Archive for the ‘Five Months’ tag
When you don’t feel their actions are enough
So I realize that AH will follow his own path to recovery, and I will do the same.
But....
I'm struggling with the fact that I am the one diving into information/resources about alcoholism, and AH is not.
He has been sober for five months, vowed to stop drinking, is seeing a counselor, and is rekindling old hobbies and interests. AH will not go to AA, he is not a reader, and he will not utilize online support boards. He has no sponsor and no buddies to talk to about this.
I look at him and think "do you really get it?"
How can you become sober if you don't learn about alcoholism? :scratchhead:
I know, I know....all I can do is focus on me. I am. And part of that focus is trying to figure out if I want to stay married to someone who doesn't appear to be taking the "necessary" steps.
make sense?
But....
I'm struggling with the fact that I am the one diving into information/resources about alcoholism, and AH is not.
He has been sober for five months, vowed to stop drinking, is seeing a counselor, and is rekindling old hobbies and interests. AH will not go to AA, he is not a reader, and he will not utilize online support boards. He has no sponsor and no buddies to talk to about this.
I look at him and think "do you really get it?"
How can you become sober if you don't learn about alcoholism? :scratchhead:
I know, I know....all I can do is focus on me. I am. And part of that focus is trying to figure out if I want to stay married to someone who doesn't appear to be taking the "necessary" steps.
make sense?
Coming up on five months sober
and want to thank everyone here for your constant support and love. I'm constantly amazed to have gotten so far, and to keep moving forward one sober day at a time. I may have been able to 'do it' without you, but it would have been a lot harder and not as much fun. Being a member of the SR family means so much to me. You are my safe harbor from the storm of alcoholism. Thank you for being there and for having faith in me when I had none in myself.
:ghug3:ghug3:ghug3
:ghug3:ghug3:ghug3
jumping off lorazepam
I was taking 1mg lorazepam at bedtime for about five months to help me sleep. It stopped working so about four days ago I stopped.
Insomnia, clammy sweats in bed, but I feel good, less anxious than usual. First night was bad because I had a toke thinking it would be a good substitute. Wrong! But since then despite the sleeplessness my mind seems more clear.
Since then I've read I should be tapering, but since my symptoms are relatively mild, I'm wondering if maybe I'm one of the lucky ones who will have an easy withdrawal.
OR! Is it going to take a week or two for the bad part to start?
Insomnia, clammy sweats in bed, but I feel good, less anxious than usual. First night was bad because I had a toke thinking it would be a good substitute. Wrong! But since then despite the sleeplessness my mind seems more clear.
Since then I've read I should be tapering, but since my symptoms are relatively mild, I'm wondering if maybe I'm one of the lucky ones who will have an easy withdrawal.
OR! Is it going to take a week or two for the bad part to start?
What does a hair test reveal?
Can you guys tell me what is revealed by a drug test that uses a hair sample?
The guy who runs the supervision company that is supervising my sister's visitation with her daughter has asked us if we would consider paying for her to have a hair test to either prove or disprove that she has a drug problem.
This is because my sister claims she is drug free and has been for five months.
I don't know if my sister is still using street drugs but I'm inclined to think she is not. My bigger concern is that I believe she abuses and overuses her prescription medications.
I don't want to pay for a hair test that will just show she's not using crack thereby proving she's ready to parent her daughter. Likewise if the drug test will only show that she uses a legal prescription it is of no use to me.
Will a hair test prove or disprove if she is ABUSING prescription medication? Also, will the fact she dyes her hair affect the outcome of a test?
Thanks in advance for any input!
Lisa :)
The guy who runs the supervision company that is supervising my sister's visitation with her daughter has asked us if we would consider paying for her to have a hair test to either prove or disprove that she has a drug problem.
This is because my sister claims she is drug free and has been for five months.
I don't know if my sister is still using street drugs but I'm inclined to think she is not. My bigger concern is that I believe she abuses and overuses her prescription medications.
I don't want to pay for a hair test that will just show she's not using crack thereby proving she's ready to parent her daughter. Likewise if the drug test will only show that she uses a legal prescription it is of no use to me.
Will a hair test prove or disprove if she is ABUSING prescription medication? Also, will the fact she dyes her hair affect the outcome of a test?
Thanks in advance for any input!
Lisa :)
Ready to get out of the weed trap
Hello -
I am on day one of no more weed. I have been using marijuana mostly regularly since I was 15. I am now 42 and I no longer want to be a 42 year-old pot head, though my use has slowed down somewhat in that I always just used a little through a vaporizer. But enough's enough. I would be able to go two days and then I'd be fiending for some.
I finally ran out, cannot afford to get any, and don't want any. I could say, "well, i can just smoke it if someone offers it to me," but I know that will lead to me wanting to buy some again. It always has.
I also suffer from depression and have always made this drug part of my cocktail and sometimes I feel miserable and things and then I smoke a little and it's like my mind opens up and I can get a perspective on things or a "grip," but eventually I come down off of that and I am wondering if maybe this has not been exacerbating my depression.
I have a very obsessive mind, too and I am not sure the weed has been helping me. I obsess on things for whole months at times.
I ended a relationship with a 56 year-old pot head about five months ago. He is a "high functioning" pot-head though, and makes good money running his own business and is a successful DJ too that everyone loves in the electronic music scene, but I can tell it is messing with him anyway.
During any argument he was totally irrational, not willing to accept any responsibility for anything, he was somewhat deceitful and of course, everything was all my fault in the end.
I have had a hard time detaching from this relationship, but in deciding to quit weed, I feel it gives me even more of a reason to stay away from this person (at least for a long time as a friend or fellow collaborator for now).
I never would have been able to quit weed if I were still with him.
I have been wanting to quit weed for a lot of years on a deep level. At the same time, I feel it has been one of my best friends and I am not sure how I am going to cope without it.
I have been using it to mask a lot of life stress and depression and loneliness. I use it to change my mood, but wonder if it isn't messing wtih my mood even more.
I suffer from chronic pain and severe headaches as well and was about to go and get a medical marijuana card. But seriously, I can't just use it medicinally, so that is no longer an option.
I am involved in a "scene" of a lot of artists and DJ's and the like and just about everyone I know smokes a LOT of weed. And that's just normal for them. A lot of them are also into doing harder drugs much too often - E, acid, and coke mainly.
I'm just at the point where I am sick of watching everyone get totally baked all the time as if they can't get through a day without it. And most of these people smoke way more than I did.
I used a vaporizer, which just made what I had last longer. I am glad it is gone, but I have historically not been able to get through much more than a couple of weeks w/out weed.
The summer before last, I managed to quit for three weeks and I felt a sense of poise and clarity for a while, though I was uptight a lot and anxious. I think the hard thing will be not being used to feeling clear and present.
I am also not a high-functioning pot-head due to my other problems, so I need all the extra energy I can get if I want to get through life and really go after the things I want.
I also realized that if I truly want a healthy relationship, then I need to leave my options open and would just as soon find someone who doesn't smoke pot at all. I will never get that chance if I am still at it.
I just feel lonely a lot and that I have failed a lot in life though I have beat other addictions. I can beat this one too. I really hope I can stick with it.
I do not really like the whole 12-step thing too well and have always felt fundamentally at odds with the roots of it and the religious connotations, but I am thinking of going to some NA meetings just to get some support and give me a place to go when I feel like I can't take it anymore. I know this is going to be hard and if i can pull it off, I know my life will change for the better, ultimately.
Thanks for listening.
Cat
I am on day one of no more weed. I have been using marijuana mostly regularly since I was 15. I am now 42 and I no longer want to be a 42 year-old pot head, though my use has slowed down somewhat in that I always just used a little through a vaporizer. But enough's enough. I would be able to go two days and then I'd be fiending for some.
I finally ran out, cannot afford to get any, and don't want any. I could say, "well, i can just smoke it if someone offers it to me," but I know that will lead to me wanting to buy some again. It always has.
I also suffer from depression and have always made this drug part of my cocktail and sometimes I feel miserable and things and then I smoke a little and it's like my mind opens up and I can get a perspective on things or a "grip," but eventually I come down off of that and I am wondering if maybe this has not been exacerbating my depression.
I have a very obsessive mind, too and I am not sure the weed has been helping me. I obsess on things for whole months at times.
I ended a relationship with a 56 year-old pot head about five months ago. He is a "high functioning" pot-head though, and makes good money running his own business and is a successful DJ too that everyone loves in the electronic music scene, but I can tell it is messing with him anyway.
During any argument he was totally irrational, not willing to accept any responsibility for anything, he was somewhat deceitful and of course, everything was all my fault in the end.
I have had a hard time detaching from this relationship, but in deciding to quit weed, I feel it gives me even more of a reason to stay away from this person (at least for a long time as a friend or fellow collaborator for now).
I never would have been able to quit weed if I were still with him.
I have been wanting to quit weed for a lot of years on a deep level. At the same time, I feel it has been one of my best friends and I am not sure how I am going to cope without it.
I have been using it to mask a lot of life stress and depression and loneliness. I use it to change my mood, but wonder if it isn't messing wtih my mood even more.
I suffer from chronic pain and severe headaches as well and was about to go and get a medical marijuana card. But seriously, I can't just use it medicinally, so that is no longer an option.
I am involved in a "scene" of a lot of artists and DJ's and the like and just about everyone I know smokes a LOT of weed. And that's just normal for them. A lot of them are also into doing harder drugs much too often - E, acid, and coke mainly.
I'm just at the point where I am sick of watching everyone get totally baked all the time as if they can't get through a day without it. And most of these people smoke way more than I did.
I used a vaporizer, which just made what I had last longer. I am glad it is gone, but I have historically not been able to get through much more than a couple of weeks w/out weed.
The summer before last, I managed to quit for three weeks and I felt a sense of poise and clarity for a while, though I was uptight a lot and anxious. I think the hard thing will be not being used to feeling clear and present.
I am also not a high-functioning pot-head due to my other problems, so I need all the extra energy I can get if I want to get through life and really go after the things I want.
I also realized that if I truly want a healthy relationship, then I need to leave my options open and would just as soon find someone who doesn't smoke pot at all. I will never get that chance if I am still at it.
I just feel lonely a lot and that I have failed a lot in life though I have beat other addictions. I can beat this one too. I really hope I can stick with it.
I do not really like the whole 12-step thing too well and have always felt fundamentally at odds with the roots of it and the religious connotations, but I am thinking of going to some NA meetings just to get some support and give me a place to go when I feel like I can't take it anymore. I know this is going to be hard and if i can pull it off, I know my life will change for the better, ultimately.
Thanks for listening.
Cat
Is Al-Anon for spouses of recovering addicts too?
I'm new here, so...Hi, I guess!
My husband is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for about 6 months. (His longest ever!) Although I'm very proud of his accomplisment, and the dedication he's demonstrated towards his recovery (working his steps, going to meetings, etc...) I find myself in a bit of a strange place. Because I've been out of state taking care of a sick family member for the better part of five months, I'm afraid that I don't really know how to deal with his recovery. I admit that I've distanced myself from his process, in part to ensure that it is "his own", but also partly to protect myself from the disapointment of too many cycles of relapse.
Anyway, I was talking with my friend (whose father is 26 years sober and still very involved in an active recovery) about how I didn't really know how to be a good wife to a recovering alcoholic, and how I was feeling alienated from him since he (with my most sincere blessings) became so involved in AA. She suggested that Al-Anon might be a good place to start.
I guess I always thought that Al-Anon was a place for people whose lives were affected by people who drank....is it also a place for people who are learning to live with a loved one who no longer drinks? It seems silly and petty to complain or be concerned about things that have happened since he stopped drinking...I mean after all, isn't that the main objective? But I begin to wonder if there isn't some sort of recovery process that I'm supposed to go through myself...from someone who was an enabler (active or not) to someone who can be a supporter?
I don't know if this is the right forum to reach out for help in this matter. If not, I hope you'll forgive me on the basis that I'm kind of new to this. But if you can give me any advice, I'm all ears...
Thanks for hearing me out,
Frankie
My husband is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for about 6 months. (His longest ever!) Although I'm very proud of his accomplisment, and the dedication he's demonstrated towards his recovery (working his steps, going to meetings, etc...) I find myself in a bit of a strange place. Because I've been out of state taking care of a sick family member for the better part of five months, I'm afraid that I don't really know how to deal with his recovery. I admit that I've distanced myself from his process, in part to ensure that it is "his own", but also partly to protect myself from the disapointment of too many cycles of relapse.
Anyway, I was talking with my friend (whose father is 26 years sober and still very involved in an active recovery) about how I didn't really know how to be a good wife to a recovering alcoholic, and how I was feeling alienated from him since he (with my most sincere blessings) became so involved in AA. She suggested that Al-Anon might be a good place to start.
I guess I always thought that Al-Anon was a place for people whose lives were affected by people who drank....is it also a place for people who are learning to live with a loved one who no longer drinks? It seems silly and petty to complain or be concerned about things that have happened since he stopped drinking...I mean after all, isn't that the main objective? But I begin to wonder if there isn't some sort of recovery process that I'm supposed to go through myself...from someone who was an enabler (active or not) to someone who can be a supporter?
I don't know if this is the right forum to reach out for help in this matter. If not, I hope you'll forgive me on the basis that I'm kind of new to this. But if you can give me any advice, I'm all ears...
Thanks for hearing me out,
Frankie
can it be real
As there is no al-anon in the northern community where I live (there was but they don't meet anymore and the other closest one is half an hour away on Wednesday's at 7:00 which doesnt leave me time to get there after work) I have been reading posts as my own personal al-anon.
I have gained strength and insight into myself and my relationship since I started(wow am I co-dependant..working on that..) and don't feel so alone. Thanks for the help.
I was married for 19 years to an alcoholic husband who drank heavy everyday and every three to five months would go on a bender that was out of this world. And during that bender, his self hatred would come out as hatred for me. He would say horrible things to me like I was a waste of space, ugly, a bad mother, and so on. Then, the next day when he woke up and couldn't remember, I would bring up what he said and his reply..."OMG, I am sooooooooooo sorry, I was drunk, didn't mean it and you should forget about it." Then he played nice guy for a while, then he'd drink more and more, then three to five months later, play the whole scene out again and leave me to pick up the pieces which I became really good at doing so the kids didn't really have to see it and the neighbours didn't really know.
On August the 18th this year, I somehow grew a backbone and told him not for one single second of one more day will I deal with it. Enough. Finished. I was done. We were done. Well, that seemed to be his bottom. He got help. He has been going to AA for two months now and celebrated 2 months sober on October the 24th. I know he is sober because even though we separated, he still lives in the house, he just has his own room and space. He is trying really hard to change, he helps around the house and even makes dinner if I come home from work and I am just wiped out. Does his own laundry and is cleaning up his messy areas like his work shop.
He says he wants to put us back together, but I don't know. I have been through this honeymoon before. I know it is too soon to even think about it and I am trying really hard to keep my boundaries in place, look after myself and my two kids who are still at home(we have 4) and try and help them through this at the same time.
He went to his meeting tonight and asked someone to be his sponsor which shows me he is serious about staying sober and working his program to get healthy, something he hasn't been since he was about 16 years old. I take this as a good sign.
What I am wondering is if there is anyone who stayed with their AH through the recovery and had it work out?? I would love to believe that it is possible, but I am wondering if I am using my rose-coloured glasses again and I need a reality check.
I have gained strength and insight into myself and my relationship since I started(wow am I co-dependant..working on that..) and don't feel so alone. Thanks for the help.
I was married for 19 years to an alcoholic husband who drank heavy everyday and every three to five months would go on a bender that was out of this world. And during that bender, his self hatred would come out as hatred for me. He would say horrible things to me like I was a waste of space, ugly, a bad mother, and so on. Then, the next day when he woke up and couldn't remember, I would bring up what he said and his reply..."OMG, I am sooooooooooo sorry, I was drunk, didn't mean it and you should forget about it." Then he played nice guy for a while, then he'd drink more and more, then three to five months later, play the whole scene out again and leave me to pick up the pieces which I became really good at doing so the kids didn't really have to see it and the neighbours didn't really know.
On August the 18th this year, I somehow grew a backbone and told him not for one single second of one more day will I deal with it. Enough. Finished. I was done. We were done. Well, that seemed to be his bottom. He got help. He has been going to AA for two months now and celebrated 2 months sober on October the 24th. I know he is sober because even though we separated, he still lives in the house, he just has his own room and space. He is trying really hard to change, he helps around the house and even makes dinner if I come home from work and I am just wiped out. Does his own laundry and is cleaning up his messy areas like his work shop.
He says he wants to put us back together, but I don't know. I have been through this honeymoon before. I know it is too soon to even think about it and I am trying really hard to keep my boundaries in place, look after myself and my two kids who are still at home(we have 4) and try and help them through this at the same time.
He went to his meeting tonight and asked someone to be his sponsor which shows me he is serious about staying sober and working his program to get healthy, something he hasn't been since he was about 16 years old. I take this as a good sign.
What I am wondering is if there is anyone who stayed with their AH through the recovery and had it work out?? I would love to believe that it is possible, but I am wondering if I am using my rose-coloured glasses again and I need a reality check.
How many of you eat HersheyÂ’s chocolate?
I can’t get it together
It has been five months since my son and his girlfriend had their children taken away. The baby was born addicted to methadone and was in ICU and weaned with morphine over 4 weeks. 4 days after he was home I picked him and his 2 year old brother up from a court date. In five months they have seen their parents for ten hours, they have bonded to others. They are wonderful! Their parents have accomplished none of their 4 court ordered goals. They have managed to have negative drug screens for two weeks. We go to court on Thursday and the state is requesting permanancy planning begin which effectively starts the process of terminating the parental rights and allowing adoption to begin.
All the stories of mothers and their children live as ghosts on this site and in my mind. WE all have this in common, our love for our children and the grief in losing them to their addiction.
On Thursday my 2 daughter's and I (they each have one of the children) have been subpoened to testify for the prosecution. We will face my son that day and say the children should not be returned. My son has informed me and his state social worker that he will kill himself immediately after the hearing if that happens. A promise? A threat? Although I know I am not responsible for this, I cannot get away from my dreams or nightmares.:a043:
All the stories of mothers and their children live as ghosts on this site and in my mind. WE all have this in common, our love for our children and the grief in losing them to their addiction.
On Thursday my 2 daughter's and I (they each have one of the children) have been subpoened to testify for the prosecution. We will face my son that day and say the children should not be returned. My son has informed me and his state social worker that he will kill himself immediately after the hearing if that happens. A promise? A threat? Although I know I am not responsible for this, I cannot get away from my dreams or nightmares.:a043:
Two Years, Five Months…….
I have not had a drink in two years and five months (today) I have been going to meetings once a week for the last five months because my councelor and Doctor advized me it would help me not be so depressed and not drink. It has been SOOOOOOO helpfull. It's like I have a safe haven from the crazy world out there and I thank God for that.
I have heard so meny people in the meetings talk about going back out after years of not drinking and I think No way! but last Friday..... I came real close. My husband stopped drinking almost two months ago and was acting strange on Friday. He had a real bad day at work and was not home when I got there. He told my brother he was going to the store but I was sure he was out drinking and gambleing. I don't know about the gambling but I am sure he did not drink because I would have smelled it or at least mouthwash on his breath. But while he was gone I let my self go down the old road. I could hear the old tapes in my head and tried not to let my brother know what I was thinking or how I was feeling. (My brother is retarded)
At first I got a little angry and then sad and hopeless. I hid in the bathroom and cried because I was overwelmed with a sence of hopelessness. I got to a point that I heard my self say, it doesn't matter any more. You may as well get drunk. Its not like anyone cares anyway.
In the old days I would have taken my brother home and then start downing shots of whisky. I would go from sober to sloppy drunk in a matter of minutes. Thats what I wanted to do and I was ready to do it.
What stopped me? well the serenity prayer helped a lot and the fact that I have learned to listen to my self. I listened and said (ARE YOU NUTS)!! IF he is drinking then he needs to deal with it but YOU don't need to through away everything you have worked for because your husband had a drink. and by the way..... YOU HAVE NO IDEA IF HE IS DRINKING!!!
OK sometimes I yell at my self. LOL But the point is, I don't just blindly do what my mined says anymore. I question my self when I start having unhealthy thoughts.
I'm still sober after two years and five months, who would have imagined.
D
I have heard so meny people in the meetings talk about going back out after years of not drinking and I think No way! but last Friday..... I came real close. My husband stopped drinking almost two months ago and was acting strange on Friday. He had a real bad day at work and was not home when I got there. He told my brother he was going to the store but I was sure he was out drinking and gambleing. I don't know about the gambling but I am sure he did not drink because I would have smelled it or at least mouthwash on his breath. But while he was gone I let my self go down the old road. I could hear the old tapes in my head and tried not to let my brother know what I was thinking or how I was feeling. (My brother is retarded)
At first I got a little angry and then sad and hopeless. I hid in the bathroom and cried because I was overwelmed with a sence of hopelessness. I got to a point that I heard my self say, it doesn't matter any more. You may as well get drunk. Its not like anyone cares anyway.
In the old days I would have taken my brother home and then start downing shots of whisky. I would go from sober to sloppy drunk in a matter of minutes. Thats what I wanted to do and I was ready to do it.
What stopped me? well the serenity prayer helped a lot and the fact that I have learned to listen to my self. I listened and said (ARE YOU NUTS)!! IF he is drinking then he needs to deal with it but YOU don't need to through away everything you have worked for because your husband had a drink. and by the way..... YOU HAVE NO IDEA IF HE IS DRINKING!!!
OK sometimes I yell at my self. LOL But the point is, I don't just blindly do what my mined says anymore. I question my self when I start having unhealthy thoughts.
I'm still sober after two years and five months, who would have imagined.
D
