Archive for the ‘Household Bills’ tag
Doing so well…Until today
Hello All,
I posted last week explaining that my alcoholic partner had left me after a hard 5 years, we have a baby together and since his alcoholic Father has come into a lot of money (7 weeks ago now) he has stopped contacting me about mine and her wellbeing, left the family home, us, his car, his job and not turned up for several meetings with her (though I wanted to see him too) arranged through his Sister, when we have spoken he's told me several times that it's over, accept it and that he doesn't love me anymore, though this I am finding so very very difficult to accept because before his fathers Money he did really appear to love me and her and I really know that he did despite all the difficulties his lifestyle gave us.
You all gave me tremendous words of support and I had a great weekend with my family and friends really feling one step closer to finding normal again.
Anyhow, felt the need to write becasue today I feel dreadful. My best friend was out in our local pub and then on to a nightclub last night and he was out seemingly having the time of his life, she is very honest with me and simply said that he was drunk (obviously) but quite content and full of fun and didn't even ask her how either of us were (she was always a good family friend so I find this just plain odd).
I now feel a mix of things, 1. All the sadness and missing him has resurfaced and I just want to call his sisters phone to even be able to talk to him though I know he will just want me off the phone and I'll feel even worse at the end. 2.Jealousy I guess that others are still able to spend happy times with him but we are not as he finds it too problematic. 3. Anger, whilst he hasn't contributed a penny to her in 7 weeks - all my household bills are the same and I'm struggling and cold he is able to go to expensive nightclubs without even a thought.
So these are my questions if any of you can help again-
How do I get over all this again? And do you think he really, really doesn't love me so much he can't even bear to see me or speak to me and his baby daughter who he seemed to adore. Does any part of him miss me? and if it does would he even recognise it after 7 weeks of solid heavy drinking?
I know how I'm coming across and I know the answer, that I need to concentrate on me, which I was feeling I was doing but obviously that must have been false because I'm right back where I was 7 weeks ago today, I think the tablets for depression are working and it'd good not to have the angst of living with a drunk but the yearning and emptiness that his leaving has left behind today, feels worse than all of the disaster and chaos we had when he was there.
So sorry for bleating on again, but this has been a lifeline for me, you are all so wise and kind. x
I posted last week explaining that my alcoholic partner had left me after a hard 5 years, we have a baby together and since his alcoholic Father has come into a lot of money (7 weeks ago now) he has stopped contacting me about mine and her wellbeing, left the family home, us, his car, his job and not turned up for several meetings with her (though I wanted to see him too) arranged through his Sister, when we have spoken he's told me several times that it's over, accept it and that he doesn't love me anymore, though this I am finding so very very difficult to accept because before his fathers Money he did really appear to love me and her and I really know that he did despite all the difficulties his lifestyle gave us.
You all gave me tremendous words of support and I had a great weekend with my family and friends really feling one step closer to finding normal again.
Anyhow, felt the need to write becasue today I feel dreadful. My best friend was out in our local pub and then on to a nightclub last night and he was out seemingly having the time of his life, she is very honest with me and simply said that he was drunk (obviously) but quite content and full of fun and didn't even ask her how either of us were (she was always a good family friend so I find this just plain odd).
I now feel a mix of things, 1. All the sadness and missing him has resurfaced and I just want to call his sisters phone to even be able to talk to him though I know he will just want me off the phone and I'll feel even worse at the end. 2.Jealousy I guess that others are still able to spend happy times with him but we are not as he finds it too problematic. 3. Anger, whilst he hasn't contributed a penny to her in 7 weeks - all my household bills are the same and I'm struggling and cold he is able to go to expensive nightclubs without even a thought.
So these are my questions if any of you can help again-
How do I get over all this again? And do you think he really, really doesn't love me so much he can't even bear to see me or speak to me and his baby daughter who he seemed to adore. Does any part of him miss me? and if it does would he even recognise it after 7 weeks of solid heavy drinking?
I know how I'm coming across and I know the answer, that I need to concentrate on me, which I was feeling I was doing but obviously that must have been false because I'm right back where I was 7 weeks ago today, I think the tablets for depression are working and it'd good not to have the angst of living with a drunk but the yearning and emptiness that his leaving has left behind today, feels worse than all of the disaster and chaos we had when he was there.
So sorry for bleating on again, but this has been a lifeline for me, you are all so wise and kind. x
How to help him help himself
Hi
My OH and I married 4 yrs ago (late starters) I knew he liked to drink but then so did /do I. We work together in a very stressful enviornment and effectively I am his boss.
He goes to the local every night for three pints, OK fine, But then he comes home and drinks 6 or 8 cans of larger.
When I approached the subject, he always said 'you drink your wine', so I stopped drinking 6 weeks ago. He however seems to be getting worse.
I would always find the odd can hidden around the house or his car etc and he would say Oh I forgot I had that, But twice lately I have found full 6 packs, one hidden outside the back door and last night one hidden in 'his' bedroom.
He stinks of larger day and night and it is becoming an embarrasment.
He seems to get drunk on 3 or 4 cans (the ones that i know about) and slurs and looks literally stupid. When I tried to talk about it last night he got verbally agressive so I gave up. Now he says, 'Oh your great !! You gave up drinking for a few weeks and now your perfect ..'
I must add that in the three years since we bought our home he has NEVER contributed financially to the mortgage or household bills, not even a pint of milk... as his 'salary' is only 200 a week 'pocket money'. This he spends soley on beer and tobacco.
He has offered to sign over his half of the house to me but my solicitor says it is not possible as long as we are legally married.
Honestly I just want him to disappear...
Has anyone any experience of this type of situation ?
My OH and I married 4 yrs ago (late starters) I knew he liked to drink but then so did /do I. We work together in a very stressful enviornment and effectively I am his boss.
He goes to the local every night for three pints, OK fine, But then he comes home and drinks 6 or 8 cans of larger.
When I approached the subject, he always said 'you drink your wine', so I stopped drinking 6 weeks ago. He however seems to be getting worse.
I would always find the odd can hidden around the house or his car etc and he would say Oh I forgot I had that, But twice lately I have found full 6 packs, one hidden outside the back door and last night one hidden in 'his' bedroom.
He stinks of larger day and night and it is becoming an embarrasment.
He seems to get drunk on 3 or 4 cans (the ones that i know about) and slurs and looks literally stupid. When I tried to talk about it last night he got verbally agressive so I gave up. Now he says, 'Oh your great !! You gave up drinking for a few weeks and now your perfect ..'
I must add that in the three years since we bought our home he has NEVER contributed financially to the mortgage or household bills, not even a pint of milk... as his 'salary' is only 200 a week 'pocket money'. This he spends soley on beer and tobacco.
He has offered to sign over his half of the house to me but my solicitor says it is not possible as long as we are legally married.
Honestly I just want him to disappear...
Has anyone any experience of this type of situation ?
