Drug Rehab Options Blog

okay so here i am...
did the rehab thing, doing meetings once a day & at a minimun 5times a week.
heres the situation..
evry day used to be taken up with the finding of drugs, the getting of drugs, the using of drugs an the coming down off of drugs, now i have this really big hole in my life that needs to be filled.

I am aware of many ways i can do this an none of m are healthy.
any suggestions outside of what im already doin would be appreciated cos i cant see myself being able to do this for much longer unless i can get some time fillers into my days.

considering please that
1. i have no car
2. i have an expenditure for me of maybe 30bux a week & no more
3. i alreday doin meetings
4. i dont have a friendship network in a physical sense yet as it takes time to rebuild support networks in the rooms & i am aware friendships will develop there in time
(im in a NOW moment though)
5. my last kid starts school in 3weeks which will see me with loads more time to kill
6. i dont have the faintest clue really what i like or even what i'd like to do for fun anymore
&. im getting quite depressed over this an want to rectify it as depression is not a place i choose to be anymore
9. i dont know how to go about meeting new people to make friends
10. I AM FEELING REALLY DESPERATE an already once this weekend placed myself into an old people situation out of loneliness, i was lucky it made me so physically ill an spiritual disgusted that i chose to leave, this is what loneliness does to me though, i start looking to what i know, all ive known.

please help me to understand how long the empty feeling remains an how i can help myself here
i dont want to go backwards
i cant keep going like this though.

love nikky
xxoo

My boyfriend Rick and I have been together 13 months yesterday and so far this year, he has been to two treatment centers to become clean from a list of drugs. I remember in April when he was in rehab and how lonely I felt because he was the main person I talked to throughout the day. Now I am determined to not feel lonely and sad while he is in rehab for his second time and hopefully last time. It's just hard when you only get a phone call a couple times a week!! He just left Sunday night and I have already cried at least once a day. I am hoping to really connect with you all and hear more of your stories of recovering loved ones to keep me strong.

Exciting news though! He called me today while in detox for a little over 10 minutes. He sounded great and really enthused to be there which was awesome to hear. I am scared though of when he gets out...What can I do this time to help? Here are some of the factors that I think played a part in his relapse besides himself just choosing to do so...

1. Little to no family support
2. All of his friends use drugs and these friends have been his friends since elementary school
3. He said to himself, "I'm only 20 years old! I just want to have fun like other 20 year olds! Why do I have to do this now??" Which is a reason I sometimes struggle with defending even though I never drink or have ever used drugs but I know how the typical 20 year old college student is!
4. He is somewhat of a hippie and looks up to drug addicted musicians...loves the Beatles, bob dylan, bob marley, jimy hendrix...
5. Had nothing to occupy his free time..he worked 12:30pm to 9pm at a grocery store and had nothing really to do in his free time
6. It was easier to give up than to battle everyday
7. Lives with parents so he had so much extra money and nothing really to spend it on!
8. Didn't really form any good friendships in outpatient and eventually got discharged and stopped going entirely.

Can anyone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me with solutions to some of these problems he faced after rehab in April which eventually led to his relapse 40 days later? I appreciate this more than you know!! THANK YOU!!!!

Seems like in some threads there are quite a bit of light arguing going on, when we used to banter about whats for dinner, music soothing the soul, movies, heck even American idol. I may not be the most "sober on here" but by gummies Im trying my hardest. Going to a therapist, a psychiatrist, and doing all I can do to try to get and STAY sober. Anyway, my point is, we all have different views, but lets try to point them out tasteful and kindly. the last thing an addict struggling to get better needs is criticism or someone talking down to or about them. I LOVE all you guys to death. Lets get back to our light hearted banter, our fun conversations, our LOVE and HELP for one another!!!! This is a WONDERFUL website with lots of great friendships. I have many friends on here I truly care about, lets get the love flowing back in here!!! You guys rock and have really helped me so much. Im gettin better, and am determined to get all the way better for my children and for ME!!!!!! I look forward to coming to this site every day, I hope it stays that way, I love this site and the folks on it. Please lets all show the love!!!!! Geez, I sound like a flower child, but thats ok, I dont care, Peace Man, lol

ps. I think that a lot of it is politics. We should be able to discuss it without getting angry of accusing "users and non sober people " to be banned from discussing politics. Anyway, if that is tearing us apart, lets stop it. Although I have to say, Hooray for Obama, its time for a change!!!!!!!:ghug2

I really need advice.

I have three beautiful children, ages 1, 3, and 5 who are the joy of my life and the reason for my five years of sobriety. I'll soon need to start talking to them about drugs and alcohol. What do you recommend?

I've read the "Drug Free America" pamphlets, but don't think a panel of bureaucrats is the right source.

If anyone with grown children who have remained sober could tell me how you spoke to them and answered their questions. Or if you can think of an approach you *wish* your parents had taken that might have helped, please let me know.

The "be honest" approach would be:

I was a heavy drinker from age 17 - 23. At 21, I started smoking weed daily and used LSD and mushrooms pretty regularly throughout the 90s.

For a while, I thought I'd use some "if it came from the earth, it can't hurt" rule, but soon realized it was a) kind of a stupid, and b) no sober person I knew had ever gotten such advice from their parents.

There's no credible way to keep your kids off drugs if you're using, so after a couple failed attempts I finally quit.

I didn't go to any meetings because complaining about addiction to marijuana seemed too petty, even though I was only successful in stopping once I read and really applied the 12-step approach.

My drug use forced me to lie to people I love and caused tremendous suffering. I built a huge part of my life around acquiring, using, and hiding drugs--lying to my wife for years about it while engineering or ending friendships to maintain the lie. Whenever I think of using, I think of my family and I'm able to walk away.

While that's a compelling story for an adult, but there's no way to know what images and conclusions this story would create in the mind of a 5, 10, or 16 year-old. My own father used to laugh about stealing alcohol from his dad, so I always thought it was at least a "little" acceptable.

I'm worried that even if my intentions are good, unburdening myself transfers baggage to them.

If I am a good and smart man in their eyes, as I hope, this would lead to a conclusion that "drugs are bad, but you can have fun now and later still be okay whenever you decide to quit."

Reading here I see so many things that I tried to get my Ah to get sober. I always thought I went to extremes then I read that I'm normal. I thought we could post some of the things we've tried no matter how crazy they are. Here are a few of mine.
1. Thought pregnancy would make him want to quit.
2. Me getting sober
3. Going to church
4. Putting him in rehabs
5. Losing weight
6. Thinking he could switch to just beer
7. Threatend and acted with another man
8. Hit him (worst thing I ever did)
9. Yelled and screamed
10. Took away his prized possesions
11. Threw things in his face from his past
12. Said "if you loved us you would quit"
13. Filed for divorce
14. Kicked him out
15. Had him arrested
16. Quit answering the phone
17. Cushioned him from every fall to show him kindness
18. Screamed and yelled outside of his hotel room
19. Tried to savatage his friendships with other drunks
20. Begged him:chatter
21. Cried


just to name a few........

October 18


We all belong

“Although ‘politics makes strange bedfellows,’ as the old saying goes, addiction makes us one of a kind.”

Basic Text, p. 84

––––=––––

What a mixture of folks we have in Narcotics Anonymous! In any given meeting on any given night, weÂ’ll find a variety of people who probably never would have sat down in a room together if it werenÂ’t for the disease of addiction.

A member who is a physician described his unwillingness to identify at his first meeting by refusing to go into “that room full of junkies.” Another member with an extensive background in jails and institutions shared a similar story, except that her shock and surprise stemmed from the realization that “there were nice people there—wearing suits, yet!” These two friends recently celebrated their seventh wedding anniversary.

The most unlikely people form friendships, sponsor each other, and do service work together. We meet in the rooms of recovery together, sharing the bonds of past suffering and hope for the future. We meet on mutual ground with our focus on the two things we all have in common—addiction and recovery.

––––=––––

Just for today: No matter what my personal circumstances, I belong


Copyright © 1991-2008 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

One of the wonderful gifts of recovery here at SR are the friendships we form that can last a short time or a lifetime but are significant to our lives and recovery.

Tuesday I leave for a week in Florida to meet up with CatsPajamas, Hangin' In, Mooselips and Jody Hepler and I know that it is going to be filled with laughter, tears, walks on the beach, and some late night gabbing that may go into the early hours.

We are arriving at various times through the week, at a condo so nicely provide by Hangin' In, and Mooselips and I (who are flying in from two distant cities) will arrive almost the same time and she has suggested that if we can't find each other at the airport "Paging Mooselips....Mooselips please take the phone" should catch her attention....and everyone elses :lmao

There will be stories to tell and pictures to share. I am looking forward most of all to our "Before" and "After" pictures at the Fountain of Youth...that just happens to be near where we are staying. My avatar indicates my faith that this Youth stuff will work, ha ha.

So if you notice a few regulars here missing, please know that we are thinking of you all and just having a fabulous Codie Vacation.

Hugs

:bus

Hi all, just thought i would put some of my thoughts here and wondered how others feel.

I have been attending AA since January, it really has helped. My last drink was on May 30th.

I am now at a point with AA where i am wondering whether the program will benefit me or maybe i should look for an alternative program.

I feel as though the AA program and support network, seems to want to get involved in things that go further than drinking. I realise i have to change my life and learn new strategies to deal with feelings, but it almost feels too intrusive.

I have made some friends there, which is good, but i can't help feeling that those friendships are conditional based really on whether i remain sober and want to stay free from drink. I have become distant with some friends because i do not drink, the AA calls these fair weather friends. Yet at the same time if i started drinking i'm sure i would lose the new friends i have made in AA too.

I struggle with the concepts of the steps. Step 3 is a hard one for me to get my head around, also step 9 about making amense, especially in relation to making amense to those that i feel have wronged me. My sponsor says that i am jumping the gun looking at step 9, but at the same time i wonder whether these steps are necessary for me to stay sober.

Since getting sober, my life has moved ten fold. I do not want to go back to drinking, although i would love to be like a 'normal' person and have a glass of wine with a meal, but the reality is i can't.

I am wondering though whether to go for some sort of counselling through a secular programme, to achieve and keepm my abstinence as there are things within the AA programme that i find hard to deal with and wonder whether they are necessary.

Any thoughts??

Paul

My boyfriend of about 14 months has been in recovery now for about 22 months. At first things were perfect, but as the relationship progressed and issues came up, it seemed he could not handle the conflict. We have never had a knock down drag out fight, but even a serious discussion was enough to make him seem distant. These were not huge problems that we discussed; they were things like who is staying at whose house on what night and also things like discussing friendships with exes. Normal stuff. We were very serious at one time, he even bought a ring (but doesn't know that I know). He broke up with me about two months ago but it only lasted two weeks until he came back.

So he is back now, and the first two weeks were amazing, but soon after that he began to become a little controlling, telling me that he had problems with one of my girl friends and that he didn't want me going anywhere with her. I put up a little fight but finally gave in. He also recently went to his hometown on tour (he's a musician) and some old using buddies came to the show and they all went out afterward. So he was hanging out with people he has used with in the past in places where they used and i was not comfortable with it at all. I told him this and he told me that his sobriety was "off limits" to me. So I dropped it. I also caught him lying about meeting attendance- it's never something we talk about a lot, but it came up and and he exagerrated the number of meetings he went to last week. He used to go every day and even chaired meetings, but now only goes maybe once a week, if that. He made amends to an ex gf he had used with in the past, and then lied to me about still having her phone number in his phone. He tells me he has no desire to ever drink again. Everything that happens is my fault and my problem, like the ex gf he used with in the past- when I brought it up that I was not cool with them reconnecting he made me apologize for "hurting his feelings" and said I was mean for even mentioning it.

He has never been this way before towards me. I was always a priority and he was always honest and loving. This is a complete change.

What gives? He seems to be exhibiting some warning signs but I don't know if I am imagining things or if I am just nervous. What do I do? Anything? Nothing?

First post...

Been drinking pretty heavy for 16 years on and off. Like many of you I used to just get hammered on the weekends and laugh at all the crazy blackouts and craziness my friends and I would end up creating. Normal weekend in college was starting friday night and partying saturday night as well, recover sunday and back to life monday.

As I got older and out in the real world things began to slowly change...now when I would drink it would usually be a situation where I would guzzle like a mad man for 2-3 days straight, and then stop and deal with 2-3 days of suffering coming down from the booze.

Now, years later my last few bad benders have included doing nothing but drink for 7-12 days straight (vodka gatorade's a plenty), 2 arrests on dui charges, lost opportunies with women and possible job advancement, job loss in general, shame, loss of weight due to malnurishment, sweats, shakes, convulsions, depression, money problems.....so on so on......you all know the story. My costs for the neverending benders include: arrests, friendships, girlfriends, scars from fighting, missed appointments, and the worst.....depression and feelings of worthlessness.

The last bender I was on was an 8 day alcohol diet, I missed appointments at work, ruined my relationship with the girl I was dating, lied constantly, passed out 2-3 times a day, and the icing on the cake, smacked the back right of my company car into the side of my garage while in a blackout. That alone could have cost me BIG TIME! The depression and withdrawals I went through following that bender were wicked; sweats, shakes, anxiety, clammy skin, insomnia, nerves shot......

I decided after the last one I would be done with booze, that was over a month ago. I have read many of your posts and I am glad this site is here. That is all for now....just felt like joining this group of people who are like me in knowing we are not good drinkers.