Archive for the ‘Long Time’ tag
Problems….
I quit drinking just after Christmas. CHristmas was a big drinking day
Boxing day I had 6 whiskeys
27th - I had 4 whiskeys
28th I had 2 whiskeys
Then I stopped
So far I've been going pretty well. Christmas day is 2 weeks tomorrow so I am getting close to my longest ever stint without alcohol (well since I started anyway).
I've been sleeping fine. In fact - I am sleeping full nights and still struggling to wake up in the morning. While I was on leave I was sleeping up to 14 hours a day. Now that I have work again this is causing me problems. I can't get enough sleep.
I am also *so* depressed. I already take antisdepressants and have for 5.5 years. Is this depression normal? It's so serious it is preventing me from working - which is in turn adding to my stress levels as things get behind.
What do people normally do in this situation? Does this last a long time or a short time?
Boxing day I had 6 whiskeys
27th - I had 4 whiskeys
28th I had 2 whiskeys
Then I stopped
So far I've been going pretty well. Christmas day is 2 weeks tomorrow so I am getting close to my longest ever stint without alcohol (well since I started anyway).
I've been sleeping fine. In fact - I am sleeping full nights and still struggling to wake up in the morning. While I was on leave I was sleeping up to 14 hours a day. Now that I have work again this is causing me problems. I can't get enough sleep.
I am also *so* depressed. I already take antisdepressants and have for 5.5 years. Is this depression normal? It's so serious it is preventing me from working - which is in turn adding to my stress levels as things get behind.
What do people normally do in this situation? Does this last a long time or a short time?
Mind over matter
That is how I?ve felt for a long time; it's how I?ve approached many opportunities in my life. I guess its a form of positive thinking or arrogance I?m not sure, my only other belief is too avoid extremes at all costs it always leaves too few answers. 3 months ago I decided to stop drinking for good, I have always had trouble sleeping and the first 2 weeks where hell in that respect. After that though things fell back into place pretty easily sleep came fast and was satisfying, especially with not having to worry about how bad my hangover would be the next day. As of late though I have been coming home from work and sleeping for 2-3 hours then waking to make dinner and watch TV, the first couple times I thought it was normal as I do lead a more active life now than ever before but it seems to be getting worse. I guess my question is when do the affects of a decade of alcoholism wear off; I expected some physical effects initially but 3 months in. I know the mental aspect will take patience and time to overcome but how long will my physical withdrawal symptoms last?
Up Date
Hey ya'll I have to be brief the computer I am on right now does not work very well. But I thought you might like to know I am separated from my H and staying with my mom.
I am warm and safe but still uncomfortable enough to get on with making the changes I need to make.
I am so done.
My family thinks I will go back to H. I must prove them wrong. I have told H that I want him gone. He says he is going to have a moving sale next weekend. I am going to stay out of his way. He has nothing to say I think he knows it is over. I want the THIS TRANSITION to have as little drama as possible.
My son and brothers want to go force him out now. I feel it could cause trouble and I want to just give him a little time to move on without any force. Thanks for being my friends and for your suppport. This change has been a very long time in coming...
I am warm and safe but still uncomfortable enough to get on with making the changes I need to make.
I am so done.
My family thinks I will go back to H. I must prove them wrong. I have told H that I want him gone. He says he is going to have a moving sale next weekend. I am going to stay out of his way. He has nothing to say I think he knows it is over. I want the THIS TRANSITION to have as little drama as possible.
My son and brothers want to go force him out now. I feel it could cause trouble and I want to just give him a little time to move on without any force. Thanks for being my friends and for your suppport. This change has been a very long time in coming...
Hi to all!! Back with son’s addiction
Hi everybody! I've thought about you all often and it's good to know that this awesome forum is still going and offering help/advice/support to those that need it.
When I first came on here in 2004, it was my xabf and a year of turmoil there. But, through Al Anon and all of you, that relationship ended a long time ago.
It's my son who will be 30yrs old this year...that has the drinking addiction. He got two DUI's back-to-back in 2007 and needed a lawyer. The laws have gotten alot stricter here in CO, as they should be.
I retained a lawyer for him and my as (alcoholic son) just did in house arrest for the month of Dec. for the one DUI and now he's in jail today for a bit for the 2nd one.
The whole time he was on house arrest, he was still drinking. I'd go visit him and see him on the holidays and he was still using. So, house arrest didn't do much for him because he was still "running' while on it.
In jail, he'll have to be sober and also his PO will be taking random breathilizers and putting a device on his vehicle to blow into before driving.
He has HUNDREDS of community service, fines and classes. He has no job, he's gotten fired from each one. He's homeless because everywhere he lived, he didn't pay rent.
On house arrest, he stayed with his Dad and during that time stold his Dad's credit cards and booked flights for his gf's and other things...ran up thousands of $ on his dad's cards. It just seems like his addiction is getting worse and worse, he lies constantly. He's very sensitive to talk to...if one thing is said that he doesn't like...he jumps on you verbally.
He's just filled with pain...his uncle/best friend, died of a cocaine accidental overdose on Christmas 2005 and my son knew his uncle did some drugs, but not to the extent that he was. My AS was the last person with his uncle the night before he died and so my AS has been feeling guilty ever since. He constantly runs and needs people's acceptance.
My fear is for when he gets out of jail....where will he go? What will he do? Will he finally see after years and years of drinking that it's JUST NOT WORTH IT?
I'm scared for him because of the fact that he continues to keep the cycle going.
I ask for your prayers for him...this is gonna take alot to get him to FINALLY hit that bottom and want back up.
Thank you and I hope all of your holidays were blessed!:praying
When I first came on here in 2004, it was my xabf and a year of turmoil there. But, through Al Anon and all of you, that relationship ended a long time ago.
It's my son who will be 30yrs old this year...that has the drinking addiction. He got two DUI's back-to-back in 2007 and needed a lawyer. The laws have gotten alot stricter here in CO, as they should be.
I retained a lawyer for him and my as (alcoholic son) just did in house arrest for the month of Dec. for the one DUI and now he's in jail today for a bit for the 2nd one.
The whole time he was on house arrest, he was still drinking. I'd go visit him and see him on the holidays and he was still using. So, house arrest didn't do much for him because he was still "running' while on it.
In jail, he'll have to be sober and also his PO will be taking random breathilizers and putting a device on his vehicle to blow into before driving.
He has HUNDREDS of community service, fines and classes. He has no job, he's gotten fired from each one. He's homeless because everywhere he lived, he didn't pay rent.
On house arrest, he stayed with his Dad and during that time stold his Dad's credit cards and booked flights for his gf's and other things...ran up thousands of $ on his dad's cards. It just seems like his addiction is getting worse and worse, he lies constantly. He's very sensitive to talk to...if one thing is said that he doesn't like...he jumps on you verbally.
He's just filled with pain...his uncle/best friend, died of a cocaine accidental overdose on Christmas 2005 and my son knew his uncle did some drugs, but not to the extent that he was. My AS was the last person with his uncle the night before he died and so my AS has been feeling guilty ever since. He constantly runs and needs people's acceptance.
My fear is for when he gets out of jail....where will he go? What will he do? Will he finally see after years and years of drinking that it's JUST NOT WORTH IT?
I'm scared for him because of the fact that he continues to keep the cycle going.
I ask for your prayers for him...this is gonna take alot to get him to FINALLY hit that bottom and want back up.
Thank you and I hope all of your holidays were blessed!:praying
Fair to Family
Hello All,
I am still new to recovery that is for sure about 70 days now. This has been my first holiday season sober for a very long time. I do have some concerns about fairness. My fiance and I spent News Years at home and were asleep before midnight. I am new to this and not sure of all boundaries as of yet. I am a little worried that this lifestyle I am adapting too is a large price for my non-alcoholic fiance to have to pay. In the past we had gone to parties and such and spent time with people. We have discussed that those activities were seldom fun for her then as I was drunk all the time. We also have a one year old little girl in our lives, whom is wonderful. All of these changes are good ones I believe. I felt our NYE was wonderful, we were together as a family and woke up early this AM felt good and just went about our day. Maybe these types of concerns lessen over time as my sobriety time increases and my recovery grows. Not sure if anyone else has felt this way, but I would love some feedback.
Happy 2009
Love,
JT
I am still new to recovery that is for sure about 70 days now. This has been my first holiday season sober for a very long time. I do have some concerns about fairness. My fiance and I spent News Years at home and were asleep before midnight. I am new to this and not sure of all boundaries as of yet. I am a little worried that this lifestyle I am adapting too is a large price for my non-alcoholic fiance to have to pay. In the past we had gone to parties and such and spent time with people. We have discussed that those activities were seldom fun for her then as I was drunk all the time. We also have a one year old little girl in our lives, whom is wonderful. All of these changes are good ones I believe. I felt our NYE was wonderful, we were together as a family and woke up early this AM felt good and just went about our day. Maybe these types of concerns lessen over time as my sobriety time increases and my recovery grows. Not sure if anyone else has felt this way, but I would love some feedback.
Happy 2009
Love,
JT
Hi
Today is my first day of being sober in a long time. No its not a New Years resolution, I'm tired of shakes, blackouts and not being me. My poison is vodka. Any support is so appreciated.
Peace and Love to you all.:nyaf:nyaf
Peace and Love to you all.:nyaf:nyaf
Help
I am an alcoholic and have been for a long time. I only quit when I was pregnant and nursing my daughter. Since then, things have obviously gotten progressively worse. I went to an in-patient treatment program to detox and am now an out-patient. But I am still drinking. I NEED to stop. I'm struggling so much. Please help. I don't want to spend one more night without my daughter. My husband worries me because he doesn't support me at all. He doesn't understand it's not all that easy just to "put the glass down". I feel like I'm going crazy and very alone.
Anyway, thanks for listening (reading). Any advice is appreciated.
Brobo
Anyway, thanks for listening (reading). Any advice is appreciated.
Brobo
Christmas is finally over!
I'm sorry if this sounds scrooge-like, but I have been dreading this day since my son went to jail 7 weeks ago. He has one more week and that's what we are all hanging on to. I think it has done him some good. He seems more level-headed and optimistic than I've seen him in a long time. I know that it could all fall apart as soon as he gets out. But that's been pretty much the case all along...whatever he chooses will be up to him.
I had a meltdown yesterday, but then got busy cleaning and baking. I made so much dessert for our family meal today that we barely scraped the surface of it. I think I'll freeze the cookies and pull them out on New Year's day. It's amazing what nervous energy will create.
I've been working the steps, actually I've been stuck on Step 1 and the whole issue of control. I can't believe how much of a control freak I am. I want to control what my sons' father gave them for Xmas. I want to control how my boyfriend drives and what route he takes. I want to control my mother and how demanding she is. It's just become so evident to me all the sudden, like a light bulb just came on to this problem in me. I mean, I always knew that I like to control things such as my kids. But I had no idea it is so pervasive in me! It feels like I must admit to the fact that I'm powerless to control about 30 times a day. I have been trying to catch myself from blurting my "controllisms", and just chanting quietly to myself, "it's not your to do, or worry about, or make better." Yeah, I know. People may start looking at me in a funny way, partially because they're so use to me trying to control them or maybe it's because I'm talking to myself! Whatever, it takes a lot of control of myself not to control others!
Anyway, Christmas is over, we made it through this one, and life will go on. (unless I can find a way to control it!) Merry Christmas friends!
krhea
I had a meltdown yesterday, but then got busy cleaning and baking. I made so much dessert for our family meal today that we barely scraped the surface of it. I think I'll freeze the cookies and pull them out on New Year's day. It's amazing what nervous energy will create.
I've been working the steps, actually I've been stuck on Step 1 and the whole issue of control. I can't believe how much of a control freak I am. I want to control what my sons' father gave them for Xmas. I want to control how my boyfriend drives and what route he takes. I want to control my mother and how demanding she is. It's just become so evident to me all the sudden, like a light bulb just came on to this problem in me. I mean, I always knew that I like to control things such as my kids. But I had no idea it is so pervasive in me! It feels like I must admit to the fact that I'm powerless to control about 30 times a day. I have been trying to catch myself from blurting my "controllisms", and just chanting quietly to myself, "it's not your to do, or worry about, or make better." Yeah, I know. People may start looking at me in a funny way, partially because they're so use to me trying to control them or maybe it's because I'm talking to myself! Whatever, it takes a lot of control of myself not to control others!
Anyway, Christmas is over, we made it through this one, and life will go on. (unless I can find a way to control it!) Merry Christmas friends!
krhea
I almost gave up last night
I have had one hell of a few days here.
Not only with my job..My relapsing..my grams..My complete disregard for anothers flaws. And the way I handled it.
I was a complete jerk.
I should be the who understands the most. I should have done as she has always done me. Be there. Not critisise and judge.
She has never once turned her back on me. She has never once judged me or put me down.
I did that. ANd she still forgives me.
She is unconditional. I was not.
I cried all night last night. I felt so hopeless and sad and shamed.
I was plotting my next relapse Monday.
I just didnt care.
I was grinding my weels to leave and go backm to Florida as soon as I could go. Thats the worst move I could ever make. I would die down there. I would smoke myself right into the grave.
But today...I dont know what happened. I was sick all day. I was in so much pain I couldnt move. My stomach was just killing me in every way possible. I slept all day long. I tried going up to my aunts to eat. I couldnt even sit up long enough to do anything. I ate a little antipasto. And that killed me more. So I came back home and went back to sleep.
I didnt even open my presents. I didnt have any money to buy anyone anything. But yet my grams and my aunt always do for me.
My aunbt even had to buy my secret santa present because of what happened with my grams.
None of that mattered to them.
I woke up again about 7pm and called my aunt to see if the garbage was going to come tomorrow since today is out sual day. She made me come up and play rock band and try and eat soemthing since I was feeling a little better.
I looked at my cousins pics she posted on her myspace from today.
I looked and I stared at those pictures for a long time.
Why would I want to give up?
Look at what a wonderful family I have.
Sure we have our flaws. But we are ALWAYS there for each other. At least they are..Me..Not always.
I have alot of work to do on myself. Not just the drugs. I have alot of work to do on who I am and who I want to be.
I really lost everything I gained in those 2 screwups.
Or maybe I never made any progress at all.
I really do forget gratitude alot. And humility right along with it.
I always say that peoples true colors come out when you are most in need.
I guess I showed mine the past few days.
I am not going to beat myself up over it. I am ashamed that I let my grams down and myself as well.
But all I can do is move on and do a whole lot of work on me. Me as a person. I really stepped back and took a real good look at myself. The drugs are really a very small part in my flaws.
Anyway..Just needed to vent some.
Hope everyone had a nice day. Mine turned out quite clear for me.
Not only with my job..My relapsing..my grams..My complete disregard for anothers flaws. And the way I handled it.
I was a complete jerk.
I should be the who understands the most. I should have done as she has always done me. Be there. Not critisise and judge.
She has never once turned her back on me. She has never once judged me or put me down.
I did that. ANd she still forgives me.
She is unconditional. I was not.
I cried all night last night. I felt so hopeless and sad and shamed.
I was plotting my next relapse Monday.
I just didnt care.
I was grinding my weels to leave and go backm to Florida as soon as I could go. Thats the worst move I could ever make. I would die down there. I would smoke myself right into the grave.
But today...I dont know what happened. I was sick all day. I was in so much pain I couldnt move. My stomach was just killing me in every way possible. I slept all day long. I tried going up to my aunts to eat. I couldnt even sit up long enough to do anything. I ate a little antipasto. And that killed me more. So I came back home and went back to sleep.
I didnt even open my presents. I didnt have any money to buy anyone anything. But yet my grams and my aunt always do for me.
My aunbt even had to buy my secret santa present because of what happened with my grams.
None of that mattered to them.
I woke up again about 7pm and called my aunt to see if the garbage was going to come tomorrow since today is out sual day. She made me come up and play rock band and try and eat soemthing since I was feeling a little better.
I looked at my cousins pics she posted on her myspace from today.
I looked and I stared at those pictures for a long time.
Why would I want to give up?
Look at what a wonderful family I have.
Sure we have our flaws. But we are ALWAYS there for each other. At least they are..Me..Not always.
I have alot of work to do on myself. Not just the drugs. I have alot of work to do on who I am and who I want to be.
I really lost everything I gained in those 2 screwups.
Or maybe I never made any progress at all.
I really do forget gratitude alot. And humility right along with it.
I always say that peoples true colors come out when you are most in need.
I guess I showed mine the past few days.
I am not going to beat myself up over it. I am ashamed that I let my grams down and myself as well.
But all I can do is move on and do a whole lot of work on me. Me as a person. I really stepped back and took a real good look at myself. The drugs are really a very small part in my flaws.
Anyway..Just needed to vent some.
Hope everyone had a nice day. Mine turned out quite clear for me.
Heavy drinker here
Hello
I blacked out again last night and I sit here with a bad headache which lead me to discovering this forum.
I drink beer every night until I'm drunk. Insomnia seemed to be a big reason for why I do it because when I don't drink it takes me a very long time to fall asleep.
I'm not even 21 and I need to stop drinking right away. It's killing me.
I feel completely helpless.
I blacked out again last night and I sit here with a bad headache which lead me to discovering this forum.
I drink beer every night until I'm drunk. Insomnia seemed to be a big reason for why I do it because when I don't drink it takes me a very long time to fall asleep.
I'm not even 21 and I need to stop drinking right away. It's killing me.
I feel completely helpless.
