Drug Rehab Options Blog

Hi, I am a well settled professional with a decent earning, a well settled life, a house, a lovely and amazingly loving wife and a daughter.

I don't like to call myself and alcoholic but I dont miss a chance to steal a drink behind my wife's back every time I can. My wife trusts me so much that initially she caught me hiding a bottle here and there, and she believed the useless excuses that I gave her. But when this kept on happening, she realized that I was fooling her and she felt so hurt that she couldnt stop crying for hours on end.

I know that alcohol is bad for me. But seeing my wife in this condition is why I want to quit drinking altogether. I just cannot breach her trust anymore. This has been going on for a while now and I think I have pushed her trust too close to the edge. Please please help me quit. I just don't want to quit drinking on weekends, I want to stop this forever.

I have become dependent on alcohol because I was a loner before I started drinking and I think I have become really friendly and social after I started drinking. I have started associating alcohol with having a good time. For me, going out means drinking.

-Thanks

I have my birthday coming up and just wanted a dinner with my mother and sister. I don't have time with all of us together very often and its often a tradition on birthdays we have family dinners. My sister has made it known that if i do "it would be courteous to invite her partner".

I find myself feeling put out, feeling like she's selfishly imposing on MY special day and questioning if its even worth it because my sister is sensitive and not in recovery as far as i know. not becos i dont like her partner, shes a lovely lady but i dont know her as deeply as my family whom i love and whom i share a deep history.

. I see it as my mother sister and I having been through a lot growing up and just want it to be us three sharing a meal. thanks to recovery i just like to be near them and listen to them, i no longer expect some dream but i do like it when theres noone but us three. I believe that my sister has this complex that I still dont like her partner, maybe shes not comfortable with "us three".

her wanting to bring her partner makes me feel like she needs to bring entertainment/support to endure being with mum and me...i know when i was a teenager i was envious and sad that she had friends and boyfriends when i was single and a loner lost in my depressive moods.

years later as adults she still , even after amends and telling her many times i do accept that her partner is family to me, that im happy if shes happy, she seems to keep bringing up the whole "why wont utopia accept my partner" drama. :wtf2 let it go woman!! i dont hate your partner!!

mum understands from both points of view. mother and i have no partners but even if i did i would still want it to be just us three...i dont understand her and my sister doesnt understand me!!!

question>>>what ways can i communicate this as my sister is so quick to take offense which triggers my built up irritation at having to walk on eggshells about stating my needs to her. i wouldnt care any other occasion except that its my birthday and the only day i feel that i have the place to ask for who and what we do for a dinner out or at home or at least who comes to my bday, is this childish i wonder?. i feel now that if i dont invite her partner shes going to be stroppy and the dinner is pointless.

but i also feel that my sister should consider that for once this is not about her and that i dont care either way about her partner but i guess in a family shredded by alcoholism im living in a reality that is not possible. can we ever hope for anything?

views?

I have been really frustrating myself my whole life.
I am not proud of what I am about to write, at all. But I am just looking for some insight, some thoughts, some hope. Help.

I have this lurking almost unconscious distrust, or murmuring paranoia about other people. In almost every encounter, in my whole damn life, the first emotion is sort of like this:
'they think they are better; they know they are better; they want to prove it by humiliating and exposing me; and I have to think hard to figure out how to avoid it or make myself feel superior to them; back away and protect yourself, say something that will make them back off or make them realize you know what bad things they are thinking; lie to make them think that you are not as bad as they think you are.'

When I work on anything that requires thought (academic papers, grading, business reports) the similar emotions constantly bubble up:
'This will not go well; they will see that you are failing in your work, they will expose you, talk about you with everyone you know; if you make any mistakes and you will you will be exposed and talked about as a huge fool and charlatan and worthy only of shame.'

As a result it takes me forever to finish anything, and usually at the last minute, as I must wade through these emotions. I drag my feet at work and in relationships.

And I have the same cursed feelings about all of you here on SR!!!!!

This demon has been around as long as I remember. I hate to think that anyone else has such morbid, obsessive, and self-centered thoughts. It has ruined numerous relationships, made me a loner, and resulted in numerous poor job performance reviews (mostly that I move too slowly and am passive-aggressive to supervisors).

I am managing, with a job and home. I have casual contact with many, but nothing intimate, close, or trusting. And I am not, as always, not intimate with my work.

I am pretty sure this is fairly characteristic of adult children. But does it have to be so damn intense and persistent?

I am in therapy and taking an ADD/anxiety medication. Maybe I am now just more aware of this problem, and that is the first step to healing my head.

It just angers me that I am going to spend yet another late night of grading and planning and it just doesn't seem to get any easier.

I am 25 and have been sober for almost 3 years now... the problem is I can't seem to get into society socially. I have a few AA friends I like, but the ones I still see seem to have the same problem. We get out in work/school and try and join clubs or sports, but as soon as people find out we're sober they don't want anything to do with us. I'm not really into church people, but it seems like that's the only option. I was a loner before I found drugs and alcohol, by the end I was alone again, and now I'm sober and still a loner (but with a couple relatively close sober friends). Drinking is no longer an option for me, but it definitely feels like a double bind. I am in my last year of university, and I hate it. It's very lonely there being sober, and it's like you're a ghost or invisible. All the clubs and organizations rely on beer nights and pub crawls, and it seems like whenever I meet someone at school our friendship or relationship ends when they realize I am sober and I realize that they like to party every friday/saturday night. I have all but given up on making any real friends at school... the alcohol/party culture is just too powerful here. If I can just get out sober and with a degree it will feel like victory enough, though I am scared it will be just as bad once I'm working. My city is not that big (<250K people), and we are a redneck city... all most people know here is getting smashed. I plan on leaving as soon as a graduate later this year, that's how much I hate my life here. I know there's no quick fix, but if anyone has useful advice I would appreciate it.

Wondering if anyone else suffers from social anxiety. For the past year and a half, I have been in semi-retirement and been basically self-employed. As a result of that I do not have to go out to work and can work from my office at my house.
It seems when I do go out I do not enjoy large crowds or the majority of people. This is magnified by social settings where people are drinking.
I have become somewhat of a loner and shun hanging out with certain groups of people.

Today marks two weeks of sobriety for me. For the past year, I've been trying to quit drinking. I'll stop for a few weeks, then I'll start rationalizing about how I can have one drink. Then I'll be on a week long binge. I've started taking antabuse although I wish I were strong enough to go without it. Sometimes I struggle just to take the pill, knowing that I won't be able to drink. I know that the drug stays in your system for several days to weeks, so I'm not in danger of the side effects of drinking while on antabuse.

I feel like such a loser right now. None of my friends know that I'm an alcoholic. I'm quite the closet drinker. I've always been a bit of a loner, so it's been easy to hide my drinking. Now that I'm trying to put my life back together, I've completely cut myself off from my friends. In the past, I've given in to drinking because I'm scared to admit to anyone that I'm an alcoholic. My friends don't know what's going on. I know they would be so supportive if I told them, but I have such issues with feeling ashamed about myself and I'm not sure I could handle having one of my worst secrets out there for the world to see.

I've only been to aa once, and I think I'm going to go tomorrow. I need some social support. I feel like a complete hermit!!