Drug Rehab Options Blog

APA Offers Tips for Attaining Your
New Year's Resolutions January 1 is not only the start of the New Year, but is when many begin their New Year?s Resolutions. Mange stress. Eat healthier. Exercise more. Spend more time with family. Sticking to your resolutions and making changes can be difficult but not impossible. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) would like to offer tips and other resources to help families and individuals keep their resolutions for a healthy mind and healthy life.
?A new year is a great time to think about the changes we want to make in our lives. Being and staying well is a resolution many people make for the New Year, but those resolutions can lead to frustration when we find we have set unrealistic goals,? said Philip R. Muskin, M.D., Professor of Clinical Psychiatry, Columbia University and Chair of the APA Council on Psychosomatic Medicine. ?Making a resolution to change one thing that will make us healthier is a priceless gift that only we can give to ourselves.?
Try again. Everyone has made, and broken past resolutions, that does not mean that you won?t succeed this time. Start with a positive approach, including thinking about what has disrupted your good intentions in the past. Don?t discourage yourself with a negative outlook.
Don?t make too many resolutions. Trying to eat better, exercise more, quit smoking, and reduce stress is too much to tackle at once. Pick a realistic, attainable goal with a reasonable time frame.
Choose your own resolution. Make sure this is something that you want to accomplish for yourself and not for friends or family. When you attain the goal they will benefit from your success as well.
Make a plan and write it down. Plan what you?d like to accomplish in three or six months. Achieving small goals over time gives you a sense of accomplishment and motivation to keep going. Writing your goals down is a good way to keep track of your progress.
Involve friends and family. They can support your efforts, and can motivate you to keep going. Setting a personal goal is not a ?promise? which can never be broken. Don?t paint yourself into a corner by overstating what can be a realistic change you plan to make.
Forgive yourself. If you get off track, don?t think that you failed. Review your plan and make adjustments.
Congratulate yourself. Reward yourself when your intermediate goals or resolutions are met.
The most important point to consider when deciding on your resolutions is to decide if you are truly willing to make the change in your life. Deciding to make the change just to have a resolution will not keep you motivated to attain your goal. Many people fail because they are afraid or don?t fully realize how the goal can benefit their every day lives. When you decide on your resolution, make a plan of action and list the ways it will improve your life. When you can see the prize, you are more likely to keep up the fight.




http://www.healthyminds.org/resolutions.cfm

In tears and after a couple of beers, he told me over the phone last night, that he has a problem. He said it's so clear when he's been drinking, but when he's sober he just wants to put the blame on everyone else. He's embarrassed and in disbelief he's even spoken those words. It's hard for him to understand (and me too) and he's confused. I said something about AA, but immediately he's worried about people finding out. He feels like a loser, a failure, ect. He said he misses me and needs my support. (He really wants me to come back home. He thinks that it would be extra motivation for him. I don't think it's a wise idea.) My question is, what do I do next? How do I support him? I don't want to push AA down his throat. I suggested I come over and we do dinner some evenings....just to take his mind off of doing other things and for us to spend time together. I just don't want to ruin this breakthrough.

I am newly wed, my husband always had dislikes against drinking. I have always enjoyed drinking. My typical way of drinking has been, have 2 glasses of wine as I cook and have dinner (I am a big foodie and love the combination of good drink with good food) about 5 days a week. I drink more if we go to friend's party etc, which is probably less than once a month.

He says he doesn't like me drinking because I get slow (vs. witty) and less attentitive toward him and gets emotional. He always had different "reasons" why he dislikes me drinking (one of them used to be that I may cheat on him while I am drunk, at the early dating stage, so I was allowed to drink only when he was around, even at home! He finally understant I am not the cheater, he doesn't say that anymore)

I feel I can drink less frequently, so I recently agreed on drinking just weekends and special occassions. He was supposed to be happy with that, but he is still unhappy and says he doesn't want to be around me if I drink.
I have never been told by anybody (parents, my teeage kids and close friends etc) that I am unpleasant when I drink, rather fun to be around.

He wants me to quit drinking completely and he thinks I can never do so
because he thinks I am an addict. I know I can totally quite (I have done so with past pregnancies and nursing etc). But I don't feel it is necessary other than the fact that I can prove to him that I can quit, which seems to me, the wrong motivation. To me, cutting back to weekends seems like a good plan.
I feel since my wine with good food is something I would call "hobby" it will elminate my eating fun too (BTW I dont have any health problem either, stay fit), he says I am making excuse since I can't quite.... What should I do?

Sharing stories and offering encouragement and motivation is a great thing between a former or current Substance abuser. However what about the flip side of the coin?

I've noticed in some discussions that people that are seeking validation or excuses for there own acts are getting rewarded. Id like to point out that no one forces me or anyone to drink alcohol or abuse any substance. Without taking responsibility for our own actions we will never achieve any of our goals.

People encouraging abuse, triggers, stress, health issues, financial problems, social issues... are problems i hear all the time.These things are terrible and i am sorry to hear it. But it does not give validation or make it any less our fault for abusing.

My point is that at times people want to hear the sympathy to validate there own false perception that its others peoples fault. Or exp: because of such n such problems I have proper motive to lie and abuse.

I am not accusing anyone of false doings on this board or am i saying this is not a great community. But sometimes people should be receiving respectfully reality checks instead of further validation to excuses and motives for there recent screw up.

I know if I was trying to make excuses i would want someone to tell me. Exp someone who has been there before.

So I'm back....you've all welcomed me warmly. I've heard the positive, supportive feedback you've offered. All my good friends here have sent me supportive, caring messages.
So what now?
Am I going to wait until I hit bottom...AGAIN? Am I going to wait until I hurt my family.....AGAIN? Am I going to wait until I do something I wish with all my heart I could change....AGAIN?
Am I going to do all that AGAIN?
Probably.
Why? Cause I don't have it in me to quit again. Although I KNOW I have to quit...I don't WANT to....I want to quit...but I don't WANT to quit....you all know what I mean.
I feel hopeless and completey out of desire and motivation.
I am so scared.
I've never been this scared of anything before. I'm so scared because I know I am powerless over what is going to happen to me.
I feel like a sinking ship....point of no return.
Tay.

So the thrill of sobriety has worn off and now it's daily life for rah. Now what? He knows he needs to find a job and if he gets insurance he has to see a counselor because I swear he's bipolar.
He's let me know his mind is all over the place. He's in a fog and wonders if he's doing the right thing by staying with us because he doesn't want things to be any harder then he's already made them in the past.
He's lacking his self confidence. Alcohol gave him that he said.
He feels shatty about himself......nothing I can do.

I told him to let go of the past because it's all done. We need to move on and find a better way for our future but I need his motivation (in himself). He needs to step up and get off the p*ss pot.

I've had my hands full and I could be a whiner and I gave up a boat load of my own life. Am I asking to much for him to start making a life for himself? He's been home three weeks. Sober a bit over a month.

Set me straight. :):a043:

I've been drinking 6-12 drinks almost daily for the past 3 years. Before that was the typical college binge drinking. I use alcohol to combat loneliness and drown out all the day's stress. I cannot control it anymore.

There are several alcoholics in my extended family, most of them recovering. In my generation alone, two others have been hospitalized for alcohol abuse. I should've known better.

I've had a lot of "last straw" moments over the years. Sometimes I'd manage to quit drinking for a few weeks or months, but always came back.

I've got a long-term girlfriend that I love and live with and want to marry. She's tried to help me, but I've thrown that away. I got drunk last night, as usual, and came to work today probably still drunk. She e-mailed me to tell me there was vomit in my bed. I didn't believe her. I don't remember anything and didn't even notice this morning. I spent the rest of the day trying not to be sick in front of my boss.

I can rationalize a million reasons to buy alcohol every day. Sometimes it's simply because I'm pumping gas or buying groceries. Sometimes it's because I want to erase a genuinely bad day. Ironically, most bad days start with a hangover.

As I strip away the excuses, I realize I drink because I don't know how to cope will stress or spend my free time healthily. I've always been introverted. Drinking is another way for me to internalize and escape problems. I've forgotten how to enjoy myself without hurting myself. I've replaced my old friends and interests with getting drunk, and I don't know how to be me again.

I get upset thinking about the time (in my 20's) and health I've squandered. But at the same time, anger and regret cannot be my motivation. I would turn to AA, but I'm shy and not religious so it's hard for me to accept AA's terms. That's how I ended up seeking out this site.

Anyway, I guess this makes day 1. It already feels good to get all this off my chest.

I'm back. I made it 29 days and then I drank. I drank harder then I ever have, felt worse then I ever have. And finally after about three weeks or so decided that I couldn't live like that. Plus I had alcohol poisoning. This time around I'm not as happy as I was the first time around. I think I feel defeated. I feel like I have no control. This is it. I make it this time or I think I'll die from drinking. It's been eight days sober now. The proud of myself feeling of last time I did this is gone. Now I'm trying to scrape by one minute at a time. I want my life back. I'm living off of coffee and skittles. I'm losing weight, motivation, determination, all of it. I don't know if I wrote this in the right place or not. I don't mean to unload but just writing this down and seeing it infront of me makes me feel real. I miss feeling real. I just miss feeling. August78

Monday, November 3, 2008

State of focus

To be highly effective in what you do, enter a special state of being that you can create with your own intention. Enter a state of focus.
In this state, trivial outside events do not have the power to distract or annoy you. You simply accept them, move past them, and continue working on what's truly important to you.

In your focused state, there is no hesitation or worry about getting it wrong. You move ahead with steady, persistent efforts, knowing that even the mistakes will lead to learning and improvements.

Always with you in your state of focus is a clear and authentic sense of purpose. The energy to keep going and to keep focused comes from remembering why.

When you are focused you are curious, flexible, and open to new ways of creating value. At the same time, you're able to keep yourself solidly on track toward the specific goals you have chosen.

Enter a peaceful, powerful focused state. And make good things happen for your whole world.

-- Ralph Marston (the motivator)

Motivation & Inspiration from The Daily Motivator®

hello. my mother was an alcoholic and died when i was 17. i'm 27 now, i don't have a drinking problem, but i can't help notice that i view life differently than most people. my mother was not physically abusive, but she liked to contort the truth and turn everyone against each other. i know a lot of people have had it worse than i have, and honestly i cannot recall really what was so bad about the past events. but i know that i'm effected by what happened. i judge myself so harshly that i almost cannot stand myself. i attempted suicide when i was 16 and realized that it wasn't the answer. i usually keep myself in isolation, my friends call me and sometimes i don't even answer the phone or call them back for weeks, which to them appears that i am ignoring them, which i guess i am. in social events like parties, i am usually really quiet and sit back and observe. its hard for me to find anything in life that i want, there is nothing that seems interesting to me or fun, i have no motivation to do anything with myself. i feel as if there is no hope for humanity, and at times, i hate people as a whole. i'm not an angry person nor do i have any ill feelings towards anyone. i try to find any escape from life i.e. video games, books, TV, anything that takes me out of this world that i don't find interesting. i am depressed and feel comfortable in it. i want to feel differently about life and myself, but its hard to break the mold and leave my security blanket. i think my father views me as lazy, and i suppose i am, but its more than that. how can i change this when, in a way, i don't want to?