Archive for the ‘Lady Friend’ tag
rude awakening
I am in need of advice with two problems.
I hate this being my first post and to lay this all out like this, but I really don't know what direction to turn. I'm not some 20 yr old kid in a manner of speaking.
I broke up with my lady friend this past weekend of 3 months. As embarrassed as I am to admit this, I fell for her rather quickly as we clicked on almost every level, very similar life styles... I thought this lady had her act together, however the truth is she is very ill mannered and mean spirited. She has a lot of anger and abandon issues.
When we first met I didn't know she was a 2 yr recovering binge drinker. After a while she claimed she was good (in control) and could handle any environment that served liquor. We discussed what was needed and expected and I didn't hold her past against her... it was past, right ?
Since we started dating, she has fallen off the wagon three different times. Each time she used an excuse about something I supposedly did but was actually relationship fears based from her past as an excuse to get drunk and confrontational.
Each time she apologized and promised it wouldn't happen again and would come up with a logical reasoning. This last time this happened in front of a lot of my friends and acquaintances. Needles to say that most scattered as we all are basically low keyed and she was way over the top. I was embarrassed and felt disrespected. Of course her response the next day was "she made a mistake and I should give her another chance". Of course since Saturday she has written me and has given me more logical arguments why she acted the way she did and how much she loves me, ect..ect...
To be honest, I don't trust my judgement at this point and it scares the hell out of me... I see a unhealthy pattern developing and I'm not sure if its her or me.
I see the pattern and I know in my heart that I'm in way over my head with her. Of course she claims to love me with all her heart, but what does love have to do with anything ? I cannot compete with her dead husband and I will not continue to take the wrath because of her last failed marriage.
15 yrs ago I waisted 2 1/2 yrs with an alcoholic woman and one of my good friends is a functional alcoholic, although I have given after he made it clear he knows he is and doesn't care.
Until tonight, I never labeled my father an alcoholic, but as I think about it, he drank a six pack or two every night.
Now here is where I get my rude awakening, thus my screen name.......
In searching the net on alcoholics and their patterns I came across a post made last yr here and this lady discussed how she found info about adult children and the dysfunction associated.
I read in literal horror what I endure when I was a growing up with various issues I have faced most of my life. You see I come from a dysfunctional family. I couldn't even begin to explain what I endured and how it had effected me.
I spent most of my life angry with a chip on my shoulder. Its a wonder I didn't end up a felon in jail. It wasn't until I was well in my 30's before I began to discover who I was and that I was ok. It was a long and lonely process, but I learned to be honest with myself or I thought I have been. I have dealt with a lot of issues and thought I was in a good place in my life, but after what I read today as well as taking the adult child test, I found I was 70 %. It said that I had been severely affected and should seek help... No kidding, I already knew this, however I found that I had learn to mask many more issues, thus lying to myself... there I go being hard on myself, again..lol
Hello, I am Rude awakening and I am an adult child. I am 48 and never married and I've had enough of choosing the wrong type of woman, making the wrong decisions based on something I had no control over 30+ yrs ago.
Please don't get me wrong... in the past 15 yrs I have gone from nothing to owning a business, my business practices has been written in several major magazines in my field... designed and built my house almost completely alone with very little help. I have over come many obstacles that has held me back, but the past 48 hrs has opened my eyes to so much more that needs addressing.
I recognise that the relationship with the ex girl friend had become a very unhealthy with her. Now if that isn't enough I recognizing that all I did was work around many of my issues that I had thought I dealt with.
I feel guilty that I have walked away from her and now I feel bad for failing to recognize what has been going on with me...
I promise this is no joke... I just need a little direction
Thank you in advance.
I hate this being my first post and to lay this all out like this, but I really don't know what direction to turn. I'm not some 20 yr old kid in a manner of speaking.
I broke up with my lady friend this past weekend of 3 months. As embarrassed as I am to admit this, I fell for her rather quickly as we clicked on almost every level, very similar life styles... I thought this lady had her act together, however the truth is she is very ill mannered and mean spirited. She has a lot of anger and abandon issues.
When we first met I didn't know she was a 2 yr recovering binge drinker. After a while she claimed she was good (in control) and could handle any environment that served liquor. We discussed what was needed and expected and I didn't hold her past against her... it was past, right ?
Since we started dating, she has fallen off the wagon three different times. Each time she used an excuse about something I supposedly did but was actually relationship fears based from her past as an excuse to get drunk and confrontational.
Each time she apologized and promised it wouldn't happen again and would come up with a logical reasoning. This last time this happened in front of a lot of my friends and acquaintances. Needles to say that most scattered as we all are basically low keyed and she was way over the top. I was embarrassed and felt disrespected. Of course her response the next day was "she made a mistake and I should give her another chance". Of course since Saturday she has written me and has given me more logical arguments why she acted the way she did and how much she loves me, ect..ect...
To be honest, I don't trust my judgement at this point and it scares the hell out of me... I see a unhealthy pattern developing and I'm not sure if its her or me.
I see the pattern and I know in my heart that I'm in way over my head with her. Of course she claims to love me with all her heart, but what does love have to do with anything ? I cannot compete with her dead husband and I will not continue to take the wrath because of her last failed marriage.
15 yrs ago I waisted 2 1/2 yrs with an alcoholic woman and one of my good friends is a functional alcoholic, although I have given after he made it clear he knows he is and doesn't care.
Until tonight, I never labeled my father an alcoholic, but as I think about it, he drank a six pack or two every night.
Now here is where I get my rude awakening, thus my screen name.......
In searching the net on alcoholics and their patterns I came across a post made last yr here and this lady discussed how she found info about adult children and the dysfunction associated.
I read in literal horror what I endure when I was a growing up with various issues I have faced most of my life. You see I come from a dysfunctional family. I couldn't even begin to explain what I endured and how it had effected me.
I spent most of my life angry with a chip on my shoulder. Its a wonder I didn't end up a felon in jail. It wasn't until I was well in my 30's before I began to discover who I was and that I was ok. It was a long and lonely process, but I learned to be honest with myself or I thought I have been. I have dealt with a lot of issues and thought I was in a good place in my life, but after what I read today as well as taking the adult child test, I found I was 70 %. It said that I had been severely affected and should seek help... No kidding, I already knew this, however I found that I had learn to mask many more issues, thus lying to myself... there I go being hard on myself, again..lol
Hello, I am Rude awakening and I am an adult child. I am 48 and never married and I've had enough of choosing the wrong type of woman, making the wrong decisions based on something I had no control over 30+ yrs ago.
Please don't get me wrong... in the past 15 yrs I have gone from nothing to owning a business, my business practices has been written in several major magazines in my field... designed and built my house almost completely alone with very little help. I have over come many obstacles that has held me back, but the past 48 hrs has opened my eyes to so much more that needs addressing.
I recognise that the relationship with the ex girl friend had become a very unhealthy with her. Now if that isn't enough I recognizing that all I did was work around many of my issues that I had thought I dealt with.
I feel guilty that I have walked away from her and now I feel bad for failing to recognize what has been going on with me...
I promise this is no joke... I just need a little direction
Thank you in advance.
