Drug Rehab Options Blog

With recovery with sobriety, you notice things... such as how when you were addicted/etc you would forget the important things you body needed, preferred or you just didn't WANT to notice... I'll tell you ONE thing I just noticed today...

I woke up, feeling a bit fatigued, and a bit tired, but... when I woke up I remembered all the old boozing... and I got a cold water from the fridge, drank it and felt ... great, the relief taking over my body, the cold water slowly dripping off my chin and dousing into my stomach... and when I was done, I realized... what the hell was I thinking when I abused my stomach and body with 10 beers during my drinking days when I could be doing this? What's my point all? Perhaps just a different perspective.

So you see, everyone... change and happiness is possible sober, it is, really. :Xmasustar

Hello again,

I know I'm new to this site and I hope I'm not starting too many new threads; however, I was speaking to a good friend of mine today about our drinking problems and he mentioned to me how he's been able to cope by ordering non-alcoholic beers when he goes out.

He also mentioned he always has one available in the fridge at his house to help kill any cravings he might have at any given time.

I thought this was too important of a topic not to get other peoples advice before forming a solid opinion of my own. He swears by it, but it sounds way too risky to me.

Any thoughts?

I came home from work as usual around 5.30, said a quick hello to my wife and 2 year old son, took a can of cola from the fridge and went upstairs for a quick shower.

Usual routine, lock the ensuite door, switch the shower on to warm up and take the half bottle of vodka out of the jacket pocket it was hidden in, down half of the bottle and wash it down with half the cola, pour the rest of the vodka into the can of cola, hide the bottle again and unlock the door, doesn't matter if someone come in now, just cola to see.

All day I would have been feeling edgy and shakey, wouldn't have had much, if anything for lunch, but now as I wash and the vodka starts to kick in I feel ok, come out the shower, dry off, finish the can of cola and downstairs for a good meal, half bottle now safely inside me.

Only tonight I was worried, can't go on like this, my wifes due to give birth in 2 weeks and I need to be able to take her to the hospital. Two years before when my son was born I stopped this routine for around 6 weeks before the birth but its lots harder this time for some reason, know I have to but thats weeks I've been thinking about it and haven't managed.

We had a meal and we put our son to bed, around 9.00 my wife started to go into labour, I'm panicing, its 2 weeks early, I'm not drunk as my body is well used to drinking a half bottle of vodka but no way should I drive.

My mum comes in to watch our son, by 11.00 we are ready to go, I drive to the hospital, its only 3 miles and thankfully the roads are quiet.

3.30 am the following morning my daughter is born, its fantastic, I drive home, getting in around 6.00, tell my mum the good news, she goes back to bed, I have a beer as the hangover is starting and I've had no sleep, its 7.30 and my son gets up. Make him his breakfast and tell him he's got a sister.

We go back to the hospital to see them at lunchtime that day, I don't drink throughout the day, I'm happy,I leave the hospital about 8.00 that niight to get my son to bed, soon as he's in bed though I'm into the half bottle of vodka I've picked up during the day.

As I drink it I'm relieved, relieved to have got away with it, relieved I didn't have to stop drinking.

I knew that night as I sat there I couldn't go on like that though, what if I'd crashed the car, what if a nurse had noticed I was drunk, what if the police had stopped me, was I trying to throw everything away ?

Even though I knew I had to stop, it was the following summer before I managed a decent length of sobriety, 10 weeks I did until I faltered and was back on the same old routine for another 9 months or so, then 9th May this year I stopped and here I still am.

Was that my rock bottom, probably not that bad compared to some people, but yes I think for me it probably was.

Nearly 7 months I've done now, I can't go back to the life I was living, I have too much to lose, my wee girl will be 2 tomorrow, my son is 4 and starts school next year, they need a dad I reckon.

As someone said to me, I'm lucky, if I get this right my kids will never remember me ever being drunk, that alone keeps me going.

I tell this story tonight because its in my thoughts due to my daughters birthday but also because I see some friends struggling just now.

I'm starting to believe I can really do this and if I can then so can anyone.

I know there are probably other threads on this but I figured I could ask again anyhow. I have been sober for 7 days now and it's the longest I've been sober for about 5 years now. I'm only 25 and I am so extremely bored its sick. I live with 2 other guys my age and all my friends are all a little on the 'crazy' side. I keep getting crap from them for not going out but I honestly don't remember how to behave around others sober outside the workplace. My roommates drink(theres a 12-pk in the fridge now)all my friends drink and I dont want to hang out(probably at a bar) while im sober. I dont really know what to do. What am I supposed to do. Can I hang out? I don't have any desire to drink anymore really, but it's been so long since i didn't drink i dont really know what else to do. I really don't like the AA scene (no offense) so i dont want to go to anymore meetings. Any other suggestions anyone?

I guess I should start by saying I've never joined one of these forums before so this is a first for me. Unfortunately things have gotten to a point where I guess I'm turning everywhere for help. I've been reading through a lot of the posts about dealing with alcoholic spouses and although it did help to make me feel like maybe I'm not losing my mind, I'm still so uncertain of what to do next so I thought I'd give this a shot.

I've been married for a little over 15 years to my wife. Most of them were good but the past 8 or so have slowly declined as her drinking increased. I started to notice after a while that she would drink before any stressfull situation, for instance like going to my parents or her partens for a visit or for holidays. She always said it was just a little to help calm her. Over time this became a habbit and a cause of many bad fights between us. Her partents divorced about 5 years ago and I think that's when the wheels came off the cart. Drinking became a way for her to deal with everything. Eventually over time her personality changed as well as her phyisical apperance. After a while I'd start to find beer cans hiddend in dressers, in cubbords, stuffed in empty cereal boxes and in other odd places where you just shouldn't find them. When I confronted her about this she'd always get mad at me for first, finding them and second, she would tell me that she has to hide them because I always made a big deal out of her having a few beers so she had to hide them from me. My feeling was that if she has to hide them, it has to be a problem right? I always told her I didn't care as long as she kept them in the open, in the fridge. There always seemed to be something so wrong with hiding them to me. She's always been a master at some how making me feel like I"m wrong for accusing her or even bringing up the idea that there's a problem so I'd always walk away wondering if it's just me who's making a big deal out of it.

Skip to where we are now. Over the past couple of years the drinking has steadily gotten worse. I've found some of her common hiding places so I have a better idea of how much she's actually going through and to my horror I started to discover that she's now drinking in the AM before work as well! I'm the only one who seems notice her changes when she drinks. I think the kids are seeing it now but I dont know, I try to keep them away from it. When she doesn't drink she's often irritable and mean and once she gets a couple she's the same person I married. But then after a while she becomes slightly obnoxious and loud. All I know is that this isn't the person I married. Her personality has completely changed. She's obstinant, she lies so much that I hardly believe anything she does or says anymore. I've had times where I've caught her drinking and she'll lie right to my face about it and refuse to believe anything different. There's no intamacy in our marrage anymore and it seems like the only thing she wants to do is sit on the couch, watch tv and fall asleep at 7:00. The house is a wreck and she just doesn't seem to care about her appearance or basicaly anything in general. She's also become desperate for attention, often times making up stories to get sympathy from people.

For the longest time I've been struggling with the question 'is this just me making more of it than it is?'. But now that I know she's drinking in the morning, she's drinking at lunch and before other work events. I've found travel mugs in her car that smell of vodka so now I'm afraid that she's drinking while in the car too. I have 3 kids uner the age of 11 that she takes to school and brings home from school and will take to practice and I know she'll think nothing of having a few beers and then driving them someplace because she doesn't thing she has a problem.

I'm sure that she's a functional alcoholic and to my best guess she's averaging about 6-8 beers a day with about 20-25 on the weekends. On top of that I think she's also mixing in about a bottle of vodka a week. Problem is, no one knows. It's almost like she has 2 personalites, her public one in which everyone thinks she's little miss perfect and her home one in which me and the kids all walk on egg shells. Her family is completely ignorant to the whole sitation and I say 'Ignorant' because they above all else should know she has a problem but it's easier to ignore it.

She was also diagnosed with NASH last year which is a liver disease which causes fatty liver. Although the Dr. claimed that it wasnt' caused by drinking they did say that she should no longer drink.. at all because it would lead to larger problems. Even with the threat of this, she continues to do it.

Thus ends my story. The last few months have been very difficult because I've finally come to truely believe that she has a problem and needs help. The problem is that I know there will be huge fall out. I know I'll be the bad guy. For some reason it seems to be ok for women to leave and take the kids from AH, but taboo for husbands to leave. I've struggled for so long trying to figure out am I making the right decision, so I confront her, is there really a problem? I believe there is but if I pull this trigger and I"m wrong nothing will be the same. I struggle becuase I still will catch a glimps of the 'old' her from time to time and it'll make me question myself, but most of the time I'm faced with a person I've come to no longer stand to be around.

My plan is to confront her about her drinking and to tell her that we have to work together to get treament. I'm also prepaired to end the marrage and take the kids if that's what it has to come down to. I'm willing to work with her to support her and to get her, but I can't live like this anymore.

So, I guess that's my queston. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Any adivce?

I called him, yeah I know kinda chicken but I get so nervous when I talk to him in person......

I told him his drinking was out of hand again,(last wk he got drunk at a family restaurant w/ the kids and then I came home from work later that week to find him "with a pretty good buzz going" while he was supposed to be watching the kids, one of which is disabled) that he was embarassing me, the kids in public and family-type situations. That it made me feel horrible to have to tell our daughter what was wrong with daddy. That it makes me feel uncomfortable when he drinks...

It took me a little whilel, but I got out a lot of things about how his drinking made me and our daugther feel.

His only response was that he wanted to know what I wanted him to do......

He said he was proud of me for not having vice's like smoking or drinking, but that's not him.

When I got home from work all the beer in the fridge was gone and he was alseep (I work 2nd shift part-time). Today he hasn't talked to me AT ALL. Any conversation was immediately squashed, he never said one "love you" on the phone when I said I made supper(which he refused to eat) or any other time. For him this is unusual because he is the one that says it first on the phone every time. He asked me if I was going to put up a Christmas tree.

Just makes me feel like crap, I kind of figured he'd be this way...but it still feels bad and gets me upset.

I was invited to a day-long Thanksgiving get-together by a friend for the third time now and had a lovely time with fun people. ABF didn't want to be there the entire day, but said he would like to come for dinner. I was happy that we would spend Thanksgiving dinner together, especially since the host is the reason we met two years ago.

I went to pick him up and he was stoned. I let that go. He went to get changed and ready and before we left, he was looking for a lighter to smoke some more pot. He KNOWS I hate it and it was getting later and later. He became angry because he couldn't find a lighter that worked. When he did, I asked him why he is doing this if he knows how I feel about it. He slammed down the pipe and asked me to leave and I did.

I drove back to my friend's place, collected myself, and promised myself to NOT let this ruin my day. When I got back I told them some story (not everyone there needed to know the truth) and had the best Thanksgiving dinner ever - so delicious (and I have left-overs in the fridge, yay!).

I am glad that I was able to enjoy the rest of the evening and these great people's company. I am mad at myself for not leaving my ABF although I can see how is getting worse. This utter disregard for me is shocking. He is not abusive, but most definitely chooses his DOCs over me and I deserve better and he knows I do.

I know I should just end it, but I can't right now. It's just not an option. I am drowning in work and I am visiting my family in two weeks and don't want drama. I just want to withdraw a bit and regroup. I know it will continue if I let it and I feel weak for not putting an end to this right now, but sometimes I am so sick of making decisions and right now I just want to do what I have to do professionally and not deal with it. Kinda of like being in denial until January and not think about what will be. I just want this year to end on a high note because I get my work done.

I am so sick of being disappointed and crying and having to lie. I know what I SHOULD do, but right this moment, all I want to do is whine...:worried:

Still: Happy Thanksgiving! :thank1

just would like to say i am now on day 11 and feel quite good. it hasn't been that there has been no temptations....i still have beer in my fridge from my last and final binge. at the same time, there has been days where i would normally have cracked a few beer just to cool down....but again, mind over matter.

to those that are having a hard time i just want to say, that it can be done...just need to believe in yourself and keep telling yourself that even just that 1 is too many.

here is to continuing to look forward in this journey. lets hope i stay on this path and don't stray.

Ciao.

I've posted about this before, somewhat...but it's increasingly becoming a problem for me.

I'm currently on day 24 of sobriety. As some people may remember from a few previous posts, I've been living with my best friend for the past 6 years. We were college roommates first, then decided to move FAR away from home and buy a house together after we graduated college.

During my first few attempts at sobriety, my roommate wasn't very supportive. It wasn't until I had a serious breakdown during a 3 day long binge that she seemed to change. (I'm still not convinced my mom didn't call her about it...)

Anyway, we'd always drink together. I believe that she may be on her way to developing a drinking problem, but she's never been quite as bad as I was. Since I've stopped drinking she hasn't been drinking much at home at all. There's always beer in the fridge, which doesn't bother me all that much...However, lately she's decided that going to the bar almost every day after work for "a drink" is what she wants to do instead. (oh, and xanax mixed in here and there.)

We have three dogs, and since she's been absent I've taken to walking all three of them. I didn't mind much at first, but it's becoming a hassle. More than anything though, it's her coming home tipsy and annoying me...or coming home late during the work week and being disruptive that's really starting to get to me.

I really don't mind at all that we aren't spending as much time together... It's just that it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to CO-EXIST with her. Hearing her come in late at night, spending weekends hungover... it's just not something I care to be around right now.

I've been thinking about telling her not to take it the wrong way, but that I'm finding it difficult to live with her and think it would be best if we went our separate ways. I've been looking into getting a job and moving back home to be closer to my family for some time. It's just that we have this house together...and I don't want to feel like I'm being indecent and inconsiderate in leaving. Whenever I bring up moving home, I can tell she panics and asks if I'm going to "leave her here." I know I need to do what is best for me, but I can't help but feel guilty...:guilty:

So, it's the danger time zone...

Three thirty in the afternoon. I'm self employed so I'm free to start drinking now if I choose. I only have two beers in the fridge so I would need to go up the road and buy more... but I'm sitting here arguing with myself:

Go up the road and get some beer.
Why? I'll only feel like shite for the first couple before I hit the "happy zone"...

Yeah but you WILL get to the happy zone!
Not necessarily, sometimes I'm forcing it down trying to get there and I only end up bloated and suffering burning acid reflux.

So take a pill for the reflux and go get some beer. You know it's great fun drinking, smoking and playing games... spades, poker, backgammon...
Yeah, it's real fun waking up in the middle of the night full of regret and getting up in the morning and standing on those scales another few pounds heavier.

So don't eat dinner then, that'll save a few calories AND ensure you reach the happy zone.
mmm, true...

One day at a time, one minute at a time, blah blah blah... all that effort and agony and you know you're just going to drink again later so it's a waste of suffering.
Yeah I know.

Arrrggghhh!