Archive for the ‘Find Job’ tag
The Good and the not so Good
I have not used this forum before though I have been around SR for a while now.
I am very confused and hurt at present and not sure what to do or how to separate all the emotions.
Some Background, sorry about the length.
I have been in recovery for over 3 ½ years and am a member of NA, I work the program to the best of my ability and have recently been making amends. As I do this I notice that I am going through a transformation not unlike a butterfly coming out of its cocoon. Its wonderful a new life is opening up for me, but as I am going through this I am also letting many old things go, some of them don?t want to go, there are mostly the auto or bio-chemical habits and before I can think I am living them and in a few cases acting on them but so far not in any way I cannot put right quickly.
Externally I am also experience many things. I am about to loose my drivers licence for six months because of too many speeding tickets. I was out of work for 3 months, something that has never happened to me before. I ran out of money quickly as I had been using all my spare money to pay of the huge debts I brought into recovery with me, so I went and saw a financial counsellor and he sorted out a stay of my mortgage until January and the two credit cards I have left plus a few other bills. I also started a new job three weeks ago only to discover late last week that the amount the agency had said I was to be paid is $15,000 less than my employer is actually offering and the job agency has now closed down! You got the idea the list goes on, but its highly likely I will loose the house and will have to find another job.
The other thing is that in July this year I confronted my daughter about her behaviour (she is a disease not unlike mine in many ways) and she vanished from my life as did my ex who has been a friend until now, recently I have been talking to my ex again and she says I terroised my daughter. I was panicky at the time and wvery worried and have explained all that in detail, but I think the terrorised thing is stuff coming up from when I was using.
My sponsor says to give her space and I have, but it hurts not to talk to her, not to have contact, not even on my birthday and this Christmas I will spend with friends but without family.
Any sugestions would be welcomed, even the kick up the bum type.
Kevin
I am very confused and hurt at present and not sure what to do or how to separate all the emotions.
Some Background, sorry about the length.
I have been in recovery for over 3 ½ years and am a member of NA, I work the program to the best of my ability and have recently been making amends. As I do this I notice that I am going through a transformation not unlike a butterfly coming out of its cocoon. Its wonderful a new life is opening up for me, but as I am going through this I am also letting many old things go, some of them don?t want to go, there are mostly the auto or bio-chemical habits and before I can think I am living them and in a few cases acting on them but so far not in any way I cannot put right quickly.
Externally I am also experience many things. I am about to loose my drivers licence for six months because of too many speeding tickets. I was out of work for 3 months, something that has never happened to me before. I ran out of money quickly as I had been using all my spare money to pay of the huge debts I brought into recovery with me, so I went and saw a financial counsellor and he sorted out a stay of my mortgage until January and the two credit cards I have left plus a few other bills. I also started a new job three weeks ago only to discover late last week that the amount the agency had said I was to be paid is $15,000 less than my employer is actually offering and the job agency has now closed down! You got the idea the list goes on, but its highly likely I will loose the house and will have to find another job.
The other thing is that in July this year I confronted my daughter about her behaviour (she is a disease not unlike mine in many ways) and she vanished from my life as did my ex who has been a friend until now, recently I have been talking to my ex again and she says I terroised my daughter. I was panicky at the time and wvery worried and have explained all that in detail, but I think the terrorised thing is stuff coming up from when I was using.
My sponsor says to give her space and I have, but it hurts not to talk to her, not to have contact, not even on my birthday and this Christmas I will spend with friends but without family.
Any sugestions would be welcomed, even the kick up the bum type.
Kevin
A sense of entitlement
What I'm dealing with:
My ex is still at my house, sleeping in his son's bedroom. He got out of jail nearly 2 weeks ago. He came over to see his son and he never left. He's not working or making any attempts to find a job. I was trying to be kind and let him stay through his next court date (Dec. 29th) but he?s making it really difficult. I thought he might be able to pitch in and help with a few around the house projects I have ? like caulking the bathrooms ? but he?s really not into it. Twice now, he?s gone out at night, and not come back til the next day.
He?s not using drugs (or so he says, and he doesn?t seem hungover when he gets back) but it?s very disturbing to my son who gets very upset every time his daddy leaves because he is worried that he will never come back. It also really annoys me because I am a fulltime parent and I have yet to catch a break or get an evening out even though his father has come to stay.
At first my son was very concerned everytime his father left the house. He would cry because he didn't think daddy was coming back. So I started telling him that Daddy comes and goes and Daddy is looking for his own house. And his daddy would love him no matter where he lived. And that we would go visit him when he did find his own house. That seems to have quieted his fears a little. And I also think that my son may be catching on to his fathers ways - realizing that his father is totally unreliable. Because , ysterday my son surprised me on the way home from work. He asked if his father would be at home. And then he said "I know momma, he comes and goes."
His father is pretty much a playmate to his son and that's all. I've been very sick so it was helpful to have someone there to entertain my child, but now having him in my house is really starting to annoy me. He lays on the couch and does nothing. He has no initiative. He has this attitude of entitlement and when I ask him what his plans are or I express my frustration to him, he just acts like I?m being a bitch and tells me he?ll find somewhere else to stay. But that?s about it. He hasn't actually made a permanent move to find somewhere else to stay. He just comes and goes when he wants and acts like I?m being a nasty beyatch when I ask him to help out or if he?s going to be around when I get home from work.
He has been hanging with his old "druggie" friends. He says they aren't using anymore. He told his mother that he had to re-acquaint himself with his old friends because I wouldn't let him stay us and he had to find somewhere to live. His mother called and asked me not to argue with him. She's afraid he will go out and use drugs and not come home for a visit after Christmas.
Anyway, sorry to post so long. I need to get this out so I can get a grip and make a move. It's easier to set boundaries and make an action plan when I see how ridiculous the situation looks on paper.
ERGH!
My ex is still at my house, sleeping in his son's bedroom. He got out of jail nearly 2 weeks ago. He came over to see his son and he never left. He's not working or making any attempts to find a job. I was trying to be kind and let him stay through his next court date (Dec. 29th) but he?s making it really difficult. I thought he might be able to pitch in and help with a few around the house projects I have ? like caulking the bathrooms ? but he?s really not into it. Twice now, he?s gone out at night, and not come back til the next day.
He?s not using drugs (or so he says, and he doesn?t seem hungover when he gets back) but it?s very disturbing to my son who gets very upset every time his daddy leaves because he is worried that he will never come back. It also really annoys me because I am a fulltime parent and I have yet to catch a break or get an evening out even though his father has come to stay.
At first my son was very concerned everytime his father left the house. He would cry because he didn't think daddy was coming back. So I started telling him that Daddy comes and goes and Daddy is looking for his own house. And his daddy would love him no matter where he lived. And that we would go visit him when he did find his own house. That seems to have quieted his fears a little. And I also think that my son may be catching on to his fathers ways - realizing that his father is totally unreliable. Because , ysterday my son surprised me on the way home from work. He asked if his father would be at home. And then he said "I know momma, he comes and goes."
His father is pretty much a playmate to his son and that's all. I've been very sick so it was helpful to have someone there to entertain my child, but now having him in my house is really starting to annoy me. He lays on the couch and does nothing. He has no initiative. He has this attitude of entitlement and when I ask him what his plans are or I express my frustration to him, he just acts like I?m being a bitch and tells me he?ll find somewhere else to stay. But that?s about it. He hasn't actually made a permanent move to find somewhere else to stay. He just comes and goes when he wants and acts like I?m being a nasty beyatch when I ask him to help out or if he?s going to be around when I get home from work.
He has been hanging with his old "druggie" friends. He says they aren't using anymore. He told his mother that he had to re-acquaint himself with his old friends because I wouldn't let him stay us and he had to find somewhere to live. His mother called and asked me not to argue with him. She's afraid he will go out and use drugs and not come home for a visit after Christmas.
Anyway, sorry to post so long. I need to get this out so I can get a grip and make a move. It's easier to set boundaries and make an action plan when I see how ridiculous the situation looks on paper.
ERGH!
I just made a decision, too spontaneous???
Hi all,
I believe most of you know that I am a nurse. When AH moved back here 6 months ago we put the house on the market because I wanted to move back to Buffalo. Not surprisingly it didn't sell. With the severe decline in the market and all. So, I took it off the market because I got this job only working weekends with full time pay and benefits. So, I find myself alone here again. I prayed for Gods guidance all last night.
So, today I contacted a different real estate agent and he will be coming by this coming Tuesday. My plan is to put the house on the market and then find a travel nursing job in Buffalo, leaving the house vacant but with all of my belongings here. I set the wheels in motion to apply for my NYS RN liscense and have contacted a travel nursing agency.
I can stay with family instead of the agency putting me up and actually make more by not staying in their housing.
I'm hoping I can do this all by Feb-March. I have some little repairs to do on the house and the agent told me to hold off until he assessed what should be done vs. what is not necessary. I'm excited and stressed at the same time. I KNOW that the best thing for me is to be closer to my family. It will also mean being in the same state as AH, which makes me nervous given the fact that I still love him. So, what do you all think??
I believe most of you know that I am a nurse. When AH moved back here 6 months ago we put the house on the market because I wanted to move back to Buffalo. Not surprisingly it didn't sell. With the severe decline in the market and all. So, I took it off the market because I got this job only working weekends with full time pay and benefits. So, I find myself alone here again. I prayed for Gods guidance all last night.
So, today I contacted a different real estate agent and he will be coming by this coming Tuesday. My plan is to put the house on the market and then find a travel nursing job in Buffalo, leaving the house vacant but with all of my belongings here. I set the wheels in motion to apply for my NYS RN liscense and have contacted a travel nursing agency.
I can stay with family instead of the agency putting me up and actually make more by not staying in their housing.
I'm hoping I can do this all by Feb-March. I have some little repairs to do on the house and the agent told me to hold off until he assessed what should be done vs. what is not necessary. I'm excited and stressed at the same time. I KNOW that the best thing for me is to be closer to my family. It will also mean being in the same state as AH, which makes me nervous given the fact that I still love him. So, what do you all think??
Been a while…
So last time I was here, my ABF was out of jail for a DUI, going to treatment and AA and moving back to San Diego Thanksgiving,where I am. The plan was he was going to stay with me for a bit, find a job, sponser, etc. The closer and closer we get to the date though, the more anxiety I feel about it. He still owes money to the courts, needs to pay to get his license back, get a job, etc. He is really determined to stay sober and I believe him and have faith in him and god that he will. I just feel like he is jumping the gun on this move back though. Of course I want him to be back, but I need to be rational about all of this and do the best thing for him. Ive talked to his sister and she agreed it was premature for him to move this soon and without having averything in place. I guess she just talked to him and he's decided he will stay for the time being. She said he was very emtional, but if he listened to her and decided the best thing was to take of his responsibilities first, doesnt that mean he knew this was the best decission? We havent talked yet and he doesnt know that his sister has told me he is staying. So, I guess Im just writing because I needed a release and some advice regarding what I say when I do talk to him. His biggest reason for wanting to move out here so fast is that he doesnt want to lose me. I guess all I can do is reassure that he is doing the right thing by staying and taking care f his responsibilites first, right? Thanks guys for listening!
:praying
:praying
Nursing profession with a felony?
I have a question. I have done many years as a home health nurse. I really enjoyed it. I got a felony in 2005 for possession of meth and in 2007 a felony for Driving While Revoked. With those felony's on my record I find it very hard to find a job. I have realy wanted to go back to nursing but have heard that you cant work in the nursing field with a felony. Is that true? Is there anyone else that works as a nurse or going to school to be a nurse with a drug felony?
I need a friend (OT)
This has nothing to do with drugs or addiction. I really don't know where to turn to for advice or comfort, I just thought of you guys.
I'm alone again. Jerry went on a bipolar rampage about who my daughter was dating, even though she doesn't even live with us (me now), he said that my kids have been a constant drain on me and he can't watch it any more. Vicky's baby, Tony not being able to find a job, life things. He doesn't like the guy that Vicky is seeing, and he called her all kinds of nasty names, hurtful things about her baby and he expected me to feel that way. When I stood up to him and said I wouldn't listen to the name calling any more, he turned it on me.
It was a horrible horrible fight. I asked him to leave. I'm just so upset right now, I can't even call Vicky or my sister because the fight was about all of my family including them, I don't want them to ever know the things he said.
I keep making excuses for Jerry to myself, he's sick, it's just a bipolar episode, he really didn't mean what he said. But in my heart, I know that some part of him does feel those things.
I'm just heartbroken, again. Somebody please tell me it's going to be alright.
B
I'm alone again. Jerry went on a bipolar rampage about who my daughter was dating, even though she doesn't even live with us (me now), he said that my kids have been a constant drain on me and he can't watch it any more. Vicky's baby, Tony not being able to find a job, life things. He doesn't like the guy that Vicky is seeing, and he called her all kinds of nasty names, hurtful things about her baby and he expected me to feel that way. When I stood up to him and said I wouldn't listen to the name calling any more, he turned it on me.
It was a horrible horrible fight. I asked him to leave. I'm just so upset right now, I can't even call Vicky or my sister because the fight was about all of my family including them, I don't want them to ever know the things he said.
I keep making excuses for Jerry to myself, he's sick, it's just a bipolar episode, he really didn't mean what he said. But in my heart, I know that some part of him does feel those things.
I'm just heartbroken, again. Somebody please tell me it's going to be alright.
B
please send me some encouragement…….taking son to halfway house
friends,
we leave tomorrow to drive to pick up my son on Wednesday Oct. 21. He will be leaving rehab after 10 months and proceeding to a halfway house (we take him) in Atlanta, Georgia. The environment seems to be very structured from all that I have read. He will need to go on five job interviews per day.
I am anxious but at the same time hopeful. I am proud that he has achieved being ten months clean. I want him to have a better life and hope that he will be able to find a job that will enable him to stay in the halfway house. We are willinging to pay for a period of time as long as he abides by the rules and tries to seek employment.
It has been a long journey for our family.........at time heart breaking. Please say a prayer for our family and my son that the transition will be something that he can handle. It will be a big step for him.
Thank you for any feedback. I am just thankful for all of you who have supported me.
Sincerely, dixied
we leave tomorrow to drive to pick up my son on Wednesday Oct. 21. He will be leaving rehab after 10 months and proceeding to a halfway house (we take him) in Atlanta, Georgia. The environment seems to be very structured from all that I have read. He will need to go on five job interviews per day.
I am anxious but at the same time hopeful. I am proud that he has achieved being ten months clean. I want him to have a better life and hope that he will be able to find a job that will enable him to stay in the halfway house. We are willinging to pay for a period of time as long as he abides by the rules and tries to seek employment.
It has been a long journey for our family.........at time heart breaking. Please say a prayer for our family and my son that the transition will be something that he can handle. It will be a big step for him.
Thank you for any feedback. I am just thankful for all of you who have supported me.
Sincerely, dixied
Why do I let this happen over and over??
If you read my past threads you will find that I am struggling trying to let go of someone who pretty much just uses me to get what he wants. I have let this guy walk all over me. I don't understand why I do this??? He stole money from me 3 years ago and just did it again last weekend. He swears up and down that he didnt but I know that he did. After I accused him, he blew up and became verbally abusive and left. Now, a week later he is begging me for money to go and get something to pass a drug test with. After listening to all of his manipulations and rationalizations about why and everything, I DID!! How stupid? He grad college and for the past 3 months has been trying to find a job. Why do I give in to him all the time? I can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. He lies all the time. We have been seeing each other off and on for 4 years. It's so complicated. I know, I know, shame on me for allowing him to use me over and over. There is so much more to tell but you get the idea. I care about him so much but I know that this is unhealthy and needs to stop. Any suggestions on HOW TO LET GO and find peace?? I keep telling myself I can't do this anymore but keep doing. I wish things would end peacefully but everytime something happens one of us gets mad and leaves. I left saturday morning after getting upset that he didnt want to spend the day with me. I haven't tried calling or texting and haven't heard from him either. I am getting tired of all this and don't know how much more I can take. I worry about him all the time and feel that he is heading for a train wreck if he doesn't change his ways. Time and time again, he will say he is changing and has stopped smoking pot and is growing up but then he turns around and keeps doing the same things. He will be 24 years old in January but tells me that he is just a Kid!!! I am older. This is driving me CRAZY!!!!!!
Please Say a Prayer For My Son
Joey called me yesterday & it seems he has an interview Friday for a job selling cars. This is his field & he is really excited, but since he doesn't have a drivers license & is a convicted felon ( from walking away from Wk Release once, he got an Escape Charge ) it is hard for him to find a job in this field.
Please say a prayer that if this is God's will for his life they give him a chance.
I did see a big change in his attitude for the better, as when I asked him how long he has to stay in Wk Release he said " Mom I don't know & I don't care. At least I can go to work & I'm not in jail" This is a real change of attitude for my son.
Thank you all,
Diane
Please say a prayer that if this is God's will for his life they give him a chance.
I did see a big change in his attitude for the better, as when I asked him how long he has to stay in Wk Release he said " Mom I don't know & I don't care. At least I can go to work & I'm not in jail" This is a real change of attitude for my son.
Thank you all,
Diane
