Archive for the ‘Liquor Store’ tag
Checking in with HOPE!
Hello good people! New guy here. I'm on day 46 and felling blessed to have finally made a commitment to myself to live sober rather than die drunk.
I'm a 57 year old male who spent 37 years addicted to pot, coke and finally alcohol. I managed to quit the first two without too much trouble, but the booze really had me by the balls. I just couldn't quit it on my own. I went to a bunch of AA meetings over the past few years then headed directly to the liquor store afterward. I really didn't think AA was for me until I realized that it wasn't a magic bullet... that I would have to first care enough about myself to take care of myself, and that I would have to change my behavior for me and not for someone or something else. There was also the "religious" thing about AA that I could not accept. This changed for me when I realized that, no, I am not religious, but I am spiritual and I can believe and love a higher power of my choosing. Basically I made this whole concept much more difficult than it really is. So, today I am on step 3- Turning my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand Him...Her:c033:... and finding this to be creating some ambivalence in me. I guess it is a control thing. I accept that I have little or no control over anything other than myself so giving that control over to God is a major paradigm shift. Yea, ok, again I may be making this more difficult than it really is.
Anyway, I have come to believe in the AA way and that %100 of alcoholics will stay sober if they work the program %100. For those who don't believe that AA is for them, and have given it a chance, I certainly understand. What is of most importance is to find something that works for you :c011:.
I'm a 57 year old male who spent 37 years addicted to pot, coke and finally alcohol. I managed to quit the first two without too much trouble, but the booze really had me by the balls. I just couldn't quit it on my own. I went to a bunch of AA meetings over the past few years then headed directly to the liquor store afterward. I really didn't think AA was for me until I realized that it wasn't a magic bullet... that I would have to first care enough about myself to take care of myself, and that I would have to change my behavior for me and not for someone or something else. There was also the "religious" thing about AA that I could not accept. This changed for me when I realized that, no, I am not religious, but I am spiritual and I can believe and love a higher power of my choosing. Basically I made this whole concept much more difficult than it really is. So, today I am on step 3- Turning my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand Him...Her:c033:... and finding this to be creating some ambivalence in me. I guess it is a control thing. I accept that I have little or no control over anything other than myself so giving that control over to God is a major paradigm shift. Yea, ok, again I may be making this more difficult than it really is.
Anyway, I have come to believe in the AA way and that %100 of alcoholics will stay sober if they work the program %100. For those who don't believe that AA is for them, and have given it a chance, I certainly understand. What is of most importance is to find something that works for you :c011:.
Should I take in “dying” ex-husband (again)?
I am struggling with a very painful situation - my ex-AH has end stage cirrhosis and I am trying to decide whether I should let him come home, again. We were married for 23 years, now divorced since January of 2007. He was diagnosed with cirrhosis in July of 2007 and spent 2 months in the hospital before I brought him home,where he stayed for 4 months before making a truly miraculous recovery. He then (at my suggestion) moved out again, dove back into the bottle, and now is at death's door again. He is having paracentesis procedures approximately every 3 weeks, each time about 13 LITERS of fluid is removed. He is skin and bones and extremely weak. Presently, he lives alone in a 3rd floor apartment. Despite his condition, he somehow manages to get to the liquor store and has been drunk the past two days, not to mention all of the other times.
We have two grown children, ages 23 and 20. Our daughter, the 20 year old, is taking this extremely hard, and I want to do what I can to ease her pain, so that at least she knows her dad is being taken care of and isn't lying dead on the floor of his apartment. I get along pretty well (considering), with my ex, but the thought of going through this again with him fills me with dread. He looks like a walking corpse, and is unappreciative and rude. Last year when he was in the hospital, I was there every day, when he stayed with me, I ran myself ragged taking him to the transplant hospital in another city, to his doctors here, cleaning up after him at home, and living with a dry drunk who acted like he resented the hell out of me no matter what I did for him. He feels like I "owe" him everything because I got half of his retirement in our divorce.
My questions are this: HOW DO I KNOW IF HE'S REALLY NEAR DEATH? He appears to be in horrible shape, but he pulled through this last year. Since we're divorced, I can't ask his doctor. I really do care about him, but I can't face MONTHS of living with this again! There is no other family that can take him in. Am I awful for not wanting to do this again, especially since he's still drinking?
Thanks for any advice,
redhot
We have two grown children, ages 23 and 20. Our daughter, the 20 year old, is taking this extremely hard, and I want to do what I can to ease her pain, so that at least she knows her dad is being taken care of and isn't lying dead on the floor of his apartment. I get along pretty well (considering), with my ex, but the thought of going through this again with him fills me with dread. He looks like a walking corpse, and is unappreciative and rude. Last year when he was in the hospital, I was there every day, when he stayed with me, I ran myself ragged taking him to the transplant hospital in another city, to his doctors here, cleaning up after him at home, and living with a dry drunk who acted like he resented the hell out of me no matter what I did for him. He feels like I "owe" him everything because I got half of his retirement in our divorce.
My questions are this: HOW DO I KNOW IF HE'S REALLY NEAR DEATH? He appears to be in horrible shape, but he pulled through this last year. Since we're divorced, I can't ask his doctor. I really do care about him, but I can't face MONTHS of living with this again! There is no other family that can take him in. Am I awful for not wanting to do this again, especially since he's still drinking?
Thanks for any advice,
redhot
Stuck Here
Someone at an A.A. meeting once told me that regardless of whether I'm 'in' or 'out', I am in A.A. for life. I think maybe what he meant was, that the moment I went to my first meeting and admitted that I am powerless over alcohol is that I am by default, an A.A.-er.
I was frightened by that prospect, until I found myself with one foot in A.A. halls and one foot out over the last two years for what seemed like no end.
Then it started to hit home as soon as I began regularly running into people that I had seen at meetings out in public and sometimes it was not such a welcome encounter.
Coincidentally, just before I started to go to meetings on my own accord (and not being dragged in by a friend who was in the program) I started seeing this guy jogging in my neighborhood. He had this big smile and always said hi. There was something about him that made me feel inspired.
Then, sure enough, I went to a meeting in the neighborhood and he was the treasurer there. He didn't bat an eye when he saw me.
Since then, he has seen me at meetings, he has seen me hanging outside of bars, walking out of a liquor store, he has seen me remorsefully hung-over and he has seen me beaming with my head held high after leaving a meeting. I can't say it is not a very awkward experience and association to have with a person who the only thing you only know is their first name.
When I was beginning to go to meetings, I held a fear that I would run into more of my drinking friends and have awkward encounters with them and I wanted to keep up a front that I was still their drinking buddy (I would just not return their calls when they called me later to ask me if I wanted to go out with them).
The interesting (or maybe not-so-interesting) thing about this is, is that my old drinking buddies are never to be found, or not until I look for them.
But an A.A.-er will pop up at any time at the most unexpected places. And I will admit, it does get annoying (because their getting in the way of my addiction!)
I guess it is to serve as a reminder. I have always been incredibly afraid of running into a drinking buddy while I was having coffee with someone in A.A. and having to explain who this person was and where I knew them. But the funny thing is, is that that has happened maybe once, but the times I've encountered people in A.A. while I was out with a drinking buddy are numerous.
I guess my point is, that whether I like it or not, I am stuck in recovery. It will follow me and rear it's head just as much those enticing neon signs from the corner bars do. I guess it is my choice which path I really want to take.
Besides, I think the Neighborhood guy has probably had enough of these awkward encounters as I have.
I was frightened by that prospect, until I found myself with one foot in A.A. halls and one foot out over the last two years for what seemed like no end.
Then it started to hit home as soon as I began regularly running into people that I had seen at meetings out in public and sometimes it was not such a welcome encounter.
Coincidentally, just before I started to go to meetings on my own accord (and not being dragged in by a friend who was in the program) I started seeing this guy jogging in my neighborhood. He had this big smile and always said hi. There was something about him that made me feel inspired.
Then, sure enough, I went to a meeting in the neighborhood and he was the treasurer there. He didn't bat an eye when he saw me.
Since then, he has seen me at meetings, he has seen me hanging outside of bars, walking out of a liquor store, he has seen me remorsefully hung-over and he has seen me beaming with my head held high after leaving a meeting. I can't say it is not a very awkward experience and association to have with a person who the only thing you only know is their first name.
When I was beginning to go to meetings, I held a fear that I would run into more of my drinking friends and have awkward encounters with them and I wanted to keep up a front that I was still their drinking buddy (I would just not return their calls when they called me later to ask me if I wanted to go out with them).
The interesting (or maybe not-so-interesting) thing about this is, is that my old drinking buddies are never to be found, or not until I look for them.
But an A.A.-er will pop up at any time at the most unexpected places. And I will admit, it does get annoying (because their getting in the way of my addiction!)
I guess it is to serve as a reminder. I have always been incredibly afraid of running into a drinking buddy while I was having coffee with someone in A.A. and having to explain who this person was and where I knew them. But the funny thing is, is that that has happened maybe once, but the times I've encountered people in A.A. while I was out with a drinking buddy are numerous.
I guess my point is, that whether I like it or not, I am stuck in recovery. It will follow me and rear it's head just as much those enticing neon signs from the corner bars do. I guess it is my choice which path I really want to take.
Besides, I think the Neighborhood guy has probably had enough of these awkward encounters as I have.
First Post: My story (1 pint in 2 sips, any suggestions)
Hello everybody,
I am extremely glad to have stumbled upon this site and have navigated and lurked on the site for about a week now.
I am 30 years old, live in Oklahoma and have been an addict/alcoholic since i can remember (maybe 12 years)
I'm single, have a 6 year old daughter(who lives with her mom) and ALWAYS need to be altered. I cannot remember the last time I got through a day without having something to curb my soberness.
I can drink a pint of vodka or whiskey in 2 sips (Could probably down it one if I really wanted to) and do this on a regular basis. When people watch me drink from the bottle they're usually in shock and I often get embarrassed because my problem is so evident. So I often times make up excuses like "I haven't done that in years" when in fact I do it on a regular basis.
Whether it's during lunch, when I'm on a job, right before a job interview, going grocery shopping, or just surfing the internet, I like to have at least a pint in my system.
If it's not hard liquor, it's wine and alot of it.
I can go days at a time and feel I can control it, but all it takes is one moment of boredom and I'm pulling up to the liquor store again. I cant even make it home from the liquor store without cracking the bottle, so I take the back route where the cops seldom go.
5 out of 7 times I drink I wake up the next morning in bed not remembering the last part of the night.
My biggest problem is that once I'm hammered, I like to go out and socialize.........so as you can guess I'm often traveling the streets at night driving my car when most people wouldnt be able to walk.
I'm currently 6 days sober.
Thank you for listening.
I am extremely glad to have stumbled upon this site and have navigated and lurked on the site for about a week now.
I am 30 years old, live in Oklahoma and have been an addict/alcoholic since i can remember (maybe 12 years)
I'm single, have a 6 year old daughter(who lives with her mom) and ALWAYS need to be altered. I cannot remember the last time I got through a day without having something to curb my soberness.
I can drink a pint of vodka or whiskey in 2 sips (Could probably down it one if I really wanted to) and do this on a regular basis. When people watch me drink from the bottle they're usually in shock and I often get embarrassed because my problem is so evident. So I often times make up excuses like "I haven't done that in years" when in fact I do it on a regular basis.
Whether it's during lunch, when I'm on a job, right before a job interview, going grocery shopping, or just surfing the internet, I like to have at least a pint in my system.
If it's not hard liquor, it's wine and alot of it.
I can go days at a time and feel I can control it, but all it takes is one moment of boredom and I'm pulling up to the liquor store again. I cant even make it home from the liquor store without cracking the bottle, so I take the back route where the cops seldom go.
5 out of 7 times I drink I wake up the next morning in bed not remembering the last part of the night.
My biggest problem is that once I'm hammered, I like to go out and socialize.........so as you can guess I'm often traveling the streets at night driving my car when most people wouldnt be able to walk.
I'm currently 6 days sober.
Thank you for listening.
suuper aggravated, feeling like breaking things, puffy as all hell, and barely sober
well, let me just explain: i guess you could say i am the epitome of cross addictied. i have been diagnosed with anorexia, bulimia, drug addiction, and alcoholism...along with the standard mental disorders of social anxiety, PTSD, and depression. having said that, alcoholism is the main evil of the moment. really, i can't make it for two days without flying into a rage and heading for the liquor store. and i do *try*...but the irritability that comes along with the withdrawls is too much to bear sometimes. also, i read some previous posts about the alcohol and facial puffiness *which i cannot stand*...i notice it most the first few days of withdrawl and as someone with an eating disorder i am aware that i am waayyy too sensitive as to what other people think of me. HOWEVER, one comment on how bloated my face looks and BAM, it's back to the vodka bottle. you all seem to have a lot of strengh and i know you don't have "all the answers", but if you all could give me advice on how you got throught that initial month of sobriety (most i've had is 2 weeks in the past 2 years) i would love to hear it. thanks!!
Clarity moment
On Friday I went to a concert that had been planned over two months ago. My ex boyfriend (just friends) asked me to go and I said I would. This was all before my husband decided to get sober and come home. Since I already made the plans and really wanted to go to the concert I went.
I asked the ex not to bring drugs or alcohol into my car and told him I was not kidding. So get what happend.........
We get close and he insists we drive straight to a liquor store. I refused because I didn't have the gas and he was already showing signs of drinking so I turned the car around to go to the concert. I think that ticked him off a bit.
We get to the front gate and cops are frisking people. They go to frisk him and the cop notices he isn't pulling everything out of his pocket. My "friend" starts getting rude saying "what man? what the fk?" I'm totally embarassed at that point.
So John (the friend) pulls out a little joint and the cops says "all this for that?" and lets him go into the concert. Ohhhh and a handfu of condoms.I was mortified. So the ticket scanner couldn't scan his tickets because they were off the computer and the ink was dull. So then John starts getting rude again. Acting stupid. Total disrespect for authority.
Luckily I saw a few friends and they let us go in. Once we were in he headed straight to the beer tent.
He kept pressuring me to drink. I kept saying "I don't want a drink"
He wondered off the entire concert, all but a few times and when he walked up to me he would try to put his hands on my hips and I would firmly tell him to stop it! I was standing with my sister and her friend.
I told him I was leaving before the last band and on the way to the gate he started getting pissed.
Apparently he had planned that he was going to have sex with me. Alcoholic thinking. No way, shape or form did I give him that impression. So on the way to the car I started to get a bit scared and wondered what I should do.
For a few minutes into the ride he was oddly quiet. Then he starts swearing at me saying "now that your husband is back you are going to be with him?" and getting so bad I thought he was going to hit me. He is a big guy.
He was ranting and then would repeat himself which made me believe he was blacking out.:c029:
I felt I was going to be hit and raped without a doubt. I had to do some quick thinking and pulled into a store and asked him as nice as I could to please go buy me some water.
As soon as he got out I drove off and left his arse there.
I came home and told my husband. He knew I was shaken.
What a wake up call. I forgot how unpredictable alcoholics can be. How it can turn a kind, gentle friend into someone that you don't recognize. I've been friends with him for 15 years.
So any girls out there that have alcoholic friends, please be careful. They turn into other people so fast and it can be so dangerous. I learned a huge lesson that could have been deadly. That's why I am sharing
I asked the ex not to bring drugs or alcohol into my car and told him I was not kidding. So get what happend.........
We get close and he insists we drive straight to a liquor store. I refused because I didn't have the gas and he was already showing signs of drinking so I turned the car around to go to the concert. I think that ticked him off a bit.
We get to the front gate and cops are frisking people. They go to frisk him and the cop notices he isn't pulling everything out of his pocket. My "friend" starts getting rude saying "what man? what the fk?" I'm totally embarassed at that point.
So John (the friend) pulls out a little joint and the cops says "all this for that?" and lets him go into the concert. Ohhhh and a handfu of condoms.I was mortified. So the ticket scanner couldn't scan his tickets because they were off the computer and the ink was dull. So then John starts getting rude again. Acting stupid. Total disrespect for authority.
Luckily I saw a few friends and they let us go in. Once we were in he headed straight to the beer tent.
He kept pressuring me to drink. I kept saying "I don't want a drink"
He wondered off the entire concert, all but a few times and when he walked up to me he would try to put his hands on my hips and I would firmly tell him to stop it! I was standing with my sister and her friend.
I told him I was leaving before the last band and on the way to the gate he started getting pissed.
Apparently he had planned that he was going to have sex with me. Alcoholic thinking. No way, shape or form did I give him that impression. So on the way to the car I started to get a bit scared and wondered what I should do.
For a few minutes into the ride he was oddly quiet. Then he starts swearing at me saying "now that your husband is back you are going to be with him?" and getting so bad I thought he was going to hit me. He is a big guy.
He was ranting and then would repeat himself which made me believe he was blacking out.:c029:
I felt I was going to be hit and raped without a doubt. I had to do some quick thinking and pulled into a store and asked him as nice as I could to please go buy me some water.
As soon as he got out I drove off and left his arse there.
I came home and told my husband. He knew I was shaken.
What a wake up call. I forgot how unpredictable alcoholics can be. How it can turn a kind, gentle friend into someone that you don't recognize. I've been friends with him for 15 years.
So any girls out there that have alcoholic friends, please be careful. They turn into other people so fast and it can be so dangerous. I learned a huge lesson that could have been deadly. That's why I am sharing
Alcoholic Fiance, badly need advice
I am have been clean for 1 year from opiates and I'm personally doing pretty good, but my fiance, the man who helped me get clean, is an alcoholic. He won't admit it, and he doesn't want to quit. He moved me out of state to get away from the drugs and without him I probably never would have got clean if it wasn't for him and I want to support him and be there for him like he was me. I wouldn't mind his excessive drinking but when he drinks he becomes a completely different person. He's short tempered, easily offended, and just altogether mean. He is the manager at a liquor store and comes home with a different kind of beer every night. He won't quit his job to get away from the alcohol because the money's too good. He says if he wanted to quit he would. I think deep down he knows he has a problem, he admitted to me once but later denied it. I know whether he drinks or not isn't up to me, and I know he has to want it, but I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. He was there for me when I needed him and he never gave up on me. When i'd wake up at 4 am crying for a pill and he had to get up for work at 6, he'd stay up with me. He spent $3,000 on methadone. I can't give up on him. Any advice on convincing he has a problem, or even just how to tolerate it better? I've started going to bed earlier when he drinks so I'm not awake to see him that way, but there has to be another answer. Any advice??
How do I get him to quit?
Hi everyone, I'm new to SR and I need some help. I've been clean and opiate free for almost a year now, all because my fiance moved me out of state. My fiance is an alcoholic. He admitted it to me once but otherwise won't admit it to me. I haven't asked him to. He is a manager at a liquor store and comes home with a new kind of beer every night. He gets paid good there, so he won't quit. When he drinks, he gets mean and I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. He stood by me and helped me get clean and I don't wanna give up on him. If I mention him even cutting back on the beer he gets mad and says he is who he is and he won't change for anyone. What do I do? If he could just admit that he'd have a problem we could go from there but he won't. He's been to meetings, had sponsors and everything else and nothing's worked. I know he won't quit for anyone but himself, and he says if he wanted to quit drinking he would. He has no desire. I don't want to leave him... He's a great person when he's sober. Awesome to be around, fun, and easy going. When he drinks I have to walk on egg shells to avoid him getting mad. Any advice would be appreciated!! Thanks!
Day 8 and a little rambling
Today is my 8th day without a drink. Last time I only made it 11 days so I am anxious to hit that "hump". I have had random thoughts about a drink but for the most part, they are not cravings.
I am trying to figure out why I started drinking again.... aside from being an addict, lol.... I didn't have the kids (I NEVER drink when I have my kids, thankfully) and my husband asked me to watch our business for a couple of hours and I think I felt FREE. No kids... no being stuck at home... a time for a little socializing... and it was easy to go across the street to the only liquor store in town and get two mini vodkas... so I did... and then I wanted to keep that buzz going... so on the way home I got a bigger vodka and waited until the kids were in bed and DH watching TV to have a sip. I told myself it would last over a week.... after passing out that night, I realized the next morning that I had had HALF of it... and I poured the rest out... but that didn't stop me from getting more for the next night... And I wonder why I do that? I don't feel GOOD when I drink. I am not HAPPY when I drink. I am mean to my husband and say terrible things to him... and then don't remember saying them...
Anyway, it's day 8 and I am having a GOOD DAY and that is what counts... I am so happy to be sober TODAY!!!
I am trying to figure out why I started drinking again.... aside from being an addict, lol.... I didn't have the kids (I NEVER drink when I have my kids, thankfully) and my husband asked me to watch our business for a couple of hours and I think I felt FREE. No kids... no being stuck at home... a time for a little socializing... and it was easy to go across the street to the only liquor store in town and get two mini vodkas... so I did... and then I wanted to keep that buzz going... so on the way home I got a bigger vodka and waited until the kids were in bed and DH watching TV to have a sip. I told myself it would last over a week.... after passing out that night, I realized the next morning that I had had HALF of it... and I poured the rest out... but that didn't stop me from getting more for the next night... And I wonder why I do that? I don't feel GOOD when I drink. I am not HAPPY when I drink. I am mean to my husband and say terrible things to him... and then don't remember saying them...
Anyway, it's day 8 and I am having a GOOD DAY and that is what counts... I am so happy to be sober TODAY!!!
What do you have in England/Canada?
Can you just walk into a drug store and get opiates?
I quit drinking a long time ago and can walk into a liquor store and buy something for a party so that's no big deal. I guess the same thinking applies for over the counter drugs too.
Resisting the temptation gets far easier the more time passes.
I quit drinking a long time ago and can walk into a liquor store and buy something for a party so that's no big deal. I guess the same thinking applies for over the counter drugs too.
Resisting the temptation gets far easier the more time passes.
