Drug Rehab Options Blog

I wanted to say that I was ignorant and stupid in the past.
I used to drive by a needle exchange on my way home. I would always think "look at those loosers, what pathetic people, Stay in your little hell hole and dont come near my world"
'Those' people were gross, and I just couldn't understand why anyone would live like that....pathetic.
Well I MARRIED one of "those' pathetic people. 'Those' disgusting people have people who love them and are just suffering so bad.
I'm sorry.
'Those' people lived in my house, fathered my children.
My eyes are open now and 'those' people are loved, maybe not by themselves but by others, so that are as valued as any other person.
I'm sorry.

I am newly wed, my husband always had dislikes against drinking. I have always enjoyed drinking. My typical way of drinking has been, have 2 glasses of wine as I cook and have dinner (I am a big foodie and love the combination of good drink with good food) about 5 days a week. I drink more if we go to friend's party etc, which is probably less than once a month.

He says he doesn't like me drinking because I get slow (vs. witty) and less attentitive toward him and gets emotional. He always had different "reasons" why he dislikes me drinking (one of them used to be that I may cheat on him while I am drunk, at the early dating stage, so I was allowed to drink only when he was around, even at home! He finally understant I am not the cheater, he doesn't say that anymore)

I feel I can drink less frequently, so I recently agreed on drinking just weekends and special occassions. He was supposed to be happy with that, but he is still unhappy and says he doesn't want to be around me if I drink.
I have never been told by anybody (parents, my teeage kids and close friends etc) that I am unpleasant when I drink, rather fun to be around.

He wants me to quit drinking completely and he thinks I can never do so
because he thinks I am an addict. I know I can totally quite (I have done so with past pregnancies and nursing etc). But I don't feel it is necessary other than the fact that I can prove to him that I can quit, which seems to me, the wrong motivation. To me, cutting back to weekends seems like a good plan.
I feel since my wine with good food is something I would call "hobby" it will elminate my eating fun too (BTW I dont have any health problem either, stay fit), he says I am making excuse since I can't quite.... What should I do?

Hi everyone. I don't know what led me to this site, but I'm glad to be here. I'm a middle age woman who is a former model and still attractive....but drinking is taking it's toll with my personality, weight, finances, etc...
I keep it all together...by the skin of my teeth and know that NOW is the time to do something positive. I'm SO SCARED to quit drinking cause it's all I've known in my social life and I'm so afraid I won't be "loose" enough to have fun if I don't drink. My husband and I entertain alot and I feel that I'm a boring person without alcohol in me.
Can anyone give me some first baby steps to help me?

In a recent Alanon meeting this was the topic. I found it so interesting to listen to the shares and realize that it was not only me that suffered from self esteem issues due to my fall into insanity from living with an alcoholic, and not only me that had trouble recognizing the good qualities within myself and verbalize them.

So, I thought it would be fun to start this thread.

1) I'm loyal and will stick with with friends. In the past this quality went out of control and turned into a negative but through therapy and Alanon I am realizing that it is a wonderful trait to possess.

2) I like new adventures and am good at rolling with the unexpected.

3) I am intuititve and pick up on others' feeling easily.

:Xmasob

Hello all, you all know me and that I've been hosting meetings every 5 nights... well I host meetings from 9pm EASTERN to 10pm EASTERN, and all are welcome, I host them each night from Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and of course Monday, and the two other nights are hosted by Vegibean and Dean62. Just thought you would all like to know, I don't push programs on people and it's an anti alcohol/drugs/addiction chat, have fun! Hope to see you at my meeting.

Hi all,

I just discovered this forum about 1 hour ago while I was looking for advice on my situation. I must say this forum looks great, many posters with lots of experience, so I figured I'd post my situation here:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and are in our mid-twenties. We both have jobs and have gone through "College life" where drinking is a daily activity... We are both, today, "normal" or casual drinkers, we don't need to drink everyday (and we don't), we have some wine with dinner from time to time, and go out sometimes on weekends. Ever since I met her (a year ago), I noticed that she has a drinking problem, which I will explain shortly. We have had many, many discussions about it and even she admits she has a drinking problem (vs being an alcoholic, which we researched online, that she doesnt NEED a drink daily) but that she could easily control it and it's no big deal (first red flag for me).

So, here's the situation: When she's drinking alone with me i.e. share a bottle of wine with dinner on the weekend, everything is fine. We will finish off the bottle, usually after her 2nd glass she says she's had enough, after the wine we might have a glass of port, we're both a bit tipsy, life is great and the rest of the evening is perfect. On other occasion, she will not drink, or simply have 1 glass. This is what I consider "normal" drinking... no abuse, just for fun.

The problem is whenever she drinks with friends, either at someone's house or in a club, she can't stop drinking. She will drink as long as there is alcohol, and some of her friends are also really not the best of influences on her. Not only does she get completely wasted, when she gets that drunk she becomes extremely abusive towards me (not physically but verbally) and always tries to pick a fight. If I ignore her, she continues, but if I reply then we argue. Also, if she's drunk and I say "Babe you've had too much to drink, let's go to bed and discuss this tomorrow" she gets extremely angry at me and is even more abusive. These evenings usually end with her passing out on my couch or in bed. Lately she's also been having black outs the next day. The rock bottom was when she was so drunk she got kicked out of a bar... Not only does she drink when other people drink, but I've been in situations where we would be 5 or 6 people casually drinking at a friend's house on a Friday night, and by 10 pm everyone had had 2-3 drinks and was fine, except for her, she was already wasted. She can't seem to "pace" her drinking...

In the year we've been together, I honestly can't recall one time where we had a big argument and she was sober. If she's sober, our relationship is incredible. But every time she gets really drunk, it's a disaster. I have tried filming her, once we're back home and she's abusive, and then showing it to her the next day. She's always embarrassed after a night like that (especially the time I filmed her, or if some of her friends tell her how bad she was), apologizes for hurting and insulting me, says things like "you know I don't mean the things I say when I'm drunk" etc. Fortunately, this doesn't happen every day, although there was a period during the summer where it was once a week, sometimes twice. Normally, it happens once or twice a month (which is still WAY too often...).

Now I know this is not a relationship advice forum, and my question is really more on her drinking. Do you think it can really be just a phase? after all, we're still young. Also, how can you explain that her drinking habits change if she's with me vs with her friends (and I would not consider it peer pressure because no one forces her to drink). Finally, how do you explain the extreme change in personality after too many drinks? Can this change with time, or is she doomed?? Also, I have seen her, although very few times, go out with friends, we have several drinks, nothing in excess, we get back home and everything is fine. I have seen her do it, I know she can do it, which for me adds up to the mystery of why sometimes she has no control...

I know I'm seeking a lot of information, but I've been seriously thinking of ending this relationship. It would be a very easy decision if overall, I wasn't happy with her. But as I previously mentioned, when she's sober (which is most of the time), our relationship is really perfect.

Please let me know what you guys (and girls!) think, it is much appreciated!

Okay it is not really a plan...but I am working it out maybe I am just thinking it all out....

I need to leave AH. He is just getting worse and becoming emotionally abusive and saying horrible things to me and ODD.

He is currently trying to Detox at home by himself..no AA...no counseling...no reading (this has about a 10% chance if that)
But you can imagine how much fun it is living w/someone doing this.

It's not that I don't want to be supportive....I just can't. Emotionally I have to protect myself and i CAN'T JUMP ON THE BAND WAGON (AGAIN). If he wants to get sober he'll do it w/ or w/o my support.

So,

I need to get and apartment (currently looking) I don't work, but I have a savings that could get us by for a few months

probably should try to find something furnished

can I get an apptment w/o a job? I hope so! I could prepay...so maybe?

Should I just leave? Maybe I should let him know? Does it really matter?


what else?

I don't want a divorse I just need to be away from the insanity...Do I need to call a lawyer?

Is it dumb of me to think that maybe he will get sober and we can be together?

It makes me so so sad. I don't want to leave my house...my Christmas decorations the kids toys....but those are just things.

I keep daydreaming of what it will be like...is that nuts? It will be harder and yet easier....


Okay rambling done...any thoughts?

Hi everyone, I'm new to SR and I need some help. I've been clean and opiate free for almost a year now, all because my fiance moved me out of state. My fiance is an alcoholic. He admitted it to me once but otherwise won't admit it to me. I haven't asked him to. He is a manager at a liquor store and comes home with a new kind of beer every night. He gets paid good there, so he won't quit. When he drinks, he gets mean and I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. He stood by me and helped me get clean and I don't wanna give up on him. If I mention him even cutting back on the beer he gets mad and says he is who he is and he won't change for anyone. What do I do? If he could just admit that he'd have a problem we could go from there but he won't. He's been to meetings, had sponsors and everything else and nothing's worked. I know he won't quit for anyone but himself, and he says if he wanted to quit drinking he would. He has no desire. I don't want to leave him... He's a great person when he's sober. Awesome to be around, fun, and easy going. When he drinks I have to walk on egg shells to avoid him getting mad. Any advice would be appreciated!! Thanks!

This is the kind of chit I did when I was loaded.

:e088::e088:Check it out down below at you tube.

Im so glad that I can have fun now and not be on drugs.

YouTube - ELVIS LIVE

Love ya all, Michael

i have had a struggle this week and its no secret.

sunday night i saw him, he tried to talk to me as we were leaving. i just casually said hi how are you. and he said im okkaay and i said good and walked away.

i did a good job, with help here- not contacting him and telling him how much i care, how hard this is, and how much i miss him.

but tonight i get this email, which i am going to share.

subject: for real?
message:
we cant even talk. really......awesome. glad to see you've grown up a lil bit.
we really cant talk at all? that's the way all our history has gone?


I should note that im curious as to where he is, since i didnt think he had internet and where he is at 10pm and now 2am again that he has it.

anyway, i wrote him back tongiht when i got it. i probably shouldve consulted the board, but i was so .. emotional and somwhat mad that he thinks hes being PUNISHED- and more importantly, i wonder if we were talking, how that would go. probably me, obessing, hoping for a sign that things will work out and him- calling me as a last resort or to make him feel loved.

now i regret it. he gets what he wants: assurance knowing someone loves him and me, im still left either with someone who DOESNT feel the same way or someone who DOES but is an alcoholic. either way, he obviously wins the power struggle which is annoying. but if thats what he wants, he can have it.

but anyway i wrote him back:

dont be a jerk. really, do you think this is fun for me? do you think this is what i want?

(on a side note, you told me that i am clingy and needy and whatever else. you were right about those things. and now im not any of them to you. you'd think youd be a little bit prouder of me, maybe i infact, have "grown up a lil bit").

the reason i wrote you that last letter is so when times are hard you can try to undertand and know i still care. as for me, i dont have some hyper romantic letter to remind me of these things. instead, all i have is a broken heart and cold side of the bed.

and because IM constantly reminded of this, we cant be friends because i will want you to be reminded of this as well. and thats not good for either of us.

im sorry you think its selfish or immature (even though ITS NOT) that i cant be your friend right now. but it could be selfish and maybe hurtful that you want me to just be okay with everything because thats what you want, without regard to remembering that there is another person with feelings in the equation.

ive told you that i am doing this because i need some time to heal my broken heart. this is based upon a decision that you made. i could also say to you then, really--- we couldnt have worked it out? this is the way all our historys gone?

ive told you a million times, but i want to remind you that i am always here for you. and id still be there in less than half a new york second if you (seriously) needed me for something.

and, because i do, despite my hurt,... i STILL did ask you how you were doing. i asked because i genuinely care about you, jake lockhart. even though i dont really want to know, because it sort of hurts me either way.

maybe this is something you just havent gotten... but i care about you and i love you so so so much more than i care or love myself (and "so much" is probably an understatement). maybe that will change one day, but if it ever did, its going to take a long time. and until it does, its probably (extremely) unhealthy for us to be "friends".



sincerely,
grs