Archive for the ‘Joke’ tag
spinoff from step 13 thread-suggestions?
ok
tommy here,alcoholic
this spinoff came from Steves 13th stepping thread,
after reading what a few of you all said about certain things there,I felt I really needed to post this.This is serious,not a joke.Really.
well,Ladies,I do have a confession to make.First off,it is my problem,not yours.I`m not blaming you at all.
There has been many times I talked to a womans chest.They had plenty of cleavage showing and for some reason my eyes locked onto it,and then I could not seem to look higher..Now I`m sure some ladies would have felt like crap when I did that.We have a nice lady in my home group.She is very pretty and dresses very well,but sometimes she used to have plenty of cleavage showing.When we talked,I had to force myself to stare directly into her eyes,looking at nothing lower.I felt like it took everything I could muster to do it.
I have felt mighty uncomfortable at times talking to ladies showing a lot of cleavage,but it is not your fault,I have a problem I realize.I love it to tell the truth.
Don`t get me wrong,I behave myself and do not say or do anything else out of the way.
But when it makes me uncomfortable,it has probably made you uncomfortable and it`s time to consider something....so,if someone here has a suggestion,I will definitely try it.Something just comes over me and poof,eyes locked,brain goes blank or haywire.DUH
maybe a mens meeting is in order
tommy here,alcoholic
this spinoff came from Steves 13th stepping thread,
after reading what a few of you all said about certain things there,I felt I really needed to post this.This is serious,not a joke.Really.
well,Ladies,I do have a confession to make.First off,it is my problem,not yours.I`m not blaming you at all.
There has been many times I talked to a womans chest.They had plenty of cleavage showing and for some reason my eyes locked onto it,and then I could not seem to look higher..Now I`m sure some ladies would have felt like crap when I did that.We have a nice lady in my home group.She is very pretty and dresses very well,but sometimes she used to have plenty of cleavage showing.When we talked,I had to force myself to stare directly into her eyes,looking at nothing lower.I felt like it took everything I could muster to do it.
I have felt mighty uncomfortable at times talking to ladies showing a lot of cleavage,but it is not your fault,I have a problem I realize.I love it to tell the truth.
Don`t get me wrong,I behave myself and do not say or do anything else out of the way.
But when it makes me uncomfortable,it has probably made you uncomfortable and it`s time to consider something....so,if someone here has a suggestion,I will definitely try it.Something just comes over me and poof,eyes locked,brain goes blank or haywire.DUH
maybe a mens meeting is in order
He’s withdrawing from me…
I guess he feels the need to withdraw from me.
He can probably feel somethings up, but quite frankly I don't care. He continues to drink despite me saying something and I genuinely tried to be nice in doing so, more of a concerned tone.
Apparantly he doesn't think there was much to my thoughts because if nothing else he's upped his drinking. To me it just shows that he really does't care about me or my thoughts or feelings.
I feel like something needs to be said, but at the same time I know I'm not going to because it simply blows up in my face.
We've split up and I said I'm giving you time to figure things out, not like he ever did. When he's ready and done waiting he says come back or it's over, I'm not waiting forever.
Through our time together I've been bullied long enough that I've just lost feelings for him the way a wife should love a husband. At times I've wanted him to hurt as much as I did.
I managed to emotionally isolated and numb myself that I thought I would never feel anything again, much to my surprise I can still feel. When my dear resident passed last month I cried for several days, when my co-workers joke around at work...I get it and L-A-U-G-H!!!!! He's told me for so long I have no sense of humor and am way to serious, I believed it until I realized otherwise. Me laughing and feeling was a WOW moment.
I think I don't really mind him withdrawing from me. He does his thing, he doesn't ask me along anymore much. We live seperate lives in pretty much every aspect. He's so much as said that if he can't get physically intimate with me at home that he'd get it somewhere else. A man has to have "it' unlike a woman?!?! His sister-in-laws husband moved out to another state for a woman he met online. AH's response, he probably wasn't getting any at home and he had to get it somewhere.
I don't think we'd make even if he never drank another drop. There's so many injustices that have happened that I don't think we could ever make it past them. There's always going to be some sort of barrier between us.
We were done long ago, but neither of us wanted to make it an official, permanent thing. I for some reason needed him and he needed me...probably just to make sure he got out of bed for work. Now, I don't need him so much and he knows it. My going to school scares him to death because once finished I can take care of me and the kids myself quite easily.
So I say let him back away from me, he can do what he needs to do because obviously I was never his first love, his true love and whatever BS he's fed me. I've always been in 2nd place.
He can probably feel somethings up, but quite frankly I don't care. He continues to drink despite me saying something and I genuinely tried to be nice in doing so, more of a concerned tone.
Apparantly he doesn't think there was much to my thoughts because if nothing else he's upped his drinking. To me it just shows that he really does't care about me or my thoughts or feelings.
I feel like something needs to be said, but at the same time I know I'm not going to because it simply blows up in my face.
We've split up and I said I'm giving you time to figure things out, not like he ever did. When he's ready and done waiting he says come back or it's over, I'm not waiting forever.
Through our time together I've been bullied long enough that I've just lost feelings for him the way a wife should love a husband. At times I've wanted him to hurt as much as I did.
I managed to emotionally isolated and numb myself that I thought I would never feel anything again, much to my surprise I can still feel. When my dear resident passed last month I cried for several days, when my co-workers joke around at work...I get it and L-A-U-G-H!!!!! He's told me for so long I have no sense of humor and am way to serious, I believed it until I realized otherwise. Me laughing and feeling was a WOW moment.
I think I don't really mind him withdrawing from me. He does his thing, he doesn't ask me along anymore much. We live seperate lives in pretty much every aspect. He's so much as said that if he can't get physically intimate with me at home that he'd get it somewhere else. A man has to have "it' unlike a woman?!?! His sister-in-laws husband moved out to another state for a woman he met online. AH's response, he probably wasn't getting any at home and he had to get it somewhere.
I don't think we'd make even if he never drank another drop. There's so many injustices that have happened that I don't think we could ever make it past them. There's always going to be some sort of barrier between us.
We were done long ago, but neither of us wanted to make it an official, permanent thing. I for some reason needed him and he needed me...probably just to make sure he got out of bed for work. Now, I don't need him so much and he knows it. My going to school scares him to death because once finished I can take care of me and the kids myself quite easily.
So I say let him back away from me, he can do what he needs to do because obviously I was never his first love, his true love and whatever BS he's fed me. I've always been in 2nd place.
Anyone Afraid of Abuse Without Any Abuse Going ON?
Ok, I know this is a strange question. I'm talking physical abuse. He's never hit me at all. There has been plenty of other abuse; I live with an alcoholic. Lately I've been standing up for myself, just a little. You can tell he's bitter. Very bitter. So much so that I've backed off a bit. He talks a lot about hurting me, as a joke.
I plan on leaving, he doesn't know. When I get a place I don't intend on telling him where I'm going. Just leaving on one of his "nights out"; he has them regularly. Over the past few weeks I've had a few friends who have told me not to tell him where I'm going because "something seems off" with him.
He's been blaming my daughter for the breakdown of our marriage (last year he blamed the cat) and I'm worried about her so I have been thinking if I don't find a place in the next week or so, she needs to get out of here. He's been progressively mean with her.
It's strange. He's done nothing, yet he's giving everyone this "vibe". I'm choosing not to ignore it, just in case. Is it just me? Or does anyone else feel that their alcoholic if pushed could become violent or even deadly? I would think it was just me if others (who I said nothing to) didn't bring up some of the same stuff. Should I be scared or just careful?
I plan on leaving, he doesn't know. When I get a place I don't intend on telling him where I'm going. Just leaving on one of his "nights out"; he has them regularly. Over the past few weeks I've had a few friends who have told me not to tell him where I'm going because "something seems off" with him.
He's been blaming my daughter for the breakdown of our marriage (last year he blamed the cat) and I'm worried about her so I have been thinking if I don't find a place in the next week or so, she needs to get out of here. He's been progressively mean with her.
It's strange. He's done nothing, yet he's giving everyone this "vibe". I'm choosing not to ignore it, just in case. Is it just me? Or does anyone else feel that their alcoholic if pushed could become violent or even deadly? I would think it was just me if others (who I said nothing to) didn't bring up some of the same stuff. Should I be scared or just careful?
Bizarre phone call
So my son has been in the county jail for 6 weeks, and he has 2 weeks to go. I have been learning the reality of taking it one day, one hour at a time. Son has been going to classes and work, so he has been out quite a bit, and I've gotten to see him briefly a couple of times a week. He does seem to be doing okay, counting the weeks, and for the most part staying positive.
Then tonight i get a phone call from someone who says he is from a nearby county jail. I noticed before I answered that the phone id said "private caller" which usually means someone is blocking their number for you to see. He asked me if I knew where my son was. I said he was in jail. He said that they had a warrant for him. I asked what for. He said armed robbery. I asked when this robbery was committed and then he hung up on me.
It sounded like a man,not a boy playing a joke. It scared me so bad. I called my ex and he called his brother who is a cop. He checked the computer and there are no warrants for my sons arrest. Which means that someone did this for the heck of it, I suppose? Why would someone do this? Could it be something that hadn't made it into the computer?
If someone is joking, it makes me feel ill that people could be that cruel. I can't imagine any of his friends even thinking of me or hating me enough to do this.
Anybody out there have any thoughts on this? The call took place at 7:00 on a Saturday night. The guy also told me to have my call him when he got out of jail. That seems a little bizarre. Thanks for any input you all might have about this.
krhea
Then tonight i get a phone call from someone who says he is from a nearby county jail. I noticed before I answered that the phone id said "private caller" which usually means someone is blocking their number for you to see. He asked me if I knew where my son was. I said he was in jail. He said that they had a warrant for him. I asked what for. He said armed robbery. I asked when this robbery was committed and then he hung up on me.
It sounded like a man,not a boy playing a joke. It scared me so bad. I called my ex and he called his brother who is a cop. He checked the computer and there are no warrants for my sons arrest. Which means that someone did this for the heck of it, I suppose? Why would someone do this? Could it be something that hadn't made it into the computer?
If someone is joking, it makes me feel ill that people could be that cruel. I can't imagine any of his friends even thinking of me or hating me enough to do this.
Anybody out there have any thoughts on this? The call took place at 7:00 on a Saturday night. The guy also told me to have my call him when he got out of jail. That seems a little bizarre. Thanks for any input you all might have about this.
krhea
he called again
my husband called tonight, i wasnt going to answer but his mom has been so worried cause she hasnt heard from him so i answered, hes at a rehab, i havent heard from him in the last two weeks, he said he has to be there 6 months, i tell him theres no point in you calling me im filing for divorce, hes like we have a son (dont know if he means we need to be together because of that or we just need to have contact because of that) he said he was calling to see how me and ben were doing, that he was trying to get his life together, i said whats that got to do with me, he just said dont argue with me i took the time out to call you (like hes doing me some big favor by calling me) im like you dont expect me to wait 6 months on you, hes like i have to be in here that long, totally missing my point, im like why didnt you call your girlfriend, he says he doesnt have one, i remind him of the last time i seen him and he says he didnt sleep with her, i dont know and i dont want to know, i told him about being in the hospital and problems with my gallbladder he just made a joke about it saying he would take it out for me, not even concerned at all, he thinks everything is a joke, im sittin in a world of hurt and everything is fine and dandy with him and he acts like he cant figure out why i wouldnt want to talk to him ,he wants me to bring the baby up there when he can have visitation in 3-4 weeks, like im suppose to just do that for him like he hasnt treated me like sh*t, hes finally like ill call you back tomorrow take care of my boy, im like what do you think ive been doing the past month, then hes like do i sound better, im just like yeah sure
why cant he just leave me alone, i dont want to deal with this, i dont know if he wants me or not and i dont want to find out i just want to be left alone, theres no guarentee that he will stay sober, i feel like hes still trying to string me along cause i bet hes in contact with that girl and she will be coming up there when he can have visitation, im not dealing with none of that crap anymore i dont trust him or believe anything he says, if he calls back tomorrow i have to get the name of the rehab for his mom and then im going to tell him to just leave me alone, when he gets out he can take me to court and get visitation but until then i want nothing to do with him, im trying to move on and i cant do that with contact
my mom wants me to keep contact and go to family sessions if they have them at that rehab, but she dont want me to take him back, she says i can help make him a better person if i can get him to realize everything hes done, i said i cant do that, ill end up back with him or hurt even more if hes sober and still doesnt want me or i have to deal with seeing the OW, my mom is out of her mind thinking i should do that, why would i want to help him be a better person for some other woman, makes no sense
i should have known he was gonna call today, ive felt off all day, ive been doing so good so i couldnt figure out why i was down, i guess i can feel when hes thinking about me or something, he also made a joke that he hadnt talked to me in a month, i just said nothing, then hes like no its only been two weeks right, i just said i dont know i didnt keep up, so him being sober aint changed nothing he still thinks he's mister innocent
when is this all going to end im so tired of dealing with it, and i know that little seed of hope is trying to plant in my head and im fightin it cause i dont want it, i want to change my number but i have so much tied in with it that it would be so much of a headache to do that
i just want him to leave me alone, i dont have the energy for him and i cant get past my resentments of him or forget what hes done to even be friends with him for the sake of our son, hes just going to have to take me to court for visitations im not taking him to see him, its not my place to have to do that, i just cant forgive him this time or be in his life i just cant do it anymore
how can you love someone so much and hate then so much at the same time
why cant he just leave me alone, i dont want to deal with this, i dont know if he wants me or not and i dont want to find out i just want to be left alone, theres no guarentee that he will stay sober, i feel like hes still trying to string me along cause i bet hes in contact with that girl and she will be coming up there when he can have visitation, im not dealing with none of that crap anymore i dont trust him or believe anything he says, if he calls back tomorrow i have to get the name of the rehab for his mom and then im going to tell him to just leave me alone, when he gets out he can take me to court and get visitation but until then i want nothing to do with him, im trying to move on and i cant do that with contact
my mom wants me to keep contact and go to family sessions if they have them at that rehab, but she dont want me to take him back, she says i can help make him a better person if i can get him to realize everything hes done, i said i cant do that, ill end up back with him or hurt even more if hes sober and still doesnt want me or i have to deal with seeing the OW, my mom is out of her mind thinking i should do that, why would i want to help him be a better person for some other woman, makes no sense
i should have known he was gonna call today, ive felt off all day, ive been doing so good so i couldnt figure out why i was down, i guess i can feel when hes thinking about me or something, he also made a joke that he hadnt talked to me in a month, i just said nothing, then hes like no its only been two weeks right, i just said i dont know i didnt keep up, so him being sober aint changed nothing he still thinks he's mister innocent
when is this all going to end im so tired of dealing with it, and i know that little seed of hope is trying to plant in my head and im fightin it cause i dont want it, i want to change my number but i have so much tied in with it that it would be so much of a headache to do that
i just want him to leave me alone, i dont have the energy for him and i cant get past my resentments of him or forget what hes done to even be friends with him for the sake of our son, hes just going to have to take me to court for visitations im not taking him to see him, its not my place to have to do that, i just cant forgive him this time or be in his life i just cant do it anymore
how can you love someone so much and hate then so much at the same time
This needs to stop one way or another
I have been in serious denial. This relationship has not been giving me anything and the positive things are things that I used to take for granted with this guy (and should be able to take for granted). I am chasing after something that I used to have, but that's not there anymore: attention, affection, care, etc. I feel like I am going through life alone, without a partner, and to feel lonely in a relationship is horrible (been there before way too long with someone else). I mean, come on, I start to cry when I hear from friends how they travel together, have anniversary dinners, or even just hang out and talk or watch a movie. What a freaking joke.
I am also angry because he called the other day that he would stop by to get his computer. He came over with a friend, sat down at his computer, and checked email. I made conversation with his friend although I had loads of work to do. When I asked ABF what he was doing (heck, I have every right to ask when he is doing it under MY roof with MY internet connection), he got irritated. WTF? He was about to blow up (was already lifting the keyboard to throw it on the couch) and to tell me to shut up. I told him that I will ask him whatever the hell I please and that he won't tell me to shut up in my own home. All this in the presence of his friend (poor guy). When he was done (after an HOUR), they left. I was very short with him (I was LIVID - I just kept breathing and telling myself to stay calm). He then turned back and said we should have dinner Sunday night and was oh so sweet. I am not holding my breath.
He called today, but I was in no mood to talk to him. I am still angry. I feel so disrespected and used! He ONLY calls anymore when he needs something (and now he needs to do some smoothing over, ha!). He thinks it's ok to snap at me, which used to be a MORTAL SIN to him! I love the guy, but he can take that freaking addiction thing elsewhere. I don't even care about his issues - I have been Mother Teresa often enough in my life, but I will not hang around with someone who snaps at me because that might just be the beginning and toxic environments make me ill.
I will leave town in a week to go home for Christmas and I won't return to this in January. Either he goes into therapy and treatment and works on respecting me again, or I am done. I am not taking this lunacy into the new year. No wonder I can't sleep! I have been having the worst insomnia! There is just too much frustration and anger and CONSTANT disappointment. I should perhaps just print this out and put it on his freaking desk at work! There! :c004:
And I needed to write this down so I can read it again when little Miss Codie says a peep to shut her up!
I am also angry because he called the other day that he would stop by to get his computer. He came over with a friend, sat down at his computer, and checked email. I made conversation with his friend although I had loads of work to do. When I asked ABF what he was doing (heck, I have every right to ask when he is doing it under MY roof with MY internet connection), he got irritated. WTF? He was about to blow up (was already lifting the keyboard to throw it on the couch) and to tell me to shut up. I told him that I will ask him whatever the hell I please and that he won't tell me to shut up in my own home. All this in the presence of his friend (poor guy). When he was done (after an HOUR), they left. I was very short with him (I was LIVID - I just kept breathing and telling myself to stay calm). He then turned back and said we should have dinner Sunday night and was oh so sweet. I am not holding my breath.
He called today, but I was in no mood to talk to him. I am still angry. I feel so disrespected and used! He ONLY calls anymore when he needs something (and now he needs to do some smoothing over, ha!). He thinks it's ok to snap at me, which used to be a MORTAL SIN to him! I love the guy, but he can take that freaking addiction thing elsewhere. I don't even care about his issues - I have been Mother Teresa often enough in my life, but I will not hang around with someone who snaps at me because that might just be the beginning and toxic environments make me ill.
I will leave town in a week to go home for Christmas and I won't return to this in January. Either he goes into therapy and treatment and works on respecting me again, or I am done. I am not taking this lunacy into the new year. No wonder I can't sleep! I have been having the worst insomnia! There is just too much frustration and anger and CONSTANT disappointment. I should perhaps just print this out and put it on his freaking desk at work! There! :c004:
And I needed to write this down so I can read it again when little Miss Codie says a peep to shut her up!
Smiles
Today my RAD turned 23. It has been a long journey. Addict behavoir still sneaks up on her, but she will usually catch it & have some kind of a joke to say. She worked from 4 till 9:30ish wed night waitressing, then went to the halfway house & did 11pm-7am. I didn't realize she would be the only staff member there for the night. gulp. But everything was fine. She slept for a few hours then came here for Thanksgiving dinner, went to her boyfriend (ex fiance) house. She went shopping at 4:30 am with a friend & her boyfriend, then went to work waitressing for the day shift, then worked in the kitchen for the night shift. She is happy as all get out cuz she got a WII on their shopping outing. She will prob crash & burn tomorrow. But it is so nice to see that she has life & friends beyond addiction. Anything is possable. Hang on, your addict children just might surprise you.
What Have You Gained
When I first started posting here on SR a lot the content was over what I had lost due to my AH. I'm been working hard on MY recovery and thought I would take the time to post about what I have GAINED.
Even thought it's not Thanksgiving here in Canada, I find that I keep that holiday spirit within me each day now.
Some of the things/changes I have gained:
Peace
Tranquility
Supportive and like minded friends
Wonderful recovery group and of course SR
A new home - albeit rented but it's MINE and it's in the country
A happier dog - consistency in his life too
Better finances, still paying of the previous debt but I'm paying it off
Started my own spiritual journey to discover my HP
Yoga
Meditation
Time to read
Healthier body - 250 pounds gone - ok a bit of a joke here, 30 of those pounds were mine the balance was the AH
Positive energy
Meeting new friends
Trying new things
Snowshoeing
Cooking
Clean House - just my stuff exactly where I left it
No surprises when I come home
And most importantly I've been finding out who I am, who I was, how I got here and where I'm going.
Thanks everyone - Namasté - K.
Even thought it's not Thanksgiving here in Canada, I find that I keep that holiday spirit within me each day now.
Some of the things/changes I have gained:
Peace
Tranquility
Supportive and like minded friends
Wonderful recovery group and of course SR
A new home - albeit rented but it's MINE and it's in the country
A happier dog - consistency in his life too
Better finances, still paying of the previous debt but I'm paying it off
Started my own spiritual journey to discover my HP
Yoga
Meditation
Time to read
Healthier body - 250 pounds gone - ok a bit of a joke here, 30 of those pounds were mine the balance was the AH
Positive energy
Meeting new friends
Trying new things
Snowshoeing
Cooking
Clean House - just my stuff exactly where I left it
No surprises when I come home
And most importantly I've been finding out who I am, who I was, how I got here and where I'm going.
Thanks everyone - Namasté - K.
i myself had a blackout
i was shocked to learn that i took my shirt off, while wearing no bra, in front of two men i barely know! for no good reason! i thought i had just flashed them a little bit as a joke but i asked them to tell me the truth the next day because i had to know if i really blacked out for a few minutes and apparently i did. this is so out of character for me. i am not a show off and not that pround of my breasts....
so apparently i blacked out when fighting with my boyfriend because he accused me of hitting him in the head with a plate and sure enough he has a lump on his head because the police officer told me she saw it and it is written in the paperwork. there was no plate within reach or on the floor where we tussled.......when i got home from being arrested there was nothing on the floor, no broken anything! maybe he blacked out too? maybe it happened some other way? he bloodied my nose but doesn't know how he did it. he knows how to throw a punch and he said that if he'd thrown a punch at me my nose would have been broken and teeth missing. so it must have been a shoulder or maybe we knocked heads? i had tried to feed him some dinner about a half hour before the fight but he was too passed out to eat so maybe that's where he got the idea of the plate?
i just want this to be OVER! i am hanging in there but he is falling apart and i don't know where he is!
so apparently i blacked out when fighting with my boyfriend because he accused me of hitting him in the head with a plate and sure enough he has a lump on his head because the police officer told me she saw it and it is written in the paperwork. there was no plate within reach or on the floor where we tussled.......when i got home from being arrested there was nothing on the floor, no broken anything! maybe he blacked out too? maybe it happened some other way? he bloodied my nose but doesn't know how he did it. he knows how to throw a punch and he said that if he'd thrown a punch at me my nose would have been broken and teeth missing. so it must have been a shoulder or maybe we knocked heads? i had tried to feed him some dinner about a half hour before the fight but he was too passed out to eat so maybe that's where he got the idea of the plate?
i just want this to be OVER! i am hanging in there but he is falling apart and i don't know where he is!
Im feeling better…
hey guys its been a while since i posted here but i want some opinions on my non-cold-turkey try...
last night i went out with my roomate to a party at and apartment owned by my roomates friend. this was not the first time id be partying there, and over the past couple months i had kinda built up a reputation as the guy, the only guy, who would drink 1.5 pint of vodka and black out. but this time i had my roomate and my friends physically stop me at a certain point. i promised i would only have 5 beers, and that i would sip them, which is normally barely enough to give me a buzz (when i normally chug 4 to start)- which i have never done before.
so i had my 5, but i craved more, and i had some other kid sneak me some, i ended up being stopped for the night at around 7-9 beers, i wasnt exactly counting. i remember feeling sometimes during the night depressed that i was barely drunk at all, and i remember complaining about how much i wanted more. but i wasnt given any more.
but the key thing here is- i actually remember the whole night.
i was actually able to converse with people, have a few good laughs, being approached by the ladies (the girls can see a drinking problem from a mile away, and usually dont like that, and when they see someone on the couch near dead from drinking theyre going to stay away), play some games, DANCE (like wtf), joke around, instead of getting so drunk i couldnt stand and just crash on the couch, staring drunk at the tv, alone.
and by the time my roomate and i left the apartment around 2:30, i had pretty much sobered up completely, and i had realised how easy it was to have a good time without getting wrecked, something that seemed impossible for so long.
just goes to prove what a blessing caring friends are.
last night i went out with my roomate to a party at and apartment owned by my roomates friend. this was not the first time id be partying there, and over the past couple months i had kinda built up a reputation as the guy, the only guy, who would drink 1.5 pint of vodka and black out. but this time i had my roomate and my friends physically stop me at a certain point. i promised i would only have 5 beers, and that i would sip them, which is normally barely enough to give me a buzz (when i normally chug 4 to start)- which i have never done before.
so i had my 5, but i craved more, and i had some other kid sneak me some, i ended up being stopped for the night at around 7-9 beers, i wasnt exactly counting. i remember feeling sometimes during the night depressed that i was barely drunk at all, and i remember complaining about how much i wanted more. but i wasnt given any more.
but the key thing here is- i actually remember the whole night.
i was actually able to converse with people, have a few good laughs, being approached by the ladies (the girls can see a drinking problem from a mile away, and usually dont like that, and when they see someone on the couch near dead from drinking theyre going to stay away), play some games, DANCE (like wtf), joke around, instead of getting so drunk i couldnt stand and just crash on the couch, staring drunk at the tv, alone.
and by the time my roomate and i left the apartment around 2:30, i had pretty much sobered up completely, and i had realised how easy it was to have a good time without getting wrecked, something that seemed impossible for so long.
just goes to prove what a blessing caring friends are.
