Archive for the ‘Imagination’ tag
We are not a glum lot
Quote:
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We have shown how we got out from under. You say: "Yes, I'm willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?" Yes, there is a substitute, and it is vastly more than that. It is a Fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom, and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find The Fellowship, and so will you. "How is that to come about?" you ask. "Where am I to find these people?" You are going ot meet these new friends in your own community. Near you alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich and poor, these are future Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common yourney. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself, that others may survive and rediscover life. You will learn the full meaning of "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Big Book chapter A Vision For You) |
Learning to give of ourselves fills the hole in our spirit caused by our former slothful indifference to our responsibilites and to the welfare of others. The incalculable benefits of self-sacrifice replace the baleful results of selfishness. To awaken spiritually and find fellowship with others united in a great purpose gives us a satisfaction and sense of fulfillment we never dreamed possible.
Update & Continued Prayer Request…
I want to thank everyone on this board for your prayers & support. My ABF (who I split up with a several months ago) has been through ALOT the past couple of months. We had split up twice before this, but this time I prayed really hard that if God wanted him in my life, to bring him back a 3rd & final time, but realizing he has an A problem. Well, he DID come back, and seems different....says he "hit bottom".....well....in my opinion, he is still drinking so he isn;t "quite there" yet.....but I feel God WORKING on SOMETHING :praying!!! It is just incredible. SLOW....God's time, not mine.....lol..ugh (I'm SO impatient!!) but WORKING.
Just today I was having a bad time, a job came to him that I at first thought would hurt our relationship ( the devil was working overtime on me, my imagination was going crazy).......and out of the blue a Christian ladyfriend of mine phoned & asked if everything was okay. She said she could not get me out of her mind today. SO....long story short, that phone call really helped put my mind back in prospective, and was clearly from GOD!!!!
Things are working out slowly......but so far my ABF isn't ready to deal with a DUI warrant from 2004........he just doesn't want to discuss it, and it scares me. He's afraid of the jail time (probably only 3-5 months, some possibly house arrest), and also says he doesn;t have $$ for the fines, so it's no use dealing with it.....:skillet
It does seem like there is no way out of his situation, yet I KNOW with God NOTHING is impossible!!
As for my life, I really need a life partner so badly. I long to be married again, and I do love this man.
So I'm asking all of you to continue to pray for my BF to realize he has to face this DUI from 2004. (If it is God's will). And more importantly, that he realizes he needs to FIND GOD in his life. We are living in such critical times!! His childhood was horrendous, so it's extremely difficult for him. But I DO believe God is working on him.
There is power in numbers, so please continue to pray for his & our situation. Thank you all for listening!!
Just today I was having a bad time, a job came to him that I at first thought would hurt our relationship ( the devil was working overtime on me, my imagination was going crazy).......and out of the blue a Christian ladyfriend of mine phoned & asked if everything was okay. She said she could not get me out of her mind today. SO....long story short, that phone call really helped put my mind back in prospective, and was clearly from GOD!!!!
Things are working out slowly......but so far my ABF isn't ready to deal with a DUI warrant from 2004........he just doesn't want to discuss it, and it scares me. He's afraid of the jail time (probably only 3-5 months, some possibly house arrest), and also says he doesn;t have $$ for the fines, so it's no use dealing with it.....:skillet
It does seem like there is no way out of his situation, yet I KNOW with God NOTHING is impossible!!
As for my life, I really need a life partner so badly. I long to be married again, and I do love this man.
So I'm asking all of you to continue to pray for my BF to realize he has to face this DUI from 2004. (If it is God's will). And more importantly, that he realizes he needs to FIND GOD in his life. We are living in such critical times!! His childhood was horrendous, so it's extremely difficult for him. But I DO believe God is working on him.
There is power in numbers, so please continue to pray for his & our situation. Thank you all for listening!!
No Contact Rule: hope this helps
I noticed a lot of sadness for those here who are trying to break it off with a significant other....I am in the same place. I am posting this article on NO CONTACT with the hopes it helps you heal.
The No Contact Rule
May 14, 2007 by Rose City Girl
If you are not acquainted with the No Contact Rule, now is the time. The ‘No Contact Rule’ is established for the following reason; an inability to cut off a relationship that is over.
While the rule may sound simple, let me tell you, itÂ’s not, which is all the more reason to enforce it when possible. Breaking up with someone can cause a rollercoaster of emotions including anger, frustration and large amounts of pain which is all the more reason to get away as soon as possible from the source that is causing it. Relationships can be dragged out for months and in some cases years when one or both parties stays in continual contact even though its obvious that the relationship is long over.
How to abide by the No Contact Rule
1. No calling. Period. I donÂ’t care if your cat ran away; your house burned down or if your car dumped you on the side of the road. Drama is not a reason to stir up a phone call to the ex. Drunk dialing is big no-no as well. If you feel like calling, call a friend until the feeling passes.
2. No sex. I know giving up a relationship means giving up sex, but it’s a dangerous recipe to continue intimate relations with an ex. Not only can you become dependent on this closeness but it keeps you in the dark ages on the “get over him” timeline. That’s what vibrators are for.
3. No spying. You would be amazed at how many women I have known that take it upon themselves to do a quick drive by of the exÂ’s house. This can satisfy that craving to know if he is home or out on the town with the boys. Worse case scenario you see a strange car outside and your imagination hits an all time high. DonÂ’t do it. This can cause an emotional phone call (see #1) to your ex. Besides, blabbing to him what you saw will only make you look psycho. Not good.
4. No information sharing through friends. If you the two of you have mutual friends, donÂ’t volunteer information to them in hopes they are going to tell your ex. It is tempting to want your ex to know that you won the million dollar lottery or just met the man of your dreams but it benefits neither one of you in the end. If your friends are blabbing, ask them nicely to keep your personal information to themselves.
5. Get rid of temptation by deleting your exÂ’s phone number from your mobile/cell phone (this will prevent drunk dialing) and block his email address. This adds more security layers to the No Contact Rule in an age of technology.
The No Contact Rule exists to hasten the healing process. By dragging out the end of a relationship, it only delays you from happiness in the future. It is important to allow yourself time to mourn the end of the relationship but keep the no contact rule in place. It will be hard at first but the longer you go, the easier it gets. Remember, practice makes perfect. If you find that you slipped up on any of the above, donÂ’t beat yourself up. ItÂ’s never too late to start fresh. Remember, no contact means NO CONTACT. ItÂ’s the first and most important step to moving on. Now, go get started!
The No Contact Rule
May 14, 2007 by Rose City Girl
If you are not acquainted with the No Contact Rule, now is the time. The ‘No Contact Rule’ is established for the following reason; an inability to cut off a relationship that is over.
While the rule may sound simple, let me tell you, itÂ’s not, which is all the more reason to enforce it when possible. Breaking up with someone can cause a rollercoaster of emotions including anger, frustration and large amounts of pain which is all the more reason to get away as soon as possible from the source that is causing it. Relationships can be dragged out for months and in some cases years when one or both parties stays in continual contact even though its obvious that the relationship is long over.
How to abide by the No Contact Rule
1. No calling. Period. I donÂ’t care if your cat ran away; your house burned down or if your car dumped you on the side of the road. Drama is not a reason to stir up a phone call to the ex. Drunk dialing is big no-no as well. If you feel like calling, call a friend until the feeling passes.
2. No sex. I know giving up a relationship means giving up sex, but it’s a dangerous recipe to continue intimate relations with an ex. Not only can you become dependent on this closeness but it keeps you in the dark ages on the “get over him” timeline. That’s what vibrators are for.
3. No spying. You would be amazed at how many women I have known that take it upon themselves to do a quick drive by of the exÂ’s house. This can satisfy that craving to know if he is home or out on the town with the boys. Worse case scenario you see a strange car outside and your imagination hits an all time high. DonÂ’t do it. This can cause an emotional phone call (see #1) to your ex. Besides, blabbing to him what you saw will only make you look psycho. Not good.
4. No information sharing through friends. If you the two of you have mutual friends, donÂ’t volunteer information to them in hopes they are going to tell your ex. It is tempting to want your ex to know that you won the million dollar lottery or just met the man of your dreams but it benefits neither one of you in the end. If your friends are blabbing, ask them nicely to keep your personal information to themselves.
5. Get rid of temptation by deleting your exÂ’s phone number from your mobile/cell phone (this will prevent drunk dialing) and block his email address. This adds more security layers to the No Contact Rule in an age of technology.
The No Contact Rule exists to hasten the healing process. By dragging out the end of a relationship, it only delays you from happiness in the future. It is important to allow yourself time to mourn the end of the relationship but keep the no contact rule in place. It will be hard at first but the longer you go, the easier it gets. Remember, practice makes perfect. If you find that you slipped up on any of the above, donÂ’t beat yourself up. ItÂ’s never too late to start fresh. Remember, no contact means NO CONTACT. ItÂ’s the first and most important step to moving on. Now, go get started!
tomorrow is 2 weeks!
Friday and saturday I faced truly ferocious cravings. I have to be honest it was brutal. But I am beginnning to realize that my cravings hit hardest on those 2 days. I think because everyone around me is talking about their drinking plans for the weekend and because I have little to no commitments to keep on those days.
Through sheer willpower (and the help of this site) I was able to keep all alcohol at bay. Instead I did a 10 kilometer run today and indulged in my friends home made tacos (a rare meal here in japan).
Its weird, because later I still hung out with people who were drinking, but once in that environment I was completely uninterested in drinking. Its like my mind got more excited imagining how fun drinking would be but when I actually saw it in action I was completely content to stay sober.
I guess everyone is different when it comes to what triggers cravings. I do have a wild imagination so perhaps it plays a huge role in creating a fantasy land where alcohol is fun.
Not only is this a journey in staying sober, but I suppose I am really getting to know myself better in the process as well.
Also I must mention that this breaks my old record for staying sober and I am now excited about reaching my first month.
Through sheer willpower (and the help of this site) I was able to keep all alcohol at bay. Instead I did a 10 kilometer run today and indulged in my friends home made tacos (a rare meal here in japan).
Its weird, because later I still hung out with people who were drinking, but once in that environment I was completely uninterested in drinking. Its like my mind got more excited imagining how fun drinking would be but when I actually saw it in action I was completely content to stay sober.
I guess everyone is different when it comes to what triggers cravings. I do have a wild imagination so perhaps it plays a huge role in creating a fantasy land where alcohol is fun.
Not only is this a journey in staying sober, but I suppose I am really getting to know myself better in the process as well.
Also I must mention that this breaks my old record for staying sober and I am now excited about reaching my first month.
Seizures
I got a phone call this evening from my XAGF's sister. XAGF has had a couple of seizures today and she's now in hospital. XAGF has been on a massive binge for the past couple of months and was staying with her sister to dry out. XAGF has long been having severe alcohol withdrawal symptoms when she's sobering up, but this is the first time I've known her to have seizures.
I'm scared, to be honest. I know that seizures are a serious danger sign. I'm trying not to let my imagination run away with me here with what could have happened if her sister wasn't there to call the ambulance, or what might happen if she deteriorates further. But having to explain to my children that their mother has finally drunk herself to death is a fear that I find very hard to completely block out.
I haven't told my children yet that their mum's in hospital, but I will do soon. I don't think it will be to anyone's benefit for my kids to see her there but I may get them to make her a card or something. That, and to repeatedly recite the 3C's, is about all I can think to do right now.
Mr B.
I'm scared, to be honest. I know that seizures are a serious danger sign. I'm trying not to let my imagination run away with me here with what could have happened if her sister wasn't there to call the ambulance, or what might happen if she deteriorates further. But having to explain to my children that their mother has finally drunk herself to death is a fear that I find very hard to completely block out.
I haven't told my children yet that their mum's in hospital, but I will do soon. I don't think it will be to anyone's benefit for my kids to see her there but I may get them to make her a card or something. That, and to repeatedly recite the 3C's, is about all I can think to do right now.
Mr B.
