Archive for the ‘Lack Of Trust’ tag
When and How????
So, I am moving forward but I don't really quite know how I am surviving, frankly. Thank god for my therapist, but I am still not doing well. I finally escaped the insanity of addiction and all of the chaos and lack of trust, love, confidence that goes along with it and I am alone. Totally, alone. When do I start to find peace? How do I face being here by myself? Maybe I am just having a pity party, but I don't think I am going to make it through this. What's the point?
I went to a meeting last week. Good to know there are others out there like me, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I went out today to do some errands, etc. and couldn't stand it. I was alone. Everywhere I looked were couples and families. Mom's and daughters. Dad's and babies. The holidays are coming and I can't barely get through "regular" days.... How do I do this.
I know intellectually that it would have been wrong to stay in a dead marriage and to be in the midst of all the chaos and "drug induced nonsense".... but at least I wouldn't be alone. I would have my kids with me. I am taking some action with a lawyer to try to "force" some time with my kids.... amazing to me that the kids are with him and all that pain that is happening in my world is because of that fool.
God, someone talk to me. I need to stop crying and get it together.
I went to a meeting last week. Good to know there are others out there like me, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I went out today to do some errands, etc. and couldn't stand it. I was alone. Everywhere I looked were couples and families. Mom's and daughters. Dad's and babies. The holidays are coming and I can't barely get through "regular" days.... How do I do this.
I know intellectually that it would have been wrong to stay in a dead marriage and to be in the midst of all the chaos and "drug induced nonsense".... but at least I wouldn't be alone. I would have my kids with me. I am taking some action with a lawyer to try to "force" some time with my kids.... amazing to me that the kids are with him and all that pain that is happening in my world is because of that fool.
God, someone talk to me. I need to stop crying and get it together.
New here:partner of a meth addict
Hi guys,
I'm new here and after a bit of advice. About 6 weeks ago I kicked out my meth addicted partner - involving police etc..the works. Mainly to make him realise that I just couldn't cope with his use anymore - or even the initial detoxing he actually embarked on. It was just so emotionally taxing that I thought involving the police would have the desired effect. THankfully this was the kick up the butt my partner needed and has been off meth ever since.
The sobering up process has beenup and down but a few weeks agot hings were getting so much better! He started to "feel" again and started to feel the love again - which sparked a lot of emotion. We have had some good times together - spending a few weekends together (I have not let him move back in with me), which were fanatastic. The problem now is that I am not sure if I will fully trust him. I love him to bits - which is the reaosn I put in so much effort to provide love and support from afar while he chose to get clean. BUT, the trust issue is still there. He is proud of the fact that he has already been exposed to his mates that do it and has easily said no to it. Although this is good for his self esteem, it worries me to no end as I know MANY addicts wouldn't stand a chance if it were offered to them while recoverying. I know he hasn't relapsed - due to the dramatic changes in his demeanor, but I couldn't say for sure if he hasn't at least lapsed and had SOME during this time. This could completely be my lack of trust - and that is currently the trouble I face.
How can I approach this subject with my partner without him feeling deflated at my lack of trust? I could just carry on keeping our relationship at a slow pace and have patience, which is probably the angle I will take. I know this is my issue and that I need to focus on myself getting over this. I know that I will not go back to how htings were until I feel completely comfortable that he has kicked his habit...but I guess I also have to accept that it may happen again...the hardest part of all.....loving an addict...
Any suggestions? Anyone out there also dealing with partner who is a recovering addict?
I'm new here and after a bit of advice. About 6 weeks ago I kicked out my meth addicted partner - involving police etc..the works. Mainly to make him realise that I just couldn't cope with his use anymore - or even the initial detoxing he actually embarked on. It was just so emotionally taxing that I thought involving the police would have the desired effect. THankfully this was the kick up the butt my partner needed and has been off meth ever since.
The sobering up process has beenup and down but a few weeks agot hings were getting so much better! He started to "feel" again and started to feel the love again - which sparked a lot of emotion. We have had some good times together - spending a few weekends together (I have not let him move back in with me), which were fanatastic. The problem now is that I am not sure if I will fully trust him. I love him to bits - which is the reaosn I put in so much effort to provide love and support from afar while he chose to get clean. BUT, the trust issue is still there. He is proud of the fact that he has already been exposed to his mates that do it and has easily said no to it. Although this is good for his self esteem, it worries me to no end as I know MANY addicts wouldn't stand a chance if it were offered to them while recoverying. I know he hasn't relapsed - due to the dramatic changes in his demeanor, but I couldn't say for sure if he hasn't at least lapsed and had SOME during this time. This could completely be my lack of trust - and that is currently the trouble I face.
How can I approach this subject with my partner without him feeling deflated at my lack of trust? I could just carry on keeping our relationship at a slow pace and have patience, which is probably the angle I will take. I know this is my issue and that I need to focus on myself getting over this. I know that I will not go back to how htings were until I feel completely comfortable that he has kicked his habit...but I guess I also have to accept that it may happen again...the hardest part of all.....loving an addict...
Any suggestions? Anyone out there also dealing with partner who is a recovering addict?
