Drug Rehab Options Blog

I've read a lot of posts here from a lot of people covering different situations and I am a little sadden that I am not seeing more positive stories from people. I know that there are a lot out there to be read. Maybe I'm lucky that my situation I was in worked out. I know there are people new here that are looking for advice and I know that some are in situations that they should get out of. I would like to give out some advice to some new members that there is hope if you alcoholic is willing to sober up. You do need to take care of yourself first but keep in mind your spouse has an illness. Remember all is not lost. I have been married for 22 years and 15 of it my spouse drank everyday. I was out of love and lost but after my spouse admitted the problem and sobered up I fell in love again with the person I married long ago. Have hope if you are in a situation that can be overcome.

Maybe I'm wrong to post this but I feel that some people need to hear there are some good positive stories out there

I am new to this forum but have been on this board for a little while in new to recovery forums.

I feel I not only need support for my sobriety but also to deal with the fact that my partner and child's father is still drinking. I entered treatment in August (outpatient) and he continued to drink. He would just go out all day and come home and pass out. He would lie his you know what off about his whereabouts. I was strong for a while. I can only control myself...but as time went on I ended up relapsing (30 days ago) and hsi dysfunctional family came down on me really hard. It was not easy to pull it together when being treated so unfairly but I did it.

Tonight is New Years Eve and he has told me he is going to work, yet he left very early for his shift and I know he is probably going out. This man chooses alcohol over his family. Each weekend he stumbles in arounf 8 and passes out. He feels this is his relaxatin and he deserves it and I am a stay at home mom so I am lucky to have what I have yada yada.

Can someone be in recovery and also be in Al-anon? I know I need my AA buddies but they do not need to hear about his drama when I need to work on myself..I am just hurt and confused and shellshocked that someone could be so callous. He gets extremely annoyed when I talk about recovery.

I know that step one is to become employed and start feeling some independence..step 2??

Thanks for listening.

I am so lucky to be alive.

First time I used I was nine years old, sniffing glue. By the time I was 13 I was smoking hash and using Amphetamnies on a daily basis. At sixteen years old I was gone, I was using opiates and anything I laid my hands on. I died many times and came to in Hospitals between the ages of 16 and 25, spent 4 years in prison, was commited a few times and still carried on using. I stopped in 76, I was 25 years old and stayed drug free for 20 years and then relasped using Alcohol, and did it all again for another 11 years!

Today I am free from all of that and I live my life as best I can on a daily basis. I have many trials and tribulations but they are nothing compared to the hell I lived in for so long.

Thank you all for being here. Stay safe over this holiday period.

I love you and so does your Higher Power.

Kevin

Any lingering doubts I had about whether my husband is an alcoholic have subsided, especially after all the hidden alcohol I just recently found. However, as much as I would like to leave I have one big problem -- my children. They are only one and five. My concern is that I would have a really hard time proving he has a problem. He is highly functional and everyone seems to think he is the absolutely, nicest guy in the world. How to a prove that he has a drinking problem? I wouldn't want to keep him from seeing his children, but I would want to ensure that they are safe in his care. Since he has already shown he will not abide by his promises to refrain from drinking when he was supposed to watch them, I have no doubt that he would continue to do this even with a court order to not drink when they are visiting with him. From my research and conversations with those experienced on the legal side of things, in order to get supervised visitation he would have had to really screw up, i.e. DUI, especially with the kids in the care --- this has not happened...yet. So has anyone been in this situation? How do you get the proof that there is a problem? Or do you just stay until the kids get older as at least under the current situation you have more control over watching the children -- at this point I do not leave them alone with him. If I need to go out, I hire a sitter, even if he is there. Any advice? I'm feeling a bit trapped. I should add that I realize it isn't great for them to be growing up with a father who is an active alcoholic, however, "lucky for us" (note the sarcasm), most of his drinking is done after we all go to bed. Thanks for the input. This site has been invaluable to me. Its so nice to feel less isolated.

I thought I would just jump in to say hello. I don't have much to say, I'm not looking for a lot, I have been drinking. I do want to stop, I want to forget about the past and move on. I haven't been committed enough recently. I don't want to hide anymore either. I'm not in the worst of spots, my six months off really did help with my mentality with alcohol, but I am no fool. I've been lucky, and I know things could get bad for me. Besides, I don't want to drink anymore. I just don't feel good, it's just a bad mix for me. So here I am for now, sober and trying to get my spirits and momentum back up so I can try again.

Hey Everyone,
My names Tom and I come from a long line of addictive people. My father was an alcoholic all his life up till about ten years ago, then had a slip up a few years back, but now is sober through AA for over a year. My sister also struggles with Bulimia and had a month long inpatient treatment at the Renfrew Center.
I feel that at 17 years old I've seen more than most people have seen in a whole lifetime. I have images of my father being passed out on the floor, and images of skeleton like figures at the Renfrew Center. I've been to psychiatrists and whatnot but I don't feel like I'll ever get those images out of my head; yet I think I'm ok with it.

I feel like I'm lucky to have witnessed these things, to make me a stronger and more driven individual. I feel like I've been enlightened, and I know what this life is for and not to waste it. I want to do something to help recovering bulimics and/or alcoholics, and this board seems like a nice place to share stories and give support, so I am very happy to have joined!

Thanks alot, if anyone is from Connecticut and would like to talk on the phone or anything let me know, I would be more than willing.

Tom =]

I'm very grateful to have found this Forum! I just happened to google "Living with an Alcoholic" and I was lucky enough to find you. In reading some of the posts, I don't feel quite so alone.

I was with my alcoholic husband for 16 years and we split up 5 months ago. This has been the most difficult break-up I've ever gone through, because I'm still missing him so much, but I realize I'm missing the dream of how I wanted our relationship to be and not the reality of how it actually was for the last few years.

I initiated the break-up, but because he would never leave in the past, or he would leave and come back, I was very shocked when he actually did and even more surprised when he moved thousands of miles away to live with his brother and wife. Not a day goes by that I don't blame myself and think that there might have been one more thing I could have done to get him to give up the alcohol and put our relationship first. But my logical self knows that I tried everything possible and more and I did all the wrong things, that only ended up enabling him more. It didn't matter what I did; none of it worked.

I just hope the pain and self-blame stop one day. In my heart of hearts, I want him back but I also know it won't work unless he quits drinking.

Thanks for having me here.

prairiegirl

Welcome to my new life and it is great! I still have a million things to do but all in good time. I have to go to the house this weekend as my landlord called and said that he told her I only took what I wanted and left the rest for him to deal with>>>coughing sounds like bullsh88t<<< So I think I am just going to donate the big stuff like the washer and dryer to someone who needs them since I don't have a place here. Hell you can always replace material stuff, you can't replace piece of mind.

It took three days to get everything together but thank God for the holiday weekend. It was not easy although I was so lucky to have such great people helping me. One of the people barely knows me and I was worried that he would get in trouble with his wife as she is out of state but his wife told him to tell me she would have been more upset if he hadn't helped and he will be back again this weekend to help some more.

It has not been the greatest thing I have ever done, I waited as long as I could to transfer the utilities over to the new place, everything was in my name and the long weekend gave him some grace time but I felt bad that electric and cable was cut off yesterday=I don't know if he is still there or not. I am cutting off the water tonight after I do this. He was a complete ass and stone drunk Saturday. He said horrible things about me in front of my friends but they did great in not rising to the bait.

Tuesday and Wednesday had thier moments. I stopped a place to run an errand that when we were together was our "date night" I ran into a friend of his who told me that the reason he let xah go was because of the drinking. xah always made it sound the other way around. My car was about to poop out so I told him I had to go. Yesterday my daughter and I talked about how she tried to tell him on Sat. that she would miss him. His response was "shut up you fat bitch".

Still, I pity him. He is dying but he doesn't know it. His liver is shot and he reaks of it. I have a nursing background, enough to know the smell of death. He carries it with him like a badge of honor. He will drink himself into an early grave, of that I am sure.

I did everything I could and loved him with all that I had. It was time to let go. Of that I am even more sure.

Hello Friends,
I got a call at 6:40 am. Sponsee calls, just finished his 90/90 two days ago,tells me I'm about to use. Someone waiting for me in front my house with the stuff. This isn't stepwork.

I remained calm and told him it's your choice, seems like you already made up your mind. I'm no magician, and I don't have a secret power to stop you. I'm afraid you're setting yourself up to fail and 'prove' that the program doesn't work. This grabbed his attention. we talked more.

He told me that he had 'dropped' his step 1 by calling the guy. I told him that he should have called me earlier and brought out that he had using thoughts at his meeting last night before it materialized into the execution phase.

I also told him that if you do not use today, and this does pass, because everything passes, then you would have gone through a critical situation and not used.
For the first time in your life you did not execute on impulse. In the future you would be able to draw back on this.
He was lucky. The person got tired of waiting. I suggested he take a shower and call me back.
Showers sometimes do miracles to disrupt our chain of thoughts.
I'm wondering if I did the right thing and would appreciate some advice on what would you do if you got a similar call?

I am new in recovery in every aspect. I decided to get sober(in a drug court. Didn't have a choice at first. Got put into a jail program and it opened my eyes!!) And the beginning was easy. Only one problem, really, my boyfriend whom I live with and who supports me, decided to stay using. I am having a very hard time. I have relapsed twice due to eeping myself in this situation. I tried saying me or the dope, at first he just lied. Then i realized he wasn't gonna quit. So i tried just ignoring it. I tried so hard. But he gets what he wants reguardless so he'd push me into arguing so i would just leave, he'd be popular for a moment, then he wanted me back. So I went back, Tons of promises, continued sneaking around, lying more, hanging with same losers, it just sucks. But I can't seem to leave him behind. We have been together for almost 2 years. We met about 2 yrs ago through a friend and his wife of 27yrs had just died. He was so lost. I fell right into it. He owns his own company and i used 2 work 4 him. I have no car or home, he has 2 homes and 3 cars. I fell in love with the idea he really loved me back. anyways, i am tired. I know what I need to do. Just need to hear it, maybe make some friends,too, if i'm lucky.