Archive for the ‘Moderation’ tag
Failed but back again
Last time (my first true attempt) I managed ten days.
Then I did my best to make up for it by drinking every day and getting hammered since then. Sigh.
Today is another Day one.
It's annoying to think I got to ten days last time and now I have to start all over again.
I drank 5 litres of wine in 5 days. So my plan of 'moderation' quickly got me up to a litre of wine a night. Oh and two 'half' bottles as well, cos they don't count right
Anywhere here I am. Back again.
Then I did my best to make up for it by drinking every day and getting hammered since then. Sigh.
Today is another Day one.
It's annoying to think I got to ten days last time and now I have to start all over again.
I drank 5 litres of wine in 5 days. So my plan of 'moderation' quickly got me up to a litre of wine a night. Oh and two 'half' bottles as well, cos they don't count right
Anywhere here I am. Back again.
New to the Civilian World
Hmmm...where to begin? I'm a 4.5 year veteran of the military. I've just gotten out about 2 months ago and only then, have I truly realized my experience? dependence? stupidity? with alcohol.
I never used to drink in high school and got introduced to it while in the military. Slowly but steadily, I noticed that all of our off-time revolved around drinking. Whether it was fishing, going out to eat, the bars, camping, etc. I didn't mind, nor did I see anything wrong with it, as I was "with the boys". Some of them would even show up at 6AM drunk as hell and still run 5 miles like it wasn't anything hard.
About 3 years in, I realized I started drinking (mainly while on the internet, like the other thread stated) out of boredom. I still managed to stay in very good shape, but continued to drink heavily at least 4-5 times a week.
When I got out 2 months ago, I sort of lost it. I think over the course of 3 weeks, I drank 6 handles of Jack Daniels. Coping with the loss of my friends, plus PTSD in a whole new world sort of made me lose it for a bit.
Two weeks ago, I kind of came to the conclusion that this would destroy me in college (chemical engineering in January), it was costly and was doing a lot of stupid things while under the influence.
I've been sober for 2 weeks now, with the exception of 2 parties. However, I did a test and managed to only have 2 beers a piece at each party, acting as the DD. No shakes or seizures of any kind (so far). I do still feel the cravings like an alcoholic (I know I am one) but I have managed to control myself from going to the store. Discipline? I don't know.
I don't know whether to stop completely or just try to continue to go back into the world of moderation. I feel helpless and empowered at the same time. I feel like I can control it but I don't want to go back to the same old totally drunken self.
Any thoughts?
I never used to drink in high school and got introduced to it while in the military. Slowly but steadily, I noticed that all of our off-time revolved around drinking. Whether it was fishing, going out to eat, the bars, camping, etc. I didn't mind, nor did I see anything wrong with it, as I was "with the boys". Some of them would even show up at 6AM drunk as hell and still run 5 miles like it wasn't anything hard.
About 3 years in, I realized I started drinking (mainly while on the internet, like the other thread stated) out of boredom. I still managed to stay in very good shape, but continued to drink heavily at least 4-5 times a week.
When I got out 2 months ago, I sort of lost it. I think over the course of 3 weeks, I drank 6 handles of Jack Daniels. Coping with the loss of my friends, plus PTSD in a whole new world sort of made me lose it for a bit.
Two weeks ago, I kind of came to the conclusion that this would destroy me in college (chemical engineering in January), it was costly and was doing a lot of stupid things while under the influence.
I've been sober for 2 weeks now, with the exception of 2 parties. However, I did a test and managed to only have 2 beers a piece at each party, acting as the DD. No shakes or seizures of any kind (so far). I do still feel the cravings like an alcoholic (I know I am one) but I have managed to control myself from going to the store. Discipline? I don't know.
I don't know whether to stop completely or just try to continue to go back into the world of moderation. I feel helpless and empowered at the same time. I feel like I can control it but I don't want to go back to the same old totally drunken self.
Any thoughts?
Spending a weekend half-drunk
Alcoholism is present on both sides of my family. I've had a tendency to drink too much at once since I was 18, but those times were few and far between.
Now, like many here, I am seeking help and a way to get out of this hell.
I won't go into thembarassing things I've done,.....but I would like to tell you how I got here, noting that I'm not excusing myself, but explaining how alcohol became a crutch.
About 8 years ago, my job became increasinglt stressful, my boss increasingly a power hungry arse. I started to drink in the evenings, began to get depressed (but didn't know what it was) and drank more to ease that feeling.
Then my mother got diagnosed with Cancer, which invited more alcohol, more depression. 2 months after my Mom died, my wife filed for divorce, and sudddenly not only was my Mom gone, but now my wife and kids. My wife was aslo drinking heavily, and we weren't happy. I'd plead with her to slow down, because I was trying desperately to. All our friends were heavy drinkers.
I almost lost my licence shortly after my wife left, but the Police Officer, God Bless him took me home instead.
My depression is getting better, but I'm still having troble with alcohol.
I convince myself that I've got ahold of it, and am controlling it now, but that's not true, and eventually the amount creeps back up.
I don't believe moderation can work for me.............right now I'm sipping on Vodka and water, sparingly to try and control the withdrawal symptoms and wean off.
I look forward to being a member here, and hope you can inspire me, and that later I can inspire others.
I took last Friday off to get some yardwork and housework don, and spent it instead drinking, then picking my kids up. I was never totally blitzed, and have improved, but I DID drink about 15 drinks each day. I'm tired of this.
Now, like many here, I am seeking help and a way to get out of this hell.
I won't go into thembarassing things I've done,.....but I would like to tell you how I got here, noting that I'm not excusing myself, but explaining how alcohol became a crutch.
About 8 years ago, my job became increasinglt stressful, my boss increasingly a power hungry arse. I started to drink in the evenings, began to get depressed (but didn't know what it was) and drank more to ease that feeling.
Then my mother got diagnosed with Cancer, which invited more alcohol, more depression. 2 months after my Mom died, my wife filed for divorce, and sudddenly not only was my Mom gone, but now my wife and kids. My wife was aslo drinking heavily, and we weren't happy. I'd plead with her to slow down, because I was trying desperately to. All our friends were heavy drinkers.
I almost lost my licence shortly after my wife left, but the Police Officer, God Bless him took me home instead.
My depression is getting better, but I'm still having troble with alcohol.
I convince myself that I've got ahold of it, and am controlling it now, but that's not true, and eventually the amount creeps back up.
I don't believe moderation can work for me.............right now I'm sipping on Vodka and water, sparingly to try and control the withdrawal symptoms and wean off.
I look forward to being a member here, and hope you can inspire me, and that later I can inspire others.
I took last Friday off to get some yardwork and housework don, and spent it instead drinking, then picking my kids up. I was never totally blitzed, and have improved, but I DID drink about 15 drinks each day. I'm tired of this.
Came here for help
Alcoholism is present on both sides of my family. I've had a tendency to drink too much at once since I was 18, but those times were few and far between.
Now, like many here, I am seeking help and a way to get out of this hell.
I won't go into thembarassing things I've done,.....but I would like to tell you how I got here, noting that I'm not excusing myself, but explaining how alcohol became a crutch.
About 8 years ago, my job became increasinglt stressful, my boss increasingly a power hungry arse. I started to drink in the evenings, began to get depressed (but didn't know what it was) and drank more to ease that feeling.
Then my mother got diagnosed with Cancer, which invited more alcohol, more depression. 2 months after my Mom died, my wife filed for divorce, and sudddenly not only was my Mom gone, but now my wife and kids. My wife was aslo drinking heavily, and we weren't happy. I'd plead with her to slow down, because I was trying desperately to. All our friends were heavy drinkers.
I almost lost my licence shortly after my wife left, but the Police Officer, God Bless him took me home instead.
My depression is getting better, but I'm still having troble with alcohol.
I convince myself that I've got ahold of it, and am controlling it now, but that's not true, and eventually the amount creeps back up.
I don't believe moderation can work for me.............right now I'm sipping on Vodka and water, sparingly to try and control the withdrawal symptoms and wean off.
I look forward to being a member here, and hope you can inspire me, and that later I can inspire others.
Now, like many here, I am seeking help and a way to get out of this hell.
I won't go into thembarassing things I've done,.....but I would like to tell you how I got here, noting that I'm not excusing myself, but explaining how alcohol became a crutch.
About 8 years ago, my job became increasinglt stressful, my boss increasingly a power hungry arse. I started to drink in the evenings, began to get depressed (but didn't know what it was) and drank more to ease that feeling.
Then my mother got diagnosed with Cancer, which invited more alcohol, more depression. 2 months after my Mom died, my wife filed for divorce, and sudddenly not only was my Mom gone, but now my wife and kids. My wife was aslo drinking heavily, and we weren't happy. I'd plead with her to slow down, because I was trying desperately to. All our friends were heavy drinkers.
I almost lost my licence shortly after my wife left, but the Police Officer, God Bless him took me home instead.
My depression is getting better, but I'm still having troble with alcohol.
I convince myself that I've got ahold of it, and am controlling it now, but that's not true, and eventually the amount creeps back up.
I don't believe moderation can work for me.............right now I'm sipping on Vodka and water, sparingly to try and control the withdrawal symptoms and wean off.
I look forward to being a member here, and hope you can inspire me, and that later I can inspire others.
Any success with moderation?
I am having a hard time abstaining entirely but have had relative success with moderation over the past 15 months. If I can avoid drinking alone I don't have any problems. I have drank to excess perhaps 6 or 7 times over the past 15 months. All other occasions which are quite infrequent, maybe once a week or every two weeks I can hold it to 1 or 2 without even thinking about it. There was a time in my life a few years back that I wanted to drink daily and held it to maybe 4 days/week. I just can't imagine never being able to have a glass of wine with a fine meal.
Has anybody out there been able to moderate for any substantial period of time? Thanks!
Has anybody out there been able to moderate for any substantial period of time? Thanks!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
I have the illness in the thread title. Over the past 3 weeks there have been around a dozen panic attacks. September 1st, I didn't sleep more than 3 hours for a week, I was incredibly excited about moving into dorms, when I got there the place was beautiful, I could have studied a saw the entire city skyline from my window. Then all of a sudden I felt like all my friends were gone forever, I wandered around the city, until I came back and talked to one of the RA's. I did the responsible thing which was ask to be taken to a hospital cause I was suicidal, was it the right thing? My illness has crapped over my chance to live away from home, where I'm depressed most of the time and most tempted to drink to self-medicate. I love my friends, more than any fleshy, circulatory system of nerves and organs in the world. This month they all started fighting about moderation issues, most of them left the forum, in a month where my life was being kicked around, my friends broke down and started taking sides. The panic began getting uncontrollable, I threw plates, everyone against the wall. The cordless phone flailed wildly until it made huge holes in the (not a construction worker, that grey quaker oats building material) Now I'm here, 3 days ago my legs were so tight I didn't know if I could stand on them. Normally I drank cause I didn't wanna be suicidal, not that it helped.
DAFT - and how I beat my Saturday night
I'M DAFT!
i had asked how to handle weekend nights late cant sleep in the SATURDAY NIGHT thread
How Do I Fight Saturday Night Boredom
to answer my own question, at least for tonight, I took a simply sleep (benadryl) (not that you should always do that)
im gonna cuddle up and watch SNL, and warm milk, and if im still not drowsy after that ill just watch the Science channel. I love the show HOW ITS MADE but its not intense enough to keep me amped.
I love the feeling of waking up, in the morning (usually cause i have to pee or something loud outside) and the TV is still on and its a new day and its ONE MORE DAY that I didnt drink. and I write it on my calendar. Its something i read somewhere else, a moderation website, i write
DAFT. it means Delightfully Alcohol Free Today, and i think its a much less intimidating phrase than SOBER. thats so dramatic!! and it sounds hard!
so if youve never heard that term, use it! Its so much better to decide to be DAFT then try to be SOBER
Reading all your posts and ideas/tips helps too! Knowing that Im not alone is great. thanks!:You_Rock_
DAFT,
BJ
i had asked how to handle weekend nights late cant sleep in the SATURDAY NIGHT thread
How Do I Fight Saturday Night Boredom
to answer my own question, at least for tonight, I took a simply sleep (benadryl) (not that you should always do that)
im gonna cuddle up and watch SNL, and warm milk, and if im still not drowsy after that ill just watch the Science channel. I love the show HOW ITS MADE but its not intense enough to keep me amped.
I love the feeling of waking up, in the morning (usually cause i have to pee or something loud outside) and the TV is still on and its a new day and its ONE MORE DAY that I didnt drink. and I write it on my calendar. Its something i read somewhere else, a moderation website, i write
DAFT. it means Delightfully Alcohol Free Today, and i think its a much less intimidating phrase than SOBER. thats so dramatic!! and it sounds hard!
so if youve never heard that term, use it! Its so much better to decide to be DAFT then try to be SOBER
Reading all your posts and ideas/tips helps too! Knowing that Im not alone is great. thanks!:You_Rock_
DAFT,
BJ
