Archive for the ‘Men And Women’ tag
24 Hours A Day Reading
A.A. Thought for the Day
In Alcoholics Anonymous there is no thought of individual profit. No greed or gain. No membership fees, no dues. Only voluntary contributions of our money and ourselves. All that we hope for is sobriety and regeneration, so that we can live normal, respectable lives and can be recognized by others as men and women willing to do unto others as we would be done by. These things we accomplish by the help of each other, by following the Twelve Steps, and by the grace of God. Am I willing to work for A.A. without material gain to myself?
Meditation for the Day
What is sometimes called a conversion by religion is often only the discovery of God as a friend in need, What is sometimes called religion is often only the experiencing of the help and strength of God's power in our lives. What is sometimes called holiness is often only the invitation of God to be our Friend. As God becomes your friend, you become a friend to others. We experience true human friendship and from this experience we can imagine what kind of a Great Friend God can be. We believe Him to be a tireless, selfless, all conquering, miracle-working Friend. We can reach out to the Great Friend and figuratively take His hand in ours.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may think of God as a Great Friend in need. I pray that I may go along with Him.
Hazelden Foundation PO Box 176 Center City, MN 55012
In Alcoholics Anonymous there is no thought of individual profit. No greed or gain. No membership fees, no dues. Only voluntary contributions of our money and ourselves. All that we hope for is sobriety and regeneration, so that we can live normal, respectable lives and can be recognized by others as men and women willing to do unto others as we would be done by. These things we accomplish by the help of each other, by following the Twelve Steps, and by the grace of God. Am I willing to work for A.A. without material gain to myself?
Meditation for the Day
What is sometimes called a conversion by religion is often only the discovery of God as a friend in need, What is sometimes called religion is often only the experiencing of the help and strength of God's power in our lives. What is sometimes called holiness is often only the invitation of God to be our Friend. As God becomes your friend, you become a friend to others. We experience true human friendship and from this experience we can imagine what kind of a Great Friend God can be. We believe Him to be a tireless, selfless, all conquering, miracle-working Friend. We can reach out to the Great Friend and figuratively take His hand in ours.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may think of God as a Great Friend in need. I pray that I may go along with Him.
Hazelden Foundation PO Box 176 Center City, MN 55012
Depression and Mid Life
I wonder how many people have made the connection between their depression and the change of life ? One thing that is a constant between men and women is the chemical imbalanced that often triggers depression, mood swings and anti social behaviours.
You could be pre-menopause (Andreapause for the guys) as early as 35-40 yrs of age. I've dated women that were going experiencing this in their late 30's, verified by their doctors... its not pretty since it can broadside you :a043:
Just something to think about...
You could be pre-menopause (Andreapause for the guys) as early as 35-40 yrs of age. I've dated women that were going experiencing this in their late 30's, verified by their doctors... its not pretty since it can broadside you :a043:
Just something to think about...
Please Remember
He was a brave young man, the second youngest of 13 children raised in a family that didn't have much in worldly goods but filled with love.
When the war in Europe broke out, he signed up to fight for what he knew was right...freedom for all, freedom from tyrants, freedom from persecution because of race, religion, colour or beliefs.
He fought in Italy and sweated in the trenches of North Africa. He fought the last days in Holland and the joy of liberation was short lived when he saw his first mass grave uncovered...a grave filled with children. He never forgot this.
Each year he went to Cenotaph to remember those who fought with him, those who never came home and to remember that grave with prayers that this would never happen again.
He was humble in his presence, wearing his medals only when encouraged to do so by family and others who had shared his journey. He never spoke of what he saw until about 20 years after the war had ended, but he never forgot and he never stopped praying.
Today he rests in a home for the aged, no longer able to march with those who served. Today he has lost much of his short term memory, yet still remembers...those he fought with, those who were lost and that grave frilled with children.
Today I will take pause at 11 am, and I will say a prayer of gratitude, for all those who have served and given their lives to ensure that our world remains a place where I can walk in peace.
Today I will say a special thank you for the best father-in-law anyone could ever have the privilege of knowing. Today I will remember his stories, especially the story of the grave, and my heart will weep for the loss many years ago of those who fought to make my world a place where I will never see or know the atrocities that this sweet man endured.
Thank you dad, thank you for sharing your stories and may I never forget or take for granted one moment of my life.
I remember. Please take a moment and honour these men and women with me. The soldiers of wars gone by and those who continue to fight bravely for your freedom and mine.
God bless every one of them.
Hugs
When the war in Europe broke out, he signed up to fight for what he knew was right...freedom for all, freedom from tyrants, freedom from persecution because of race, religion, colour or beliefs.
He fought in Italy and sweated in the trenches of North Africa. He fought the last days in Holland and the joy of liberation was short lived when he saw his first mass grave uncovered...a grave filled with children. He never forgot this.
Each year he went to Cenotaph to remember those who fought with him, those who never came home and to remember that grave with prayers that this would never happen again.
He was humble in his presence, wearing his medals only when encouraged to do so by family and others who had shared his journey. He never spoke of what he saw until about 20 years after the war had ended, but he never forgot and he never stopped praying.
Today he rests in a home for the aged, no longer able to march with those who served. Today he has lost much of his short term memory, yet still remembers...those he fought with, those who were lost and that grave frilled with children.
Today I will take pause at 11 am, and I will say a prayer of gratitude, for all those who have served and given their lives to ensure that our world remains a place where I can walk in peace.
Today I will say a special thank you for the best father-in-law anyone could ever have the privilege of knowing. Today I will remember his stories, especially the story of the grave, and my heart will weep for the loss many years ago of those who fought to make my world a place where I will never see or know the atrocities that this sweet man endured.
Thank you dad, thank you for sharing your stories and may I never forget or take for granted one moment of my life.
I remember. Please take a moment and honour these men and women with me. The soldiers of wars gone by and those who continue to fight bravely for your freedom and mine.
God bless every one of them.
Hugs
To All the Veterans….
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your service to this country, and all of your sacrifices. I don't remember who said it or if I am quoting it correctly, but...
"Freedom has a flavor the protected will never know"
So thank you, dear men and women...and know that you are loved!:usa:
"Freedom has a flavor the protected will never know"
So thank you, dear men and women...and know that you are loved!:usa:
Yelling at God, Dealing with Disappointment
Yelling at God, Dealing with Disappointment
By: Paul Davis
I was reminded recently of a scene in the movie "The Apostle" wherein
a lady is talking about his prayer life. She poignantly said,
"Sometimes he prays. Sometimes he just yells."
Have you ever yelled or had an intense conversation with God? Has God
ever disappointed you? Have you ever felt like what God promised you
was delaying and not happening as you expected?
While in Miami, I was working out at a hotel gym one night when I saw
a scene from a sitcom on the TV. A teenage girl who anticipated going
out on a date was suddenly asked by her father to stay home and
babysit her younger brother. She was greatly upset saying, "I was
supposed to go out tonight." Her father replied, "Well, I was supposed
to be a millionaire by the time I was 21 years old, but that's not
happening."
Life seemingly and sadly comes with some illusions. Things that we
expect are supposed to happen don't always do, or at least not always
within our timetable. Dealing with disappointment can certainly be a
daunting and challenging task, particularly when it has to do with our
relationship with our Creator.
Here are some things to remember.
1. Delay is not denial.
Everything God has promised, He shall fulfill. "God is not a man, that
he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he
said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make
it good?" (Numbers 23:19)
2. You are not alone in your feelings toward God.
Many other men and women of God throughout history also struggled
similarly with overcoming disappointment. David, a man after God's own
heart, often voiced his complaints throughout the Psalms. Many of the
Psalms came about as a result of David pouring his heart out to God,
complaining about his current struggles, and seeking God for insight.
David mentioned "the ungodly who prosper" was very "painful" for him
(Psalm 73:12,16). However when David went to God's house he gained
understanding and realized the end of the wicked (v. 17).
Even Jesus on the cross felt forsaken by His heavenly Father when He
uttered the words: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Psalm
22:1; Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34).
The great apostle Paul said at one time in his life, "All men forsook
me" (2 Timothy 4:16). Nevertheless the Lord stood with Paul and
strengthened him (v. 17).
3. Disappointment should be a time to schedule a divine appointment to
gain insight and personal inner strength.
As Paul was alone and disappointed, he drew closer to God who
strengthened him. Likewise should we turn disappointment into a divine
appointment. Seek God for insight, understanding, and strength.
Our God is a very present help in a time of trouble (Psalm 46:1).
4. Share your feelings with other strong believers who can encourage
you in your faith.
"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend"
(Proverbs 27:17). We need each other for encouragement, counsel,
comfort, and courage. A difficult time is not the time to discard your
convictions and run.
We all have feelings, which we should validate. However we do not have
to be governed by our feelings. Sharing your feelings does not mean
you have to follow and act them out.
5. Pray for each other as you endure life's struggles.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you
may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails
much (James 5:16).
6. Walk by faith not by sight.
Feelings fluctuate and change. God exhorts and encourages us to "walk
by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7). Faith is a mighty force
by which you can change your world. Therefore don't succumb to
circumstances, but speak to them and overcome them (Mark 11:23).
"And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of
Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also,
and Samuel, and of the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms,
wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions"
(Hebrews 11:32-33).
7. Expect to see God's glory revealed through your personal suffering.
"The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared
with the glory which shall be revealed in us" (Romans 8:18).
Suffering is common to everyone - believer and unbeliever. However God
empowers His children to be overcomers and conquerors.
"Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that
loved us" (Romans 8:37).
How can we overcome unless we go through struggles and challenges?
Therefore get a warrior's mindset to be militant and go to battle
against your present circumstances.
Decide to overcome rather than be overwhelmed. As you do, God will
strengthen you for the battle at hand and teach you how to fight
(Psalm 18).
"Only believe and you shall see the glory of God" (John 11:40).
Paul Davis is a life coach (relational & professional), traveling
minister and fitness trainer. Paul is the author of several books
including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; and God vs. Religion. Paul
is a popular worldwide keynote speaker, creative consultant, humor
being, adventurer, explorer, mediator, minister, liberator and
dream-maker. (wow! Paul sounds like a busy guy)
By: Paul Davis
I was reminded recently of a scene in the movie "The Apostle" wherein
a lady is talking about his prayer life. She poignantly said,
"Sometimes he prays. Sometimes he just yells."
Have you ever yelled or had an intense conversation with God? Has God
ever disappointed you? Have you ever felt like what God promised you
was delaying and not happening as you expected?
While in Miami, I was working out at a hotel gym one night when I saw
a scene from a sitcom on the TV. A teenage girl who anticipated going
out on a date was suddenly asked by her father to stay home and
babysit her younger brother. She was greatly upset saying, "I was
supposed to go out tonight." Her father replied, "Well, I was supposed
to be a millionaire by the time I was 21 years old, but that's not
happening."
Life seemingly and sadly comes with some illusions. Things that we
expect are supposed to happen don't always do, or at least not always
within our timetable. Dealing with disappointment can certainly be a
daunting and challenging task, particularly when it has to do with our
relationship with our Creator.
Here are some things to remember.
1. Delay is not denial.
Everything God has promised, He shall fulfill. "God is not a man, that
he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he
said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make
it good?" (Numbers 23:19)
2. You are not alone in your feelings toward God.
Many other men and women of God throughout history also struggled
similarly with overcoming disappointment. David, a man after God's own
heart, often voiced his complaints throughout the Psalms. Many of the
Psalms came about as a result of David pouring his heart out to God,
complaining about his current struggles, and seeking God for insight.
David mentioned "the ungodly who prosper" was very "painful" for him
(Psalm 73:12,16). However when David went to God's house he gained
understanding and realized the end of the wicked (v. 17).
Even Jesus on the cross felt forsaken by His heavenly Father when He
uttered the words: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Psalm
22:1; Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34).
The great apostle Paul said at one time in his life, "All men forsook
me" (2 Timothy 4:16). Nevertheless the Lord stood with Paul and
strengthened him (v. 17).
3. Disappointment should be a time to schedule a divine appointment to
gain insight and personal inner strength.
As Paul was alone and disappointed, he drew closer to God who
strengthened him. Likewise should we turn disappointment into a divine
appointment. Seek God for insight, understanding, and strength.
Our God is a very present help in a time of trouble (Psalm 46:1).
4. Share your feelings with other strong believers who can encourage
you in your faith.
"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend"
(Proverbs 27:17). We need each other for encouragement, counsel,
comfort, and courage. A difficult time is not the time to discard your
convictions and run.
We all have feelings, which we should validate. However we do not have
to be governed by our feelings. Sharing your feelings does not mean
you have to follow and act them out.
5. Pray for each other as you endure life's struggles.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you
may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails
much (James 5:16).
6. Walk by faith not by sight.
Feelings fluctuate and change. God exhorts and encourages us to "walk
by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7). Faith is a mighty force
by which you can change your world. Therefore don't succumb to
circumstances, but speak to them and overcome them (Mark 11:23).
"And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of
Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also,
and Samuel, and of the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms,
wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions"
(Hebrews 11:32-33).
7. Expect to see God's glory revealed through your personal suffering.
"The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared
with the glory which shall be revealed in us" (Romans 8:18).
Suffering is common to everyone - believer and unbeliever. However God
empowers His children to be overcomers and conquerors.
"Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that
loved us" (Romans 8:37).
How can we overcome unless we go through struggles and challenges?
Therefore get a warrior's mindset to be militant and go to battle
against your present circumstances.
Decide to overcome rather than be overwhelmed. As you do, God will
strengthen you for the battle at hand and teach you how to fight
(Psalm 18).
"Only believe and you shall see the glory of God" (John 11:40).
Paul Davis is a life coach (relational & professional), traveling
minister and fitness trainer. Paul is the author of several books
including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; and God vs. Religion. Paul
is a popular worldwide keynote speaker, creative consultant, humor
being, adventurer, explorer, mediator, minister, liberator and
dream-maker. (wow! Paul sounds like a busy guy)
What I didnÂ’t understand at my First Al-Anon Meeting
By Angela L. , Washington
I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting after my boyfriend had his first relapse. Tears that hadnÂ’t stopped in days were running down my face. I wasnÂ’t wearing makeup and my hair was tied back just to keep it out of my face. I brought my boyfriendÂ’s Sponsor with me, a longtimer who had more than 20 years of sobriety under his belt. He was the only person I could think of to call for help; he showed me Al-Anon.
I remember walking into the room knowing that these people were going to tell me what I needed to do to help my alcoholic boyfriend get back on track. I shared what had happened: he picked up drinking again after being sober for two and a half years and was now in jail. I waited for someone, anyone, to tell me their secret since they all were either nodding their heads or smiling. One lady turned to me and said, “Keep Coming Back.: Another person said, “Welcome.”
What was going on? Why wouldnÂ’t they tell me what to do? I sat there crying even harder. My boyfriendÂ’s Sponsor didnÂ’t say anything; he just patted my back as I was doubled over in pain and confusion. Why were these people not telling me how to fix the problem? CouldnÂ’t they see my pain? DidnÂ’t anyone care?
I got angry. I stood up and proceeded to let everyone know that I thought they were mean and hateful for “keeping” their little “secret” to themselves, apparently thinking I wasn’t worth knowing it. Once I had given everyone in the room a piece of my mind, including my boyfriend’s Sponsor, I stormed out determined to fix my alcoholic boyfriend without their help.
I spent the next four years going to open A.A. meetings, learning the Steps and reading everything I could about alcoholism and addiction. I talked to men and women in recovery and listened to their stories. I became somewhat of an expert on this horrible, destructive disease that was eating up my soul.
During this time two things happened. My boyfriend and I got married, and he had six more relapses.
By the time I came back to Al-Anon, I was so broken and empty- all I could do to go on was breathe. I was dead inside, and no one could see it. I had no hope, no joy, no feeling of self-worth. I was drained and tired. I had tried to “fix” the alcoholic only to destroy myself in the process.
I walked into my second Al-Anon meeting not so much with the hope of help but with the fear of not getting it. I walked in prepared to kill myself and had the means to do so. I didnÂ’t know what to expect, but I knew that I couldnÂ’t continue living in this pain anymore. Something in the back of my mind kept telling me that if A.A. works for them, Al-Anon could really work for me.
I didn’t yell at anyone; I didn’t double up in pain and confusion, I just sat there crying and listening. Some of it I could relate to, some I couldn’t. Then I heard someone say that “I” didn’t cause it, “I” can’t cure it and “I” can’t control it. All of a sudden this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It wasn’t my fault! A very small glimmer of hope started to form in my mind, and I wanted more.
I went to that meeting wanting to rid my life of this agonizing feeling but left wanting to come back. Over the next several months I went to meetings every week, bought and read literature, talked with others, found a Sponsor, and got into service work.
In the beginning, words couldn’t describe the pain I was in. Now words can’t describe the peace I’m in. My worst day in Al-Anon far outweighs my best day without it. Today, I understand serenity. I appreciate suggestions, and I have hope. I‘ve accepted the alcoholic for who he is because now I know who I am.
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqts, Inc. Virginia Beach, VA.
I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting after my boyfriend had his first relapse. Tears that hadnÂ’t stopped in days were running down my face. I wasnÂ’t wearing makeup and my hair was tied back just to keep it out of my face. I brought my boyfriendÂ’s Sponsor with me, a longtimer who had more than 20 years of sobriety under his belt. He was the only person I could think of to call for help; he showed me Al-Anon.
I remember walking into the room knowing that these people were going to tell me what I needed to do to help my alcoholic boyfriend get back on track. I shared what had happened: he picked up drinking again after being sober for two and a half years and was now in jail. I waited for someone, anyone, to tell me their secret since they all were either nodding their heads or smiling. One lady turned to me and said, “Keep Coming Back.: Another person said, “Welcome.”
What was going on? Why wouldnÂ’t they tell me what to do? I sat there crying even harder. My boyfriendÂ’s Sponsor didnÂ’t say anything; he just patted my back as I was doubled over in pain and confusion. Why were these people not telling me how to fix the problem? CouldnÂ’t they see my pain? DidnÂ’t anyone care?
I got angry. I stood up and proceeded to let everyone know that I thought they were mean and hateful for “keeping” their little “secret” to themselves, apparently thinking I wasn’t worth knowing it. Once I had given everyone in the room a piece of my mind, including my boyfriend’s Sponsor, I stormed out determined to fix my alcoholic boyfriend without their help.
I spent the next four years going to open A.A. meetings, learning the Steps and reading everything I could about alcoholism and addiction. I talked to men and women in recovery and listened to their stories. I became somewhat of an expert on this horrible, destructive disease that was eating up my soul.
During this time two things happened. My boyfriend and I got married, and he had six more relapses.
By the time I came back to Al-Anon, I was so broken and empty- all I could do to go on was breathe. I was dead inside, and no one could see it. I had no hope, no joy, no feeling of self-worth. I was drained and tired. I had tried to “fix” the alcoholic only to destroy myself in the process.
I walked into my second Al-Anon meeting not so much with the hope of help but with the fear of not getting it. I walked in prepared to kill myself and had the means to do so. I didnÂ’t know what to expect, but I knew that I couldnÂ’t continue living in this pain anymore. Something in the back of my mind kept telling me that if A.A. works for them, Al-Anon could really work for me.
I didn’t yell at anyone; I didn’t double up in pain and confusion, I just sat there crying and listening. Some of it I could relate to, some I couldn’t. Then I heard someone say that “I” didn’t cause it, “I” can’t cure it and “I” can’t control it. All of a sudden this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It wasn’t my fault! A very small glimmer of hope started to form in my mind, and I wanted more.
I went to that meeting wanting to rid my life of this agonizing feeling but left wanting to come back. Over the next several months I went to meetings every week, bought and read literature, talked with others, found a Sponsor, and got into service work.
In the beginning, words couldn’t describe the pain I was in. Now words can’t describe the peace I’m in. My worst day in Al-Anon far outweighs my best day without it. Today, I understand serenity. I appreciate suggestions, and I have hope. I‘ve accepted the alcoholic for who he is because now I know who I am.
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqts, Inc. Virginia Beach, VA.
Wearing All The Hats
Hey Fam,
After some recent events and sharing a little about myself in a thread about the 7th Tradition, I decided to vent a bit here and see what ES&H you guys can give me. I suspect some of you will share with me stuff I've already been told before...but I think I need to hear it again anyway. LOL!!
Okay..here goes: When I came home from jail in 2001, I joined a new home group. The group I previously called "home" had become too wild for me, plus my work schedule didn't allow for me to attend like I wished. My new home group was small and intimate, and it met once a week on Sunday evenings. The members were a mix of men and women, and some had extensive clean time and others were fairly new. Everybody was nice, polite and very respectable. There were 9 group members and the meeting averaged about 15 people every Sunday. I felt comfortable there and we got to know each other very well in a short time.
I immediately volunteered for a service position, and when the rotation came around I was voted in as the new treasurer. I thought it was pretty cool because as a newcomer I was removed from the treasurer position because I didn't have enough clean time. At this time I had almost 3 years clean and I wanted to prove I'd be the best treasurer this group ever had.
I loved my home group and I looked forward to going every week. Keeping the financial records was easy and the tasks that came with the position were a breeze. Prior to the ends of my using, I took pride in effectively handling my own financial affairs, so it wasn't a big deal for me to pay the rent, purchase supplies and give a report during group conscience. I guess I did such a good job that everytime rotation came up, I'd get voted back in as treasurer. I guess it didn't help any that two of our senior members moved out of town, one member joined another group, and another member went out on the zeal. In a matter of three years, I became the senior member of our group and those who once attended every week, would now came erratically.
Our GSR resigned because she got a new job and had to work on Sundays. Our "speaker seeker" got a new job and if he didn't have to work on Sunday, he'd prefer to go fishing. Our coffee maker got sick and has suffered illness after illness - sometimes being hospitalized for long periods. I could go on, but I think you get where I'm headed. Before I knew it, I was wearing almost all the hats. It was tiresome, but I did what I felt I had to do to keep the doors open. Setting up the chairs, making the coffee, putting out the literature, shoveling snow, cleaning up after the meeting, giving reports, attending our area meeting, etc...
Some new members eventually joined, but they were very irresponsible. They'd come late and sometimes leave early. No one wanted to be GSR or treasurer. Our speaker seeker would forget to get a speaker. Our greeter relapsed. It got to the point where I'd come on Sunday's expecting things to go wrong - sometimes they did and other times things went worse than wrong. LOL!!
Oldtimers would visit and see what was going on and suggest that I leave and join another group. They said I should step back and let the group "sink or swim." I tried that - hoping the others would step up to the plate. No such luck. An example of this is the time I stayed home. The meeting is supposed to start at 4:30...my phone rings at 4:50...a member asks why no one is at the meeting and the doors are locked? Apparently, if neither one of my vehicles is seen in the lot, nobody opens the doors (4 group members have a key!!!). WTF???
As it stands today, there's only 4 group members that show up regularly. Our secretary has been late 3 of the last 4 weeks. Last Sunday she showed up 45 minutes late!! We still have no GSR. No speaker seeker. Our greeter has showed up once in a month. Our coffee maker has been here two weeks in a row, but before that... once in 5 weeks. I could go on....
Comments? Suggestions?
G
After some recent events and sharing a little about myself in a thread about the 7th Tradition, I decided to vent a bit here and see what ES&H you guys can give me. I suspect some of you will share with me stuff I've already been told before...but I think I need to hear it again anyway. LOL!!
Okay..here goes: When I came home from jail in 2001, I joined a new home group. The group I previously called "home" had become too wild for me, plus my work schedule didn't allow for me to attend like I wished. My new home group was small and intimate, and it met once a week on Sunday evenings. The members were a mix of men and women, and some had extensive clean time and others were fairly new. Everybody was nice, polite and very respectable. There were 9 group members and the meeting averaged about 15 people every Sunday. I felt comfortable there and we got to know each other very well in a short time.
I immediately volunteered for a service position, and when the rotation came around I was voted in as the new treasurer. I thought it was pretty cool because as a newcomer I was removed from the treasurer position because I didn't have enough clean time. At this time I had almost 3 years clean and I wanted to prove I'd be the best treasurer this group ever had.
I loved my home group and I looked forward to going every week. Keeping the financial records was easy and the tasks that came with the position were a breeze. Prior to the ends of my using, I took pride in effectively handling my own financial affairs, so it wasn't a big deal for me to pay the rent, purchase supplies and give a report during group conscience. I guess I did such a good job that everytime rotation came up, I'd get voted back in as treasurer. I guess it didn't help any that two of our senior members moved out of town, one member joined another group, and another member went out on the zeal. In a matter of three years, I became the senior member of our group and those who once attended every week, would now came erratically.
Our GSR resigned because she got a new job and had to work on Sundays. Our "speaker seeker" got a new job and if he didn't have to work on Sunday, he'd prefer to go fishing. Our coffee maker got sick and has suffered illness after illness - sometimes being hospitalized for long periods. I could go on, but I think you get where I'm headed. Before I knew it, I was wearing almost all the hats. It was tiresome, but I did what I felt I had to do to keep the doors open. Setting up the chairs, making the coffee, putting out the literature, shoveling snow, cleaning up after the meeting, giving reports, attending our area meeting, etc...
Some new members eventually joined, but they were very irresponsible. They'd come late and sometimes leave early. No one wanted to be GSR or treasurer. Our speaker seeker would forget to get a speaker. Our greeter relapsed. It got to the point where I'd come on Sunday's expecting things to go wrong - sometimes they did and other times things went worse than wrong. LOL!!
Oldtimers would visit and see what was going on and suggest that I leave and join another group. They said I should step back and let the group "sink or swim." I tried that - hoping the others would step up to the plate. No such luck. An example of this is the time I stayed home. The meeting is supposed to start at 4:30...my phone rings at 4:50...a member asks why no one is at the meeting and the doors are locked? Apparently, if neither one of my vehicles is seen in the lot, nobody opens the doors (4 group members have a key!!!). WTF???
As it stands today, there's only 4 group members that show up regularly. Our secretary has been late 3 of the last 4 weeks. Last Sunday she showed up 45 minutes late!! We still have no GSR. No speaker seeker. Our greeter has showed up once in a month. Our coffee maker has been here two weeks in a row, but before that... once in 5 weeks. I could go on....
Comments? Suggestions?
G
Lost the Ability
"We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recoveredever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it evidently hasnÂ’t done so yet."
Excerpt from the First Edition of the Big Bokk of Alcoholics Anonymous
We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it evidently hasnÂ’t done so yet."
Excerpt from the First Edition of the Big Bokk of Alcoholics Anonymous
Two Powers
Over the years I struggled with a new life and many of my escapades are highlighted here as I attempt to share experience, strength and hope. Today, I have a better understanding of why I repeatedly fellow victim to my Alcoholic disease. It is obvious that I carried within, a desire to one day drink like a normal and regular person. Alcoholics are for the most part, seeking to once again drink like their fellows; enjoying beverage Alcohol without major life issues. This is where the conversation starts and ends concerning Alcoholics and Normal people. Alcoholics always want to be something they are not presently when in the grip of active Alcoholism.
For years, I believed in my most private moments, that I was not like the rest of you. Sure, I knew I had a problem while still attending AA for many years, but since I was different and rather unique there was nothing that the first three steps would not cure; one day I would drink like normal folks do, one day. I did not need the harsh examination like you folks did, I didn't need to work as hard as you folks did and I damn sure didn't need to help others like you folks did. Since I wanted to fit in, I would lip service that I had it all through the entire Twelve Step program when in fact I barely had only the first three steps and one admitted Power greater than I, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Over the some 25 years of being a part of AA, I never understood that I needed two Powers greater than I; the fellowship of men and women who share the common solution from a hopeless malady and the belief in a Power that transcends the frailty of man; Two Powers.
Also, the deadly lie I thrived on was twofold. 1. That one day I would drink like a normal man. 2. That I was not really that bad, not like some of you. The term bad is relative; how could one fail at living more than I had, yet living within this lie, which we know as denial, I was convinced of my place in normalcy. I was one of those men; another soul who was dying in AA. Maybe you never met me personally, but you knew many like me, because I was the guy that just didn’t get it. I failed to fully grasp the common solution and I failed to grasp the idea of Two Powers. I allowed self knowledge to propel me through life usually at your expense.
If you want to know more about Two Powers and the common solution please follow the link below to Silkworth.com and listen to two of the most respected members of AA, Charlie and Joe share their experience, strength and hope in their Big Book teaching on “There is a Solution”.
If you have an IPod, Iphone or MP3 player, download these amazing lessons and begin to learn our Basic Text like never before. These two men were instrumental in my New Life and they could be in yours.
Downloads & mp3's from silkworth.net
Ron
For years, I believed in my most private moments, that I was not like the rest of you. Sure, I knew I had a problem while still attending AA for many years, but since I was different and rather unique there was nothing that the first three steps would not cure; one day I would drink like normal folks do, one day. I did not need the harsh examination like you folks did, I didn't need to work as hard as you folks did and I damn sure didn't need to help others like you folks did. Since I wanted to fit in, I would lip service that I had it all through the entire Twelve Step program when in fact I barely had only the first three steps and one admitted Power greater than I, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Over the some 25 years of being a part of AA, I never understood that I needed two Powers greater than I; the fellowship of men and women who share the common solution from a hopeless malady and the belief in a Power that transcends the frailty of man; Two Powers.
Also, the deadly lie I thrived on was twofold. 1. That one day I would drink like a normal man. 2. That I was not really that bad, not like some of you. The term bad is relative; how could one fail at living more than I had, yet living within this lie, which we know as denial, I was convinced of my place in normalcy. I was one of those men; another soul who was dying in AA. Maybe you never met me personally, but you knew many like me, because I was the guy that just didn’t get it. I failed to fully grasp the common solution and I failed to grasp the idea of Two Powers. I allowed self knowledge to propel me through life usually at your expense.
If you want to know more about Two Powers and the common solution please follow the link below to Silkworth.com and listen to two of the most respected members of AA, Charlie and Joe share their experience, strength and hope in their Big Book teaching on “There is a Solution”.
If you have an IPod, Iphone or MP3 player, download these amazing lessons and begin to learn our Basic Text like never before. These two men were instrumental in my New Life and they could be in yours.
Downloads & mp3's from silkworth.net
Ron
