Archive for the ‘Hump’ tag
Hello all I’m new
Hi there, I have already posted a few times in alcoholsim and women in recovery but I thought I'd say hi over here. I'm all over the map with my substance abuse but mainly in the past little while its been booze. I was however a equal opportunity addict. I've been clean and sober for 2 weeks now and every day is a struggle. I'm practically over the hump of detox but I'm definetly not feeling great. I just wanted to introduce myself.
Suboxone Relapse…but i was doing so good…i thought
Real quick:
I have been on 2mgs of suboxone for a year....came down to 1mg when i lost my insurance then got to day 3 and had a lot to do so i got some st drugs.
Immediately went back to the dr for more suboxone....i am currently on 2mgs but need to stop. It's too expensive and i amnot working right now so this is the perfect opportunity.
Day 1: Sun Oct 12 - I felt FINE too good almost...cheery hopeful
Day 2: MOnday - chilled every now and then but still was eating good and doing normalthings like cleaning house
Day 3: Tuesday - very lethargic but and had the poops like crazy but i could still get up and do things
Day 4: wednesday - I really thought i was over the hump onthis day....i was tired, couldn't eat anything but chicken noodle soup then as soon as i ate it i would throw it up then go to the toilet ...gross i'm sorry
Day 5: Yesterday - Death became me....there's no reason anyone should feel this badly....and i struggled....almost all day......i was wearing three pairs of clothing and was wrapped up in 3 blankets and was still cold and sweated through all 3 pairs...i broke down.....i called people and was cryiing telling them how i felt and how maybe if i just LICKED a part of a pill it would give me the energy to get through this.....they all agreed....take 1 mg
....so i did
and i felt like a milllion bucks....so i guess i'll start again next monday? i have to sell my art at the flea market this weekend to pay rent...i thought 6 days would do it....maybe it could have, dangit ...has anyone EVER survived this?
I have been on 2mgs of suboxone for a year....came down to 1mg when i lost my insurance then got to day 3 and had a lot to do so i got some st drugs.
Immediately went back to the dr for more suboxone....i am currently on 2mgs but need to stop. It's too expensive and i amnot working right now so this is the perfect opportunity.
Day 1: Sun Oct 12 - I felt FINE too good almost...cheery hopeful
Day 2: MOnday - chilled every now and then but still was eating good and doing normalthings like cleaning house
Day 3: Tuesday - very lethargic but and had the poops like crazy but i could still get up and do things
Day 4: wednesday - I really thought i was over the hump onthis day....i was tired, couldn't eat anything but chicken noodle soup then as soon as i ate it i would throw it up then go to the toilet ...gross i'm sorry
Day 5: Yesterday - Death became me....there's no reason anyone should feel this badly....and i struggled....almost all day......i was wearing three pairs of clothing and was wrapped up in 3 blankets and was still cold and sweated through all 3 pairs...i broke down.....i called people and was cryiing telling them how i felt and how maybe if i just LICKED a part of a pill it would give me the energy to get through this.....they all agreed....take 1 mg
....so i did
and i felt like a milllion bucks....so i guess i'll start again next monday? i have to sell my art at the flea market this weekend to pay rent...i thought 6 days would do it....maybe it could have, dangit ...has anyone EVER survived this?
Deja Vu All Over Again
Well, I did it again. Another nasty bender that left me hospitalized, and I got very suicidal and ended up in residential rehab (9th rehab program I've started, but first inpatient) as it seemed a fine alternative to 5150. I just transitioned to day treatment and sober living.
I never got over my past incidents and resentments, and I was working a fairly strong AA program, but one that was full of half measures--lack of service, and recovery was not always my first priority.
I'm pulling out all the stops this time to get some structure and get sober. I lost my fiancee and apartment again, almost a year to the day I lost them last year. Luckily I still have my job; my boss is very supportive, thank god.
I'm being treated for bipolar and have a new therapist who is an addiction specialist. Hopefully this can get me over the hump of depression, mania and obsessive thoughts that keep taking me out every few months. It's hard to believe I have to go through all this when I've drank only six times in the last 400 days. Each time I get drunk now I get drugs, and the coke/booze combo nearly killed me this time. I sink into a dark depression that is worse every time I go out. I just don't have the luxury of "one last run".
Thanks for listening.
MR
I never got over my past incidents and resentments, and I was working a fairly strong AA program, but one that was full of half measures--lack of service, and recovery was not always my first priority.
I'm pulling out all the stops this time to get some structure and get sober. I lost my fiancee and apartment again, almost a year to the day I lost them last year. Luckily I still have my job; my boss is very supportive, thank god.
I'm being treated for bipolar and have a new therapist who is an addiction specialist. Hopefully this can get me over the hump of depression, mania and obsessive thoughts that keep taking me out every few months. It's hard to believe I have to go through all this when I've drank only six times in the last 400 days. Each time I get drunk now I get drugs, and the coke/booze combo nearly killed me this time. I sink into a dark depression that is worse every time I go out. I just don't have the luxury of "one last run".
Thanks for listening.
MR
