad he turned into this and I still cannot wrap my head around it.
He just came back and is getting some things. He wished me good night and tried to give me a kiss and I turned away. I think he was crying and of course I feel awful.
I want my guy back, but i guess he is not coming back anytime soon. It's a big step for me to have thrown them out, but right now I just want to crawl into a cave. I wanted to ask him if we could go to an open AA meeting together, but now suppose I should take a break from him, and even if it's just the weekend.
Thanks for letting me vent. I will take a sleeping pill and go to bed. Things are always better in the mornings. :sadwavey:
What a week
I haven't been on the forum for a week now because my ABF was hospitalized with cellulites and it got into his bloodstream...he has been in critical condition until yesterday....to top it off he had to go through the DT's....it's been a nightmare and tonight he was having problems again when I left the hospital...currently he has a raging staph infection that is affecting every organ including his brain....it can lead to meningitis and death
I will admit I have been there most of the week...his daughter came to see him twice for a few minutes....no emotions at all....said what bad timing this was for her to have her dad sick....I wanted to lose it on her but decided to let it go....what's the sense of trying to reach the unreachable...
I told everyone of his friends and family that I would see him through this but if after all this he returns to the bottle I am never going through this again....I would leave and just wait for his obituary in the paper...I hold no hope he will change and want no thanks from him for being with him while in a coma....I know our hospitals are understaffed as I work in the health system so I believe it's important that anyone in a vulnerable state have someone with them in case things go wrong.
Just tonight when I got there he was having great difficulty breathing and his tongue was severely swollen....the nurses were unaware and when I told them they rushed in with oxygen and a shot of steroid to reduce the swelling....his fever was mounting again as well...It was had to leave the hospital tonight but I am exhausted...
I know I may have slipped into my codependent role but I would have had way too much guilt walking away from this situation..
He is so much more than his addiction and God willing he will recover someday....his doctor plans on an intervention when he is better so we shall see...
Good Night all...Now I am going to say a prayer for him.
Peace
Maggie
I will admit I have been there most of the week...his daughter came to see him twice for a few minutes....no emotions at all....said what bad timing this was for her to have her dad sick....I wanted to lose it on her but decided to let it go....what's the sense of trying to reach the unreachable...
I told everyone of his friends and family that I would see him through this but if after all this he returns to the bottle I am never going through this again....I would leave and just wait for his obituary in the paper...I hold no hope he will change and want no thanks from him for being with him while in a coma....I know our hospitals are understaffed as I work in the health system so I believe it's important that anyone in a vulnerable state have someone with them in case things go wrong.
Just tonight when I got there he was having great difficulty breathing and his tongue was severely swollen....the nurses were unaware and when I told them they rushed in with oxygen and a shot of steroid to reduce the swelling....his fever was mounting again as well...It was had to leave the hospital tonight but I am exhausted...
I know I may have slipped into my codependent role but I would have had way too much guilt walking away from this situation..
He is so much more than his addiction and God willing he will recover someday....his doctor plans on an intervention when he is better so we shall see...
Good Night all...Now I am going to say a prayer for him.
Peace
Maggie
I’m Such a Mess….
I feel like such a mess lately. I need help. I need to go and GET that help (therapist, someone to talk to.) I've just been putting it off lately.
I had a bad morning. I have been sick the last few days and with full time school and having to take care of a toddler, it's difficult. My RAH gets home late from work (restaurant business,) and sleeps until noon, then gets up and goes to take a nap without even asking if I needed help, assistance, aid, a BREAK.
I have a fever of 101 (just a cold, but it still sucks,) and I just had it. I went downstairs where he had just fallen asleep and picked a fight with him. I know he's not using, I know it in my heart, but whenever I see him nap--it's a huge trigger for me. I am taken back to the days of when he would sleep off a binge and be unconscious for days at a time.
The spat was quick and ugly. I was very passive aggressive. I walked halfway up the stairs and told him to go back to sleep and just do all the drugs he wanted. I didn't care anymore. It really blindsided him.
I got upstairs, cried a lot while our child was napping. I was so tired, but couldn't take a nap myself because how could I get pissed at him for sleeping when *I* took a nap? How stupid is that?
He woke up. I apologized. I owned up to my stupidness. He forgave me.
I just feel out of control sometimes. I have so much anger still. I need to be more understanding, more caring, more loving, more empathic toward him. I'm not. I'm just a mean, bitchy person who has no control over her temper anymore. It's almost like I don't feel he's done enough penance for all the pain he's caused me, that it hasn't "Evened out" yet. It never will, that's the thing, and it's petty for me to feel that way. I know this.
Most days are good. Some are bad. I know what I need to do and I'm going to do it. I guess I just needed to vent a little (about myself.) Thank you for reading.
:wtf2
I had a bad morning. I have been sick the last few days and with full time school and having to take care of a toddler, it's difficult. My RAH gets home late from work (restaurant business,) and sleeps until noon, then gets up and goes to take a nap without even asking if I needed help, assistance, aid, a BREAK.
I have a fever of 101 (just a cold, but it still sucks,) and I just had it. I went downstairs where he had just fallen asleep and picked a fight with him. I know he's not using, I know it in my heart, but whenever I see him nap--it's a huge trigger for me. I am taken back to the days of when he would sleep off a binge and be unconscious for days at a time.
The spat was quick and ugly. I was very passive aggressive. I walked halfway up the stairs and told him to go back to sleep and just do all the drugs he wanted. I didn't care anymore. It really blindsided him.
I got upstairs, cried a lot while our child was napping. I was so tired, but couldn't take a nap myself because how could I get pissed at him for sleeping when *I* took a nap? How stupid is that?
He woke up. I apologized. I owned up to my stupidness. He forgave me.
I just feel out of control sometimes. I have so much anger still. I need to be more understanding, more caring, more loving, more empathic toward him. I'm not. I'm just a mean, bitchy person who has no control over her temper anymore. It's almost like I don't feel he's done enough penance for all the pain he's caused me, that it hasn't "Evened out" yet. It never will, that's the thing, and it's petty for me to feel that way. I know this.
Most days are good. Some are bad. I know what I need to do and I'm going to do it. I guess I just needed to vent a little (about myself.) Thank you for reading.
:wtf2
