Archive for the ‘First Few Days’ tag
suuper aggravated, feeling like breaking things, puffy as all hell, and barely sober
well, let me just explain: i guess you could say i am the epitome of cross addictied. i have been diagnosed with anorexia, bulimia, drug addiction, and alcoholism...along with the standard mental disorders of social anxiety, PTSD, and depression. having said that, alcoholism is the main evil of the moment. really, i can't make it for two days without flying into a rage and heading for the liquor store. and i do *try*...but the irritability that comes along with the withdrawls is too much to bear sometimes. also, i read some previous posts about the alcohol and facial puffiness *which i cannot stand*...i notice it most the first few days of withdrawl and as someone with an eating disorder i am aware that i am waayyy too sensitive as to what other people think of me. HOWEVER, one comment on how bloated my face looks and BAM, it's back to the vodka bottle. you all seem to have a lot of strengh and i know you don't have "all the answers", but if you all could give me advice on how you got throught that initial month of sobriety (most i've had is 2 weeks in the past 2 years) i would love to hear it. thanks!!
12 days dry, no cravings, no withdrawal
I am hitting two weeks on Monday. My first post was 3 days and I still lived and breathed thoughts of alcohol. For those that don't know, I'm in an oilfield camp in Canada for three weeks. It's an alcohol free camp. They make them that way for two reasons in case your curious. First off is that they want no excuses as to poor work quality in the day. Secondly, we have no security, and everyone needs to be an adult without fights, and mayhem.
Anyways, I have no thoughts of alcohol at all, ever. I don't even care if someone drinks on TV, or the movies.My first few days of this journey and all I thought about was the whole world drinking but me. You know what, that just isn't true. Millions don't believe in alcohol. Athletes don't drink, for one. My last night drinking, and I knew it was my last night. I had no interest in a farewell to a good friend on the last night. I wanted to hate booze. I wanted to curse alcohol. I never did throw up, but oh boy a few blackouts, a walk home in the rain from a bar. I messed up my shoulder from a fall, bruised my leg really bad, and scratched my nose bad. My wife said she went looking in the car around 2 am, and found me with a friend, all bloodied up, wet, and out of it. I don't remember anything, but I do remember what a nasty day I had that day. Social drinkers get hangovers, and they are childs play to what we drunks call withdrawal symptoms. I had a fever, sweats, nausea, dry heaves, hot flashes, twitches, and the shakes. Oh what a glorious day, but you know what. I never said goodbye to an old friend that day. I cursed alcohol as a new sworn enemy for what it did to me, and the last 7 years. All the times I wanted to go play golf, but I let it win and I drank on hot sunny days in the early afternoon. How about all the times my wife begged me to see a movie at the theatre, and I had a thousand excuses, but the only real reason was that it cut into drinking time. I could go on and on.
I am just so thankful that I only had one crappy day, and no withdrawal symptoms. I read about the torture, the drugs for it, and everything else. I have no cravings at all, nor any withdrawal. I know that I am done with booze. I know this because every other time, I had one drink and thought I was in control. I was going to be a moderation drinker. I finally realized, it's NOT EVEN 1. I can't say it enough to anyone who thinks they have it under control now. NOT EVEN 1!!!!
I have a confession though. I am eating strawberries, watermelon, melon, grapes, and kiwi every morning for breakfast. I have no simple carbohydrates like breads, or pasta, at all. I eat very low fat, high protein meats, with salads and no dressings. I am hitting the weights in the gym a lot, and doing a lot of cardio. Then nighttime comes and I just can't help myself, I had cheesecake yesterday(cherry, and thick cheesecake, not that wimpy fluffy stuff). Today, I had apple pie. Yah, I know, nice diet huh. Temple by day, and amusement park by night. That's it, no more treats until next weekend. I heard that alcohol was a craving for sugar. No alcohol, craving pastry, maybe it's true. That Susan, exercise freak(California, USA) wrote a book on alcohol being a sugar craving, didn't she.
So, what is the deal on me not wanting booze in the slightest, and no withdrawal. I drank a 26 oz, or 750 ml of vodka everyday, usually with 5-10 beer. How can I be feeling so good after 1 day of hell when I hear so many horror stories??? Sobriety just came so easy for me, maybe I just finally hit my low of lows. All I know is that I am so excited to kick that beast, and begin to live again. :Dance7:
Anyways, I have no thoughts of alcohol at all, ever. I don't even care if someone drinks on TV, or the movies.My first few days of this journey and all I thought about was the whole world drinking but me. You know what, that just isn't true. Millions don't believe in alcohol. Athletes don't drink, for one. My last night drinking, and I knew it was my last night. I had no interest in a farewell to a good friend on the last night. I wanted to hate booze. I wanted to curse alcohol. I never did throw up, but oh boy a few blackouts, a walk home in the rain from a bar. I messed up my shoulder from a fall, bruised my leg really bad, and scratched my nose bad. My wife said she went looking in the car around 2 am, and found me with a friend, all bloodied up, wet, and out of it. I don't remember anything, but I do remember what a nasty day I had that day. Social drinkers get hangovers, and they are childs play to what we drunks call withdrawal symptoms. I had a fever, sweats, nausea, dry heaves, hot flashes, twitches, and the shakes. Oh what a glorious day, but you know what. I never said goodbye to an old friend that day. I cursed alcohol as a new sworn enemy for what it did to me, and the last 7 years. All the times I wanted to go play golf, but I let it win and I drank on hot sunny days in the early afternoon. How about all the times my wife begged me to see a movie at the theatre, and I had a thousand excuses, but the only real reason was that it cut into drinking time. I could go on and on.
I am just so thankful that I only had one crappy day, and no withdrawal symptoms. I read about the torture, the drugs for it, and everything else. I have no cravings at all, nor any withdrawal. I know that I am done with booze. I know this because every other time, I had one drink and thought I was in control. I was going to be a moderation drinker. I finally realized, it's NOT EVEN 1. I can't say it enough to anyone who thinks they have it under control now. NOT EVEN 1!!!!
I have a confession though. I am eating strawberries, watermelon, melon, grapes, and kiwi every morning for breakfast. I have no simple carbohydrates like breads, or pasta, at all. I eat very low fat, high protein meats, with salads and no dressings. I am hitting the weights in the gym a lot, and doing a lot of cardio. Then nighttime comes and I just can't help myself, I had cheesecake yesterday(cherry, and thick cheesecake, not that wimpy fluffy stuff). Today, I had apple pie. Yah, I know, nice diet huh. Temple by day, and amusement park by night. That's it, no more treats until next weekend. I heard that alcohol was a craving for sugar. No alcohol, craving pastry, maybe it's true. That Susan, exercise freak(California, USA) wrote a book on alcohol being a sugar craving, didn't she.
So, what is the deal on me not wanting booze in the slightest, and no withdrawal. I drank a 26 oz, or 750 ml of vodka everyday, usually with 5-10 beer. How can I be feeling so good after 1 day of hell when I hear so many horror stories??? Sobriety just came so easy for me, maybe I just finally hit my low of lows. All I know is that I am so excited to kick that beast, and begin to live again. :Dance7:
Heading into 90 days at 90 miles per hour
I found SR very close to my sober day, in fact I was basically making my decision to stay sober during my first few days with the forum. I've spent almost all my time at SR in the New to Addiction and Recover section and I've benefited from some great support and tried to give some in return. On the last day I drank (July 12th 2008) I had my first black out after decades of binge drinking and it really got my attention. Things had been getting worse and worse over the last couple years, and especially the last 10 months or so before July. I'm not an AA person and I don't intend to go to AA meetings but I do see the value in much of the program.
As I'm approaching 90 days without alcohol it feels like I'm in newly dangerous territory so I'm opening this thread here because I think it will reach an audience that includes a variety of lengths of experience with sobriety. I'll also let my friends in the Class of July 2008 know of this thread.
Here's what's going on any given day lately. These don't all happen at the same time, but some of them do. Some are in conflict with each other.
1. I'm thinking that I'm good at this and maybe I don't have as bad of a problem as I thought I did.
2. Ninety days seems like a lot which makes me think of this long term, rather than one day at time.
3. Alcohol advertising is getting me irritated more often lately. Even worse, the movies and shows that have everyone turning to drink when times go bad or when they want to have fun.
4. There are way too many drinking/drug/party songs!!! Do you ever get to the point where you can enjoy them because they're otherwise good songs?
None of this is new ground to you or to me but it seems different/worse right now. I don't have strong urges to drink, and rarely even get medium urges, but....I don't know....it seems like I should be happier.
Is it common to hit this point in the road around 90 days? For those that hit this at 90 or at some other amount of time I'd appreciate knowing how you did it.
Thanks for reading this far down.
As I'm approaching 90 days without alcohol it feels like I'm in newly dangerous territory so I'm opening this thread here because I think it will reach an audience that includes a variety of lengths of experience with sobriety. I'll also let my friends in the Class of July 2008 know of this thread.
Here's what's going on any given day lately. These don't all happen at the same time, but some of them do. Some are in conflict with each other.
1. I'm thinking that I'm good at this and maybe I don't have as bad of a problem as I thought I did.
2. Ninety days seems like a lot which makes me think of this long term, rather than one day at time.
3. Alcohol advertising is getting me irritated more often lately. Even worse, the movies and shows that have everyone turning to drink when times go bad or when they want to have fun.
4. There are way too many drinking/drug/party songs!!! Do you ever get to the point where you can enjoy them because they're otherwise good songs?
None of this is new ground to you or to me but it seems different/worse right now. I don't have strong urges to drink, and rarely even get medium urges, but....I don't know....it seems like I should be happier.
Is it common to hit this point in the road around 90 days? For those that hit this at 90 or at some other amount of time I'd appreciate knowing how you did it.
Thanks for reading this far down.
Hi, my teen started at the methadone clinic
Hi Everyone,
I am new and am glad i found this forum when trying to find information on methadone and the signs and symptoms of its usage (in a controlled environment). My 18 year old has been addicted to oxycontin for quite some time and rather than going into an inpatient facility, she agreed to go to outpatient methadone treatment at a local methadone clinic.
Monday was her first day at the clinic, and her first day without oxycontin. Amazingly enough, for the first few days, she was in great spirits and was very happy. Nearly back to her "old self" again after months of smoking oxycontin. For the past two days, her dosage of methadone now increased to 50mg, she looks like she is totally loaded, dozing off, her eyes are puffy, red, with pinpoint pupils. Being totally new to dealing with an addict, last night I accused her of being loaded on something else besides her Methadone. She looked and behaved just like she does when she comes home after having "smoked beans."
I am hoping to find support on here. I just don't know how to interact with her while she is going to treatment and if she relapses. I also don't know if she is being given too much methadone. When I told her I was concerned about her dosage being too high, she admitted that she thinks 50 mg is too much and that she feels like she is using the oxycontin. She is just 5'3 weighing 100 pounds.
I am just so worried about her. Thank you for listening.
357G
I am new and am glad i found this forum when trying to find information on methadone and the signs and symptoms of its usage (in a controlled environment). My 18 year old has been addicted to oxycontin for quite some time and rather than going into an inpatient facility, she agreed to go to outpatient methadone treatment at a local methadone clinic.
Monday was her first day at the clinic, and her first day without oxycontin. Amazingly enough, for the first few days, she was in great spirits and was very happy. Nearly back to her "old self" again after months of smoking oxycontin. For the past two days, her dosage of methadone now increased to 50mg, she looks like she is totally loaded, dozing off, her eyes are puffy, red, with pinpoint pupils. Being totally new to dealing with an addict, last night I accused her of being loaded on something else besides her Methadone. She looked and behaved just like she does when she comes home after having "smoked beans."
I am hoping to find support on here. I just don't know how to interact with her while she is going to treatment and if she relapses. I also don't know if she is being given too much methadone. When I told her I was concerned about her dosage being too high, she admitted that she thinks 50 mg is too much and that she feels like she is using the oxycontin. She is just 5'3 weighing 100 pounds.
I am just so worried about her. Thank you for listening.
357G
Update on the Changes in My Life
Hi Everyone
I don't know if anyone noticed but I haven't been on SR much over the past several weeks. I have had a great deal going on in my life but, by the Grace of God, I am still Clean & Sober.
I've shared that my Mom has been in poor health now and in an Assisted Living Facility for about a year. About three weeks ago, the remnents of the hurricanes swept through Ohio in the form of severe wind storms that left most of the state without any electricity or phone service due to trees that took out power lines. Many went for week or more without any electricity. I was one of the few people who was Blessed to not have lost any power, phone or cable service. I found out the next day that the facility my Mom lived in did not have a back up generator or any emergency plan in place so when we could get past the downed power lines in the roads, I went and got my Mom and brought her back to my house. She had a urinary track infection and wasn't acting right when I got her. It got worse so a few days later, I called 911 and she was hospitalized. She had such a bad infection that it had went throughout her entire body to the point that her kidneys began to shut down and she was passing a great deal of blood. It didn't look good. Mom was in critical condition and I thought we were going to lose her.
Over the first few days, I discovered that Mom wasn't getting the insulin that she needed to be on. She developed Diabetes in Feb., due to the many years on Prednisone, which is a steroid, for treatment of Rheumatoid Arthritis. The medical staff at the facility had been telling us that her sugar was so stable that she only required Lantus at night. We discovered that that was not the case and her sugar was out of control, which added another serious problem to her already poor health.
Mom spent over two and a half weeks in the hospital and throughout this I realized that she was not being care for and I would not take her back to this facility. Thanks to these problems, she now requires 24 hour care. I have moved Mom in with me. I am going to be caring for her until the time comes for her to leave this earth. I haven't been working due to my own health issues and my Dr. has told me that I need to file for my Disability, I will never be able to return to work. This was very hard for me to accept, I'm only 46 year old but my Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Osteoarthritis and heart problems have gotten to the point that I can't work. Mom needs round the clock care and I can give it to her so that's where I'm at now.
Mom was released from the hospital on Tues and has been here with me since. She's doing quite well, but boy, am I exhausted at the end of the day. I have to make sure to check her sugar 4X a day, give her insulin injections, keep her on a well balanced diet, make sure she has plenty of fluids, give her her showers, empty her bedside commode that I got for her, keep up with the private nurse schedules as well as physical therapy. I am learning to help her with certain exercises that we hope will keep her joints from deteoriating any further than they already are. I never stop.
But to me, this is my way of thanking my Mom for all the years that she put me and my brother and sister before any of her on needs. Mom has always been the kind of lady who thought about others first, especially her own kids. She stood by me and never gave up on me those 32 years that I was getting high and drinking. She never gave up on me . . . so I won't give up on her. I have promised myself that if the time comes where it's too much for me and cannot care for her in a way that she needs, I will have to put her into a Nursing Home. I hate to even entertain that thought as something that very well could happen.I am still able to get to some Meetings, which I will always need. My Aunt comes over a few times a week so I can go which I am forever grateful to have her come so I continue to do what I need to do for me.
I'm hoping that everyone who reads this asks that God watch over Mom and minimize her pain and suffering.
Thanks,
Judy
I don't know if anyone noticed but I haven't been on SR much over the past several weeks. I have had a great deal going on in my life but, by the Grace of God, I am still Clean & Sober.
I've shared that my Mom has been in poor health now and in an Assisted Living Facility for about a year. About three weeks ago, the remnents of the hurricanes swept through Ohio in the form of severe wind storms that left most of the state without any electricity or phone service due to trees that took out power lines. Many went for week or more without any electricity. I was one of the few people who was Blessed to not have lost any power, phone or cable service. I found out the next day that the facility my Mom lived in did not have a back up generator or any emergency plan in place so when we could get past the downed power lines in the roads, I went and got my Mom and brought her back to my house. She had a urinary track infection and wasn't acting right when I got her. It got worse so a few days later, I called 911 and she was hospitalized. She had such a bad infection that it had went throughout her entire body to the point that her kidneys began to shut down and she was passing a great deal of blood. It didn't look good. Mom was in critical condition and I thought we were going to lose her.
Over the first few days, I discovered that Mom wasn't getting the insulin that she needed to be on. She developed Diabetes in Feb., due to the many years on Prednisone, which is a steroid, for treatment of Rheumatoid Arthritis. The medical staff at the facility had been telling us that her sugar was so stable that she only required Lantus at night. We discovered that that was not the case and her sugar was out of control, which added another serious problem to her already poor health.
Mom spent over two and a half weeks in the hospital and throughout this I realized that she was not being care for and I would not take her back to this facility. Thanks to these problems, she now requires 24 hour care. I have moved Mom in with me. I am going to be caring for her until the time comes for her to leave this earth. I haven't been working due to my own health issues and my Dr. has told me that I need to file for my Disability, I will never be able to return to work. This was very hard for me to accept, I'm only 46 year old but my Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Osteoarthritis and heart problems have gotten to the point that I can't work. Mom needs round the clock care and I can give it to her so that's where I'm at now.
Mom was released from the hospital on Tues and has been here with me since. She's doing quite well, but boy, am I exhausted at the end of the day. I have to make sure to check her sugar 4X a day, give her insulin injections, keep her on a well balanced diet, make sure she has plenty of fluids, give her her showers, empty her bedside commode that I got for her, keep up with the private nurse schedules as well as physical therapy. I am learning to help her with certain exercises that we hope will keep her joints from deteoriating any further than they already are. I never stop.
But to me, this is my way of thanking my Mom for all the years that she put me and my brother and sister before any of her on needs. Mom has always been the kind of lady who thought about others first, especially her own kids. She stood by me and never gave up on me those 32 years that I was getting high and drinking. She never gave up on me . . . so I won't give up on her. I have promised myself that if the time comes where it's too much for me and cannot care for her in a way that she needs, I will have to put her into a Nursing Home. I hate to even entertain that thought as something that very well could happen.I am still able to get to some Meetings, which I will always need. My Aunt comes over a few times a week so I can go which I am forever grateful to have her come so I continue to do what I need to do for me.
I'm hoping that everyone who reads this asks that God watch over Mom and minimize her pain and suffering.
Thanks,
Judy
Suggestions welcome;back to square 1 again
Instead of going straight home last night I ran to the store and on the way back I stopped at the pub and honestly I can only vaguely remember my rationale for it. Is that what they call "the curious mental twist"? I remember thinking that my medication isn't supposed to be effective for another 5 days, so what would the harm be in a couple while I'm waiting for it to start working. Believe me, the idea made excellent sense last night, so I proceeded to tie a healthy one on and spend money I can't afford to spend. So here I sit, feeling like I have a screwdriver stabbing me in the temple and feeling all shakey. The stupidity of it is more than a little frustrating. Not that I'm beating myself up for it; I did what comes natural to an alcoholic, it just irks me a bit that I did. Not much else I can do except do it different today. Do you guys and gals have some recommendations from what you did to get through those first few days? I'm having a really hard time of it.
Checking in on day 2
Good Morning all,
Well once noon hits I'll have the longest period of sobriety I've had in probably 2-3 years. it's only 24 hours, but it's a start. It's amazing to wake up after a nght of NOT drinking! I'm taking comprol, which im hoping will help wth the urges; hear it takes 5-7 days to become fully effective. I may hit a meeting tonight. My plan was just to go straight home for the first few days; it helps with combat the urge to stop off at one of my hangouts 'just to say hello'. I tell ya....changing a well established lifestyle sucks rocks.
-Scoob
Well once noon hits I'll have the longest period of sobriety I've had in probably 2-3 years. it's only 24 hours, but it's a start. It's amazing to wake up after a nght of NOT drinking! I'm taking comprol, which im hoping will help wth the urges; hear it takes 5-7 days to become fully effective. I may hit a meeting tonight. My plan was just to go straight home for the first few days; it helps with combat the urge to stop off at one of my hangouts 'just to say hello'. I tell ya....changing a well established lifestyle sucks rocks.
-Scoob
Day 4 - I’m Scared.
This is my 4th day sober now.
Quick background: I went to the public alcohol service that recommended I stop drinking as soon as possible. They are prescribing me with naltrexone but in the meantime recommend I go to my GP for detox assistance because it could take a while for the funding to come through. He told me to tell him that it should be supervised detox probably with vallium, and that I'd need to take some time off work. He said he was only not admitting me into residential because my (wonderful) partner was with me and is here to hold my hand.
My GP said 'oh no, thats over the top, heres some sleeping pills and a weeks worth of child strength antidepressants, you'll be fine, just carry on as normal.'
-----------------------------------------------------------
The first few days were okay, having trouble concentrating, cant remember large parts of the days, thats okay...
but last night I had trouble sleeping, I woke up to *seizures at least 6 times, I'm exhausted. So I had a quick sleep in thismorning but seizured out of that too. Ive been up for 4 hours now and have had no problems apart from being tired. I'm dont want to go throught this again tonight. At one stage last night I was really scared that I was going to continue like this for the rest of my life and have to be institutionalised.
*petit-mal/complex partial seizures (no shaking)
Has anyone else experienced this? Does it go away soon?
Quick background: I went to the public alcohol service that recommended I stop drinking as soon as possible. They are prescribing me with naltrexone but in the meantime recommend I go to my GP for detox assistance because it could take a while for the funding to come through. He told me to tell him that it should be supervised detox probably with vallium, and that I'd need to take some time off work. He said he was only not admitting me into residential because my (wonderful) partner was with me and is here to hold my hand.
My GP said 'oh no, thats over the top, heres some sleeping pills and a weeks worth of child strength antidepressants, you'll be fine, just carry on as normal.'
-----------------------------------------------------------
The first few days were okay, having trouble concentrating, cant remember large parts of the days, thats okay...
but last night I had trouble sleeping, I woke up to *seizures at least 6 times, I'm exhausted. So I had a quick sleep in thismorning but seizured out of that too. Ive been up for 4 hours now and have had no problems apart from being tired. I'm dont want to go throught this again tonight. At one stage last night I was really scared that I was going to continue like this for the rest of my life and have to be institutionalised.
*petit-mal/complex partial seizures (no shaking)
Has anyone else experienced this? Does it go away soon?
