Drug Rehab Options Blog

I'm out of town for a business meeting. Usually at this meeting, 'happy' hour starts and noon and goes for the entire weekend.

Today, I had a sugar free raspberry ice tea with my lunch, and it was Deeeelicious!

As I was eating, I looked around at what others were drinking. Most everyone was doing water or a soft drink.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, here. I guess that sobriety is a work in progress. And, I'm proud of that progress.

How is everyone else enjoying a sober day?

I don't know. I'll see if I can make this short and understandable. lol.
I've been seeing this guy off and on and I don't know what to think.
They say if it's to good to be true.... Well.... He's rich, amazingly cute,
a doctor, and nice. At first everything we did was easy and fun.
I'm sure you know where this is going, it wasn't long, before I started
seeing his 'other side'. But after each time something happened he
had some reason, usually work, etc. I didn't get it because it came out
of the blue, and then he would be fine again. And sorry..

So fast forward to yesterday. We get into a wreck, the guy who hits us gets out, and he goes crazy. I try and get him to stop and he shoves me again, it turns into a huge ordeal, and finally the cops come.

So we end up at the ER. I had a concussion and a cut my head, nothing major.
Yesterday was a little strange, I don't know how to explain it.
Just a weird experience. Then when we leave they give me some Vicodin,
I tell them no it's okay, and he says, No, you need it, and he takes it.

After we got to his house, he was being his normal self, I felt fine besides my headache, then we decide to watch a movie, and he gives me a Vicodin and it wasn't long before I start feeling sick. So I decide to leave and he freaks
By the time I get home, I was a complete mess.

I haven't told any of my friends about what is going on or him, I'm not even sure why, or I guess because things got weird so fast, and I guess I called one of my friends and was crying, I don't remember that. I just remember throwing up all night and a few random things.
So I don't think it was a Vicodin he gave me.

I met him for lunch today and the first thing I ask him is, sooo.
What the hell did you give me last night, and he starts to :c004:

I just looked at him and said, Really..... Your going to yell at me........
Are you going to shove me again too, or hit me.....

He apologizes like he always does.. He just can't believe I would accuse
him of such a thing, after I tell him what happened, he goes into this
long reason, why...... He's a doctor, he always has good reasons.

Then he tells me......... That he booked us tickets to go to Hawaii in February.......


I don't even know what to think right now. I don't know if I am just over reacting. When things are good, they are great and he is Amazing.
The few times there have been those incidents, at first I think like I would tell anyone else, OMG, No that's not okay... But then I start thinking,
No he didn't really "Hit You" there were no closed fists, or I lost my balance.
I bruise easy, etc...
And I know I do make people mad.... :MissDone
Usually when we talk, it's so easy, and we can talk for hours about anything.
But when he gets weird, he can take something I've said and use it against me. It's so weird... I liked him so much at first because he didn't judge me, and like I could just be me. I don't feel like that hardly ever anymore.


I started to figure out yesterday that maybe he's addicted to Vicoden.
He always has a bottle of pills with him, but he says it's tylenol 3 for his hand, I don't know, stupid stuff.... His mood thing would kind of make sense.


I guess I probably sound stupid, even hearing myself, but it happened so fast, I feel like this has been a year and it's barely been a couple of weeks.


I don't know what to do, I can't talk to any of my friends, because they would freak out, as would my parents... I guess I just need another opinion, because I don't get how something can be so perfect and so bad at the same time....... Well besides crystal meth.......
Funny I was this confused when I was on meth also, lol.
Talking about this makes me so sick to my stomach. I don't know why.
I don't know what is wrong with me....... I just feel so lost.
But maybe I am overreacting...

I guess there's another part of me that keeps thinking if this keeps up, at least I'll keep losing weight, so I don't know if maybe that's part of what
has me all confused also.

Ha Ha, so much for being short. My Mind is spinning so fast, I don't think short is in my vocabulary.......

My Christmas holiday from work ended yesterday. I was off for almost 10 whole days, the most time I've had off by far in my recovery, and I spent a lot of the time focused on getting my program in gear.

My b/f introduced me to some really fantastic women in his network this season, and I finally connected enough with one of them to ask her to be my sponsor over lunch yesterday. She agreed! I'm psyched!

I did a lot more soul-searching and checking (and even some interviewing) this time before I asked her. She has some years clean, is working the steps for a third time, has a wonderful sponsor that I really respect, a solid network, and a recovering husband as well. She is active in the fellowship. We are also around the same age and both have careers and kids, so a lot in common.

She and I are taking a road trip to a convention next week to bond, so I'm really excited about that. My first time at a convention.

I'm glad I took my time in finding a new sponsor this time. It may be that there is a reason it took me a while to find her. The wait has been worth it, and I feel more ready than ever to begin formal step work now.

And, I get my nine month key tag tomorrow!!!
:Xmaselfb
KJ

I am having alot of trouble with food. I just can't seem to get on track at all. This morning I started out great. Had and really good breakfast but didn't have lunch. I ended up snacking a little with a friend when she stopped by and then had dinner....which wasn't too bad. But then I hit the cookies.

I keep making plans for a good food day and exercise, but have trouble following through.

As I said I had a friend that stopped by that I haven't seen for about 4 yr's. I have known her since the 2nd grade....so pretty much all my life. she also has struggle with her weight all her life as well. she has lost weight and is looking good. Seeing this does light a fire with me to get up off my behind and get busy. She has always been just as heavy as me. Now she is doing something about it..... it is long past time for me to to back to it. I was and got off track....way off..... I know the only way of getting back on is to get and stay connected. Here... I need to hold myself accountable.

I know there's currently another thread on drugs for withdrawal, but I need to know specifically about Methadone. I have a very close friend who is in the program. We both have have been clean about one year, and we both share the same sponsor. This person confided to me last week that they have been on Methadone for several months, prescribed by the psychiatrist they're going to for withdrawal, primarily from hydrocodone. The reason they told me about it was that their one-year birthday is this month and they wanted to know if I thought they should pick up a medallion at our group's birthday meeting next Saturday.

Well, my first reaction was total shock because honestly I don't feel that they have been clean at all. I told them, because I knew how fragile they are, that of course they should pick up a chip since this was prescribed by a doctor. Of course I was totally lying because I don't consider them as being clean at all.

To further complicate the matter is the fact that we both have the same sponsor and they asked me to promise that I won't tell the sponsor, which I realize means that they know they are just deluding their self.

My questions are:
1. Does anyone agree with me that this is not being "clean"
2. Is it wrong that I lied to them?
3. How do I handle not telling my sponsor - who I've of course always been
nothing but honest with?

I would sure appreciate any input because this is eating my lunch.

Hello everybody,

I am extremely glad to have stumbled upon this site and have navigated and lurked on the site for about a week now.

I am 30 years old, live in Oklahoma and have been an addict/alcoholic since i can remember (maybe 12 years)

I'm single, have a 6 year old daughter(who lives with her mom) and ALWAYS need to be altered. I cannot remember the last time I got through a day without having something to curb my soberness.

I can drink a pint of vodka or whiskey in 2 sips (Could probably down it one if I really wanted to) and do this on a regular basis. When people watch me drink from the bottle they're usually in shock and I often get embarrassed because my problem is so evident. So I often times make up excuses like "I haven't done that in years" when in fact I do it on a regular basis.

Whether it's during lunch, when I'm on a job, right before a job interview, going grocery shopping, or just surfing the internet, I like to have at least a pint in my system.

If it's not hard liquor, it's wine and alot of it.

I can go days at a time and feel I can control it, but all it takes is one moment of boredom and I'm pulling up to the liquor store again. I cant even make it home from the liquor store without cracking the bottle, so I take the back route where the cops seldom go.

5 out of 7 times I drink I wake up the next morning in bed not remembering the last part of the night.

My biggest problem is that once I'm hammered, I like to go out and socialize.........so as you can guess I'm often traveling the streets at night driving my car when most people wouldnt be able to walk.

I'm currently 6 days sober.

Thank you for listening.

This pre-Christmas time is a difficult time for me. It is a month during which I am usually stressed, lonely and depressed. It is during these time that being alone is most painful. I am not really alone, as I live with my two small children (9 and 4). But I am usually alone in the sense of adult companionship. If I want to be with people, I have to make a huge effort to make plans with other mothers.

I love being a mother. It?s a lot of work. I spend most of my time cooking, cleaning, picking up, dropping off, and doing activities with my children. I have very little time for myself, and, definitely, very little time for a boyfriend or husband. Which is fine, I guess, because my boyfriend has no time for me or for my children.

Often, I fantasize about having someone who would love to spend time with us, someone who would act like a surrogate father to the children. I see that my little boy craves male companionship. He is really sad that his dad is so absent and unreliable. When my boyfriend does come over on rare occasions, my little boy clings to him and is so upset when he leaves.

I have been dating this man for about two years. We see each other 2-3 times a week... mostly in the late evening or for lunch. He satisfies a need in me for affection.

But, sometimes I feel empty and sad. I don?t know if it is a need for more in the relationship or if it is just me. I am prone to depression.

Right now, I feel myself distancing from my BF. I'm not ready to end the relationship, as I enjoy the rare moments we share. But, I know that I am limiting myself. I know that I should make myself available to other men, who might be willing to give more to the relationship.

I came home from work as usual around 5.30, said a quick hello to my wife and 2 year old son, took a can of cola from the fridge and went upstairs for a quick shower.

Usual routine, lock the ensuite door, switch the shower on to warm up and take the half bottle of vodka out of the jacket pocket it was hidden in, down half of the bottle and wash it down with half the cola, pour the rest of the vodka into the can of cola, hide the bottle again and unlock the door, doesn't matter if someone come in now, just cola to see.

All day I would have been feeling edgy and shakey, wouldn't have had much, if anything for lunch, but now as I wash and the vodka starts to kick in I feel ok, come out the shower, dry off, finish the can of cola and downstairs for a good meal, half bottle now safely inside me.

Only tonight I was worried, can't go on like this, my wifes due to give birth in 2 weeks and I need to be able to take her to the hospital. Two years before when my son was born I stopped this routine for around 6 weeks before the birth but its lots harder this time for some reason, know I have to but thats weeks I've been thinking about it and haven't managed.

We had a meal and we put our son to bed, around 9.00 my wife started to go into labour, I'm panicing, its 2 weeks early, I'm not drunk as my body is well used to drinking a half bottle of vodka but no way should I drive.

My mum comes in to watch our son, by 11.00 we are ready to go, I drive to the hospital, its only 3 miles and thankfully the roads are quiet.

3.30 am the following morning my daughter is born, its fantastic, I drive home, getting in around 6.00, tell my mum the good news, she goes back to bed, I have a beer as the hangover is starting and I've had no sleep, its 7.30 and my son gets up. Make him his breakfast and tell him he's got a sister.

We go back to the hospital to see them at lunchtime that day, I don't drink throughout the day, I'm happy,I leave the hospital about 8.00 that niight to get my son to bed, soon as he's in bed though I'm into the half bottle of vodka I've picked up during the day.

As I drink it I'm relieved, relieved to have got away with it, relieved I didn't have to stop drinking.

I knew that night as I sat there I couldn't go on like that though, what if I'd crashed the car, what if a nurse had noticed I was drunk, what if the police had stopped me, was I trying to throw everything away ?

Even though I knew I had to stop, it was the following summer before I managed a decent length of sobriety, 10 weeks I did until I faltered and was back on the same old routine for another 9 months or so, then 9th May this year I stopped and here I still am.

Was that my rock bottom, probably not that bad compared to some people, but yes I think for me it probably was.

Nearly 7 months I've done now, I can't go back to the life I was living, I have too much to lose, my wee girl will be 2 tomorrow, my son is 4 and starts school next year, they need a dad I reckon.

As someone said to me, I'm lucky, if I get this right my kids will never remember me ever being drunk, that alone keeps me going.

I tell this story tonight because its in my thoughts due to my daughters birthday but also because I see some friends struggling just now.

I'm starting to believe I can really do this and if I can then so can anyone.

I don't know if I like the Thanksgiving dinner itself,
Or the left overs better! :e058:

Today, I made -- all from the left overs:

Two lunch servings of turkey dinners for school; they're in the freezer for later,
Turkey soup,
Turkey pot pie,
Shrimp/cream cheese dip for tonight with a movie,
Shrimp quasidellas,
Potato pancakes,
And had a Pilgrim sandwich for lunch! :yumyum:

I won't have to cook for a week!
And I'll be freezing a LOT!!! :a122:

Thanksgiving just keeps on GIVING!
Just more to be grateful for, yes?

What do you do with your leftovers?

L'Chaim!
(To Life!)

I hope this is a good place to post my question. I thought you guys might be the best people to give me the straight answer.

I'm nine and three-quarter months sober. I am very active in my recovery - attend aftercare once a week, attend 1-2 AA meetings a week, meet with my sponsor regularly, am working the steps and am in individual therapy. I really want to do this right and I never want to relapse. I am horribly sorry for the pain I put my husband through.

My husband has stated he forgives me but that he still has very painful memories and feelings. We go to marriage therapy every other week. He has gone to 1 or 2 Al-Anon meetings and says it is "not for me." Other than the bi-weekly marriage therapy, he is doing nothing to help himself resolve the lingering pain and the issues of trust between us.

I have given him passwords to my phone and email and here. I am trying to transparent. (I lied about my drinking.)

Today, we went to a restaurant for lunch together and it was one he knew I used to drink at. In a way, I'd asked him to meet me there because it was time to destroy the mistique of the restaurant and go back as a sober person. They all know me and were very friendly.

I was excited to be able to go to the restaurant and not drink and have a nice lunch. But I could tell my husband was not as thrilled. I asked him about it and he said he was unpleasantly reminded of that whole time in our lives and all the pain and also all the wasted money (my excessive spending on booze).

I said I was sorry that going there and talking about it was hurtful to him. That I couldn't help being excited and happy when I see my own recovery working. But that I would try to be more sensitive to his feelings in the future.

That's why I'm here posting. Is it appropriate that I protect him from my enthusiasm in recovery? (Sometimes, he really doesn't seem to want to hear tidbits about my group or my meetings either.) Why do you think he hasn't gone to Al-Anon? Do you think that's related to the pain he still feels when I talk about my recovery? What can I do to help?

Thanks so much. Any ideas are welcome. Don't worry about hurting my feelings or anything. I really want to know what you think.

- mle