Drug Rehab Options Blog

Hello All,

I am still new to recovery that is for sure about 70 days now. This has been my first holiday season sober for a very long time. I do have some concerns about fairness. My fiance and I spent News Years at home and were asleep before midnight. I am new to this and not sure of all boundaries as of yet. I am a little worried that this lifestyle I am adapting too is a large price for my non-alcoholic fiance to have to pay. In the past we had gone to parties and such and spent time with people. We have discussed that those activities were seldom fun for her then as I was drunk all the time. We also have a one year old little girl in our lives, whom is wonderful. All of these changes are good ones I believe. I felt our NYE was wonderful, we were together as a family and woke up early this AM felt good and just went about our day. Maybe these types of concerns lessen over time as my sobriety time increases and my recovery grows. Not sure if anyone else has felt this way, but I would love some feedback.

Happy 2009
Love,
JT

My outsides, too :)

I started working night shifts this week... it's been a hard adjustment. My family and my fiance are many states away. On Christmas eve, I came back from work in the morning and opened a letter from my landlord telling me that she is losing possession of the house I live in. I need to find alternate housing "in the very near future".

And I have a stomach bug I have been unable to shake this week... I am new in my job and haven't felt able to call in sick. I have been sober from the get-go and am frightened of looking irresponsible/unreliable, to anyone.

I'm scared and lonely. I can't sleep although my body is screaming for it.

Anyone out there?

Hello Bikers in Recovery.

By the grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to take a drink of
alcoholic since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely
grateful.

Good news bikers.....Im Engaged as
of December 12th to a wonderful
man whom my HP placed in my life.

We have been dating since Sept. 22
of last year and enjoying life one
day at a time with help and guidance
from the Man upstairs.

Both of us also practice the principles
of our 12 step program of AA and
living happy joyous and free riding
our Harleys. :)

This afternoon my fiance' took me to
his family for a Christmas get together
and introduce me to them. He also
shared with them of our engagement.

As of today we discussed of possibly
getting married in the Grand Canyon.
When we first met, we both talked
about seeing the Grand Canyon
together sometime down the road.

And now it looks like that would be
an awesome place to get married.

Whatcha think?

Since we both have past marriages,
we both want to keep this one simple
yet very meaningful since we both
r in recovery and have a new out-
look on life.

Grand Canyon....Ive been there yrs
ago with my little family and remember
how Awesome it looked yet i couldnt
enjoy it because of my chemical
imbalance unaddressed.

Today with my imbalance under
control Im now ready to experience
that spectacular sight once again
with the man my HP blessed me with.

Now....since both of us got married
the traditional way the first time in
a church.....we'd like to do this
marriage different.....by the Justice
of the Peace.

This is about as far as we've gotten.

If you have any suggestions of
what to do next, or how you'd
experience this situation if u were
in our shoes, id so much appreciate
your thoughts.

Thanks for letting me share.

So I?ve been on Subutex now for about 4 months. Started in Sept ?08 at 24mgs Suboxone and switched to Subutex after 1 wk because the naltrexone in the subs made me very sick to my stomach and gave me migraines. I?ve gone down to 20 mgs Subutex and I?m now working on cutting to 16mgs, where I will stay for awhile on maintenance. I don?t want to be on the subs for longer than I have too, but long enough that I can learn how to live life drug free, w/o being tempted to pick up ? which the subs REALLY help me with. Here?s the thing though..... ANXIETY!

I?ve never had a huge problem with anxiety, but I do have a hx of panic attacks during life changing events and times of extreme stress. I?ve always been able to control it w/o the use of meds (well benzos for recreation) When I started on the opiates (which turned out to be a nasty 2 yr + habit of what went from about 15-30 5 mg percs a day to 40 or so 50mg tramadol a day) it was somewhat to get rid of new found RLS which I was self medicating, but also just to deal with everyday life. My fiance who has DDD - 3 herniated disks, sciatica the works-- was taking oxy?s and also became addicted when he began abusing the meds. He is now on subs too but may need to eventually do pain mngmt due to his back pain. I knew once I came off everything I would need to learn to deal with ?feeling? again, but it?s been so much harder than I thought! Tramadol is a tricky thing...it does bind ?weakly? to the opiate receptors (mind you I was taking enough to seize a horse) but is also a partial SNRI and messes with serotonin re-uptake. My sub doc rx?ed 75 mg Effexor which I started about 2 wks ago - so far I don?t notice a difference, but I know it has a cumulative effect.

Even with the subs, Tramadol w/d was the worst kick/ pain I have ever felt in my life (of course I?ve w/d and tapered many times from either not having enough pills or getting fed up, etc.) I am SO much happier not on the pills, but I CANNOT for the life of me get my anxiety in check. I bless the subs for the help they are giving me, but what to do about this constant fear that I am going to fail...let alone die? Even the smallest problem turns into a dilemma and of course snowballs into full blown panic and terror. I can be 15 mins late to work and suddenly the world is going to end - and I mean the whole deal. Tunnel vision, tight chest, cold sweats, pangs of terror, light headedness, shakiness...all of it. How do other ppl coming off opiates deal with anxiety....w/o reaching for a handful of pills? I feel like I?ve been given the chance to learn the tools, but I just don?t think I will ever get there - will it ALWAYS be like this??? I don't want to feel like I'm going to have a heart attack each morning when I wake up anymore! I want to smile at the man I love and really be as happy as he makes me!!!

Hi, I just joined this forum and wanted to share my story and see if others have met similar people.
I am 18 years old, my brother is 24. He still lives with us and is addicted to heroin. He has been into drugs since he was 13 and my family members have never believed me. First it was weed, then oxycotton, and now heroin. He physically and sexually abused me for most of my adolescence. Before the heroin he was always a liar, a manipulater, and displayed the character traits of an evil person. Despite all of the pain he has caused my family, he remains the "favorite". My mother (a former alchoholic) is constantly making excuses for him and refuses to acknowledge what he has done to me. I always asked her to stop drinking, and now that she has, she said my brother is the reason she stopped. She has turned to sleeping all day from depression medicine and Tylenol PM now and is suffering from schizophrenia.
My brother has been arrested numerous times for destruction of property, selling drugs, having drugs on him, stealing, etc.
He has court tomorrow for violating his probation and he may go to jail.
Is it wrong that this does not bother me?
He has been in and out of rehab facilities and although I know it works for some people, it does not work for many, including him.
My parents have never given him any boundaries and I believe this is what led to his drug addiction.
Does anyone know of a person like this who changed from jail? No matter what my brother has done to me, I want him to be better. I want him to be a good person and among the flaws in his character, I want him to be clean. I want to see him suceed, and in time I want to be able to forgive him for what he was.
I'm tired of my parents paying so much money to put him in rehab when it does nothing. I'm tired of my brother trying to steal gifts I bought my fiance, a soldier heading to Iraq, for Christmas. I'm tired of having missing DVDs, and I'm so tired of hearing he has stolen yet another piece of my mothers jewlery.
I hope he goes to jail.
Thanks for listening.

Edit / I just realized I posted this in the wrong section, Sorry.

I am have been clean for 1 year from opiates and I'm personally doing pretty good, but my fiance, the man who helped me get clean, is an alcoholic. He won't admit it, and he doesn't want to quit. He moved me out of state to get away from the drugs and without him I probably never would have got clean if it wasn't for him and I want to support him and be there for him like he was me. I wouldn't mind his excessive drinking but when he drinks he becomes a completely different person. He's short tempered, easily offended, and just altogether mean. He is the manager at a liquor store and comes home with a different kind of beer every night. He won't quit his job to get away from the alcohol because the money's too good. He says if he wanted to quit he would. I think deep down he knows he has a problem, he admitted to me once but later denied it. I know whether he drinks or not isn't up to me, and I know he has to want it, but I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. He was there for me when I needed him and he never gave up on me. When i'd wake up at 4 am crying for a pill and he had to get up for work at 6, he'd stay up with me. He spent $3,000 on methadone. I can't give up on him. Any advice on convincing he has a problem, or even just how to tolerate it better? I've started going to bed earlier when he drinks so I'm not awake to see him that way, but there has to be another answer. Any advice??

Hi everyone, I'm new to SR and I need some help. I've been clean and opiate free for almost a year now, all because my fiance moved me out of state. My fiance is an alcoholic. He admitted it to me once but otherwise won't admit it to me. I haven't asked him to. He is a manager at a liquor store and comes home with a new kind of beer every night. He gets paid good there, so he won't quit. When he drinks, he gets mean and I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. He stood by me and helped me get clean and I don't wanna give up on him. If I mention him even cutting back on the beer he gets mad and says he is who he is and he won't change for anyone. What do I do? If he could just admit that he'd have a problem we could go from there but he won't. He's been to meetings, had sponsors and everything else and nothing's worked. I know he won't quit for anyone but himself, and he says if he wanted to quit drinking he would. He has no desire. I don't want to leave him... He's a great person when he's sober. Awesome to be around, fun, and easy going. When he drinks I have to walk on egg shells to avoid him getting mad. Any advice would be appreciated!! Thanks!

Today my RAD turned 23. It has been a long journey. Addict behavoir still sneaks up on her, but she will usually catch it & have some kind of a joke to say. She worked from 4 till 9:30ish wed night waitressing, then went to the halfway house & did 11pm-7am. I didn't realize she would be the only staff member there for the night. gulp. But everything was fine. She slept for a few hours then came here for Thanksgiving dinner, went to her boyfriend (ex fiance) house. She went shopping at 4:30 am with a friend & her boyfriend, then went to work waitressing for the day shift, then worked in the kitchen for the night shift. She is happy as all get out cuz she got a WII on their shopping outing. She will prob crash & burn tomorrow. But it is so nice to see that she has life & friends beyond addiction. Anything is possable. Hang on, your addict children just might surprise you.

All it takes is a little bit of alcohol, and we fight. My fiance and I have thus agreed to have a dry house when it's just the two of us. But! With Thanksgiving fast approaching, said fiance has friends in town that want to come to our house this Wednesday. There will be beer, etc. That makes me nervous! I have always in the past made an excuse to have "just one" drink. Next think you know I'm wasted, happy!, but wasted... and oh so hung over the next day. Today is day two of my sobriety. I'd like to continue to press on ...

I think I may head out of town early to my family's place for Thanksgiving on Wednesday after work. I spoke with my guy about my feelings and he understood why I felt the need to be away from the house if he and his friends were to be drinking.

Simply put, alcohol is like POISON between my guy and I. Even one sip is a bad idea. One sip leads to another.:e136:

I'm sad that we cannot be together this holiday. That because I'm sober, and my guy is not going to be, that I have to create space.

What a lonely feeling.

Hello. :)

I've been toying with the idea of quiting drinking alcohol altogether for years.

Recent Drama:
I was having happy hour drinks with some friends two days ago, then rode my bike home. It was a long trek, and I didn't realize how dang drunk I was until I was almost home. I'm actually worried that parts of the ride I don't even remember. At one point, while peddling up a big ol' hill... I dumped my bike. Suffered a bruised skull, shoulder, hip and knee.

I feel so stupid.
I went into the bar saying to myself, and out loud to the bartender, no hard alcohol. I'm just here for a few beers. Evidently, I cannot control how drunk I get anymore. I'm so upset and worried about that to the point of wanting to quit drinking completely. Not even a glass of wine with dinner. WOW...that thought really bums me out. :(

I haven't had the courage to admit to my fiance that I had been drunk when I fell on my bike. And If I have to lie, I feel things can only get worse.

Today is Day Two. I'm happy about that. Going to stay busy and away from drinking friends and bars this week. If I can stay sober for a week, I'll be proud.