Archive for the ‘Medication’ tag
Having a bad day
Today like all others I sit thinking of my boy. Crying and hoping and praying and wishing things were different. Why did this whole thing happen. I have to get a grip I can't spend my life crying about this it is not going to change things. I keep telling my self this grief will get better well today it was worse don't know why just was. I forgot to take my medication that was it and it must be helping since I have been on it the crying is not so bad except for today. Here I am forgetting to take a pill and all my son could think about was taking some. How different were we I know I had this child so he had to have some of me in him. I never drank didn't take anything the doctor didn't order for me. I am not a thief I do tell a white lie now and again not to hurt someones feelings. I never went to jail where did my boy get this from.
He was happy never wanted for anything. Had friends, many girlfriends,(to many if you ask me) they all loved him he always made them laugh and had fun with them. He and I would watch tv together we would laugh until we cried. Jason did have a very soft heart he would cry when we went to see his dad when he was so sick in the hospital. When his dad got home would help me with him. Up to the time of his (Jason) death he would call his dad just to see how he was.
Last night I was up late husband and grandson in bed. I was watching TV. I have a chime clock. at 10 to 12 Midnight that clock went crazy just chiming and chiming about 20 times then the clocked stopped I had it open it up and get it started again. I am sure it was Jason way of telling me stop crying for me mum I love you.
Maggiemac:praying
He was happy never wanted for anything. Had friends, many girlfriends,(to many if you ask me) they all loved him he always made them laugh and had fun with them. He and I would watch tv together we would laugh until we cried. Jason did have a very soft heart he would cry when we went to see his dad when he was so sick in the hospital. When his dad got home would help me with him. Up to the time of his (Jason) death he would call his dad just to see how he was.
Last night I was up late husband and grandson in bed. I was watching TV. I have a chime clock. at 10 to 12 Midnight that clock went crazy just chiming and chiming about 20 times then the clocked stopped I had it open it up and get it started again. I am sure it was Jason way of telling me stop crying for me mum I love you.
Maggiemac:praying
My boyfriend just relapsed. Am I handling this correctly?
I will try to keep this short as it has the potential to be very LONG. I have no experience with alcoholism in all my life until I met this man. I am 22 and he is 26. After kissing millions of frogs I finally found my prince. When I got with him I was very aware of his past with alcohol. He was two years sober.
Recently we began having problems, arguing and such. He started drinking, again. Doing coke, again. I will not sleep with him because I'm a virgin, and that is the cause of most of our fights. Now that he's drinking I am DEFINITELY not sleeping with him and I told him that. It is a devestation that no words exsist to describe. I have no idea what to do, no idea what to say, I feel like he is slowly slipping away from me. He is deeply, deeply depressed and is on medication which was controlling it. I tell him that drinking while taking the medication is extremely dangerous as the medication alone is already messing with the chemicals in his brain. Throw drinks and coke in there and... it's painful to even think about it. I have cried myself to sleep and literally made myself sick over this. It is the worst feeling of absolute isolation and helplessness. He is not in denial. He is very aware of what he is doing and how it is effecting me and himself. He just can't stop. He is not an angry drunk, in fact, all he really does is get wasted, come home and pass out. It's almost like he is the same man, just sillier. He is not verbally abusive to me when he is drunk, nor physically.
For the most part I have been by his side at all times because he never used to drink while I was with him. For a while that was enough and he once went an entire five days without a drink. I thought I was seeing progress. Then he started to ask if he could take me home (I don't have a car). Whenever he asks to take me home I know it's because he wants to get drunk and doesn't want me to see him that way as I am a crying, hysterical mess every time I do. For the most part when he asks me to leave I refuse to go because in the past my presence has kept him from drinking, but that is obviously no longer the case. Over the last few days he has been sneaking out and getting drunk in his car while I was asleep and I would wake up to him wasted/passed out. This was my last straw, it is too hearwrenching. I cried/screamed at him, threw out all of his beer, told him to never talk to me again and stormed out. After a long night of googling I've come to the realization that these are the three absolute worst things one can do to an alcoholic. They were right. Last night he was worse then I've ever seen him.
I just have a few questions and I would apprechiate any answers, please.
1) When he first started drinking again he brought his old AA books over to my place and was reading them, he even said to me that he was thinking about going back to AA meetings. Was this the point that I should have really pushed him? Or is his just mentioning going to AA in jest not enough? Everything I've read has told me that he has to make the phone call on his own, make the decision on his own, take action on his own, but if he is reading AA books and talking about AA meetings isn't that a cry for help? Should I not have taken action just because HE wasn't the one making the call? This was all weeks ago. Am I too late? I will always agonize over not taking his keys the moment he said this and dragging him out to the car for the meeting. All I did was say, "You absolutely should go back to meetings. I'll go with you". He said that he likes the all male meetings, so I couldn't go. That was it. :(
2) I broke up with him even though he told me that was the one thing that would make everything worse, but I don't know what else to do. I told him that I cannot see him outside of work anymore (we work together) but that he was welcome to call me whenever he needed to and if he was ready to get sober I would be behind him 100%. Am I going about this correctly? Should I not even let him call me on the phone? I can't see him anymore as it is agony and I know I have to take care of myself but cutting off all contact COMPLETELY seems like abandonment. Plus, I kind of need to hear his voice everyday to calm the anxiety I feel for him every other second. To make sure he's alive, and not overdosing in a ditch somewhere.
All of the articles I've read say that in a relationship with an alcoholic it is important to leave them as they will never need to help themselves if they are having everything handed to them, but that seems so broad. What do they mean by leaving them? Do they mean dissapear from their lives completely i.e no phone calls, no interaction, no nothing? Or just set minimal boundaries, as I have?
I have no ******* idea what to do. No idea. I'm in agony. Please help.
Recently we began having problems, arguing and such. He started drinking, again. Doing coke, again. I will not sleep with him because I'm a virgin, and that is the cause of most of our fights. Now that he's drinking I am DEFINITELY not sleeping with him and I told him that. It is a devestation that no words exsist to describe. I have no idea what to do, no idea what to say, I feel like he is slowly slipping away from me. He is deeply, deeply depressed and is on medication which was controlling it. I tell him that drinking while taking the medication is extremely dangerous as the medication alone is already messing with the chemicals in his brain. Throw drinks and coke in there and... it's painful to even think about it. I have cried myself to sleep and literally made myself sick over this. It is the worst feeling of absolute isolation and helplessness. He is not in denial. He is very aware of what he is doing and how it is effecting me and himself. He just can't stop. He is not an angry drunk, in fact, all he really does is get wasted, come home and pass out. It's almost like he is the same man, just sillier. He is not verbally abusive to me when he is drunk, nor physically.
For the most part I have been by his side at all times because he never used to drink while I was with him. For a while that was enough and he once went an entire five days without a drink. I thought I was seeing progress. Then he started to ask if he could take me home (I don't have a car). Whenever he asks to take me home I know it's because he wants to get drunk and doesn't want me to see him that way as I am a crying, hysterical mess every time I do. For the most part when he asks me to leave I refuse to go because in the past my presence has kept him from drinking, but that is obviously no longer the case. Over the last few days he has been sneaking out and getting drunk in his car while I was asleep and I would wake up to him wasted/passed out. This was my last straw, it is too hearwrenching. I cried/screamed at him, threw out all of his beer, told him to never talk to me again and stormed out. After a long night of googling I've come to the realization that these are the three absolute worst things one can do to an alcoholic. They were right. Last night he was worse then I've ever seen him.
I just have a few questions and I would apprechiate any answers, please.
1) When he first started drinking again he brought his old AA books over to my place and was reading them, he even said to me that he was thinking about going back to AA meetings. Was this the point that I should have really pushed him? Or is his just mentioning going to AA in jest not enough? Everything I've read has told me that he has to make the phone call on his own, make the decision on his own, take action on his own, but if he is reading AA books and talking about AA meetings isn't that a cry for help? Should I not have taken action just because HE wasn't the one making the call? This was all weeks ago. Am I too late? I will always agonize over not taking his keys the moment he said this and dragging him out to the car for the meeting. All I did was say, "You absolutely should go back to meetings. I'll go with you". He said that he likes the all male meetings, so I couldn't go. That was it. :(
2) I broke up with him even though he told me that was the one thing that would make everything worse, but I don't know what else to do. I told him that I cannot see him outside of work anymore (we work together) but that he was welcome to call me whenever he needed to and if he was ready to get sober I would be behind him 100%. Am I going about this correctly? Should I not even let him call me on the phone? I can't see him anymore as it is agony and I know I have to take care of myself but cutting off all contact COMPLETELY seems like abandonment. Plus, I kind of need to hear his voice everyday to calm the anxiety I feel for him every other second. To make sure he's alive, and not overdosing in a ditch somewhere.
All of the articles I've read say that in a relationship with an alcoholic it is important to leave them as they will never need to help themselves if they are having everything handed to them, but that seems so broad. What do they mean by leaving them? Do they mean dissapear from their lives completely i.e no phone calls, no interaction, no nothing? Or just set minimal boundaries, as I have?
I have no ******* idea what to do. No idea. I'm in agony. Please help.
Antabuse or disulfiram
I wanted to start this thread to share my experience of this medication and experiences of other people i know that have taken it as it is easy to just say 'i'm not taking meds' and in my case wasted 7 years of my life sticking to this principle.
I was drinking everyday and was starting to plan how to end my life when i decided to try one very last time to get some help. After finding an English speaking Counseller in Spain I booked an appointment. She referred me to the psychiatrict and he prescribed me 3 drugs:
1. Seroxat (Paxil) as i had taken a text and was chronic on most areas, anxiety, depression etc.
2. Antabuse to provide a barrier to having that first drink
3. A med used to detox and for anxiety (highly addictive, I did not take this one)
Back to antabuse. I have been sober for just over 10 weeks now from drinking everyday. I still have my job and it has been commented on how much my work has changed and it is quite obvious that i was nearing the point where they were losing all patience with me and still live in a wonderful house in Spain.
Without the antabuse i would have found this time more difficult as it provides a reason, a good one, for me not to drink at that given time. The drug lasts up to 48 hours in your system so as soon as you have a craving there is a thought process which would be that I want a drink but i can't have a drink right now otherwise the effects of the drug would make me ill. It is possible to stop taking the drug and then go out and get drunk in 48 hours but the craving is for the moment and not something that i think about logically, so it works.
I take one tablet every morning which is easy for me as i was always an afternoon drinker. Maybe if you are used to having your first drink at 9am this would be more difficult, but that was never my pattern of drinking.
There are no known side effects to the drug and it is completely non-addictive, you can stop taking the drug at anytime and have no withdrawl syptoms whatsoever. These are all facts!
I am still taking my anti-depressents and have another appointment with my psychiatrist on the 15th to discuss how long to take them etc. I am also seeing my counseller once a week.
Now I can't say which part of the recovery is working, but i sure as hell am not going to start experimenting to find out. There is no way i would have been able to stop for 10 weeks+ by myself, i wasted a lot of years trying!
Antabuse is a useful tool in the battle against alcoholism and one which should be given some thought. You should go to a counseller, IMO, rather than a doctor who will refer you to a psychiatrist who will then make sure, as much as he/she can, that you are not going to take the drug and then try and down a half bottle of scotch which could potentially kill you!
I have posted this before but my friend was on antabuse, he downed a can of large beer and we found him on the floor sweating, covered in red blotches and he had pood himself. We called the ambulance and the paramedics, after finding out what he had done and the meds he was on, told him to drink lots of water and not to drink whilst on antabuse (they obviously did the usual tests whilst they were there too!). The point is that if you take a swig of alcohol it will cause a very unpleasant side effect which is the whole point of the deterrant, it will not kill you unless you are trying to do yourself harm and down a half bottle of spirits before the effects of the meds make you ill.
I was given anti-depressants 7 years ago which i did not take, and have talked about antabuse for the last few years. Now it was my time to waste and i don't regret it, all i am doing is pointing out to anyone that stumbles across this post on a search for antabuse is that it does work, it won't kill you and it could mean the difference between getting sober now or coming back, even worse off, and getting sober in a couple/several years.
Obviously the drug helps you stay sober and does not tackle the disease of alcoholism which you will need to address as well through AA, counselling, SR...whatever you find works for you. But as my psychiatrist told me...we can help you but only if you do not drink anymore, if you keep drinking we can't help you...quite clear i thought!
Point...I am taking antabuse and it does work!
Please see Disulfiram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia for more information
Good luck on your journey:-)
I was drinking everyday and was starting to plan how to end my life when i decided to try one very last time to get some help. After finding an English speaking Counseller in Spain I booked an appointment. She referred me to the psychiatrict and he prescribed me 3 drugs:
1. Seroxat (Paxil) as i had taken a text and was chronic on most areas, anxiety, depression etc.
2. Antabuse to provide a barrier to having that first drink
3. A med used to detox and for anxiety (highly addictive, I did not take this one)
Back to antabuse. I have been sober for just over 10 weeks now from drinking everyday. I still have my job and it has been commented on how much my work has changed and it is quite obvious that i was nearing the point where they were losing all patience with me and still live in a wonderful house in Spain.
Without the antabuse i would have found this time more difficult as it provides a reason, a good one, for me not to drink at that given time. The drug lasts up to 48 hours in your system so as soon as you have a craving there is a thought process which would be that I want a drink but i can't have a drink right now otherwise the effects of the drug would make me ill. It is possible to stop taking the drug and then go out and get drunk in 48 hours but the craving is for the moment and not something that i think about logically, so it works.
I take one tablet every morning which is easy for me as i was always an afternoon drinker. Maybe if you are used to having your first drink at 9am this would be more difficult, but that was never my pattern of drinking.
There are no known side effects to the drug and it is completely non-addictive, you can stop taking the drug at anytime and have no withdrawl syptoms whatsoever. These are all facts!
I am still taking my anti-depressents and have another appointment with my psychiatrist on the 15th to discuss how long to take them etc. I am also seeing my counseller once a week.
Now I can't say which part of the recovery is working, but i sure as hell am not going to start experimenting to find out. There is no way i would have been able to stop for 10 weeks+ by myself, i wasted a lot of years trying!
Antabuse is a useful tool in the battle against alcoholism and one which should be given some thought. You should go to a counseller, IMO, rather than a doctor who will refer you to a psychiatrist who will then make sure, as much as he/she can, that you are not going to take the drug and then try and down a half bottle of scotch which could potentially kill you!
I have posted this before but my friend was on antabuse, he downed a can of large beer and we found him on the floor sweating, covered in red blotches and he had pood himself. We called the ambulance and the paramedics, after finding out what he had done and the meds he was on, told him to drink lots of water and not to drink whilst on antabuse (they obviously did the usual tests whilst they were there too!). The point is that if you take a swig of alcohol it will cause a very unpleasant side effect which is the whole point of the deterrant, it will not kill you unless you are trying to do yourself harm and down a half bottle of spirits before the effects of the meds make you ill.
I was given anti-depressants 7 years ago which i did not take, and have talked about antabuse for the last few years. Now it was my time to waste and i don't regret it, all i am doing is pointing out to anyone that stumbles across this post on a search for antabuse is that it does work, it won't kill you and it could mean the difference between getting sober now or coming back, even worse off, and getting sober in a couple/several years.
Obviously the drug helps you stay sober and does not tackle the disease of alcoholism which you will need to address as well through AA, counselling, SR...whatever you find works for you. But as my psychiatrist told me...we can help you but only if you do not drink anymore, if you keep drinking we can't help you...quite clear i thought!
Point...I am taking antabuse and it does work!
Please see Disulfiram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia for more information
Good luck on your journey:-)
Happy New Year, I have hope for you newcomers.
Hi, I would like to recite a post I made on the alcoholism forums so you newcomers can see what my life has been like without alcohol for the past 6 months, for it hasn't been pleasant but I've managed to stay sober. Here goes, this is a post from the alcoholism forums I posted also.
"Amazing, the things that have happened to me ever since I tried to stop drinking which would trigger drinking, let me list them to show to you all that there is hope even with stress to not drink...
Around Juneish I got rejected by a woman I really liked mentally and physically *I never have had a relationship in my life also so it would have been my first time* and I was close to relapsing but I did not.
Around October I lost my Neopets account, this flipped me out because I had it so long and I loved it, however I did not drink.
Insecurities/mental anguish/depression/stress/life problems- This occurs all year around really and can occur a lot... depression spikes, anxiety attacks, life troubles as in lamentations of what I could be, what COULD be and what isn't etc... my insecurity about being an autistic retard... how numb I feel sometimes mentally, always getting off a medication or something, and throughout all those 6 months, no drinking. *I should add there's a lot of alcohol in the house so therefore it's even easier to go back to drinking*
Holidays- All the holidays... especially tonight, I did not drink. Amazing. Willpower and not needing that poison even though I will admit it was my brain's friend once, but that is a lie, it's a true poison that fakes you into something like a hustler...
Domestic Disturbances-I have had some domestic disturbances orally with my grandfather as I listed on the site before but that doesn't happen much anymore but the LAST TIME I DRANK on June 14thish was when my former stepfather who is on parole screamed at me and pointed his finger at me and was going crazy and making me feel bad, which was actually making my left arm ache, my head feel dizzy and pounding with blood, I felt short of breath and almost like I was dying, that's when I drank LAST *but that was before I started my 200 day campaign* And now even with all other Domestic Disturbances/etc I do not drink, so, good.
PSP- My psp broke and it has been making me crazy because I've wanted something installed on it for a while badly and I'm too stupid to follow guides/faqs so it was difficult, but I did not... drink
Computer- The biggest thing and IRONICALLY OCCURS ON NEW YEARS EVE, my computer which I've used well for nearly 3 years finally gets a major virus *which be careful all I suggest get AVG and keep it on at all times* anyway, and LUCKILY I was able to save my important files that I thought I would NOT have been able to save in the first place! So... therefore in conclusion, ... it was a successful year in sobriety.
Bless you all and Happy New Year, hope to see you later today in... 19 hours for my New Years Day Meeting! PEACE TO YOU ALL "
And so there it is. I hope it gives you all some hope =)
"Amazing, the things that have happened to me ever since I tried to stop drinking which would trigger drinking, let me list them to show to you all that there is hope even with stress to not drink...
Around Juneish I got rejected by a woman I really liked mentally and physically *I never have had a relationship in my life also so it would have been my first time* and I was close to relapsing but I did not.
Around October I lost my Neopets account, this flipped me out because I had it so long and I loved it, however I did not drink.
Insecurities/mental anguish/depression/stress/life problems- This occurs all year around really and can occur a lot... depression spikes, anxiety attacks, life troubles as in lamentations of what I could be, what COULD be and what isn't etc... my insecurity about being an autistic retard... how numb I feel sometimes mentally, always getting off a medication or something, and throughout all those 6 months, no drinking. *I should add there's a lot of alcohol in the house so therefore it's even easier to go back to drinking*
Holidays- All the holidays... especially tonight, I did not drink. Amazing. Willpower and not needing that poison even though I will admit it was my brain's friend once, but that is a lie, it's a true poison that fakes you into something like a hustler...
Domestic Disturbances-I have had some domestic disturbances orally with my grandfather as I listed on the site before but that doesn't happen much anymore but the LAST TIME I DRANK on June 14thish was when my former stepfather who is on parole screamed at me and pointed his finger at me and was going crazy and making me feel bad, which was actually making my left arm ache, my head feel dizzy and pounding with blood, I felt short of breath and almost like I was dying, that's when I drank LAST *but that was before I started my 200 day campaign* And now even with all other Domestic Disturbances/etc I do not drink, so, good.
PSP- My psp broke and it has been making me crazy because I've wanted something installed on it for a while badly and I'm too stupid to follow guides/faqs so it was difficult, but I did not... drink
Computer- The biggest thing and IRONICALLY OCCURS ON NEW YEARS EVE, my computer which I've used well for nearly 3 years finally gets a major virus *which be careful all I suggest get AVG and keep it on at all times* anyway, and LUCKILY I was able to save my important files that I thought I would NOT have been able to save in the first place! So... therefore in conclusion, ... it was a successful year in sobriety.
Bless you all and Happy New Year, hope to see you later today in... 19 hours for my New Years Day Meeting! PEACE TO YOU ALL "
And so there it is. I hope it gives you all some hope =)
First New Years without drinking in a while.
Amazing, the things that have happened to me ever since I tried to stop drinking which would trigger drinking, let me list them to show to you all that there is hope even with stress to not drink...
Around Juneish I got rejected by a woman I really liked mentally and physically *I never have had a relationship in my life also so it would have been my first time* and I was close to relapsing but I did not.
Around October I lost my Neopets account, this flipped me out because I had it so long and I loved it, however I did not drink.
Insecurities/mental anguish/depression/stress/life problems- This occurs all year around really and can occur a lot... depression spikes, anxiety attacks, life troubles as in lamentations of what I could be, what COULD be and what isn't etc... my insecurity about being an autistic retard... how numb I feel sometimes mentally, always getting off a medication or something, and throughout all those 6 months, no drinking. *I should add there's a lot of alcohol in the house so therefore it's even easier to go back to drinking*
Holidays- All the holidays... especially tonight, I did not drink. Amazing. Willpower and not needing that poison even though I will admit it was my brain's friend once, but that is a lie, it's a true poison that fakes you into something like a hustler...
Domestic Disturbances-I have had some domestic disturbances orally with my grandfather as I listed on the site before but that doesn't happen much anymore but the LAST TIME I DRANK on June 14thish was when my former stepfather who is on parole screamed at me and pointed his finger at me and was going crazy and making me feel bad, which was actually making my left arm ache, my head feel dizzy and pounding with blood, I felt short of breath and almost like I was dying, that's when I drank LAST *but that was before I started my 200 day campaign* And now even with all other Domestic Disturbances/etc I do not drink, so, good.
PSP- My psp broke and it has been making me crazy because I've wanted something installed on it for a while badly and I'm too stupid to follow guides/faqs so it was difficult, but I did not... drink :)
Computer- The biggest thing and IRONICALLY OCCURS ON NEW YEARS EVE, my computer which I've used well for nearly 3 years finally gets a major virus *which be careful all I suggest get AVG and keep it on at all times* anyway, and LUCKILY I was able to save my important files that I thought I would NOT have been able to save in the first place! So... therefore in conclusion, ... it was a successful year in sobriety.
Bless you all and Happy New Year, hope to see you later today in... 19 hours for my New Years Day Meeting! PEACE TO YOU ALL :nyg :nyai
Around Juneish I got rejected by a woman I really liked mentally and physically *I never have had a relationship in my life also so it would have been my first time* and I was close to relapsing but I did not.
Around October I lost my Neopets account, this flipped me out because I had it so long and I loved it, however I did not drink.
Insecurities/mental anguish/depression/stress/life problems- This occurs all year around really and can occur a lot... depression spikes, anxiety attacks, life troubles as in lamentations of what I could be, what COULD be and what isn't etc... my insecurity about being an autistic retard... how numb I feel sometimes mentally, always getting off a medication or something, and throughout all those 6 months, no drinking. *I should add there's a lot of alcohol in the house so therefore it's even easier to go back to drinking*
Holidays- All the holidays... especially tonight, I did not drink. Amazing. Willpower and not needing that poison even though I will admit it was my brain's friend once, but that is a lie, it's a true poison that fakes you into something like a hustler...
Domestic Disturbances-I have had some domestic disturbances orally with my grandfather as I listed on the site before but that doesn't happen much anymore but the LAST TIME I DRANK on June 14thish was when my former stepfather who is on parole screamed at me and pointed his finger at me and was going crazy and making me feel bad, which was actually making my left arm ache, my head feel dizzy and pounding with blood, I felt short of breath and almost like I was dying, that's when I drank LAST *but that was before I started my 200 day campaign* And now even with all other Domestic Disturbances/etc I do not drink, so, good.
PSP- My psp broke and it has been making me crazy because I've wanted something installed on it for a while badly and I'm too stupid to follow guides/faqs so it was difficult, but I did not... drink :)
Computer- The biggest thing and IRONICALLY OCCURS ON NEW YEARS EVE, my computer which I've used well for nearly 3 years finally gets a major virus *which be careful all I suggest get AVG and keep it on at all times* anyway, and LUCKILY I was able to save my important files that I thought I would NOT have been able to save in the first place! So... therefore in conclusion, ... it was a successful year in sobriety.
Bless you all and Happy New Year, hope to see you later today in... 19 hours for my New Years Day Meeting! PEACE TO YOU ALL :nyg :nyai
New to join
Hi all. Not sure if the correct new comers forum, but wanted to introduce myself. I am the significant other of someone in recovery from alcohol abuse. Three days in rehab and so far so good.
My parents were alcoholics, my older brother was and now sober for many years, another brother was addicted to pain medication. A lot of history and emotions to deal with. I thought I was finished with all of this as 33 years not being around any type of substance abuse and now I am knocked over by how far gone 'my guy' really is.
I am scared to death of relapse when he gets out and comes home. One day at a time!
Not what I expected for a Christmas present (he wanted to propose):Xmasistar, but instead admitted he has a problem and went into rehab! Could not ask for a better gift.
Enjoy your day everyone and sorry if I posted in the wrong newcomers forum.
My parents were alcoholics, my older brother was and now sober for many years, another brother was addicted to pain medication. A lot of history and emotions to deal with. I thought I was finished with all of this as 33 years not being around any type of substance abuse and now I am knocked over by how far gone 'my guy' really is.
I am scared to death of relapse when he gets out and comes home. One day at a time!
Not what I expected for a Christmas present (he wanted to propose):Xmasistar, but instead admitted he has a problem and went into rehab! Could not ask for a better gift.
Enjoy your day everyone and sorry if I posted in the wrong newcomers forum.
Trying to give up again
Back here again for some help and support in giving up. The Christmas period has seen me drinking a huge volume of alcohol, mostly on my own. I have started drinking as soon as I get up.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety, which is made worse by the drinking. The worst time is first thing in the morning, hence the morning drinking. I feel anxious as soon as I wake up, sometimes to the extent of having a panic attack. I also have a lot of anger and insomnia, both of which are helped by medication, zyprexa (olanzapine).
I can't keep doing this to myself anymore, but I find it so hard to give up. Even though I know the alcohol is killing me I still want to drink. I think rehab would be very helpful for me.
I have been to the AA but I didn't like it. I don't like the references to God and I don't like the assumption that I need a higher power to resolve my alcohol problem. I believe that I hold the power in myself to give up.
Today I've made a huge step in not drinking so far. Just need to make it through to the end of the day, then then end of tomorrow, etc!
I'm feeling scared and lonely. Thanks for reading.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety, which is made worse by the drinking. The worst time is first thing in the morning, hence the morning drinking. I feel anxious as soon as I wake up, sometimes to the extent of having a panic attack. I also have a lot of anger and insomnia, both of which are helped by medication, zyprexa (olanzapine).
I can't keep doing this to myself anymore, but I find it so hard to give up. Even though I know the alcohol is killing me I still want to drink. I think rehab would be very helpful for me.
I have been to the AA but I didn't like it. I don't like the references to God and I don't like the assumption that I need a higher power to resolve my alcohol problem. I believe that I hold the power in myself to give up.
Today I've made a huge step in not drinking so far. Just need to make it through to the end of the day, then then end of tomorrow, etc!
I'm feeling scared and lonely. Thanks for reading.
A CHristmas Tragedy…
most of you know i do case management for people who suffer from SPMI (severe and persistant mental illness) as well as drug addiction. We get "the worst of the worst". you have had to fail "traditional" case management and help in order to reach our intensive level of care.
THat being said, i started working with a woman this past summer who was pregnant. upon meeting her i found out that not only was she schizophrenic but her boyfriend/the babys father was too. AS a mother and mental health worker i had concerns about thier ability to care for this baby.
I attempted to get them into parenting classes ect, and much to my dismay they,, mostly my client the mom.. was not interested. She was very gun ho on doing this them selves.. and she said parenting classes were too stressful. ??? i told her if you think the classes are stressful, you wont be able to handle the baby... I was vveerrry concern about her lack of reality in caring for this baby...
In Oct. I transferred her to my co-worker, who was not too happy to get the case in that she was a NEw first time mom with a 3 month old at home. Working with this couple and the potential for tragedy hit a bit too close to home for her. nevertheless... she visited the couple everyday once Baby Sebastian was born in Nov. 08. things were going pretty well. our agency tried to set the new family up with a home health nurse but since the baby did not have any medical problems, they were denied and put on a waiting list.
This morning i recieved a call from my co-worker screaming and crying.........
my clients boyfriend/childs father had strangled and killed thier son........
I tried to correct her.. you mean our client.. she said no the Dad!!
In the numerous times I had met the father he seemed more together than my client and had more common sence.. I was floored!!! she said she had some kind of relapse last week, ended up in adult psy for a few days and his psychiatrist changed ALL his medication and sent him home. In less that 24hours he had killed his infant son....
I am devestated!!! No matter how much you try to help, prevent, and even predict events, we are never prepared for such a tragedy. I have know the dad for a few years and to my knowledge he has NO history of violence and is a nice guy.. like I said.. my client appeared less stable than him.
It had to be the meds... What was he prescribed?? WHy would the psy change everything and send him home with a new born??
I know his psychiatris and she actully is one of the good ones. careing and spends time with her clients not just 5 minutes. I heard she is not doing well at hearing the news.
I dont want to bring anyone down. i just feel the need to talk about this. i have never had anything like this happen before.. that little boy who happen to be born to parents who are mentally ill... Im zoned out... IDK.. just wanted to share and ask for prayers for both families in this tragedy..
thanks...
THat being said, i started working with a woman this past summer who was pregnant. upon meeting her i found out that not only was she schizophrenic but her boyfriend/the babys father was too. AS a mother and mental health worker i had concerns about thier ability to care for this baby.
I attempted to get them into parenting classes ect, and much to my dismay they,, mostly my client the mom.. was not interested. She was very gun ho on doing this them selves.. and she said parenting classes were too stressful. ??? i told her if you think the classes are stressful, you wont be able to handle the baby... I was vveerrry concern about her lack of reality in caring for this baby...
In Oct. I transferred her to my co-worker, who was not too happy to get the case in that she was a NEw first time mom with a 3 month old at home. Working with this couple and the potential for tragedy hit a bit too close to home for her. nevertheless... she visited the couple everyday once Baby Sebastian was born in Nov. 08. things were going pretty well. our agency tried to set the new family up with a home health nurse but since the baby did not have any medical problems, they were denied and put on a waiting list.
This morning i recieved a call from my co-worker screaming and crying.........
my clients boyfriend/childs father had strangled and killed thier son........
I tried to correct her.. you mean our client.. she said no the Dad!!
In the numerous times I had met the father he seemed more together than my client and had more common sence.. I was floored!!! she said she had some kind of relapse last week, ended up in adult psy for a few days and his psychiatrist changed ALL his medication and sent him home. In less that 24hours he had killed his infant son....
I am devestated!!! No matter how much you try to help, prevent, and even predict events, we are never prepared for such a tragedy. I have know the dad for a few years and to my knowledge he has NO history of violence and is a nice guy.. like I said.. my client appeared less stable than him.
It had to be the meds... What was he prescribed?? WHy would the psy change everything and send him home with a new born??
I know his psychiatris and she actully is one of the good ones. careing and spends time with her clients not just 5 minutes. I heard she is not doing well at hearing the news.
I dont want to bring anyone down. i just feel the need to talk about this. i have never had anything like this happen before.. that little boy who happen to be born to parents who are mentally ill... Im zoned out... IDK.. just wanted to share and ask for prayers for both families in this tragedy..
thanks...
I want to talk..
... about how damaging it was for me when I was part of a yoga sect and addicted to spiritual practices. I used the practices many many times a day, in an attempt to 'purify' myself and be acceptable to the group.
Anger was frowned upon. I had to suppress my anger.
I was told I wasn't grounded, yet I was desperate to escape myself.
And the practices didn't purify me at all, in fact they stirred up the shadows all the more. Which made me practice all the more.
The sect leaders were way out of their depth with the degree of emotional damage I had. Yet they clung to me, lured me in deeper and deeper, getting me to train as a teacher of their method.
One of the practices is clearly written in the book not to be used by people with 'emotional difficulties'. Despite my, and other members, being clearly emotionally vulnerable noone ever discouraged me or warned me. In fact the most emotionally vulnerable seemed to be the ones drawn into teaching.
I did get some good things from my time with the organisation, don't get me wrong.
But.
It still has the power to make me angry.
And the first ever counsellor I saw, through work for 6 sessions, said she didn't think I needed to be referred onto anyone because I had the yoga group.
Well, 12 years later I can clearly say how very wrong she was. Unless of course she thought I wasn't ready for further help.
But I went from her to having to resign my job [long story, if anyone doesn't mind hearing?] and supply teach. In inner London. Which added further damage, re-traumatisation.
I did eventually get into therapy, and onto medication, and get a healthy job and a safer place to live. And the courage to leave the group and the practices far behind.
And now, with the help of a very good therapist, I am re-framing my relationship with my own spirituality and living closer to the ideals of my heart, growing in compassion and self acceptance.
Anyone else with similar experiences, empathy or understanding?
Anger was frowned upon. I had to suppress my anger.
I was told I wasn't grounded, yet I was desperate to escape myself.
And the practices didn't purify me at all, in fact they stirred up the shadows all the more. Which made me practice all the more.
The sect leaders were way out of their depth with the degree of emotional damage I had. Yet they clung to me, lured me in deeper and deeper, getting me to train as a teacher of their method.
One of the practices is clearly written in the book not to be used by people with 'emotional difficulties'. Despite my, and other members, being clearly emotionally vulnerable noone ever discouraged me or warned me. In fact the most emotionally vulnerable seemed to be the ones drawn into teaching.
I did get some good things from my time with the organisation, don't get me wrong.
But.
It still has the power to make me angry.
And the first ever counsellor I saw, through work for 6 sessions, said she didn't think I needed to be referred onto anyone because I had the yoga group.
Well, 12 years later I can clearly say how very wrong she was. Unless of course she thought I wasn't ready for further help.
But I went from her to having to resign my job [long story, if anyone doesn't mind hearing?] and supply teach. In inner London. Which added further damage, re-traumatisation.
I did eventually get into therapy, and onto medication, and get a healthy job and a safer place to live. And the courage to leave the group and the practices far behind.
And now, with the help of a very good therapist, I am re-framing my relationship with my own spirituality and living closer to the ideals of my heart, growing in compassion and self acceptance.
Anyone else with similar experiences, empathy or understanding?
I blacked out Friday & Saturday and drank all day sunday
I have been doing very well with my drinking. Holding back as much as possible but this weekend I gave in again and got wasted. I am so depressed right now. And of course I am telling myself that I will never drink again. I feel so horrible.
There is an AA meeting tonight in my town and I think its time for me to finally go to AA. I keep thinking that I can control the drinking myself but I cant.
I was such an jerk all weekend and it just isn't like me. I really want to change my life. I know that I have a lot of good to offer but all that ever comes out in the end is the drunk. I NEED HELP! My anxiety is through the roof right now. I am also a manic depressive and I know that the drinking is counteracting my medication.
I want a life free of the addiction. I want to be happy without having to drink. I feel as though I have bottomed out. Im nervous, scared, frustrated, depressed, and self loathing.
It has to get better, I have to turn this around and it has to be now! I need control of my life again! I have such admiration for all of you who have been able to remain sober and are now truly living the life that you have always wanted to live. I hope that one day I will be right there with you. By changing your lives for the better and posting on this site, you have all inspired me.
There is an AA meeting tonight in my town and I think its time for me to finally go to AA. I keep thinking that I can control the drinking myself but I cant.
I was such an jerk all weekend and it just isn't like me. I really want to change my life. I know that I have a lot of good to offer but all that ever comes out in the end is the drunk. I NEED HELP! My anxiety is through the roof right now. I am also a manic depressive and I know that the drinking is counteracting my medication.
I want a life free of the addiction. I want to be happy without having to drink. I feel as though I have bottomed out. Im nervous, scared, frustrated, depressed, and self loathing.
It has to get better, I have to turn this around and it has to be now! I need control of my life again! I have such admiration for all of you who have been able to remain sober and are now truly living the life that you have always wanted to live. I hope that one day I will be right there with you. By changing your lives for the better and posting on this site, you have all inspired me.
