Archive for the ‘Lighter’ tag
Disappointed again
I was invited to a day-long Thanksgiving get-together by a friend for the third time now and had a lovely time with fun people. ABF didn't want to be there the entire day, but said he would like to come for dinner. I was happy that we would spend Thanksgiving dinner together, especially since the host is the reason we met two years ago.
I went to pick him up and he was stoned. I let that go. He went to get changed and ready and before we left, he was looking for a lighter to smoke some more pot. He KNOWS I hate it and it was getting later and later. He became angry because he couldn't find a lighter that worked. When he did, I asked him why he is doing this if he knows how I feel about it. He slammed down the pipe and asked me to leave and I did.
I drove back to my friend's place, collected myself, and promised myself to NOT let this ruin my day. When I got back I told them some story (not everyone there needed to know the truth) and had the best Thanksgiving dinner ever - so delicious (and I have left-overs in the fridge, yay!).
I am glad that I was able to enjoy the rest of the evening and these great people's company. I am mad at myself for not leaving my ABF although I can see how is getting worse. This utter disregard for me is shocking. He is not abusive, but most definitely chooses his DOCs over me and I deserve better and he knows I do.
I know I should just end it, but I can't right now. It's just not an option. I am drowning in work and I am visiting my family in two weeks and don't want drama. I just want to withdraw a bit and regroup. I know it will continue if I let it and I feel weak for not putting an end to this right now, but sometimes I am so sick of making decisions and right now I just want to do what I have to do professionally and not deal with it. Kinda of like being in denial until January and not think about what will be. I just want this year to end on a high note because I get my work done.
I am so sick of being disappointed and crying and having to lie. I know what I SHOULD do, but right this moment, all I want to do is whine...:worried:
Still: Happy Thanksgiving! :thank1
I went to pick him up and he was stoned. I let that go. He went to get changed and ready and before we left, he was looking for a lighter to smoke some more pot. He KNOWS I hate it and it was getting later and later. He became angry because he couldn't find a lighter that worked. When he did, I asked him why he is doing this if he knows how I feel about it. He slammed down the pipe and asked me to leave and I did.
I drove back to my friend's place, collected myself, and promised myself to NOT let this ruin my day. When I got back I told them some story (not everyone there needed to know the truth) and had the best Thanksgiving dinner ever - so delicious (and I have left-overs in the fridge, yay!).
I am glad that I was able to enjoy the rest of the evening and these great people's company. I am mad at myself for not leaving my ABF although I can see how is getting worse. This utter disregard for me is shocking. He is not abusive, but most definitely chooses his DOCs over me and I deserve better and he knows I do.
I know I should just end it, but I can't right now. It's just not an option. I am drowning in work and I am visiting my family in two weeks and don't want drama. I just want to withdraw a bit and regroup. I know it will continue if I let it and I feel weak for not putting an end to this right now, but sometimes I am so sick of making decisions and right now I just want to do what I have to do professionally and not deal with it. Kinda of like being in denial until January and not think about what will be. I just want this year to end on a high note because I get my work done.
I am so sick of being disappointed and crying and having to lie. I know what I SHOULD do, but right this moment, all I want to do is whine...:worried:
Still: Happy Thanksgiving! :thank1
In Laws Enable AH
Well- My Ah did not work all week. He says his back hurts. This is after being out over 2 months with hip replacement. He has excuse for it all! I am slaving working hard and still being cursed at, mouth spitting at and yelled at, told I am horrible yada yada yada-- Oh yea Nag of the Year! I forgot to add that. I came home last night to hear how our chiropractor/neighbor's office manager missed his call and did not return his call. A normal person would call back but Ah cussed me about it- said he will just suffer and the office sucks yada yada yada. I called them - they apologize- say tell him to come now- he refuses and says forget it. NiCE! I went to his folks nearby to talk to his Mom and to tell her he is out of his mind- he is throwing things, cussing, I found a lighter in his pocket so I know he is smoking- I have 2 feet out the door- she needs to talk to him and calm him down as my teen age sons were freaked out and i have had enough.
She comes down- she is terribly sweet- but does not want to mention the drugs or alcohol near Thanksgiving..but talks to him in our room - he goes to bed by 7 when he isn't wasted. By the time he is done with her she comes out and on the way home tells me ...........I am mean to him...you have to give a man credit for the smallest things even if you know it is not deserved.....he told her I missed 1 credit card payment and because of that Discover has jacked my rate to 18.99%. She scolds me for that. Mind you - he has not worked and not been paid a bill since September 1. I have paid the house, the cars, the boat, the college bills- all utilities , medicals, insurance IT ALL! She defended him. No wonder he is an idiot and can't do for himself. I told her I am done paying his way- he can move in with her if he wants and she can deal with him. I am done. She of course does not want that ---- He could not pay 1/5 of the bills here alone. He has said he won't leave and wants me to leave with 2 kids and 2 dogs. I read that post about when the pain stops and I am thinking it is stopping for me because I can barely deal with my terminally ill parents and my business and my bills as it is. I told him I will not spend Thanksgiving with him - He only brings me down and I am sick of his drunken pot smoking ways. He lost his first family - he has pretty much lost us...he doesn't care...Oh well!:a043:
She comes down- she is terribly sweet- but does not want to mention the drugs or alcohol near Thanksgiving..but talks to him in our room - he goes to bed by 7 when he isn't wasted. By the time he is done with her she comes out and on the way home tells me ...........I am mean to him...you have to give a man credit for the smallest things even if you know it is not deserved.....he told her I missed 1 credit card payment and because of that Discover has jacked my rate to 18.99%. She scolds me for that. Mind you - he has not worked and not been paid a bill since September 1. I have paid the house, the cars, the boat, the college bills- all utilities , medicals, insurance IT ALL! She defended him. No wonder he is an idiot and can't do for himself. I told her I am done paying his way- he can move in with her if he wants and she can deal with him. I am done. She of course does not want that ---- He could not pay 1/5 of the bills here alone. He has said he won't leave and wants me to leave with 2 kids and 2 dogs. I read that post about when the pain stops and I am thinking it is stopping for me because I can barely deal with my terminally ill parents and my business and my bills as it is. I told him I will not spend Thanksgiving with him - He only brings me down and I am sick of his drunken pot smoking ways. He lost his first family - he has pretty much lost us...he doesn't care...Oh well!:a043:
Please help - Need Advice
Hi everyone. So, Friday night was pretty eventful. I went down with my BF (currently trying to recover from painkillers with sub) to the bar. I know that's not really the best place to be but if I wasn't with him he would have gone anyway.
Well, anyway.....
He says he needs to go to the atm to get money to pay the tab. I said, just use your debit card. He didn't want to do that so he left with some "guy" and came right back. Took out two hundred dollars!! Okay, fine, whatever!
Later on I reached in his pocket to grab his lighter and found a bag. Yup. A bag. Couldn't see what was in it. Said it was his friends and he was holding it. His friend was at the bar too. He said "give it back!" I said ok.
Well, I didn't know what to think. I had so many emotions. I went out to smoke my cigarette and he came out there to talk to me I guess and I didn't here him. He ended up leaving me at the bar! I was driving so I found him walking home.
He was upset and said you thought it was mine. I said, no, I didn't know what to think - how could you leave me there? Not cool.
DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW I WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL IF HE WAS USING. IT IS OXY AND IF HE DID USE IT HE WOULD SNORT IT. PLEASE HELP. SOMEONE. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT SIGNS TO LOOK FOR.
Thank you so much. I told him what I would be mad about is lying. If it was his, tell me the truth. I don't want to be a fool and believe in him and trust him if he is lying. But I don't want to accuse him if I really don't have proof.
Hope someone can give me some advice - thank you everyone!
Well, anyway.....
He says he needs to go to the atm to get money to pay the tab. I said, just use your debit card. He didn't want to do that so he left with some "guy" and came right back. Took out two hundred dollars!! Okay, fine, whatever!
Later on I reached in his pocket to grab his lighter and found a bag. Yup. A bag. Couldn't see what was in it. Said it was his friends and he was holding it. His friend was at the bar too. He said "give it back!" I said ok.
Well, I didn't know what to think. I had so many emotions. I went out to smoke my cigarette and he came out there to talk to me I guess and I didn't here him. He ended up leaving me at the bar! I was driving so I found him walking home.
He was upset and said you thought it was mine. I said, no, I didn't know what to think - how could you leave me there? Not cool.
DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW I WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL IF HE WAS USING. IT IS OXY AND IF HE DID USE IT HE WOULD SNORT IT. PLEASE HELP. SOMEONE. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT SIGNS TO LOOK FOR.
Thank you so much. I told him what I would be mad about is lying. If it was his, tell me the truth. I don't want to be a fool and believe in him and trust him if he is lying. But I don't want to accuse him if I really don't have proof.
Hope someone can give me some advice - thank you everyone!
