Drug Rehab Options Blog

I am at a loss here and would just like some suggestions about how you would deal with the situation if it were you......

First a bit of background - my STBXAH and I raised 7 kids together for 14 years. The way we had the holidays set up were that we got the kids for the major holidays during the even numbered years.

Now that I am sperated from STBXAH, we agreed to keep it as is, with me having the kids on the even numbered years and alternating.

This year all fell apart in that regard. Getting my job last month meant I was of course picked to work all of the major holidays this year. Can not get out of it. I work 7a-3:30p on Thanksgiving Day.

Out of the seven siblings, three are going to their mother's in another city for the holidays and three are going with their father to another state to visit all of our family, it was a last minute thing sprung upon me.

So, that leaves my 11yo daughter.
The plan was, before my STBXAH pulled his drunkenness crap this past weekend and upset her, that she would spend the day here at our house with STBXAH while I was at work. He would play games with her, watch movies with her and they would cook.
When I got home, we would eat, he would leave shortly thereafter.
This isnt an ideal situation, but the best I could figure out. STBXAH can be civil and friendly when we need to be.

Now, she is so mad at him, she will still not talk to him, nor answer his emails.
She came to me and told me that she would rather spend the whole holiday alone while I was at work. I asked her again last night about it all and she said she'd still rather spend the whole day alone.

I can't leave my child alone on Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean I technically could, but sheesh, that's just horrible.

Neither STBXAH or myself has family in the state. I have one friend and she is travelling out of state with her family. I literally have no one else to have her spend the day with.

STBXAH is of course all remourseful and apologetic now. As of last night she still wouldnt talk to him on the phone or email him.

Do I try and talk her into spending the day with him? Knowing he will be on his best behavior and they wont leave the house? They both really really like to cook, so most of the day could be spent doing that.

Or do I respect her wishes and leave her all alone on Thanksgiving? God that's horrible just typing it out!
Remember, there is no one else for her to be with.
What would you do?

hey guys its been a while since i posted here but i want some opinions on my non-cold-turkey try...

last night i went out with my roomate to a party at and apartment owned by my roomates friend. this was not the first time id be partying there, and over the past couple months i had kinda built up a reputation as the guy, the only guy, who would drink 1.5 pint of vodka and black out. but this time i had my roomate and my friends physically stop me at a certain point. i promised i would only have 5 beers, and that i would sip them, which is normally barely enough to give me a buzz (when i normally chug 4 to start)- which i have never done before.

so i had my 5, but i craved more, and i had some other kid sneak me some, i ended up being stopped for the night at around 7-9 beers, i wasnt exactly counting. i remember feeling sometimes during the night depressed that i was barely drunk at all, and i remember complaining about how much i wanted more. but i wasnt given any more.

but the key thing here is- i actually remember the whole night.

i was actually able to converse with people, have a few good laughs, being approached by the ladies (the girls can see a drinking problem from a mile away, and usually dont like that, and when they see someone on the couch near dead from drinking theyre going to stay away), play some games, DANCE (like wtf), joke around, instead of getting so drunk i couldnt stand and just crash on the couch, staring drunk at the tv, alone.

and by the time my roomate and i left the apartment around 2:30, i had pretty much sobered up completely, and i had realised how easy it was to have a good time without getting wrecked, something that seemed impossible for so long.

just goes to prove what a blessing caring friends are.

quite often I forget to give my h receipts for debit transactions that I make. He was paying the bill yesterday and I was on my way home from work had to make a couple of stops. At my last stop my cell rings and it is him, very upset that I did not give him the receipts. Every transaction that I made, I told him about but I did not give him receipts.

So I was listening to him B******** at me all the way home and when I got home, I asked him where all the money went if we both got paid, and he got offended by that and said if you want to know get your Fat A** up here, I said what did you call me he said Fat A**, I immediatley hung up the phone, I got my keys and my purse and left.

He called me not long after I left and I answered the phone telling him I dont deserve to be talked to like that, nor do I deserve to be call a Fat A**. I said I wasnt even home from work yet and you start in on me. After I said that to him the last thing he said to me is you can go home cause I am gone.

I chose not to go home, I knew that he would be back soon and I was angry with him for talking to me the way that he did, so I stayed gone. My phone started ringing again and I didnt want to talk to him it did no good talking to him the first time and I know that it wouldnt this time either. He must have called me 40 times and I chose not to answer, why just to get yelled at. He left me text messages, "you wanna play", let the games begin.


I went and sat a park for awhile thinking, then I drove a bit, then I went to walmart area and I was gone for 3 1/2 hours. I still didnt want to go home, but honestly I had no place to go and my kids were about to come home and I didnt want them there without me home.

I went upstairs when I got home and he came in from the garage and had that evil look in his eyes. He accuse me of sleeping with someone and just started with the name calling, I sat there and said I am sorry I didnt give you the receipts, things eased down quite a bit. I went downstairs to help my younges daughter with her homework and then I layed in her bed with her and then move to the couch.

Where I spent the rest of the night.

Things ease up a bit and I dont follow through with what my mind is telling me to do. I was planning an attorney and planning this and that and I did none of what I wanted or stated that I was going to do.

I am almost afraid to come on here and say anything because of my last post of feeling so strong and calling an attorney and finding a place.

I am a lost sole and I have been really trying hard to figure out who I am. I feel like I am this week pathetic person, that dont care at all about herself otherwise I would not remain where I am at.

Being strong is not staying, being strong is leaving.

Don't follow the NFL nearly as much as I do CFB so I thought I would start a new thread, aside from the NFL thread.

I am fortunate enough to be an alumni of USC and we are on top of the world right now, actually, this century! Big game coming up this Saturday against Ohio State and would love to chat about it, or any other games.

I normally watch the games from home to avoid a DUI and god forbid the game is not going well. I rarely remember the game so Tivo is my best friend on Sundays. I watched my first game sober when we played Virgina a couple weeks ago and I must say, it was not quite the same without the booze, and the jury is still out on whether that is a good thing.

I look forward to sharing my passion with others on SR.

Still sober!

Just wondering if any one here watched the UFC fights last night. If not you missed some great action. Love watching MMA. I will have a fight in Feb. 09 I wanted to fight in Dec. but I won't have enough time from the day I return from deployment and the dayof the fight.

So to the NFL. Who is your team? Mine is the Patriots. Lov'em. Can't wait for the games to start this afternoon. Best of luck to your teams..................................that will be finishing second to my Pats.

Shawn

Football season starts tomorrow! I normally spend the day eating, drinking, smoking weed and cigarettes.

This season? No booze, no weed, no cigs... 2 weeks drug and drink free.

I love the NFL, but I've never watched 9 hours of football (3 games)....SOBER!

Has anyone else had a hard time coping during football season?

:a043:Our sons (who are all under 10 yo) are in sports. Spring it is baseball, they started football this year to see if they like it, right now, and in the winter is wrestling. The boys like these sports. I enjoy going to watch them play and seeing them have a good time enjoying something. They wanted to join boyscouts and my AH threw an absolute fit saying he doesnt have time for "HIMself" now. "Dont these kids do enough?" "I'm on my F*&%$ own if I put them into boyscouts." it is 2-3 times a month for 1 1/2 hours. (BTW I take them to all of the practices and games for every other sport anyway, there is no difference) He shows up but most the time late. I asked him what did we do anyway that we are taking away from him, sitting on the couch? He said "HE" cant do anything!

If I or the kids are happy then he is supposed to be happy and he isnt! I aksed him what he wanted to do and he couldnt answer me! He just said that HE cant even come home and drink a beer without getting yelled at. I said that he has choices and so do I. If he wants to come home and drink a beer that is all his choice and MY choice is not to be here when he does! Then of course he says it is BS that if he drinks a beer then I'm taking HIS kids away from him:wtf2! It is not the 1 BEER - it is the cant stop at 1 BEER and then the behavior after the uncontrolled drinking!! Why cant he get that?

Am I crazy? :a136: Is it really the kids are doing too much or is it just cuz it is taking away from "his" beerthirty? I see it as the kids are only little once! In a few years they will be with their friends and not want to hang with mom. I also see this as an opportunity for them to see what they like to do. I dont push these sports, I ask if they want to do them and if they say no then that would be okay with me as well. But they enjoy these, it might give them a sense of stability? UGHHHHH -

Sorry for the long rant, it is just driving me crazy!!! I think I'm doing the right thing by my kids but sometimes he digs in my head and turns it a little.

Hello, as you see on my user name it all started in 1997 well a few years before that but 1997 was the year that really began to hit my family hard. You see I don't abuse drugs but my brother does, I have been dealing with this for years and years and I have no outlet no one to speak to nothing. I am just tired of the problems he brings home, what he makes my family go through everyday without a care in the world. I've given him money my own hard earned money to help his habit, I've never cried once about it not even when he stole stuff from my own room clothes, games anything (when I was younger). I didn't cry when I tried to commit suicide and ended up in the hospital at a young age why I don't know, there has been tons of instances where I should cry but it's like I am a soldier who has seen it all stone face thousand yard stare. I am going blank at just how pissed off I am its 200 in the morning and I have work in 4 hours and I am here typing on a forum I just joined asking for help I just don't know what to do anymore. I hope someone can give me support tell me what I should do even though I am not the one abusing drugs. I told him just go to bed don't go out it's 2 in the morning, you cant wait a few hours, no, i dunno. I am just typing here as things come to mind. Well I am off now please someone give me some advice I don't know where else to turn anymore....

-J:c002:

Xabf called me on Friday night. Even though I SWORE up and down if he called again I wouldn't answer, I was having a bad 'al day' (missing him unbelievably) that I HAD to call him back. We talked for awhile and he had to go...said he would call back. I didn't think he would but he did call a couple minutes later. He asked when can he see me. I told him I'm not hiding, he knows where I am at any given time he can 'see' me whenever he wants. Our sons play football together and had games this weekend. He was working but was coming to the Sunday game afterwards. He said we should go out after the game. I said I didn't know....anyway, we DID end up going for pizza after the game. No biggie...it was nice talking and catching up. Every time he would start 'bullsh*tting" I would say I didn't want to hear it and he would stop. He worked 4 a.m. to 4 p.m. and was beat and said he was going home to sleep and he would call me later. I said he wouldn't call...he was going to crash and burn once he hit the pillow...anyway, I wasn't expecting a call last night (and didn't get one) I thought MAYBE I would get one this a.m. with the excuses blah, blah, blah...but it never came. I knew he was hanging at the pool today with his kids (mine too actually) and when I dropped off my son his car was there...hhhmmm...now I'm all kinds of pissed off...more at myself then anything. I try not to get sucked in. I KNOW how he is and what hes going to do. I also know he is still very much with his gf and even though I hear about regrets and stuff he is still proceeding full speed ahead...in the WRONG direction. He said that EVERYBODY (his therepist/sponsor and family) told him he shoulda stayed put (with me) but of course he doesn't listen. I am actually friends with his xw and she has told me that his family doesn't like his new gf...his mom gets a 'weird vibe from her that gets stronger everytime she sees her' and was actually hiding out in the kitchen during his b-day party so she wouldn't have to talk to her. Add to it the fact that it's Labor Day and I'm sitting here alone doing wash and cleaning while he's at the pool with the kids having a high old time (with or w/o the gf, idk?) and I can't help but think of last year on Labor Day...he disappeared on a 3 day bender only to reurface on Tuesday morning...what a difference a year makes. I'm glad hes sober and things seem to be going well for him right now...I'm just sorry (after all I've been through in the last year) that I'm not around to enjoy it.

Does anyone else follow the Little League World Series?

We do whether we have a local team or not. This yr another Lake Charles, LA team is in the competition again!! wahoo!!!

We have made it thru Pool Play and tomorrow we start the games for the championship tomorrow nite!!!!

Anyone else have local teams playing????