Archive for the ‘Knight In Shining Armor’ tag
Unbelievable…
I can't believe the power of denial....
Short history - niece in jail for second time, boyfriend lost contact when he got his visits restricted and couldn't put money on his phone for my niece to call him. She was going nuts after about 8 days of no contact, wanted me to pay the phone bill, I refused.
So, yesterday I go visit her - she got a letter. Here's what I know from her report.
He has - no job, no license (suspended), no money (his unemployment is running out,) no home (he's getting evicted), and no car (it was impounded).
His ex wife is taking him to court for back child support (good for her) and suing for full custody of thier 8 year old daughter (he's 34)
He has spent as much as $1600 for phone calls in a month to talk with her, but his unemployment was only $1200 a month.
He supposedly has no felony record but can't find work.
Ok, even if we ignore the past drug use and all the lies he told her so far (he confessed to living a double life while he was married and other things she won't tell me), this isn't a very pretty picture.
And can you believe it, she was so happy that she got the letter that she drew a picture of them kissing with an angel flying overhead and a peace dove descending upon them - Oh brother!
I didn't say anything, I just listened and said - gee he's had a tough time of it, golly I can see why he can't be reached. All the time I want to scream - GET A CLUE!
And - she still thinks he's her knight in shining armor, that he'll get her felonies erased and get her out of the workhouse early.
And then she wonders why I think she's delusional and needs medication.
I read recently that two things were necessary for an addict to get better - one, they had to start to question thier own reasoning and two, they had to have someone they trust to help them figure out how to reason effectively.
My temptation is to write my niece a letter with just the facts and a few quesitons... like how does it sit with her that her boyfriend doesn't pay child support - just like her dad. And how is it that even she, with two huge felonies could find work and he can't.
I'm guessing it would fall on deaf ears.
Any thoughts????
Short history - niece in jail for second time, boyfriend lost contact when he got his visits restricted and couldn't put money on his phone for my niece to call him. She was going nuts after about 8 days of no contact, wanted me to pay the phone bill, I refused.
So, yesterday I go visit her - she got a letter. Here's what I know from her report.
He has - no job, no license (suspended), no money (his unemployment is running out,) no home (he's getting evicted), and no car (it was impounded).
His ex wife is taking him to court for back child support (good for her) and suing for full custody of thier 8 year old daughter (he's 34)
He has spent as much as $1600 for phone calls in a month to talk with her, but his unemployment was only $1200 a month.
He supposedly has no felony record but can't find work.
Ok, even if we ignore the past drug use and all the lies he told her so far (he confessed to living a double life while he was married and other things she won't tell me), this isn't a very pretty picture.
And can you believe it, she was so happy that she got the letter that she drew a picture of them kissing with an angel flying overhead and a peace dove descending upon them - Oh brother!
I didn't say anything, I just listened and said - gee he's had a tough time of it, golly I can see why he can't be reached. All the time I want to scream - GET A CLUE!
And - she still thinks he's her knight in shining armor, that he'll get her felonies erased and get her out of the workhouse early.
And then she wonders why I think she's delusional and needs medication.
I read recently that two things were necessary for an addict to get better - one, they had to start to question thier own reasoning and two, they had to have someone they trust to help them figure out how to reason effectively.
My temptation is to write my niece a letter with just the facts and a few quesitons... like how does it sit with her that her boyfriend doesn't pay child support - just like her dad. And how is it that even she, with two huge felonies could find work and he can't.
I'm guessing it would fall on deaf ears.
Any thoughts????
