Drug Rehab Options Blog

I was told in the chat rooms that I should share this little tidbit. I just got done telling my parents that I was an addict. I told all the close members of my family.

I took my last pain pill on Saturday at 4pm.. I went through withdrawals and tried to hide it from my parents. I told them I was sick with the flu. It was a lie the entire time and I felt terrible about it. Lies build on more lies. I figured I could just detox myself and then hide the fact that I was seeking help and eventually going to meetings. What was I gonna tell them? I'm going bowling?

So just a few minutes ago my entire family was together discussing whatever is going on in our lives right now..and I came clean with them. 5 days ago I came to this site with no knowledge of my addiction. But as I was detoxing I was getting information from people and reading the Big Book online and getting informed and educated about my disease.

My mother looked to me and said.. "You're not an addict"... "What are you talking about?" Then I laid out the facts to her which made this whole thing a lot easier. They didn't look at me like I was some kind of loser.. When i was
bombarding them with fact after fact. And then suddenly.. they accepted it. And it felt so good because it was the first time I was being honest with them.. The first time I was being true.. and it felt great because I had the facts to back them up.

I told them I was about to start actively seeking help and going to meetings.. going to get a sponsor and take the 12 steps. And I saw for the first time in my life some actual appreciation, love and noticed that I was taking control of my life. They knew I had issues.. but didn't know what was the bottom line that was causing the problems.. My social anxiety.. My depression.. and my seclusion. I would spend hours and hours in my room playing WOW (World of Warcraft) and never spent time with my family. I believe now that all my previous problems were cause by me being an addict.

If any of you have any doubts that you should share this with your family.. YOU MUST. You must come clean with them. You will feel a whole lot better about it and it will give you strength to take the next step. Trust me.

I hope this helps.



:ghug

Hello everyone, It's me again! I'm taking a break from my emotional roller coaster right now. So I thought I would write.
This is my new scenario:
Husband wants to reconcile. He's going to AA meetings, I didn't think he was working the program but he is.
He's been sober 6 months. Before that it was 2 1/2 years.
I asked him to leave, turned around and asked him to come home 38 days later, the very next day asked him to leave again.
He still wants to reconcile. I'm torn.....again.
I love him, feel he is sincere about his recovery and really want my husband back.
My family thinks he is a loser and thinks I can do so much better. His family is hoping and praying we work it out. Encouraging him every step of the way to go to AA and stay sober.
So, now it feels like it doesn't even matter what is important to me. Now my family is controlling me.
I would take him back in a minute but my mom, dad, sister and even my kids (from previous marriage ages 23 & 14) They say they will disown me if I get back together with him.
What do I do now?:a108:

This post is sort of a spin-off of one I read last night written by someone who had been cut off by her best friend. This is about my "best friend" and I's relationship, the title will make more sense later. I just need to get this out, it will be the first time I have ever really spoken wholeheartedly about this situation.


My "best friend" and I have known each other since we were ten (22 years). And I've never fully related to her. She comes from an upper middle class 'normal' family and always had some kind of support whereas I come from a highly dysfunctional problematic one. She has alot of friends, a very free spirited life and I guess you could call her a "Trustafarian" (a term meaning someone who lives likes a hippie but has lots of money).
She's very feminist, into astrology and new-agey stuff whereas I am alot more pragmatic. She has no difficulty in finding a guy, and has had many very dysfunctional short-lived flings with men who are much older than her where I have had very few with men who were just as crazy but in different ways, yet she feels the men she's been with are superior of the "loser's" I've been with.
There was a time in our early twenties that she was behaving very stalker-ish and lashing out at men she was involved alot with which I thought was very unhealthy, but I think because I thought that she was always the "right" one, then I guess I could do it too. I picked up alot of this behavior and learned alot of tricks on stalking guys from her. In know way am I trying to blame her for my behavior, but I feel in many ways she has taught me to "embrace pain".

Our relationship has always been like a therapist to patient; I am the one always coming to her with my problems where she is the one "in control" and "together".
A few years ago she started doing some very strange things towards me; hooking up with my guy friends who I liked, acting very competitive and telling her friends and family *very* personal stuff about me and painting this picture of me to them that I was this alcoholic floozy/basket-case. In other words, she did every thing she could to be (or at least act) superior of me. One thing about her also, is that she has never had any other long-lasting close relationships with other women.

We had some major falling out's over this and it always ended up with her not seeing my view at all or apologizing, but gets extremely defensive and shouting at me and then profusely drowning me with "I love you, your my best friend". I have never been one to be very affectionate to the same sex, and there is something that feels very disingenuous and phony about saying that, especially when it comes from her.

She was just in town over the holidays and I did spend some time with her a couple of times but there was this unmistakable tension between us and it was especially awkward because it was around her family and not just the two of us like it usually is. She left without saying goodbye to me.
I could tell that we are drifting apart, but there was something really slap-in-the-face about that one. Then tonight I get a random text message from her saying, quite non-chalantly, that she's having alot of fun tonight in another town that she's passing through on her way home.

All I can say is, is that I feel very USED and I feel that she has been on this power-trip over me for the larger portion of our lives. I don't feel like I can continue to "play along" with her and act like nothing happened. Though everytime I tell her how I feel, she covers it up with this "I love you" band-aid and nothing really gets resolved or changes.

I feel it's really necessary for me to cut her off for once and for all, and start a new chapter in my life. I'm just not sure how to go about it. I've never been good at "absolutes", or maintaining the changes I've imposed on my life.

Alcoholism as also thrown a wrench in this as well; I'm not sure if she's really an alcoholic (she drinks often and sometimes to excess but doesn't black-out and knows when to stop) but her life is pretty much centered around alcohol and drinking-culture. Now it has added something new to our "Can't do together" list and a couple of times I feel she has kind of shoved that reality into my face; she has called me drunk, called me from bars, drank in front of me knowing full well how it made me feel and acts very condescending and treats me like a kid whose at a party their parents are having.

Has anyone ever been in this situation?

Thanks,

LD

Long before she was arrested. My sister abandoned her kids 10 years ago, by choosing to party instead of parent.

She finished nursing school and set off to work her first hospital as a certified RN. We were all so proud of her. Always making bad choices in men, friends, finances, etc. her life had always been unstable. Married to a guy who can't keep a job to save his life, and could care less to have to work anyway. Regardless of the 3 kids or his wife who was going to school to beat a new path of stability for her family.
Move ahead 7 years. . . Fired from her 5th job as a nurse because of drug tests coming back "dirty". Here we go again, borrowing money to pay her bills late, getting evicted from their 7th place, 4 cars repossessed, 2 bank accounts closed, kids video games and bikes coming up missing, moving back in with my parents (yes, the whole family of 5 for the 3rd time), stealing food and anything "pawnable" from my house and my parents house, and the list goes on.

Hiding her track marks with an ace bandage and the excuse of pulling a ligament in her arm while moving a patient from one bed to another. Picking her face to shreds and losing 45 lbs in less than 4 months. Coming over to my house to "borrow" gas money and cigarette money from my 16 year old son. Making my father scrape together change to give her, so she could buy milk for the baby. All the while the loser husband sits at home and sucks up the AC and lays down the law.
Now here we are, she finally gets busted. Stolen prescription pads from various doctors offices, filling them out and "cashing them in". 3 Walgreens in less than 2 hours. BUSTED! Cops handcuff her and arrest her for 3 counts of drug trafficking. Oxycotin. Same thing she had been shooting in her arm for the past year. $50,000.00 Bond. My entire family is tapped out with helping her financially, mentally, and emotionally.

Oh yeah, let's not forget the 3 children laying eyes to it all. Thank God not the Walgreens incident. They were at the house waiting on her to bring back lunch. 4 hours later, the 17 year old figures out that something is very wrong.
My dad has to go pick up his truck, as he had loaned it to her so she could get to work and get the kids to school ( her car was repo'ed AGAIN).

I now have the 3 kids, along with my 2. Who would have thought at the age of 36 I would have 5 children. 17, 17, 11, 4 and 4. I love them with all of my heart and soul. I feel for these kids every day. I die inside when the little one asks where Mommy is, when the 11 year old falls apart and can't even speak, and the 17 year old laughs and calls himself a nomad because he is numb to it all (on the surface).

This is their safe place. It's always been a real home to them. My husband works 7 days a week now to pay for the extra groceries, lunch money, field trips, weekend fun, school clothes and supplies, etc. With the economy the way it is. . .well, I just don't know. I am honestly scared of disappointing these kids. I was laid off from my job, and now pick up gigs here and there so I can be home for them.

All my sister cares about is getting out. "When am I getting out of here, I don't want to be here. Why can't my family who is supposed to love me get the bail money together?" She is in the best place right now. For all of us.
I am angry, sad, worried, stressed, exhausted,and strangely, seeing the kids happy and knowing they do not have to see their mom stick needles in her arms anymore, relieved. Now we have to deal with the loser dead-beat dad trying to lay down his laws while we raise his kids. I am tempted to call the cops and let them go get him for the warrant he has out for his arrest. People tell me that could be a horrible thing to have to explain to the girls. So, add one more to my list of emotions. . . confused.

I just want them to be free of all the pain and let down that their lives have been consumed with. We want to give them back what was taken from them. Trust. So, where do I go from here?:praying

Hi I am new and relapsed after approx 20 yrs of recovery.

I was bulimarexic before I got married. When I became pregnant and then married, I stopped cold turkey and never looked back. I guess I felt loved and a sense of responsibility to my baby and husband and self.

I got divorced - then a few relationships later, the last one to a demeaning addict, I ended up bulimic again.

This relationship ruined me on so many levels. I got counseling and went to Naranon but it hasnt stopped this rollercoaster of feeling like an unloveable failure.

The addict contacted one of my ex bfs who was abusive to me and decided it would be fun to terrorize me via emails and practical jokes. Part of the reason I ended the relationship is the immaturity of both of them.

I feel really bad about myself and feel hungry a lot. But even when i am not hungry i am angry at what a failure I am. i dont want to date or go out with friends anymore. After my marriage ended things got worse for me. I suffer from depression and anxiety but was doing well until I dated the addict. I started to get sick along with his illness. I had to get out of it.

I find myself angry so much now. I feel like a loser and useless and unloved. I wish I never got divorced seeing the kind of dating scene out there now. I dont even feel like trying anymore.

Counseling really didnt help - I tried but the two exes wouldnt stop harassing me and I felt more and more useless and hated. How could two adult men find joy in this? It worked. I wish they would leave me alone.

Please help me. I am so afraid.

In tears and after a couple of beers, he told me over the phone last night, that he has a problem. He said it's so clear when he's been drinking, but when he's sober he just wants to put the blame on everyone else. He's embarrassed and in disbelief he's even spoken those words. It's hard for him to understand (and me too) and he's confused. I said something about AA, but immediately he's worried about people finding out. He feels like a loser, a failure, ect. He said he misses me and needs my support. (He really wants me to come back home. He thinks that it would be extra motivation for him. I don't think it's a wise idea.) My question is, what do I do next? How do I support him? I don't want to push AA down his throat. I suggested I come over and we do dinner some evenings....just to take his mind off of doing other things and for us to spend time together. I just don't want to ruin this breakthrough.

just want to pick some brains here...
After I threw the boyfriend of my RAD out Dec 16th....he phoned me and left a long rambling message on my phone ....where he asked my GrandSon to pack up the playstation 3, he had given him last year...because that bitch of a grandmother turned off his mother's phone, and now he couldn't get calls at the homeless shelter, so my GS was to pack up the playstation so mr. loser could buy one!! Then on the same message, he proceeded to call me all kind of names, and berate me for about 1 1/2 min. This is the same man who sold the 1st playstation for drugs

My grandson is turning 14, and very hostile to me now cause I threw his "father" :GrossL:out. (not really his father, just a boyfriend) . Anyway, I've taped the conversation and just wonder if I should let him hear it. He's getting older now...and God knows...he sure saw and heard a lot when he was just 11. I've had custody since that cluster*$&% in 2006. I've been keeping him pretty protected, monitoring friends, TV, on and on. I'm just upset that he even sticks up for that loser!!! And he's been making snide comments to me since I threw the loser out! But do you think that would traumatize him further...he'd been thru a lot 2 years ago.

Hi,

Not an addict.....then an addict....then not an addict again. Confused?.... Me too.

Something very strange happened to me as a teenager and I would like to share it with you here.

When I was 14, I got put into a long term drug rehabilitation program called "Kids Helping Kids". I didn't have a drug problem or alcohol problem but my parents were manipulated by this program and told that I was a drug addict and alcoholic due to my bad behavior. This program was horrible and I had to admit to being an addict to progress. I was psychologically broken over the course of several months before I progressed to 2nd phase. I won't go into detail about what they did to me in there but it was illegal and it was child abuse. It was systematic psychological torture.

Well, I don't exactly know what happened but I eventually admitted to being a drug addict and believed it (although I actually never had any drug problems). I am guessing I was brainwashed and other people I was in there with have suggested the same thing. I graduated this program and worked there thinking I was an addict and attended AA meetings religiously out of fear of relapse. I was then 16.

I eventually left the "program" and had no support. I eventually started smoking, and then drinking and at one point I didn't even care what drugs I was doing, who I was fighting or who I was having sex with. It was chaotic. I believed I was a loser addict and would die without the program that ostracized me.

One day I just realized that I needed to stop going to jail and clean my life up. I stopped all of the bad behavior and much to my amazement realized that I didn't have a drug or alcohol problem at all. I remembered life before the program and being a normal teenager. It was amazing to not be afraid of relapse, that was such a big concern for me and after I drank that first time after the program, I felt like a failure and felt even worse so I drank more thinking I was a screwup. I cleaned my life up, quit smoking and by then I was 19.

Today I am much older and I don't drink, smoke cigarrettes or use any drugs. I just don't need to. I keep away from these things because they are unhealthy. I am now 36.

I wanted to get a response as to what people think about teenagers being brainwashed into thinking they are addicts inside these rehabilitation programs. I personally saw non-addict kids brainwashed and subsequently broken by the program I was in, and I have heard these rehabs are all over the country now. I am very concerned that this is still happening and what those of you in recovery think about these practices. Are you aware that these types of programs exist?

It took me several years to realize that I had been brainwashed and that I wasn't an addict. I only realized the full spectrum of what was done to me about a year ago.

For some, they seemed to adhere to what they were indoctrinated with in the "program" and became super-addicts, almost like they were addicted to the lifestyle of the addict. In this program, following program doctrine meant a position of power over other kids. This was a position where you had COMPLETE control over other kids lives. When I was on my upper phases as an "oldcomer" I wielded an authority not allowed in our society. The things I could do to others would have been considered human rights violations on the "outside", mainstream world.

I have read that most of the type of drug rehabilitation programs like the one I was in are all of the STRAIGHT INC. type which has been classified as a cult. one program I am aware of that still uses these methods is called "Pathway Family Center". What does anyone think about this?

Coming from the perspective of understanding addiction and recovery, is this known about? Has this been talked about before? I believe the abuse we endured in the "program" led many kids to become addicts. Isn't that an ironic thing, a drug rehab hurting kids in their mind so they hate themselves and become addicts?

Hi all,
I am just writing to introduce my self. I just found out my ex boyfriend i have been with on and off was lieing to me. He told me after six months of dating he had a cocaine problem and that he was getting off it. I found out two days ago that he never stopped. I feel like such a fool. He makes good money so he will never hit rock bottom. I can't seem to forget him or move on cause he has called me a bitch, ****, loser, stupid, sick in the head so many times i feel i cannot do any better, plus i do not want to walk away, i could never forget myself if something happened to him. I also can't stand the thought of him hating me but he is getting to the point that he will not talk to me, or phone me. I told him a couple days ago that i knew everything and he was not welcome near me or near my apt but now i want him here. I am so scared to move on, why can't he love me

Hi all,
I am just writing to introduce my self. I just found out my ex boyfriend i have been with on and off was lieing to me. He told me after six months of dating he had a cocaine problem and that he was getting off it. I found out two days ago that he never stopped. I feel like such a fool. He makes good money so he will never hit rock bottom. I can't seem to forget him or move on cause he has called me a bitch, ****, loser, stupid, sick in the head so many times i feel i cannot do any better, plus i do not want to walk away, i could never forget myself if something happened to him. I also can't stand the thought of him hating me but he is getting to the point that he will not talk to me, or phone me. I told him a couple days ago that i knew everything and he was not welcome near me or near my apt but now i want him here. I am so scared to move on, why can't he love me