Archive for the ‘Genes’ tag
Worried about him
My little brother went through a bad break up this summer after a 6 year relationship. Its been tough. I know he is using to self medicate and take the pain away. I'm pretty sure it isn't on a daily basis, however, I wasn't using on a daily basis at first when I went through the same situation. When he needs to talk, laugh or cry he usually comes to me and I'm always there to listen, laugh with him and cry with him and wipe away his tears. I don't want to see him go through the hell I went through. I know I have to set boundaries and I can not enable him in any way because it isn't healthy for my recovery or him. I want to be there and I want to help him. This disease is in our genes and he knows first hand what it can and will do. How can I help him through this difficult time? I know he's hurting and in pain. I just want to help him make it through this tough time-sober. I don't know what to do or where to turn.
RADgot another chip toinght
My RAD got an 18 month chip tonight from NA. There were 4 new people there toinght at her homegroup. When she shrared it was wonderful. She really was trying to reach the newcomers. She was saying how she can learn just as much from a newcomer as she can from someone whith 20 or more years clean. The whole group just embrassed them. When I heard alot of the things said during the meeting about my daughter, the coolest thing was everyone (& these mind you are my daughter close friends) were working to get the message accross the newcomers. Can I just say NA rocks!!! Oh & I might have mentioned on her 12 month that the chip gets passed around the group so people can say prayers or well wishes for the aneversery, well toinght there was a fumble. Toinght in front of the NA group, I..."mom of RAD" dropped the 18 month chip!!! It was the loudest sound I ever heard.!! MY RAD was in the middle of sharing & said ..can yoou believe my MOM just did that? It was too funny. Thankfully for her her lil sis got my co ordination genes. Can I tell you all how privelidged I feel for getting the opportunity to get to know her friends. We have had late nights at Denny's which is wayy past my bedtime. Some too funny times at my house, & I really luv these guys. They have soo much to offer.
Do Most Alcholics Come From Alcholic Familys
My b/f who is now kicked out of my home his whole family drank.
His mother father he had a brother who drank and killed himself another brother who he has no idea where he is and a sister who drank and died taking to many rx pills.
I have only met his uncle who is 86 a very nice man and he told me long ago he and his wife tried to get tom and his siblings and raise them but was unable to. He said the family tom came from were all drunks. His uncle is not.
And he has two nephew my age 46 and 43 who are not alcholics and finally have told Tom to stay away if he is drinking. This is all the family he has left all the others are dead or one brother has not been seen for years.
Is this common for children to grow up around this and turn out the same way"? My father was a herion addict and my mom divorced him when I was very young and all three of us kids are not drug users so is there a link is it fate is it in the genes. I am trying to understand.
Thanks Kelly
His mother father he had a brother who drank and killed himself another brother who he has no idea where he is and a sister who drank and died taking to many rx pills.
I have only met his uncle who is 86 a very nice man and he told me long ago he and his wife tried to get tom and his siblings and raise them but was unable to. He said the family tom came from were all drunks. His uncle is not.
And he has two nephew my age 46 and 43 who are not alcholics and finally have told Tom to stay away if he is drinking. This is all the family he has left all the others are dead or one brother has not been seen for years.
Is this common for children to grow up around this and turn out the same way"? My father was a herion addict and my mom divorced him when I was very young and all three of us kids are not drug users so is there a link is it fate is it in the genes. I am trying to understand.
Thanks Kelly
my teenage son’s question
Hi,
I post on family and friends but hope you guys can help.
My 14 year old son who is educated on the effects of
alcoholism and how it can be passed on through "genes"
asked me if he would ever be able to try alcohol when he gets
older.
I was speechless,it was a good question as he understands he could
become addicted because he watched his father ruin his life.
My EXAH has not lived with us or seen his children in over a year.
Any thoughts, thank you in advance.
I post on family and friends but hope you guys can help.
My 14 year old son who is educated on the effects of
alcoholism and how it can be passed on through "genes"
asked me if he would ever be able to try alcohol when he gets
older.
I was speechless,it was a good question as he understands he could
become addicted because he watched his father ruin his life.
My EXAH has not lived with us or seen his children in over a year.
Any thoughts, thank you in advance.
Choice Theory
Choice Theory
The 1998 book, Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, is the primary text for all that is taught by The William Glasser Institute. Choice theory states that:
all we do is behave,
that almost all behavior is chosen, and
that we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.
In practice, the most important need is love and belonging, as closeness and connectedness with the people we care about is a requisite for satisfying all of the needs.
Choice theory, with the Seven Caring Habits, replaces external control psychology and the Seven Deadly Habits. External control, the present psychology of almost all people in the world, is destructive to relationships. When used, it will destroy the ability of one or both to find satisfaction in that relationship and will result in a disconnection from each other. Being disconnected is the source of almost all human problems such as what is called mental illness, drug addiction, violence, crime, school failure, spousal abuse, to mention a few.
Relationships and our Habits
Seven Caring Habits Seven Deadly Habits
1. Supporting 1. Criticizing
2. Encouraging 2. Blaming
3. Listening 3. Complaining
4. Accepting 4. Nagging
5. Trusting 5. Threatening
6. Respecting 6. Punishing
7. Negotiating differences 7. Bribing, rewarding to control
The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
All we can give another person is information.
All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
All we do is behave.
All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology.
All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.
The 1998 book, Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, is the primary text for all that is taught by The William Glasser Institute. Choice theory states that:
all we do is behave,
that almost all behavior is chosen, and
that we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.
In practice, the most important need is love and belonging, as closeness and connectedness with the people we care about is a requisite for satisfying all of the needs.
Choice theory, with the Seven Caring Habits, replaces external control psychology and the Seven Deadly Habits. External control, the present psychology of almost all people in the world, is destructive to relationships. When used, it will destroy the ability of one or both to find satisfaction in that relationship and will result in a disconnection from each other. Being disconnected is the source of almost all human problems such as what is called mental illness, drug addiction, violence, crime, school failure, spousal abuse, to mention a few.
Relationships and our Habits
Seven Caring Habits Seven Deadly Habits
1. Supporting 1. Criticizing
2. Encouraging 2. Blaming
3. Listening 3. Complaining
4. Accepting 4. Nagging
5. Trusting 5. Threatening
6. Respecting 6. Punishing
7. Negotiating differences 7. Bribing, rewarding to control
The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
All we can give another person is information.
All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
All we do is behave.
All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology.
All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.
