Drug Rehab Options Blog

Hey everyone... I've posted on here before, mostly about my struggles with my alcoholic dad, and also about my (currently losing) battle to quit smoking... but I'm finally at a point where I'm willing to admit I'm starting to use alcohol a little too much as a crutch to deal with some painful situations going on. I'm definitely the type of person that's guilty of the "oh, I'm not as bad as "that guy" so I must be ok" but I'm starting to realize it's becoming more and more of a problem in my life. I don't drink every day, and there are times where I have one or 2 and no more, and even a lot of situations recently that have come up where I could drink, or am around drinking, and don't have a drop. I even just had ginger ale at a bachelorette party last weekend. BUT, I know how easily and quickly things can slide downhill, and I want to keep that from happening. Beucase there ARE nights when I will very happily settle in at home (I live alone) and finish off a 6-pack or even more by myself... a few times when I've had to call into work because I'm hungover, either from drinking at home or going out with friends and having one too many... I went through an immensely painful breakup in March, and I realize, that pales in comparison to what so many have gone through, but the pain is still real and raw for me and it's like I experience it over and over every day. There's more details to that I'll go into later, but I'll just say the EX is not a drinker and the break-up was not alcohol related in any way. I just see myself walking down a very dangerous hill, and i'm scared I'm going to lose my footing and start skidding and then rolling out of control, and I don't want that to happen. I do go to Alanon meetings because of my dad, not sure if AA is for me at this point, but I do read posts here faithfully, and I know there's a huge wealth of ESH here, and I'm hoping to reap a little bit of that for myself... I know I need to take it one day at a time...
thanks all for listening, and I do appreciate the huge amounts of time and effort and wisdom you all put into making this board what it is...
-Alice