Drug Rehab Options Blog

I went, I pretty much just observed, but everyone was very nice....go the welcome pack of pamphlets and one gentleman gave me a copy of the Serenity Prayer on a wallet card

It was different than expected, but in a good way.

One question....I see a lot of the literature that is available - what do you all think os the best starting point? I an unemployed and pretty much broke, so I need to spend my few spare pennies very wisely. Thoughts?

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Then unexpectedly, a sinister thought entered his mind. Why should the other man alone experience all the pleasures of seeing everything while he himself never got to see anything? It didn't seem fair. At first thought the man felt ashamed. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and he found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window -- that thought, and only that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running in. In less than five minutes the coughing and choking stopped, along with that the sound of breathing.

Now there was only silence-deathly silence. The following morning the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take it away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate since he had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."



Author Unknown

I saw Jazz's comments in Houston28's thread today. He said I must have mistakingly replied to the wrong thread, so I re-read the thread and he's right, I did. At least I think I did....

I went looking for the "other thread" and for the life of me I can't find it today. The other thread I was attempting to reply to was posted by a gentleman who said he'd hired a (mostly toothless) handyman to refurbish his wife's barn and she began an affair with him. He went on to say that she'd been abusing alcohol and drugs, was leaving his rather small children at home unattended, was spending hours on the phone talking to him in the barn, was staying out all night, had wrecked the car multiple times, lied repeatedly about everything, you get the picture. Hence, my response in Houston's thread.

Now when I describe all this, it sounds far-fetched and almost dreamlike, but I have enough experience with alcoholism to know that scenarios like this are all too real.

But still I can't find the dang thread. Somebody please tell me, am I crazy? Was it just a dream? Did the thread get moved or deleted? Did I somehow read a thread on a different forum? Is pumpkin cheesecake a mind-altering drug? I had a slice last night just before bed....

Help me before I go completely mad....

September of 2007 I found alcoholics anonymous. I was in a very lonely stage of my young life, and had burnt bridges with most of the friends I'd had. I was drinking at a party and offered an old friend a drink, and he told me he didn't drink. We talked about it and next thing I new I was going to AA meetings and had completely renounced drinking. I had no withdrawals. I had no using dreams. To be completely honest, it wasn't that hard for me to quit and stay quit.

I lied to friends I made in the program about the amounts I used, exaggerating it to make sure I fit in with them. I'm sure some of them detected my bullshit. Don't get me wrong, I did my fair share of drinking, and my fair share of drug use. But there is one thing I never identified with in the definition of an alcoholic: the phenomenon of craving.

I feel that I have reached a crossroads; I can't continue the steps if I don't believe in the first step.

I don't want to leave AA because I want to go get ****** up. I honestly just believe that I found AA at a very bad time in my life that wasn't necessarily caused by drinking. why wouldn't I love AA? It was a place where people loved me. I didn't even have to say anything and people acted like they knew my whole story, and they felt sympathy for me.

So now I stand at a point where I feel that going to AA and proclaiming myself an alcoholic is a form of lying.
But for me, to leave AA is to lose my entire social circle. I can't convince one person in AA of my point of view. Every time I try to explain it, they shut down. "You're trying to convince yourself that you can drink like a gentleman."

I dont know. I am VERY young. I am 19 years old. I have never suffered from needing to drink daily and have never drank on a certain schedule. MAYBE it will develop into full blown alcoholism, but at least if that happens and I can't quit, I will know where to go.

i am just scared to lose all of my friends because of this.
but i feel that it's something i need to do,

even if I am lying to myself like they think I am, I'll never be able to work a program fully until I've hit a bottom right? I can't just skip the first step, and no matter how many times I write out definitions of powerlessness and unmanageability it doesn't sit well.

i still believe in god and want to base whatever life I lead around a strong connection with Him. I want to be of maximum usefulness to god and my fellows. I just don't feel that AA is the way for me to get there, considering the rule for membership.

ALSO:
i am in no way bashing on AA. I love AA and love the people I have met in AA. I've met so many generous, hardworking, and honest people that I can't count them all. I fully support the work that 12 step programs do for people.

And now for a little levity. Thought it might be a stress reliever and fun to have a "most embarrassing moment" thread. I'll start:

Years ago, I worked as a secretary for a large engineering firm. It was my first day on the job, so I was all gussied up in an attempt to look ultra professional and ultra chic. I so wanted to make a great first impression. And I did just that--it was quite unforgettable apparently, as my coworkers chided me about it for years.

My boss had asked me to make some copies for him. In those days, instead of having several copiers available on each floor, there was a large copy center where all the copiers were located and folks had to stand in line and wait their turn to make copies.

The copy center was located several floors above where I worked, so I pushed the elevator button and waited for the doors to open. When they did, one of my heels got caught in the space between the elevator and the floor without my knowledge and when I took a step forward, I fell down hard on my hands and knees right into the elevator.

I've always been a large woman, but back in those days I was REALLY big, so when I fell, there was a loud thud and the elevator jumped a few inches. Then much to my horror, there were what I can only describe as a series of after shocks after a great quake: boom, boooom, boooooooommmmmm. I has horrified. Never mind the fact that I'd hurt the heck out of my right knee. All I wanted to do was recover as quickly and gracefully as possible.

When I got myself together, I looked up, and the elevator was PACKED! Everyone stopped talking and looked at me. One man helped me to my feet and asked me if I was OK. I made light of my clumsiness and told him I was fine.

Now, prior to my fall the elevator had been moving in a upward motion. But as the after shocks subsided and the doors closed, the elevator started to descend. At which point a gentleman way in the back of the elevator (and whom I later learned worked in the mail room) exclaimed:

DAMN, GIRL, YOU DONE BROKE THE ELEVATOR!

When I finally reached my destination, I remember thinking thank God I was wearing pants. Imagine if, on top of breaking the elevator, someone had gotten a peak at my ultra big girls panties!!!

I would have never lived that one down. Oh, and it took weeks for my knee to heal.

Anyone want to join in on the fun?

Hi everyone, well things have been going really well here. I've maintained my no contact and have been working on me steadily now for months.

So, here is my latest development that I'd like to share and get some input. I met a man, last week, we've been talking for hours on the phone each night and really enjoy his company. He is a widower, has a lovely family that are very close (healthy relations, no A or drugs), financially independent, owns his own home, great sense of humour, caring and considerate.

We had dinner the other night and he came across a bit strong in the "physical" side, I was ok with cuddling on the couch but didn't want to get into a heavy necking situation. I explained this to him and he stopped immediately, apologized, said absolutely no problem, he understood where I was coming from, understood the hurt/pain that I went thru with my XAH and would not pressure me. He was a gentleman about it 100%. So I'm good with this and thinking ok he respects me, I was clear on communicating what I wanted and felt good about being to express these thoughts.

We were talking on the phone last night and I made a totally innocent comment about sleeping in the nude now that I have an electric blanket. Didn't go any further both of us just kept chatting.

This morning I get my morning email from him and this is part of it:

Thoughts of you, well now you naughty girl, giving me visions of you crawling naked into that warm bed, shall I tell you what we did together last night,,,,
Or did you dream to?
I will if you tell me I can, naughty and nice thing where sent your way last night.

I think he is asking me in a roundabout way to start writing about sex stuff. I'm definitely not ready for any of that stuff, I have (had in the long past) a healthy attitude towards sex and see nothing wrong with stuff like that. But, I'm not ready for any of that now, hell I wasn't comfortable with a french kiss and now this. Am I over reacting here? I'm not sure what my inner voice is really saying. Half of me is yelling run run run away and other is yelling take some time to think about this. Now I'm confused.

Thoughts from you all would be greatly appreciated.

One of my sponsee's who just picked up 5 months recently called and we talked for a bit yesterday.... just general stuff and then I had to do my house husband duties and have dinner on the table for my wife when she got home so I told him to call me back in a bit after a while if he wanted to talk more.

Well first of all to lay a little back ground for the miracle, this gentleman is without a doubt one of us straight out of the BB with a dose of crackhead thrown in for good measure, he really struggled for the first 2 months, we spoke & prayed together often as well as doing step work and things started going really well for him.

Okay so he calls me back and says in a perfectly normal tone of voice "Well, guess what just happened?" Well I didn't think it was anything big by the way he sounded on the phone so I calmly said "What?"...... He replied "I just got canned!" We spoke for a good while after that, not one time did he whine, not one time did he say he felt like a drink or a hit off the pipe, he told me of the phone conversation and said he did not get angry with the guy even though he felt his getting the can was total BS which I agree it was.

He is going to call his big boss today to see what is really up because the guy who gave him the can is also one of us but still very actively drinking and is known to fly off the handle about nothing and can people. My sponsee said "Well I guess like you say, everything happens for a purpose!" he had made an amends ealier this week to a guy he had known since grade school who he has known since grade school.

The guy was the best man at his wedding and had helped him through some really rough times when he was drinking and drugging. He told me Wednesday that he was on cloud 9 after making the amends, he said that his friend and he hugged and that his friend was linging him up with some side work.

As my sponsee and I spoke he was actually in a pretty good place, he said that if after talking with his big boss he did not get his job back he was not worried, because his friend he had just made amends to was going to offer him a job, but since he already had one he just offered him side work.

The Miracle????? If you had known this man 3-5 months ago you would have never dreamed he could have handled what just happened to him. He is showing me that the program does work when one works it!

Last night I drove to my first Al-Anon meeting, only nobody showed up. I was discouraged/disappointed, because I needed SOMETHING last night. But there was a gentleman there for an AA meeting, and he gave me a phone number to call to find out where there are some "good" meetings.

I come home to an empty house. I waited until about 10:00 to call out to ABF's mothers's house, because he had left earlier to go help her move some stuff. I knew he would be drinking anyway, just because he would be around his uncle who is also an alcoholic, and always supplies beer. Chris had no money. She informs me that Chris went up town for a drink. I don't know where he got the money, but I asked her to do me a favor and make sure he doesn't come back here, that the doors were gonna be locked, I was done putting up with this.

He called at 8:30 this morning, I didn't answer the first several times, but then gave in and answered. He's going off about how I kicked him out, etc. and he wanted his things. I told him he can get them later as I am going to be gone. That wasn't good enough, he shows up at my bedroom window, had his mom with him. I agreed to let her come in the house and get things as long as he stayed outside. This worked for a while, then he just had to come in and make sure we got everything (his stuff was never really unpacked from last time). So then it starts...how I got what I wanted now, and I can be single and go find someone else, this is what I have wanted for weeks now, etc. Then, he tells me he met someone! He tells me he's gonna charm her and do anything she asks him to. At this point, I told him he needed to leave.

After he left, I went to get the phone, it was gone. I heard him pick up the phone and check my caller id, but didn't think too much about it. The ******* took my phone. So I went to the dollar store and got a new one, and called him to let him know he can have it, I got a new one and that I will even give him the rest of the phone so he can use it.

He starts trying to be nice, like asking what I'm doing today, if we can be friends, etc. It's all bullshit manipulations. I told him we can't be friends if he's replaced me and he said "I didn't say that". WTF?

It makes me sick to think that he did meet someone, although he has used that before to bother me. He had the same clothes on from yesterday. Now I"m obsessing over this other woman. That's why I didn't want him to come in, because I knew he would say something like that to get to me.

But I guess this is what I needed for my recovery, now I just have to stay strong. The hard part will be to hang up the phone....since I can't know when he's calling now because he has my good phone!!!!

Hi Ladies (and perhaps a Gentleman or two!). Hope all is well, as always.

Short story... had an ex who was an addict... if you're really interested, you can probably find some pretty pathetic posts pre-February 2007 from me regarding the same! Broke it off when the legal trouble started on his part... one thing I know I can't handle. Began dating another guy... he was completely "socially acceptable", shall I say, but our relationship had the passion of a footrest... eventually ended up seeing ex-ABF after breaking it off with Mr. Socially Acceptable... which led to dancing with ex-ABF (we are at a concert, so that wasn't as strange as it sounds)...which of course led to admitting undying-and-perpetual-love for ex-ABF... conveniently about a year and a half after I broke it off and a month before he went to court-ordered rehab for said legal troubles for 90-plus days.

Court-ordered rehab is more than halfway through... I believe... and now of course my brain is starting to ramble. Say what you will (really, it's fine :0) but I think this is it for him and the drugs. I really do. But as a result of the drugs... of course life issues arise. I've been living on my own since I was 15... and I suppose his plan is to move in with his parents when he gets back (at almost 28 years old)... no job to speak of... parents and family have plenty of financial support and always have (don't get me started on that!) so I doubt he's ever sat down and paid bills in his life, at least for all of his own expenses... so here's what I'm faced with.

Despite the fact that I've been doing quite well with the "no expectations" thing in the present, I have a "list"... I know, bad sign. But I still do. It is a list of things he would have to do before I would want to start a life with him... most recently brought to a head by the idea of marriage, which he's presented ever since we "reconnected" (we were together for over three years, so it's not insane if not for the fact that he is currently semi-incarcerated!).

So here's the list...

1. He needs to get a job. Being part of his family is not a job, IMO. :)

2. He needs to get his own place and take care of it... that includes paying bills, keeping it clean, not causing it to light on fire... etc.

3. He needs to be responsible for his stuff and take care of it... vehicle, health insurance, generaly "Big Boy" stuff.

That's really all I've got. But I know it's not appropriate for me to demand these "expectations" from him.. trouble is, I'm not sure that changing the phrasing... i.e., "I won't accept a relationship with a person who lives with his 'rents" really changes the meaning of any of it. Should I just sit down with him and have one conversation about it? My mom's been sober for four years, and this is what she suggested. She said to get out my expectations, not hide them - but of course, she's an "interested party".

I wish I could talk to my old sponsor about this, but she's actually the one who hooked me up with Mr. Socially Acceptable, so it's all weird with us. I literally don't have the time to make the ONE Alanon meeting within 100 miles of us because of a work commitment that night I can't get out of, either.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

A while ago I mentioned a gentleman who went back out after 22 years in the program getting 2 DWIs and totalling his bike in less then 4 months.......... well I learned last night that he T-boned a car killing an 8 year old girl.

Say a prayer for her and her family as well as him and his family.