Archive for the ‘Imo’ tag
All Suboxone Monday starters!
Reading through these posts the last few days it seems that there are several people starting their suboxone treatment Monday (11/30/08). I think there are 3-4 of you starting your sub treatments on Monday (maybe a few more). I want to wish you all the best of luck and offer you my heartfelt best wishes. When I first started on this site I was one of just a few people (BV & KJ included) that used subs--it was sort of not the preferred way to go when I started. I am glad to see that more people are coming here to inquire about this drug. I use another forum as well that is dedicated to suboxone users, so I'm used to being with all sub users in my 'chats'. It is really nice to see people coming here to ask questions as well as to see more open-mindedness of other members and their support for the member choosing to go the route of suboxone treatment.
Please please please all of you keep us updated on how things go. Feel free to ask about any questions, concerns, sub dose, sub side effects, anything at all while you are getting started. You will be amazed at the difference. It really is a change that no matter how many times we tell you that you'll feel so much better, it isn't until you experience it for yourself will you see what we've been talking about. Do NOT put a time-limit on your use of the subs...you take them as long as you need to which means you take them until you are at the lowest possible risk for relapse when you taper off of them. ALso, do not stress about withdrawaling from them. If it is done correctly, and if the taper is well-controlled, the wd froms subs can be nill. I wont say there are not any wd effects, but there are some people and posts you will come across who will make it out to sound like it's as bad as wd from opiate--this is NOT true. IMO these stories are from people who didn't like the use of subs in the first place and weren't ready and/or willing to work all the steps in their lives to supplement the subs.
Congratulations to all of you for making the deciison to start subs and start your new life. Please keep posting--there should be many tomorrow since so many of you are jumping on board! I know that I'm always available, through posts on here or through PM to answer any questions/concerns, and I know that the other sub users are available as well. Good luck and welcome to your new life!!! (just get those suppport systems in place too! :) )
Please please please all of you keep us updated on how things go. Feel free to ask about any questions, concerns, sub dose, sub side effects, anything at all while you are getting started. You will be amazed at the difference. It really is a change that no matter how many times we tell you that you'll feel so much better, it isn't until you experience it for yourself will you see what we've been talking about. Do NOT put a time-limit on your use of the subs...you take them as long as you need to which means you take them until you are at the lowest possible risk for relapse when you taper off of them. ALso, do not stress about withdrawaling from them. If it is done correctly, and if the taper is well-controlled, the wd froms subs can be nill. I wont say there are not any wd effects, but there are some people and posts you will come across who will make it out to sound like it's as bad as wd from opiate--this is NOT true. IMO these stories are from people who didn't like the use of subs in the first place and weren't ready and/or willing to work all the steps in their lives to supplement the subs.
Congratulations to all of you for making the deciison to start subs and start your new life. Please keep posting--there should be many tomorrow since so many of you are jumping on board! I know that I'm always available, through posts on here or through PM to answer any questions/concerns, and I know that the other sub users are available as well. Good luck and welcome to your new life!!! (just get those suppport systems in place too! :) )
The Secret Life of Bees
I saw this movie today and it was so good that I just wanted to encourage you all to see it. It has nothing to do with addiction, just one of those laugh some, cry some type movies. I left the movie feeling really good - my heart was warmed. It has a great cast too.
I read the book a couple of years ago and loved it, the movie is just as good as the book IMO.
By the way I inspire to be a bee keeper once we retire and move from the suburbs - this has been a dream of mine for some time.
I read the book a couple of years ago and loved it, the movie is just as good as the book IMO.
By the way I inspire to be a bee keeper once we retire and move from the suburbs - this has been a dream of mine for some time.
Changing your date…….
Yesterday in a meeting the secretary announced to the group that she had drank last week. She said alcohol was not her drug of choice so she was not changing her sobriety date. She asked the group if they wanted her to step down from her position, it was voted no that she could keep it.
I was just wondering what my SR friends thoughts on this subject are.
IMO she should change her date, our literature states clearly 'alcohol is a drug' but I am not her sponsor LOL.
As for stepping down from her position. Again, my opinion, since she is not changing her date, she should step down and if I was there I would have voted that way. If she had acknowledged the relapse and changed her date, then I would have voted for her to keep her position.
A date is just that a day in a year, but the first thing that came to my mind when I was told about this (and believe me phones were ringing last night LOL) was 'we were incapable of taking personal responsibilty'.
I did explain to the people I talked to last night that it is not our job to take her inventory and that it is between her and her sponsor and her HP. Then I suggested that we pray for her because I believe that dishonesty will take us out, I believe it eats away at our spirit. And IMO there is dishonesty in this situation.
Again, this is all just my opinion....and I am interested in hearing yours.
I was just wondering what my SR friends thoughts on this subject are.
IMO she should change her date, our literature states clearly 'alcohol is a drug' but I am not her sponsor LOL.
As for stepping down from her position. Again, my opinion, since she is not changing her date, she should step down and if I was there I would have voted that way. If she had acknowledged the relapse and changed her date, then I would have voted for her to keep her position.
A date is just that a day in a year, but the first thing that came to my mind when I was told about this (and believe me phones were ringing last night LOL) was 'we were incapable of taking personal responsibilty'.
I did explain to the people I talked to last night that it is not our job to take her inventory and that it is between her and her sponsor and her HP. Then I suggested that we pray for her because I believe that dishonesty will take us out, I believe it eats away at our spirit. And IMO there is dishonesty in this situation.
Again, this is all just my opinion....and I am interested in hearing yours.
Question for everyone!!!
my best friend is really struggling with her alcoholic husband. He is totally toxic to her and there 4 children (11&13 step children and 4 and 4 months his bioligical) IMO,,, he has always treated her older two like crap.
She is a Christian and struggles with separating from him/making him leave. SHe feels its not the chrisitan thing to do to their marriage.. I keep trying to have her focus on her children.. He is not violent,, but mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive.. Spends what little money they have on alcohol, cannot care for the kids physically or emotionally, and rants and raves around the house. The older two are actually afraid of him.
My questions is... if you grew up in an alcoholic family, as a child, and now an adult.. do you have less or more respect for your sober parent staying with the alcoholic.???
Do you wish they would have left and how has it effected your relationship now as adults?
I believe that most people are in favor of leaving.. she says she just cant imagine forsaking God as a chrisitan woman by making him leave.. ?
help...
She is a Christian and struggles with separating from him/making him leave. SHe feels its not the chrisitan thing to do to their marriage.. I keep trying to have her focus on her children.. He is not violent,, but mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive.. Spends what little money they have on alcohol, cannot care for the kids physically or emotionally, and rants and raves around the house. The older two are actually afraid of him.
My questions is... if you grew up in an alcoholic family, as a child, and now an adult.. do you have less or more respect for your sober parent staying with the alcoholic.???
Do you wish they would have left and how has it effected your relationship now as adults?
I believe that most people are in favor of leaving.. she says she just cant imagine forsaking God as a chrisitan woman by making him leave.. ?
help...
Question to EVeryone!!!
my best friend is really struggling with her alcoholic husband. He is totally toxic to her and there 4 children (11&13 step children and 4 and 4 months his bioligical) IMO,,, he has always treated her older two like crap.
She is a Christian and struggles with separating from him/making him leave. SHe feels its not the chrisitan thing to do to their marriage.. I keep trying to have her focus on her children.. He is not violent,, but mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive.. Spends what little money they have on alcohol, cannot care for the kids physically or emotionally, and rants and raves around the house. The older two are actually afraid of him.
My questions is... if you grew up in an alcoholic family, as a child, and now an adult.. do you have less or more respect for your sober parent staying with the alcoholic.???
Do you wish they would have left and how has it effected your relationship now as adults?
I believe that most people are in favor of leaving.. she says she just cant imagine forsaking God as a chrisitan woman by making him leave.. ?
help...
She is a Christian and struggles with separating from him/making him leave. SHe feels its not the chrisitan thing to do to their marriage.. I keep trying to have her focus on her children.. He is not violent,, but mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive.. Spends what little money they have on alcohol, cannot care for the kids physically or emotionally, and rants and raves around the house. The older two are actually afraid of him.
My questions is... if you grew up in an alcoholic family, as a child, and now an adult.. do you have less or more respect for your sober parent staying with the alcoholic.???
Do you wish they would have left and how has it effected your relationship now as adults?
I believe that most people are in favor of leaving.. she says she just cant imagine forsaking God as a chrisitan woman by making him leave.. ?
help...
Sa?
Hello all, I was here a long time ago when my son was going through recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. He is still doing well, substance wise, over 18 months sober at age 21 and working, going to school, living on his own and I am very proud of him. He is very active in his AA/HA/CA community and does step work, meditation and prayer to his HP, has a sponsor and sponsors a few people. He is very open and honest with me, for the most part.
He recently told me he thinks he is a sex addict and is seeking out an SA sponsor and starting those steps.
Here is my dilemna.
Codie me. He has had to cut back his work hours due to the difficult college major he has chosen, and I know he spends a lot of time studying and is trying hard. He wants this career path he has chosen and need financial help from me. I required us to sit down and make out a budget and advised where he could cut corners. Based on that, we agreed upon an amount I would give him each month to allow him to keep up his studies and still pay his bills. He feels (and I agree) that it is better for him to live on his own because his life really changed once he had to do that.
But I am a signer on his checking acct and I see that subscriptions to "adult" sites are being charged to him. His laptop screen recently went out - it has been a problem with this laptop we have repaired more than once. I told him flat out I cannot afford a new laptop for him and gave him the information to call the manufacturer to see if it was still under warranty.
I am seriously struggling here with continuing to give him money since he is still paying for the adult sites..........and IMO the laptop screen going out....I wanted to ask him what site he was looking at when it happenned!?!
I do not want to jeopardize his sobriety by requiring him to work too much and either miss meetings/sponsor/step time or college. But knowing what I know, I don't want to enable him with his SA problem. I also don't want to leave him hanging out to dry. I can afford to help him, but I don't want to keep ignoring these concerns I have and I feel bad calling him out about his SA since he was honest and upfront with me about that.
Anyone been in this situation? Any advice?
And if SA is not an appropriate topic on this board, I apologize and admins/mods please remove.
TIA
CIM
He recently told me he thinks he is a sex addict and is seeking out an SA sponsor and starting those steps.
Here is my dilemna.
Codie me. He has had to cut back his work hours due to the difficult college major he has chosen, and I know he spends a lot of time studying and is trying hard. He wants this career path he has chosen and need financial help from me. I required us to sit down and make out a budget and advised where he could cut corners. Based on that, we agreed upon an amount I would give him each month to allow him to keep up his studies and still pay his bills. He feels (and I agree) that it is better for him to live on his own because his life really changed once he had to do that.
But I am a signer on his checking acct and I see that subscriptions to "adult" sites are being charged to him. His laptop screen recently went out - it has been a problem with this laptop we have repaired more than once. I told him flat out I cannot afford a new laptop for him and gave him the information to call the manufacturer to see if it was still under warranty.
I am seriously struggling here with continuing to give him money since he is still paying for the adult sites..........and IMO the laptop screen going out....I wanted to ask him what site he was looking at when it happenned!?!
I do not want to jeopardize his sobriety by requiring him to work too much and either miss meetings/sponsor/step time or college. But knowing what I know, I don't want to enable him with his SA problem. I also don't want to leave him hanging out to dry. I can afford to help him, but I don't want to keep ignoring these concerns I have and I feel bad calling him out about his SA since he was honest and upfront with me about that.
Anyone been in this situation? Any advice?
And if SA is not an appropriate topic on this board, I apologize and admins/mods please remove.
TIA
CIM
My Diary of giving up…
I don't know if this'll help or hinder anyone, but I'm going to write a diary of how my detox goes.
I've spoken to my doctor (first step in any Detox IMO)
Now comes the hard part.
I'm on day 1, last drink about an hour ago.
Hopefully this will let people know that it can be done and not to be scared of giving up.
Next post tomorrow, take care all.
I've spoken to my doctor (first step in any Detox IMO)
Now comes the hard part.
I'm on day 1, last drink about an hour ago.
Hopefully this will let people know that it can be done and not to be scared of giving up.
Next post tomorrow, take care all.
Work Issues - a bit long!
Hello everyone,
I'm feeling, for the lack of a better word to describe my emotions - a bit nervous today.
One of my bosses (two grades above me) has an obvious drink and drug problem. I've had my suspicions about this for months. He goes out drinking at lunch everday, for hours when his boss is not in the office. He often has red eyes, and slurs his words. He talks complete rubbish. He is full of his own importance and condescending. IMO he is an A. Over the last few weeks, other members of the team have also voiced their concern that this may be the case.
His memory lapses, confusion, lack of organisation etc have been making alot of work for the rest of the team. He will tell customers one thing, then do another, completely forget to keep people informed, and regularly get processes completely wrong. Due to the nature of the work we do, others have had to jump in to solve problems. He is the master at ''delegating'' his work to everyone else, so he is doing less and less, but he always looks busy.
I've kept my distance from it all. It is not my position to help him or speak to him about his work issues. I cannot help with his addiction, I am not his line manager. I try not to pick up his jobs for him.
However today I took a stand on how he has been addressing me. I have felt on occasion he ridicules me and is very condescending. I have already approached him about this before, but he is still doing it. I took the next step and approached his LM.
Now I am nervous. The LM has approached me and asked if I am ok with him using my written document when he talks to this guy. I don't want this to turn into a big fuss. This LM said that this guy had obviously touched a nerve. What the flip does that mean?! I am not overly upset where I go home crying each night. It just pees me off and is starting to get bloody annoying.
The LM talked to me like I was overreacting. I just feel that this guy needs to be more respectful of me and to stop making a mockery of me.
This guy makes me feel like my abf did. I want to ensure that I don't get walked over by him, but I don't want to become a moaning myrtle either. I don't think I have been moaning, its just this LM's comments have stuck in me and are making me wonder am I over rating this? He is going to talk to him tomorrow about it. Urgh, I just don't want any confrontations, I don't deal with them well at all.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm feeling, for the lack of a better word to describe my emotions - a bit nervous today.
One of my bosses (two grades above me) has an obvious drink and drug problem. I've had my suspicions about this for months. He goes out drinking at lunch everday, for hours when his boss is not in the office. He often has red eyes, and slurs his words. He talks complete rubbish. He is full of his own importance and condescending. IMO he is an A. Over the last few weeks, other members of the team have also voiced their concern that this may be the case.
His memory lapses, confusion, lack of organisation etc have been making alot of work for the rest of the team. He will tell customers one thing, then do another, completely forget to keep people informed, and regularly get processes completely wrong. Due to the nature of the work we do, others have had to jump in to solve problems. He is the master at ''delegating'' his work to everyone else, so he is doing less and less, but he always looks busy.
I've kept my distance from it all. It is not my position to help him or speak to him about his work issues. I cannot help with his addiction, I am not his line manager. I try not to pick up his jobs for him.
However today I took a stand on how he has been addressing me. I have felt on occasion he ridicules me and is very condescending. I have already approached him about this before, but he is still doing it. I took the next step and approached his LM.
Now I am nervous. The LM has approached me and asked if I am ok with him using my written document when he talks to this guy. I don't want this to turn into a big fuss. This LM said that this guy had obviously touched a nerve. What the flip does that mean?! I am not overly upset where I go home crying each night. It just pees me off and is starting to get bloody annoying.
The LM talked to me like I was overreacting. I just feel that this guy needs to be more respectful of me and to stop making a mockery of me.
This guy makes me feel like my abf did. I want to ensure that I don't get walked over by him, but I don't want to become a moaning myrtle either. I don't think I have been moaning, its just this LM's comments have stuck in me and are making me wonder am I over rating this? He is going to talk to him tomorrow about it. Urgh, I just don't want any confrontations, I don't deal with them well at all.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Judgements…..
My H and I have been talking alot about judgements lately and I have to be honest (at the risk of not being liked LOL) I read alot of them here on this forum too.
I read alot of posts where one person is saying that they don't think another person is ready to 'get it' or that someone does not think that someone else 'wants it' enough.
Don't get me wrong I am not perfect, I find myself doing the same thing sometimes. But it has to make me wonder who do we (I) think we (I) am to even begin to know how much someone gets or wants recovery.
On another thread some things were mentioned about people with court papers. I said on that thread and I will say here I have been blessed to be around long enough to see several people come in with court papers, not wanting to be in the rooms and end up staying when they no longer had a paper and are clean today.
So I ask this not just of myself but also of you guys, lets try and put down our judgements and remember that first no one not even our HP should judge anyone else. And second, the theraputic value of one addict helping another.........that is what it is all about. Let's just open our hearts and share what has so freely been shared with us.
I direct this post towards no specific person. It is just something that has been bothering me lately when I read posts........so lets (me included) stop thinking we know when someone else is ready 'to get it' and just be there to help if/when they are. None of us know when we look across the room in a meeting what someone else is thinking/feeling. IMO it is wrong to assume that we do.
As long as we remain teachable.......there is hope :)
I hope no one gets uptight from this post, just wanted to share what I have been feeling. Please, dont take any of this personal, just maybe look inside yourself like I did.
I read alot of posts where one person is saying that they don't think another person is ready to 'get it' or that someone does not think that someone else 'wants it' enough.
Don't get me wrong I am not perfect, I find myself doing the same thing sometimes. But it has to make me wonder who do we (I) think we (I) am to even begin to know how much someone gets or wants recovery.
On another thread some things were mentioned about people with court papers. I said on that thread and I will say here I have been blessed to be around long enough to see several people come in with court papers, not wanting to be in the rooms and end up staying when they no longer had a paper and are clean today.
So I ask this not just of myself but also of you guys, lets try and put down our judgements and remember that first no one not even our HP should judge anyone else. And second, the theraputic value of one addict helping another.........that is what it is all about. Let's just open our hearts and share what has so freely been shared with us.
I direct this post towards no specific person. It is just something that has been bothering me lately when I read posts........so lets (me included) stop thinking we know when someone else is ready 'to get it' and just be there to help if/when they are. None of us know when we look across the room in a meeting what someone else is thinking/feeling. IMO it is wrong to assume that we do.
As long as we remain teachable.......there is hope :)
I hope no one gets uptight from this post, just wanted to share what I have been feeling. Please, dont take any of this personal, just maybe look inside yourself like I did.
