Archive for the ‘Imperfections’ tag
Seize the moment ~ OT
For those of us that are dealing with bitter winter weather. Here's a fun thing to try. I have ice candles all over the deck. (It's the ONLY bright spot I can hang onto, in this weather)
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Finnish ice candles
?Fill buckets with water and place outside overnight away from the house for maximum exposure.
?Bring buckets into the house when frozen. (The top and sides will freeze first, but you want some water sloshing around under the ice in the very center of the bucket.)
?Gently tip the bucket over a large sink. After a few minutes the candle will loosen from the sides, and you can ease it out. You can also run a little warm water over the bottom of the bucket to loosen the ice.
?The bottom ice will be soft. Use a knife to chip it away and form an opening. Carefully tip candle over, pouring the water from the opening. This is where the votive or tea light will go.
?Return the candle to the outdoors - front steps, along a walkway, or the back patio. Place a votive or tea light in the center and light.
For fun you can add food coloring, leaves, feathers or other materials to the water before freezing. Or try experimenting with freezing water at different temperatures to form bubbles in the ice.
"You have to find some way to be joyful when it's miserable outside. "Making ice candles turns the bitter cold on its head." Ice candles are all about seizing the moment.
The faster the water freezes, the clearer the ice. But some like the way that bubbles and other imperfections formed at varying temperatures can refract the candle's flame.
Use beet juice as an environmentally friendly way to color the ice. Other experiments involve different containers ? even soup cans ? though 5-gallon buckets work best.
"It's simple, but like anything else there are fine points. For example, hot water actually will freeze more quickly than cold.
"You have to have lasting cold, but the candles will last for several days, even at above-freezing temperatures, once they are made. "They don't disappear right away."
And when they do? "They leave no trace," she says. "There's no storage, no cleanup, no expense, just water and winter working together."
--------------------------
Finnish ice candles
?Fill buckets with water and place outside overnight away from the house for maximum exposure.
?Bring buckets into the house when frozen. (The top and sides will freeze first, but you want some water sloshing around under the ice in the very center of the bucket.)
?Gently tip the bucket over a large sink. After a few minutes the candle will loosen from the sides, and you can ease it out. You can also run a little warm water over the bottom of the bucket to loosen the ice.
?The bottom ice will be soft. Use a knife to chip it away and form an opening. Carefully tip candle over, pouring the water from the opening. This is where the votive or tea light will go.
?Return the candle to the outdoors - front steps, along a walkway, or the back patio. Place a votive or tea light in the center and light.
For fun you can add food coloring, leaves, feathers or other materials to the water before freezing. Or try experimenting with freezing water at different temperatures to form bubbles in the ice.
"You have to find some way to be joyful when it's miserable outside. "Making ice candles turns the bitter cold on its head." Ice candles are all about seizing the moment.
The faster the water freezes, the clearer the ice. But some like the way that bubbles and other imperfections formed at varying temperatures can refract the candle's flame.
Use beet juice as an environmentally friendly way to color the ice. Other experiments involve different containers ? even soup cans ? though 5-gallon buckets work best.
"It's simple, but like anything else there are fine points. For example, hot water actually will freeze more quickly than cold.
"You have to have lasting cold, but the candles will last for several days, even at above-freezing temperatures, once they are made. "They don't disappear right away."
And when they do? "They leave no trace," she says. "There's no storage, no cleanup, no expense, just water and winter working together."
Ruined
Hard day today - my soul feels heavy.
I feel like I am physically weighed down by the enormity of the task in front of me.
I have years of thought patterns that need to evolve, years of behaviors that aren't in my best interest. I'm trying to address them, but it can be so frustrating when I find myself stuck in the middle of those old, unhelpful patterns! They just ooze out of me when I'm not paying attention.
I know it is progress, not perfection.
But, darn it.
Those imperfections sure rub me the wrong way.
I once heard that rehab ruins an alcoholic's joy in drinking. They leave treatment knowing that, as an alcoholic, drinking is an unhealthy and destructive behavior. That knowledge mars the joy of alcohol.
I think that recovery is truly ruining codependency for me. I recognize my own unhealthy behaviors and that knowledge mars the joy of the drama. All I've got right now is exhaustion and disappointment and resolve to do better next time.
Thanks for listening.
-TC
I feel like I am physically weighed down by the enormity of the task in front of me.
I have years of thought patterns that need to evolve, years of behaviors that aren't in my best interest. I'm trying to address them, but it can be so frustrating when I find myself stuck in the middle of those old, unhelpful patterns! They just ooze out of me when I'm not paying attention.
I know it is progress, not perfection.
But, darn it.
Those imperfections sure rub me the wrong way.
I once heard that rehab ruins an alcoholic's joy in drinking. They leave treatment knowing that, as an alcoholic, drinking is an unhealthy and destructive behavior. That knowledge mars the joy of alcohol.
I think that recovery is truly ruining codependency for me. I recognize my own unhealthy behaviors and that knowledge mars the joy of the drama. All I've got right now is exhaustion and disappointment and resolve to do better next time.
Thanks for listening.
-TC
Screw loose?
Hi everyone...
I wonder if I have a screw loose? I am currently visiting my sister in North Carolina with her new born baby and her husband.
I have not been to an Al Anon meeting in two weeks, since I have been up here. The moment I moved myself out of my Al Anon environment, I am sliding back into this crappy thinking. I have not touched my Al Anon material. I am having the HP crisis. I am plagued with anxiety about things I am powerless over. By all rights, I should be quite happy right now. I successfully defended my thesis. I am graduating in a few weeks. Applying to PHD programs. Visiting my sister and her new family.
I am wondering if it stems from the environment here. Despite the fact that my sister appears very happy, her husband is in the earlier stages of alcoholism. He "controls" his drinking, but the thinking is all the same. Attempting to isolate her from her family..."jokes" around about her imperfections or concerns as a new mother....must have things his own way, and manipulates to get it. I have not, nor will I, approach my sister about this. I know she is not ready to see this, and it would cause strife between us.
Still, I feel like I am falling fast into my old routine. Found myself just a moment ago, checking Don's phone records again...something I haven't done in a long time, then reverse searching where the numbers originate from. All are Food pantries, and I suddenly feel horribly guilty. I just have that crappy feeling...
I just needed to vent and get some support. I am actually forcing myself to post now since I seem to know that when I don't want to work the program is when I need it the most.
I wonder if I have a screw loose? I am currently visiting my sister in North Carolina with her new born baby and her husband.
I have not been to an Al Anon meeting in two weeks, since I have been up here. The moment I moved myself out of my Al Anon environment, I am sliding back into this crappy thinking. I have not touched my Al Anon material. I am having the HP crisis. I am plagued with anxiety about things I am powerless over. By all rights, I should be quite happy right now. I successfully defended my thesis. I am graduating in a few weeks. Applying to PHD programs. Visiting my sister and her new family.
I am wondering if it stems from the environment here. Despite the fact that my sister appears very happy, her husband is in the earlier stages of alcoholism. He "controls" his drinking, but the thinking is all the same. Attempting to isolate her from her family..."jokes" around about her imperfections or concerns as a new mother....must have things his own way, and manipulates to get it. I have not, nor will I, approach my sister about this. I know she is not ready to see this, and it would cause strife between us.
Still, I feel like I am falling fast into my old routine. Found myself just a moment ago, checking Don's phone records again...something I haven't done in a long time, then reverse searching where the numbers originate from. All are Food pantries, and I suddenly feel horribly guilty. I just have that crappy feeling...
I just needed to vent and get some support. I am actually forcing myself to post now since I seem to know that when I don't want to work the program is when I need it the most.
Language of Letting Go -October 25 - Letting Go of the Past
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Letting Go of the Past
... in thy book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there was none of them.
--Ps. 139:16
Some people believe that each of our days were planned, Divinely Ordered, before we were born. God knew, they say, and planned exactly what was to transpire.
Others suggest we chose, we participated in planning our life - the events, the people, the circumstances that were to take place, in order to work through our issues and learn the lessons we needed to master.
Whatever our philosophy, our interpretation can be similar: Our past is neither an accident nor a mistake. We have been where we needed to be, with the necessary people. We can embrace our history, with its pain, its imperfections, and its mistakes, even its tragedies. It is uniquely ours; it was intended just for us.
Today, we are right where we need to be. Our present circumstances are exactly as they need to be - for now.
Today, I will let go of my guilt and fear about my past and present circumstances. I will trust that where I have been and where I am now are right for me.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Letting Go of the Past
... in thy book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there was none of them.
--Ps. 139:16
Some people believe that each of our days were planned, Divinely Ordered, before we were born. God knew, they say, and planned exactly what was to transpire.
Others suggest we chose, we participated in planning our life - the events, the people, the circumstances that were to take place, in order to work through our issues and learn the lessons we needed to master.
Whatever our philosophy, our interpretation can be similar: Our past is neither an accident nor a mistake. We have been where we needed to be, with the necessary people. We can embrace our history, with its pain, its imperfections, and its mistakes, even its tragedies. It is uniquely ours; it was intended just for us.
Today, we are right where we need to be. Our present circumstances are exactly as they need to be - for now.
Today, I will let go of my guilt and fear about my past and present circumstances. I will trust that where I have been and where I am now are right for me.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Language of Letting Go - Sept. 20 - Spontaneity
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Spontaneity
In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are - in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Spontaneity
In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are - in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
