Archive for the ‘Local Pub’ tag
to all of you
Here we are again...christmas eve looking foward to 2009..
Its 2am and i cant sleep.....ive just finish with the winter flu....thank god.
Today will probably be like most christmas eves with my beautiful wife whom i seem to love more every year i stay sober.
We normally walk the dogs around midnight into christmas day....dont ask me why but its just lovely.
We live in the country so its beautiful......and our five dogs are our new kids.
Our two daughters have pretty much gone off on there own adventures..
christmas day and we are off to the local pub for dinner with the family and to see my precious little amelya (granddaughter).Along with a 100 other people so should be fun.
In the evening i will go off on my own with my old dog jake (rhodesian ridgeback) up to a sheltered sea front to pray.....as i always do....
To say thankyou...........for being there for me.......and for changing my life.
and for saving it.
And boxing day is chill day.
Three days and back to work.......hopefully i can keep my job....things are difficult in the uk.......like where you live i guess.
Thats three days of my life.......dont get me wrong.....i have hard times but the vast majority of my life is content...peaceful and happy.
Because sometime ago alot of alcoholics and addicts helped me to stay sober.
And still do help me to stay sober........i just cant do this on my own.
Whether your 1 hour or fifty years sober you contribute to keeping me sober by posting on here and from the bottom of my heart i thank all of you.
The power of one alcoholic/addict helping another is endless.
I can remember three christmas periods of my drinking that were perhaps the worst..
1...i spent in hospital on i.v for three weeks over christmas.
2...Spent 3 months in jail after caught asleep at the wheel being 5 times over the uk legal alcohol limit.
3..Another 2 months in jail for bar fight.....
And i manage to find someone else to blame for most of these incidents!!!!
Just for today............im not going back.......i prefer it here thanks.
Merry christmas to everyone and their familys on here........may 2009 bring you peace.............contentment and maybe a new beginning.
god be with you.........trucker
Its 2am and i cant sleep.....ive just finish with the winter flu....thank god.
Today will probably be like most christmas eves with my beautiful wife whom i seem to love more every year i stay sober.
We normally walk the dogs around midnight into christmas day....dont ask me why but its just lovely.
We live in the country so its beautiful......and our five dogs are our new kids.
Our two daughters have pretty much gone off on there own adventures..
christmas day and we are off to the local pub for dinner with the family and to see my precious little amelya (granddaughter).Along with a 100 other people so should be fun.
In the evening i will go off on my own with my old dog jake (rhodesian ridgeback) up to a sheltered sea front to pray.....as i always do....
To say thankyou...........for being there for me.......and for changing my life.
and for saving it.
And boxing day is chill day.
Three days and back to work.......hopefully i can keep my job....things are difficult in the uk.......like where you live i guess.
Thats three days of my life.......dont get me wrong.....i have hard times but the vast majority of my life is content...peaceful and happy.
Because sometime ago alot of alcoholics and addicts helped me to stay sober.
And still do help me to stay sober........i just cant do this on my own.
Whether your 1 hour or fifty years sober you contribute to keeping me sober by posting on here and from the bottom of my heart i thank all of you.
The power of one alcoholic/addict helping another is endless.
I can remember three christmas periods of my drinking that were perhaps the worst..
1...i spent in hospital on i.v for three weeks over christmas.
2...Spent 3 months in jail after caught asleep at the wheel being 5 times over the uk legal alcohol limit.
3..Another 2 months in jail for bar fight.....
And i manage to find someone else to blame for most of these incidents!!!!
Just for today............im not going back.......i prefer it here thanks.
Merry christmas to everyone and their familys on here........may 2009 bring you peace.............contentment and maybe a new beginning.
god be with you.........trucker
Doing so well…Until today
Hello All,
I posted last week explaining that my alcoholic partner had left me after a hard 5 years, we have a baby together and since his alcoholic Father has come into a lot of money (7 weeks ago now) he has stopped contacting me about mine and her wellbeing, left the family home, us, his car, his job and not turned up for several meetings with her (though I wanted to see him too) arranged through his Sister, when we have spoken he's told me several times that it's over, accept it and that he doesn't love me anymore, though this I am finding so very very difficult to accept because before his fathers Money he did really appear to love me and her and I really know that he did despite all the difficulties his lifestyle gave us.
You all gave me tremendous words of support and I had a great weekend with my family and friends really feling one step closer to finding normal again.
Anyhow, felt the need to write becasue today I feel dreadful. My best friend was out in our local pub and then on to a nightclub last night and he was out seemingly having the time of his life, she is very honest with me and simply said that he was drunk (obviously) but quite content and full of fun and didn't even ask her how either of us were (she was always a good family friend so I find this just plain odd).
I now feel a mix of things, 1. All the sadness and missing him has resurfaced and I just want to call his sisters phone to even be able to talk to him though I know he will just want me off the phone and I'll feel even worse at the end. 2.Jealousy I guess that others are still able to spend happy times with him but we are not as he finds it too problematic. 3. Anger, whilst he hasn't contributed a penny to her in 7 weeks - all my household bills are the same and I'm struggling and cold he is able to go to expensive nightclubs without even a thought.
So these are my questions if any of you can help again-
How do I get over all this again? And do you think he really, really doesn't love me so much he can't even bear to see me or speak to me and his baby daughter who he seemed to adore. Does any part of him miss me? and if it does would he even recognise it after 7 weeks of solid heavy drinking?
I know how I'm coming across and I know the answer, that I need to concentrate on me, which I was feeling I was doing but obviously that must have been false because I'm right back where I was 7 weeks ago today, I think the tablets for depression are working and it'd good not to have the angst of living with a drunk but the yearning and emptiness that his leaving has left behind today, feels worse than all of the disaster and chaos we had when he was there.
So sorry for bleating on again, but this has been a lifeline for me, you are all so wise and kind. x
I posted last week explaining that my alcoholic partner had left me after a hard 5 years, we have a baby together and since his alcoholic Father has come into a lot of money (7 weeks ago now) he has stopped contacting me about mine and her wellbeing, left the family home, us, his car, his job and not turned up for several meetings with her (though I wanted to see him too) arranged through his Sister, when we have spoken he's told me several times that it's over, accept it and that he doesn't love me anymore, though this I am finding so very very difficult to accept because before his fathers Money he did really appear to love me and her and I really know that he did despite all the difficulties his lifestyle gave us.
You all gave me tremendous words of support and I had a great weekend with my family and friends really feling one step closer to finding normal again.
Anyhow, felt the need to write becasue today I feel dreadful. My best friend was out in our local pub and then on to a nightclub last night and he was out seemingly having the time of his life, she is very honest with me and simply said that he was drunk (obviously) but quite content and full of fun and didn't even ask her how either of us were (she was always a good family friend so I find this just plain odd).
I now feel a mix of things, 1. All the sadness and missing him has resurfaced and I just want to call his sisters phone to even be able to talk to him though I know he will just want me off the phone and I'll feel even worse at the end. 2.Jealousy I guess that others are still able to spend happy times with him but we are not as he finds it too problematic. 3. Anger, whilst he hasn't contributed a penny to her in 7 weeks - all my household bills are the same and I'm struggling and cold he is able to go to expensive nightclubs without even a thought.
So these are my questions if any of you can help again-
How do I get over all this again? And do you think he really, really doesn't love me so much he can't even bear to see me or speak to me and his baby daughter who he seemed to adore. Does any part of him miss me? and if it does would he even recognise it after 7 weeks of solid heavy drinking?
I know how I'm coming across and I know the answer, that I need to concentrate on me, which I was feeling I was doing but obviously that must have been false because I'm right back where I was 7 weeks ago today, I think the tablets for depression are working and it'd good not to have the angst of living with a drunk but the yearning and emptiness that his leaving has left behind today, feels worse than all of the disaster and chaos we had when he was there.
So sorry for bleating on again, but this has been a lifeline for me, you are all so wise and kind. x
Maybe I’m not so bad after all …
It seems like any thread I might start is always about something bad ...
I am a musician. I play with some friends at a local pub on Wednesdays. We are the guys who try to pull the middle of the week drinkers in. It is a bit ironic really if you think about it. Anyway ...
My AW has always been very jealous of music. Even though that is one of things that attracted her. Something she would always say to me was that she didn't like thinking about all those girls hitting on me. My reply was that I didn't like her drinking why would I want any girls I could pick up in a bar in the middle of the week.
Of course she was always jealous anyway. Now, I want to say that I am a faithful husband. I wouldn't dream of cheating on my AW. As we are going through this divorce I still consider myself married until the judge says I am not and I act accordingly. That being said, there is this girl that I have known for about a year. She plays and has a really beautiful voice and I enjoy playing and singing with her. Not long after I met her she asked if I gave lesson on guitar and I said yes I did. My wife was not very happy and said no way. She is a young (13 years younger than me) attractive woman who seems very grounded and genuine.
Well, she has been coming on Wednesdays the last couple of weeks. She doesn't drink but comes out for the music. I was under the impression that all she was interested music. Well, I guess that that isn't all she is interested in.
You know how your self esteem goes down the toilet? When you feel like you are not good enough or not worth enough for someone. How you feel that no one will ever be attracted to me again. How will I function without this ONE person that knows me better than anyone .... blah blah blah
Now before some of you say "You don't need a relationship", believe me I know. I am not looking for one but boy did that feel good in the ego. I am going to give her music lessons (strictly professional) and I am sure we will have a good friendship.
I feel like my HP is guiding me.
My son had been going to a new church with a friend from school. A few weeks ago he came home afterward and said "Dad, I think you would like it, there is a lot of music. Will you go with me next week?"
I said sure i would and I did really like it. I saw people I knew and I liked the music. I even got a large lump in my throat and a tear in my eye at one point. Have you ever felt like you were just in the right place at the right time? That is how it felt. Amazing. The next week I felt differently about my circumstances. I felt like I could see a little clearer. I met the leader of the worship service and we had a lot in common and who knows maybe I will be playing there on Sunday mornings.
2 days ago I found out that my AW now has a "roommate" in the house that I am still paying for. It really bummed me out. I couldn't even come on here much. I was consumed by my grief. Could I really be replaced so easily? I stood by and and took all of her crap and then I am just the garbage at the curb?
Then my HP showed me that I have worth. My HP showed me that I have a lot to give. My HP showed me that I am a good guy and people like me. My HP showed me that I was replaced long ago by alcohol, I just couldn't see it. My HP showed me that I will be okay.
And by the way, I figure that if I am paying for this house my son and I should be living in it. I deserve to be comfortable.
Sorry for the long post. I was just feeling good!
I am a musician. I play with some friends at a local pub on Wednesdays. We are the guys who try to pull the middle of the week drinkers in. It is a bit ironic really if you think about it. Anyway ...
My AW has always been very jealous of music. Even though that is one of things that attracted her. Something she would always say to me was that she didn't like thinking about all those girls hitting on me. My reply was that I didn't like her drinking why would I want any girls I could pick up in a bar in the middle of the week.
Of course she was always jealous anyway. Now, I want to say that I am a faithful husband. I wouldn't dream of cheating on my AW. As we are going through this divorce I still consider myself married until the judge says I am not and I act accordingly. That being said, there is this girl that I have known for about a year. She plays and has a really beautiful voice and I enjoy playing and singing with her. Not long after I met her she asked if I gave lesson on guitar and I said yes I did. My wife was not very happy and said no way. She is a young (13 years younger than me) attractive woman who seems very grounded and genuine.
Well, she has been coming on Wednesdays the last couple of weeks. She doesn't drink but comes out for the music. I was under the impression that all she was interested music. Well, I guess that that isn't all she is interested in.
You know how your self esteem goes down the toilet? When you feel like you are not good enough or not worth enough for someone. How you feel that no one will ever be attracted to me again. How will I function without this ONE person that knows me better than anyone .... blah blah blah
Now before some of you say "You don't need a relationship", believe me I know. I am not looking for one but boy did that feel good in the ego. I am going to give her music lessons (strictly professional) and I am sure we will have a good friendship.
I feel like my HP is guiding me.
My son had been going to a new church with a friend from school. A few weeks ago he came home afterward and said "Dad, I think you would like it, there is a lot of music. Will you go with me next week?"
I said sure i would and I did really like it. I saw people I knew and I liked the music. I even got a large lump in my throat and a tear in my eye at one point. Have you ever felt like you were just in the right place at the right time? That is how it felt. Amazing. The next week I felt differently about my circumstances. I felt like I could see a little clearer. I met the leader of the worship service and we had a lot in common and who knows maybe I will be playing there on Sunday mornings.
2 days ago I found out that my AW now has a "roommate" in the house that I am still paying for. It really bummed me out. I couldn't even come on here much. I was consumed by my grief. Could I really be replaced so easily? I stood by and and took all of her crap and then I am just the garbage at the curb?
Then my HP showed me that I have worth. My HP showed me that I have a lot to give. My HP showed me that I am a good guy and people like me. My HP showed me that I was replaced long ago by alcohol, I just couldn't see it. My HP showed me that I will be okay.
And by the way, I figure that if I am paying for this house my son and I should be living in it. I deserve to be comfortable.
Sorry for the long post. I was just feeling good!
