Archive for the ‘Humor’ tag
laughter can sometimes be the best medicine, even if short-term
last night at work i had a bad headache so i took tylenol and drank pepperment tea and chamomile tea and lots of water but still had the headache two hours later. (perhaps because i'm only a week into detox)
one of my co-workers who is into holistic healing said my headache would go away if she tied rubberbands to the end of my fingers and left them there for five minutes.
it was so ridiculous that i had a good laugh and my headache went away!
it's hard to find humor in some of the situations that we are facing with alcohol and getting sober, but if you can find that one person to make you laugh, it is truly a blessing.
one of my co-workers who is into holistic healing said my headache would go away if she tied rubberbands to the end of my fingers and left them there for five minutes.
it was so ridiculous that i had a good laugh and my headache went away!
it's hard to find humor in some of the situations that we are facing with alcohol and getting sober, but if you can find that one person to make you laugh, it is truly a blessing.
Some humor
The Value of a Drink
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
movies…
I've been feeling nervous and blue... Anybody have any good movie recommendations for the sake of distraction? Preferably humor- they say laughter is good medicine...:thanks:
reaching out for effective help in 12 step program as a non god person
Hey guys....just thought this might be a good topic for those of us who use either the 12 steps or AA and 12 steps as non-god people.
So....I have found it very important that I be very upfront with the members of the meetings I attend that I am not a god person. I don't like get in anyones face about it...but i do mention it on a regular basis. It really has helped to make the help I get more effective cause it helps people know what things clearly won't be very helpful to me when i am in trouble or in pain.
I have also had to be very tolerant of thier beliefs as they are tollerent of mine. I try to share how i would do something very similar to what they do in a way that doesn't tie to a "god". So we end up with an understanding of how we are really so similar even though our belief systems seem so different.
I also know who NOT to call when I am in trouble :lmao
I also find humor helpful...my friends who are god people will laughinly talk about my "strange" program..but it is laughter of love and companionship not of thinking i'm stupid or something like that. And I laugh about their strange programs too.
I've been very fortunate in this support I've found, but to some degree I did have to make some very strong efforts to make this happen.
Anyways...just wanted to share it for any of you who are trying to do the 12 step meeting thing.
:bday8
So....I have found it very important that I be very upfront with the members of the meetings I attend that I am not a god person. I don't like get in anyones face about it...but i do mention it on a regular basis. It really has helped to make the help I get more effective cause it helps people know what things clearly won't be very helpful to me when i am in trouble or in pain.
I have also had to be very tolerant of thier beliefs as they are tollerent of mine. I try to share how i would do something very similar to what they do in a way that doesn't tie to a "god". So we end up with an understanding of how we are really so similar even though our belief systems seem so different.
I also know who NOT to call when I am in trouble :lmao
I also find humor helpful...my friends who are god people will laughinly talk about my "strange" program..but it is laughter of love and companionship not of thinking i'm stupid or something like that. And I laugh about their strange programs too.
I've been very fortunate in this support I've found, but to some degree I did have to make some very strong efforts to make this happen.
Anyways...just wanted to share it for any of you who are trying to do the 12 step meeting thing.
:bday8
A victory……. of sorts, I guess.
Well, mixed feelings, for sure, but last night was relapse #3 (when do you stop counting and consider that they are just going to always be relapsing, I wonder) and that's the bummer part. The GOOD, part ("good"?) was that we had agreed that IF he drank, he would not "bring it home" and he wouldn't continue to send me hateful and blaming texts to try to engage in drama. Well....... this is an absolute FIRST, but he called to tell me that he had "had a few" and wouldn't be coming home....... "cuz that's what I wanted, right..... well, right? I mean, did I REALLY want him to spend all that money on a hotel...... it was only one beer, actually, so did I REALLY want that...." quack.... quack......quack.....
Well, I don't want to waste(!) money on a hotel room (!), but my friend put it wonderfully....
After receiving the one and only text of the night from my AH: "one beer, $150 dollar hotel room" , my friend immediately responded: "one peaceful night at home..... PRICELESS!"
LOL, I LOVE THAT! So, that's my story. Boy, you just gotta find humor in these stories sometimes, right?:Dance7:
Well, I don't want to waste(!) money on a hotel room (!), but my friend put it wonderfully....
After receiving the one and only text of the night from my AH: "one beer, $150 dollar hotel room" , my friend immediately responded: "one peaceful night at home..... PRICELESS!"
LOL, I LOVE THAT! So, that's my story. Boy, you just gotta find humor in these stories sometimes, right?:Dance7:
