Archive for the ‘Liquor’ tag
Crossing that fine line…
I was wondering and have heard it mentioned many times what exactly is the actions of "crossing that fine line". I know I did many alcoholic things such as drinking to relieve a hangover, blacking out, drinking several days in a row from morning to night, hiding liquor etc. Did I absolutly cross the line with no turning back? This is one of many questions I have yet to answer.
Are we all born alcoholic or can we become alkies?
From the Chapter To Wives on the very bottom of page 108 and continue on page 109.
"Some will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while."
Now, I do not think the Big Book is the Alpha and Omega of alcoholism, but I do think this is overlooked and important. There is the belief that we are all Born as alcoholics. I have never believed this myself. I also see it in the heavy drinkers who show up in AA. Some people do not need to work the steps in order to get better.
Quote:
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Your husband may be only a heavy drinker. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. Perhaps he spends too much money for liquor. It may be slowing him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it. Sometimes he is a source of embarrassment to you and his friends. He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does him no harm, that drinking is necessary in his business. He would probably be insulted if he were called an alcoholic. This world is full of people like him. Some will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while. |
"Some will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while."
Now, I do not think the Big Book is the Alpha and Omega of alcoholism, but I do think this is overlooked and important. There is the belief that we are all Born as alcoholics. I have never believed this myself. I also see it in the heavy drinkers who show up in AA. Some people do not need to work the steps in order to get better.
…when I accepted my Alcoholism as real
Since it has come up again, I would like to segue over to this continuing controversy over the real Alcoholic. First, I go to the Big Book. Why? The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is the basic text for our fellowship; this book is the study guide to a New Life. As a member of AA for a few twenty four hours, I use what is suggested by those who recovered from a seemingly hope malady called Alcoholism, not Expressionism and where better to find the answers than in a place where the solution is clearly given. When I read the posts that are in opposition to the term real Alcoholic, I have to scratch my head. To better understand my discontent, I go to the source, the Big Book.
"As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks."
I questioned for years not my Alcoholism, but rather if my life was worth recovery. I had lost hope that I would ever amount to anything. Being a real Alcoholic was never in doubt, becoming a member of society and living free was always something unobtainable. Over the years and the many relapses, I began to realize that many Alcoholics did not drink like I did and continue living; was I different? At some point I simply accepted that my pattern was different not my disease.
?To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. But try and get them to see it!?
Some years ago, when I accepted my Alcoholism as real, not a myth, I began to recover. Acceptance that I could move past the pain into the light with a restoration of hope finally came to me. There was relief that I knew who I was and was accepted by my peers. I no longer had to hide in the shadows and seek death and every turn. I was a real Alcoholic just like the book said and with this realization, I began to accept the solutions presented in the Book.
?We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.?
That was me; a man who could never recover control of my drinking ? a real Alcoholic. Even today, I find it hard to describe the exhilaration I feel knowing what I truly am. It is one thing knowing what are you, it is vast different to know who you are.
Now back to our difference of thinking. Why is the term real Alcoholic such a stumbling block to so many?
?Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.?
I was unwilling in those earlier years to admit that I was a real Alcoholic, in spite of the evidence to the contrary.
?We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.?
I will leave this here and continue later, work calls.
"As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks."
I questioned for years not my Alcoholism, but rather if my life was worth recovery. I had lost hope that I would ever amount to anything. Being a real Alcoholic was never in doubt, becoming a member of society and living free was always something unobtainable. Over the years and the many relapses, I began to realize that many Alcoholics did not drink like I did and continue living; was I different? At some point I simply accepted that my pattern was different not my disease.
?To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop. We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. But try and get them to see it!?
Some years ago, when I accepted my Alcoholism as real, not a myth, I began to recover. Acceptance that I could move past the pain into the light with a restoration of hope finally came to me. There was relief that I knew who I was and was accepted by my peers. I no longer had to hide in the shadows and seek death and every turn. I was a real Alcoholic just like the book said and with this realization, I began to accept the solutions presented in the Book.
?We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.?
That was me; a man who could never recover control of my drinking ? a real Alcoholic. Even today, I find it hard to describe the exhilaration I feel knowing what I truly am. It is one thing knowing what are you, it is vast different to know who you are.
Now back to our difference of thinking. Why is the term real Alcoholic such a stumbling block to so many?
?Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.?
I was unwilling in those earlier years to admit that I was a real Alcoholic, in spite of the evidence to the contrary.
?We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.?
I will leave this here and continue later, work calls.
We are not a glum lot
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We have shown how we got out from under. You say: "Yes, I'm willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?" Yes, there is a substitute, and it is vastly more than that. It is a Fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom, and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find The Fellowship, and so will you. "How is that to come about?" you ask. "Where am I to find these people?" You are going ot meet these new friends in your own community. Near you alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich and poor, these are future Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common yourney. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself, that others may survive and rediscover life. You will learn the full meaning of "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Big Book chapter A Vision For You) |
Learning to give of ourselves fills the hole in our spirit caused by our former slothful indifference to our responsibilites and to the welfare of others. The incalculable benefits of self-sacrifice replace the baleful results of selfishness. To awaken spiritually and find fellowship with others united in a great purpose gives us a satisfaction and sense of fulfillment we never dreamed possible.
I Can’t Stop
I just can't stop guys. I am in a pattern right now where I drink every other day. I am to the point where I can't imagine my nights without drinking. It's like I have nothing else to do. I like working out, but I drink instread. I like AA meetings but I don't go, I drink instead. I don't know what my problem is. I really don't. I swear, if I could go to a 90 rehab center I would go. I feel like the familiarity of my life influences me to drink.
I really have isolated myself. I used to be very active and have many freinds. Now I come home, eat dinner, and then start drinking. I don't even get hungover anymore. I'm drinking over a half of a fifth of strong liquor and smoking and I don't even feel bad the next day. Or, maybe I do feel bad, I'm just used to it. I need to stop. Check my old posts. I have been at good points with sobriety before but they were all short lived.
I have gone through custody battle with my ex regarding my son and I think the sadness may contribute as well. I just don't know where to start or how to stop.
WILL SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE... I love the forum and there are so many good people here that had to be where I am. I just can't stop drinking...
I really have isolated myself. I used to be very active and have many freinds. Now I come home, eat dinner, and then start drinking. I don't even get hungover anymore. I'm drinking over a half of a fifth of strong liquor and smoking and I don't even feel bad the next day. Or, maybe I do feel bad, I'm just used to it. I need to stop. Check my old posts. I have been at good points with sobriety before but they were all short lived.
I have gone through custody battle with my ex regarding my son and I think the sadness may contribute as well. I just don't know where to start or how to stop.
WILL SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE... I love the forum and there are so many good people here that had to be where I am. I just can't stop drinking...
The moderate drinker
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Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone. (from the chapter "There Is A Solution" in the Big Book |
Keep Coming Back
In this here drama of life, we're bound to slip off the stage a few times. The director is a lush and can't even hold his liquor. The problem is, he has a problem holding everyone else's liquor. :lmao
Lights! Camera! Action!
From the very first step, recovery is a path of action. First, we have to get honest. Then we have to get real. We have to wake up. Snap out of it. Get on with the task of making things right.
It's a difficult journey sometimes. Your ass may even fall off a few times. Pick it back up, jump on the water wagon, and roll off into the wild blue yonder with all the other winners. You may not win an Oscar for your performances, but you can know in your heart you've just won the whole audience for the rest of your life.
You see, recovery is not a plan that is over and done with. It's a life-long endeavor.
It Works If You Work It. Keep Coming Back!!
Lights! Camera! Action!
From the very first step, recovery is a path of action. First, we have to get honest. Then we have to get real. We have to wake up. Snap out of it. Get on with the task of making things right.
It's a difficult journey sometimes. Your ass may even fall off a few times. Pick it back up, jump on the water wagon, and roll off into the wild blue yonder with all the other winners. You may not win an Oscar for your performances, but you can know in your heart you've just won the whole audience for the rest of your life.
You see, recovery is not a plan that is over and done with. It's a life-long endeavor.
It Works If You Work It. Keep Coming Back!!
Acceptance—-how important is it to our sobriety?
How does acceptance play into our sobriety and chances of recovery? Why is acceptance important? Below are some quotes from the first 164 pages of the Big Book that relate to acceptance and help to explain it's importance to our new life as recovering alcoholics. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this.
The steps propose a fundamental change in the way we live our lives and relate to the world. They require a complete abandonment of and turning away from the ideas and attitudes that have caused us to fail in life. They do not call for a minor modification of our behavior, but for the adoption of an entirely new way of life. If we are hesitant about embracing this new way of life, we can ask ourselves how the way we are living now is working for us.
When the authors use the term "most of us," they mean that it is very likely that we suffer from the same lack of willingness that they did. To help us diagnose our own alcoholism, they define it as being bodily and mentally different from our fellows. Though this is perhaps an unpleasant admission, we have to agree that in the light of our past experience this is true.
"Therefore" means we accept what has come before. Our unwillingness to admit our alcoholism leads us to try countless times to control our drinking. We become obsessed with the idea that this time our drinking will not get out of control, that we will enjoy our drinking as we did early in our drinking careers. Usually, if we control our drinking we do not enjoy it and if we drink enough to enjoy it, we lose control. The illusion that we have power over alcohol and that we can control it remains with us long after it is evident to everyone around us that we can not.
There are several ways we learn that we must admit powerlessness over alcohol. We learn by reading the book up to this point and by the example of the authors as well as millions of recovered alcoholics. Sometimes we learn by our own mistakes. Repeated failed attempts to control our drinking brings us to the point where we have to admit to ourselves that we are powerless over alcohol.
To fully concede is to admit that we are alcoholic. Any reservations we have must be set aside. This is not merely complying with the precepts of this program so as to avoid the negative results of drinking, but a complete and total surrender to the fact that we can not drink any alcohol at all and we never will be able to drink alcohol normally.
Who are we to admit our alcoholism to---our group, the police, our spouse? We are to make our admission to ourselves. No one else matters. We must speak to our hearts when making this admission.
These are the directions on how to take our first step. The author's promise was that they would show us precisely and specifically what they have done to recover and supply us with clear-cut directions. The directions are that we must admit we are, in fact, alcoholic and that we make this admission to ourselves. From the moment we make this admission, we can begin to recover.
Every word in the book up to this point has been to help smash our delusion. The third sentence of the book explains the authors hope that we can be convinced we are bodily and mentally different from our fellows by reading this book. If we are not convinced by these pages, we may have to continue in our current ways until our own experience allows us to see the truth of what the authors say.
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These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never known. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound. (quoted from Bill's Story) |
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Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentaly different than his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his liquor drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. (Quoted from More About Alcoholism) |
"Therefore" means we accept what has come before. Our unwillingness to admit our alcoholism leads us to try countless times to control our drinking. We become obsessed with the idea that this time our drinking will not get out of control, that we will enjoy our drinking as we did early in our drinking careers. Usually, if we control our drinking we do not enjoy it and if we drink enough to enjoy it, we lose control. The illusion that we have power over alcohol and that we can control it remains with us long after it is evident to everyone around us that we can not.
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We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholic. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. (quoted from More About Alcoholism) |
To fully concede is to admit that we are alcoholic. Any reservations we have must be set aside. This is not merely complying with the precepts of this program so as to avoid the negative results of drinking, but a complete and total surrender to the fact that we can not drink any alcohol at all and we never will be able to drink alcohol normally.
Who are we to admit our alcoholism to---our group, the police, our spouse? We are to make our admission to ourselves. No one else matters. We must speak to our hearts when making this admission.
These are the directions on how to take our first step. The author's promise was that they would show us precisely and specifically what they have done to recover and supply us with clear-cut directions. The directions are that we must admit we are, in fact, alcoholic and that we make this admission to ourselves. From the moment we make this admission, we can begin to recover.
Every word in the book up to this point has been to help smash our delusion. The third sentence of the book explains the authors hope that we can be convinced we are bodily and mentally different from our fellows by reading this book. If we are not convinced by these pages, we may have to continue in our current ways until our own experience allows us to see the truth of what the authors say.
TOPIC: NEWCOMERS. Your Story. 12 Steps & Promises To Come True.
Hi Im Sharon an Im an Alcoholic.
By the Grace of my HP an people
like you here in SR, I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely grateful.
How awesome it is that many of
the younger generation are noticing
they have problems with alcohol
or drugs and are reaching out for
help these days.
Shoots, when i was 18, haven just
moved out on my own, i partied, worked
and lived it up doing all the crazy things
young people do, however, never really
understanding the consequences that
followed my actions.
I figured I drank just like my grandfather
and could hold my liquor quite well.
Hmmmmm....years passed and after a horrible
accident in Feb 90 in which i ran off the road
at 2am hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top
the ground, it landing me in the hospital for
10 days with many broken ribs, contusions,
and a punctured spleen which was removed
so i would bleed to death.
A few months passed with no alcohol and
I healed almost perfectly........Come Aug. 10th
I stepped out once again to local club, right
back to the place i was before, to begin drinking
moderately then only a few hours later i was
home late trying to take my life.....
The progression of my disease was so rapid
that it still blows me away just thinking about it.
Family intervention took place and the police
came to take me away like a harden criminal
to rehab...... Aug. 11th was my very first day in
without alcohol and i continue to call it my
Sobriety birthday.
It was a 28 day stay there where i recieved
the tools and knowledge of my disease. The 12 steps
of recovery are my guidelines to live by one
day at a time without alcohol.
Today I can honestly say I have experienced
the joy of recieving the gifts of recovery mentioned
in our Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Some have come quickly and some very slowly.....
nevertheless i have recieved most of them.....
It wasnt until I became COMPLETELY HONEST...
the last of the 3.....openmindedness, willingness
and honesty that i experienced the NEW FREEDOM
that is mentioned in the book or what we so often
in meetings.
Today is no different for me like it was when i
first entered AA. Today is another sober day of many
one days at a time collected to get me where i am
today.
Happy Joyous and Free.
It's not as complicated as it seems to be...I
just take it one step at a time day by day sharing
ur own experiences, strengths and hopes with
another person in recovery like myself.
And that's the way it works if you work it.
Thanks for letting me share
By the Grace of my HP an people
like you here in SR, I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely grateful.
How awesome it is that many of
the younger generation are noticing
they have problems with alcohol
or drugs and are reaching out for
help these days.
Shoots, when i was 18, haven just
moved out on my own, i partied, worked
and lived it up doing all the crazy things
young people do, however, never really
understanding the consequences that
followed my actions.
I figured I drank just like my grandfather
and could hold my liquor quite well.
Hmmmmm....years passed and after a horrible
accident in Feb 90 in which i ran off the road
at 2am hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top
the ground, it landing me in the hospital for
10 days with many broken ribs, contusions,
and a punctured spleen which was removed
so i would bleed to death.
A few months passed with no alcohol and
I healed almost perfectly........Come Aug. 10th
I stepped out once again to local club, right
back to the place i was before, to begin drinking
moderately then only a few hours later i was
home late trying to take my life.....
The progression of my disease was so rapid
that it still blows me away just thinking about it.
Family intervention took place and the police
came to take me away like a harden criminal
to rehab...... Aug. 11th was my very first day in
without alcohol and i continue to call it my
Sobriety birthday.
It was a 28 day stay there where i recieved
the tools and knowledge of my disease. The 12 steps
of recovery are my guidelines to live by one
day at a time without alcohol.
Today I can honestly say I have experienced
the joy of recieving the gifts of recovery mentioned
in our Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Some have come quickly and some very slowly.....
nevertheless i have recieved most of them.....
It wasnt until I became COMPLETELY HONEST...
the last of the 3.....openmindedness, willingness
and honesty that i experienced the NEW FREEDOM
that is mentioned in the book or what we so often
in meetings.
Today is no different for me like it was when i
first entered AA. Today is another sober day of many
one days at a time collected to get me where i am
today.
Happy Joyous and Free.
It's not as complicated as it seems to be...I
just take it one step at a time day by day sharing
ur own experiences, strengths and hopes with
another person in recovery like myself.
And that's the way it works if you work it.
Thanks for letting me share
food stamps, drugs & booze
So I just responded to a thread about crazy neighbors in another forum, but it really got me thinking & pretty angry. My neighbors don't have much money & 2 young kids, but they always seem to find money for things they want. Here's a quick brief. Like I already mentioned 2 young kids, husband has kids from previous relationship so he pays child support. She smokes pot every day after dropping her kids off at school & I think again after she picks them up. She pays about $5/each for any pain pills she can get her hands on. She takes her son's afternoon Rydalyn pill, so she can get a buzz. She regularly drinks as well, so does her husband. They both smoke at least a pack a day, but then run out of money about a week before payday. And here's the kicker. They collect food stamps because they don't make enough money to get by. Please tell me how that works. I've recently started working at a grocery store where I had a customer who used her food stamp card to buy groceries & BEER, then at the last minute added a couple packs of cigarettes. I know the food stamp card doesn't cover liquor & cigarettes, but seriously where are these people's morals??? How is it that they can take advantage of our tax money?? If you need food stamps to survive, then you shouldn't be able to buy drugs, cigs & booze while your kids suffer. Oh, and my husband was at a gas station the other day when a couple walked in with 4 YOUNG CHILDREN while the parents used the welfare check to buy cigs & booze. The cashier was disgusted by it, but she said there's nothing she can do. They ARE ALLOWED to use the money for it. Please someone explain this to me!!!
