Archive for the ‘Mom Thanks’ tag
Here I am again….
Hi all....
It's been a while since I've posted...this roller coaster has taken a toll on me. I ended up in the ER with chest pain yesterday, was there for 7 hours.....I followed up with my reg pcp today and they hooked me up to a 24 hr monitor. They think it's stress related, but they want to be sure. I know it's stress. I am nauseas, I can't eat, can't sleep, cry constantly. I was doing so well...reading my books.....visiting the sites...going to naranon, and then boom...he relapsed and I lost it. I am trying to get back on track...detaching..and working on me , but it's so hard!!!!! To recap a lil for those who don't know...I am 37....My bf is 29...he is a heroin addict...we've been together almost 11 months..and He told me 7 months into the relationship he was an addict...because he had been arrested and needed to go to detox/rehab. I totally died at that moment cried screamed...ran left....2 days later I talked to him and realized I love him ..and needed to help him , support him and give him a chance. so I did!!! since then ...he's relapsed once a month I think..and you know the lies, excuses....guilt, bs etc...I stood by him, I was his warden at times....compassionate at times....I tried it all....finally this last time when he picked up again I lost it and said NO..I am detaching totally..it hurt..i cried....but I tried to take it each day asit came..and did ok..two weeks later i see him ..and all those feelings of love came back..I love his mom..and she loves me....I got to see her....b/c I had also detached from her....I missed her soooo...It was nice. He is going into detox tomorrow........so I pray this is the time he does it..stays clean....does the work...etc.....Please pray for him......me & mom!! Thanks for listening...any advice......would be appreciated!!!!!
:praying
It's been a while since I've posted...this roller coaster has taken a toll on me. I ended up in the ER with chest pain yesterday, was there for 7 hours.....I followed up with my reg pcp today and they hooked me up to a 24 hr monitor. They think it's stress related, but they want to be sure. I know it's stress. I am nauseas, I can't eat, can't sleep, cry constantly. I was doing so well...reading my books.....visiting the sites...going to naranon, and then boom...he relapsed and I lost it. I am trying to get back on track...detaching..and working on me , but it's so hard!!!!! To recap a lil for those who don't know...I am 37....My bf is 29...he is a heroin addict...we've been together almost 11 months..and He told me 7 months into the relationship he was an addict...because he had been arrested and needed to go to detox/rehab. I totally died at that moment cried screamed...ran left....2 days later I talked to him and realized I love him ..and needed to help him , support him and give him a chance. so I did!!! since then ...he's relapsed once a month I think..and you know the lies, excuses....guilt, bs etc...I stood by him, I was his warden at times....compassionate at times....I tried it all....finally this last time when he picked up again I lost it and said NO..I am detaching totally..it hurt..i cried....but I tried to take it each day asit came..and did ok..two weeks later i see him ..and all those feelings of love came back..I love his mom..and she loves me....I got to see her....b/c I had also detached from her....I missed her soooo...It was nice. He is going into detox tomorrow........so I pray this is the time he does it..stays clean....does the work...etc.....Please pray for him......me & mom!! Thanks for listening...any advice......would be appreciated!!!!!
:praying
