Archive for the ‘Full Custody’ tag
He still thinks there is hope for us
Even after a rough day (AH visited the children).
He still keeps on saying..."Maybe one day we can be together again"
He has agreed to giving me full custody of the kids.
He is still taking the methdone. He's going to ask the DR. to fax me the results of his drug testing. He has agreed to drug testing every week to see the kids forever.
(how expensive is that going to be? (canada)!!!!!!!!!!!!is that even possible?)
He's started looking for a job, even asked if I could pack another suitcase for him with his 'work clothes'.
I will not get back together. But should I REALLY SCREAM that it is over.
I say it is and he moved out and i'm going to the lawyers etc...
He says He KNOWS it's over but he wants/needs to hope that maybe one day....
Do I take away his hope? THis soon?
Should I just let it fade and maybe he'll be ok with it? If he looses hope will he give up the fight?
He still keeps on saying..."Maybe one day we can be together again"
He has agreed to giving me full custody of the kids.
He is still taking the methdone. He's going to ask the DR. to fax me the results of his drug testing. He has agreed to drug testing every week to see the kids forever.
(how expensive is that going to be? (canada)!!!!!!!!!!!!is that even possible?)
He's started looking for a job, even asked if I could pack another suitcase for him with his 'work clothes'.
I will not get back together. But should I REALLY SCREAM that it is over.
I say it is and he moved out and i'm going to the lawyers etc...
He says He KNOWS it's over but he wants/needs to hope that maybe one day....
Do I take away his hope? THis soon?
Should I just let it fade and maybe he'll be ok with it? If he looses hope will he give up the fight?
He got a Wet Reckless
I haven't been around in awhile. Just in case people don't remember me I turned my AH in for drunk driving. He never found out it was me. At least not yet. We are now divorced because of the drinking/cheating.
I just found out that his case was closed. He plead guilty to a wet reckless. He has the same punishments as a dui though. He got 45 days in jail, DUI classes and fines. They told me on the phone he can swap out his jail time. I don't know what for though. Maybe someone can give me some insight here. He lost his license but is still driving.
Sad thing is he is still drinking. He doesn't think anybody knows but I do. I know his patterns and see how he is behaving. I have to protect baby. I have full custody with supervised visitation to him. I wonder now if he can change that because he only got the wet reckless?
I still feel good for calling 911 that night. He was going to kill someone, himself or his children.
I just found out that his case was closed. He plead guilty to a wet reckless. He has the same punishments as a dui though. He got 45 days in jail, DUI classes and fines. They told me on the phone he can swap out his jail time. I don't know what for though. Maybe someone can give me some insight here. He lost his license but is still driving.
Sad thing is he is still drinking. He doesn't think anybody knows but I do. I know his patterns and see how he is behaving. I have to protect baby. I have full custody with supervised visitation to him. I wonder now if he can change that because he only got the wet reckless?
I still feel good for calling 911 that night. He was going to kill someone, himself or his children.
Unbelievable…
I can't believe the power of denial....
Short history - niece in jail for second time, boyfriend lost contact when he got his visits restricted and couldn't put money on his phone for my niece to call him. She was going nuts after about 8 days of no contact, wanted me to pay the phone bill, I refused.
So, yesterday I go visit her - she got a letter. Here's what I know from her report.
He has - no job, no license (suspended), no money (his unemployment is running out,) no home (he's getting evicted), and no car (it was impounded).
His ex wife is taking him to court for back child support (good for her) and suing for full custody of thier 8 year old daughter (he's 34)
He has spent as much as $1600 for phone calls in a month to talk with her, but his unemployment was only $1200 a month.
He supposedly has no felony record but can't find work.
Ok, even if we ignore the past drug use and all the lies he told her so far (he confessed to living a double life while he was married and other things she won't tell me), this isn't a very pretty picture.
And can you believe it, she was so happy that she got the letter that she drew a picture of them kissing with an angel flying overhead and a peace dove descending upon them - Oh brother!
I didn't say anything, I just listened and said - gee he's had a tough time of it, golly I can see why he can't be reached. All the time I want to scream - GET A CLUE!
And - she still thinks he's her knight in shining armor, that he'll get her felonies erased and get her out of the workhouse early.
And then she wonders why I think she's delusional and needs medication.
I read recently that two things were necessary for an addict to get better - one, they had to start to question thier own reasoning and two, they had to have someone they trust to help them figure out how to reason effectively.
My temptation is to write my niece a letter with just the facts and a few quesitons... like how does it sit with her that her boyfriend doesn't pay child support - just like her dad. And how is it that even she, with two huge felonies could find work and he can't.
I'm guessing it would fall on deaf ears.
Any thoughts????
Short history - niece in jail for second time, boyfriend lost contact when he got his visits restricted and couldn't put money on his phone for my niece to call him. She was going nuts after about 8 days of no contact, wanted me to pay the phone bill, I refused.
So, yesterday I go visit her - she got a letter. Here's what I know from her report.
He has - no job, no license (suspended), no money (his unemployment is running out,) no home (he's getting evicted), and no car (it was impounded).
His ex wife is taking him to court for back child support (good for her) and suing for full custody of thier 8 year old daughter (he's 34)
He has spent as much as $1600 for phone calls in a month to talk with her, but his unemployment was only $1200 a month.
He supposedly has no felony record but can't find work.
Ok, even if we ignore the past drug use and all the lies he told her so far (he confessed to living a double life while he was married and other things she won't tell me), this isn't a very pretty picture.
And can you believe it, she was so happy that she got the letter that she drew a picture of them kissing with an angel flying overhead and a peace dove descending upon them - Oh brother!
I didn't say anything, I just listened and said - gee he's had a tough time of it, golly I can see why he can't be reached. All the time I want to scream - GET A CLUE!
And - she still thinks he's her knight in shining armor, that he'll get her felonies erased and get her out of the workhouse early.
And then she wonders why I think she's delusional and needs medication.
I read recently that two things were necessary for an addict to get better - one, they had to start to question thier own reasoning and two, they had to have someone they trust to help them figure out how to reason effectively.
My temptation is to write my niece a letter with just the facts and a few quesitons... like how does it sit with her that her boyfriend doesn't pay child support - just like her dad. And how is it that even she, with two huge felonies could find work and he can't.
I'm guessing it would fall on deaf ears.
Any thoughts????
Day 5
Today was my 5th day without alcohol and a lot of things seemed to go my way. I landed my biggest account at my job in the 8 months I've been there and I diffused a normally hostile situation with my boss by trying to see my part in it.
One thing I've already learned from AA is to evaluate my part in all situations. I have an ex wife who took me back to court for full custody of my son. You know what, I had a part in creating that. When my boss has gotten upset with me in the past, I did things to cause it. When my wife gets on me about certain things I have a part in it... I know this seems elementery to many of you but this is honestly a brand new skill I've developed.
Today was a very good day. I worked a full honest day, went to a meeting, had my son, tucked him into bed, and when he woke up and called for me I wasn't brushing my teeth first so he couldn't smell booze. I am in such a better place than I was five days ago.
I have gone to meetings and can tell you that I think I've got step one locked down. I no that I am powerless over actual alcohol and the idea of alcohol. Simply thinking about it gets me going right now. I need to get a sponsor and really dive in, but for now this site is a great help.
Thanks to everyone, and I will not drink tonight!
One thing I've already learned from AA is to evaluate my part in all situations. I have an ex wife who took me back to court for full custody of my son. You know what, I had a part in creating that. When my boss has gotten upset with me in the past, I did things to cause it. When my wife gets on me about certain things I have a part in it... I know this seems elementery to many of you but this is honestly a brand new skill I've developed.
Today was a very good day. I worked a full honest day, went to a meeting, had my son, tucked him into bed, and when he woke up and called for me I wasn't brushing my teeth first so he couldn't smell booze. I am in such a better place than I was five days ago.
I have gone to meetings and can tell you that I think I've got step one locked down. I no that I am powerless over actual alcohol and the idea of alcohol. Simply thinking about it gets me going right now. I need to get a sponsor and really dive in, but for now this site is a great help.
Thanks to everyone, and I will not drink tonight!
